Welcome to the Deploy Yourself Newsletter, where I share what impactful leadership looks like to show your own power. I also share the most insightful lessons and stories I encountered in the last two weeks. You can also read this issue online.
No one is coming… to save you
“I was hoping coaching would solve my problems”, one of my coaching clients recently shared with me.
“And what are you realising now?”, I followed up with a question.
“That nobody can help me until I am ready to take responsibility to change myself.”
There was a pause after that. I saw that he was reflecting so I did not intervene.
“I started coaching as a way to escape responsibility – to get that relief that from now on – my coach will solve all my problems. Now I see that no one is coming to save me. In fact, no one can. Except myself”, he further added after around 45 seconds of silence.
“And is realising this – that no one is coming – a relief or a burden?”, I probed further.
“Surprisingly, it is a massive relief. Now, I can finally stop hiding, take RESPONSIBILITY for the actions that brought me where I am, and then CHOOSE my actions now based on where I want to go. It is a massive relief”, he said as he let out a long and audible out-breath.
This small little exchange was a pivotal moment in our coaching relationship.
It was like he became a totally different person after that.
In the six months since, he has totally transformed his life and the results he has produced have been magical.
More importantly, apart from the results, his experience of life has dramatically shifted.
Now, he has no obligations, stress, heaviness, overwhelms, or burden of the big challenges he has taken on as a leader. Instead, he is able to experience full commitment, joy, and freedom.
He is able to say YES and NO with ease, establish boundaries when required, and take out time for his family, health, and other passions without feeling guilty.
I will leave you with the below quote by Naval Ravikant for further reflection.
Doctors won’t make you healthy.
Nutritionists won’t make you slim.
Teachers won’t make you smart.
Gurus won’t make you calm.
Mentors won’t make you rich.
Trainers won’t make you fit.
Ultimately, you have to take responsibility.
Reply back with any insights or areas you identified where you need to stop hiding and start taking responsibility. Because no one is coming to save you. As no one can. Except yourself.
PS – I help leaders and entrepreneurs solve their biggest problems to achieve in 3 years what would normally take 10 years. I have only one spot remaining in 2022, and my 2023 slots are already open. To know more, send me a message.
Fascinating Articles & Stories
Why leaders need to resist the urge to fix everything
It’s better to coach your teams through challenges rather than immediately offer solutions.
Giving advice—even if it’s the wrong advice—often feels far more comfortable than the ambiguity of asking a question. But to get to the root of the real problem, or to drive innovation, they should stay curious longer before offering feedback or advice, and they can do this by asking good questions.
Coaching, or better yet, coach-like curiosity (slowing down a rush to action and advice-giving) can be woven into any conversation. It’s an awesome starting place, since staying curious longer and asking questions leads to clarity. And clarity makes ALL the difference in having an impact.
Five Insights To Improve Your Life
- Learn to have conversations that are direct and respectful and that drive positive change, rather than cause defensiveness
- You have to work to be open – to realize you don’t know everything, to embrace [the idea] that those around you have something to contribute, maybe even people you don’t know. The more open you are, the more you will learn.
- Most executives – most people, really – have no idea how they are perceived. They have a movie in their head that tells them what is going on, but the movie that everyone sees around them is really quite different
- You can’t be productive if you don’t know what work truly matters. Force yourself to sit down and define what meaningful work is, and then schedule time proactively to do it
- Being busy is no excuse for not having fun. Put time on the calendar to recharge which protects it from encroachment by the constant demands of work.
From an article on Forbes
My Favorite Five Books for Summer Reading
As the whole northern hemisphere is under a spell of heatwaves and unusually dry weather, here are 5 of my favourite books (with summaries) to take along with you on your summer holiday.
I am also enjoying a week-long silent retreat these days (I scheduled this email to go out last week).
- Developing the Leader Within You by John C Maxwell – Moving Up The Leadership Levels
- How To Discover Your True North? And Other Key Lessons from Bill George
- Turn the Ship Around – How David Marquet’s Leadership Turned Around A Nuclear-Powered Submarine’s Performance
- Reboot by Jerry Colonna – Looking Inward For Better Leadership
- Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek – From Hormones To Leadership
That’s it for now. If you have any questions or feedback, or if you are new and want to introduce yourself, hit reply. I read and respond to every reply. All the best,