January 2012

Are you Interested? or Are you Committed?

When one says he is committed to something, does it mean a trade? Does it mean that I will do this or that only if you do some other this or that? Does this commitment expect something in return from the other side? Will the commitment waver if one doesn’t get a response from the other side?

In my experiences over the years, I have realized that our aim should not, and cannot, be to make our commitment contingent on some external factor. If our commitment wavers because of a lack of response from the other side, then maybe that was not even commitment in the first place.

That is the difference between interest and commitment. If I am interested in some results, I will take steps to get that result. But it will be very easy to give up (in the case of interest) when circumstances turn averse or not as expected. We no longer see the interest getting fulfilled, so we have every reason to back out. Fair enough.

But a commitment is bigger, it is a promise you make to yourself (more than anybody else) and then there are no excuses, but only results that matter. For example, a mother has a commitment to her child, and she will even go hungry to feed her child. A mother doesn’t demand fairness from her son, she just loves her, for that is her commitment, irrespective of the situation or whatever obstacles life throws in front of her. As they say, any obstacle will have to go over her dead-body.

So how do we know if we are committed or just interested? Wait for the tough times as real commitment is only tested in the face of obstacles and conflicts, and that is what reveals the true character of all of us.

If we can let go of our attachment to the outcomes of our efforts and just focus on the fact that we are committed to doing our best, we are more likely to achieve success regardless of how the world shows up. It will always be tempting to give up when we don’t see the outcomes we expect, and that is the threshold of ‘interested‘ and beyond that, the world of ‘commitment‘ starts.

Every time we experience being upset, irritated or frustrated, we know our commitment is wavering. The question is, “Can we cross this threshold?“

And once we step into the world of commitment, we experience being calm, happy, at peace and confident, even in the face of harsh challenges. An interested person will get angry at an unexpected result, while a committed person will accept that fully, and take the next necessary action to stay committed to his goals without backing out.

If I reflect on my life, the times I thought were the toughest have given me the best lessons in life. I am really grateful for them for making me who I am today. These tough times have also taught me that we should not define success by the outcome of one’s results, but by the efforts being put in.

Being committed gives us the freedom of doing our best, yet be completely fine with the final result not being what we expected. No effort is a failure just because it doesn’t result in an expected outcome. It is a success if we gave our best!

If we notice carefully, this dilemma comes up in every area of our lives. Look at the things that frustrate you, or you got angry over? Were you interested or committed in that situation?

If commitment is present any setback would not last long. Be open to life’s little surprises, and experience its beauty when it does that. Allowing these surprises to happen without getting upset is one of the best things we can do to fulfill our commitments.

Interest vs Commitment

Jan 31, 2012
Bounce Like A Ball

What use is a ball which doesn't bounce? The same holds true for man

Pounce
On every gasp of wind!
Bounce
Like you have never sinned!!

Trounce
On all negativity around you!
Bounce
To make miracles come true!!

Renounce
Any pain and fear in your heart!
Bounce
Like every day is a new start!!

Denounce
All that is sad and unfair!
Bounce
And show the world you care!!

Announce
To the world who you are!
Bounce
Light all around like a star!!

Jan 26, 2012
Thank God It Is Monday

Most of the time we wait for Fridays, so much so that the phrase, “Thank God It’s Friday” is a popular slang used by people to welcome the weekend. But if we think deeply, it means we live our lives for just two days of the week and wait for this weekend from Monday to Friday… I would say a very negative way to live life where we believe that only two days out of seven are meant to enjoy life.

Don't let anybody else's definition of a Monday ruin a wonderful day today, create your own definition today

This phrase has become as much common as has “monday morning blues” which means monday is going to be another tough, boring day at work while the weekend is still away. It is often said that no one likes Mondays and it is very difficult to get out of bed on a Monday morning. And how do you think your Mondays will turn out when you wake up with such an attitude. Most often you will be late to office resisting that meeting or your boss, and everything starts to happen which you dreaded while waking up. Did you expect anything else to happen with such a defeatist attitude towards Mondays?

In different areas of our lives too, we have demarcated good and not-so-good periods which subconsciously affect our actions, even if we dont want them to… That is the power of language and the words we use in our lives. We say a lot of things without knowing and realizing that our words have tremendous power to shape reality. When we use phrases like Thank God It is Friday and Monday Morning Blues, we are unknowingly cursing our days.

Similarly, our words whether in spoken, written or in the form of thoughts have the power to transform the way we live, in a positive direction too. Using our words, we can instil hope, excitement, love and laughter in our days instead of fear, anger and hatred. So it is very important that we use the words we speak with care. Words can lift us up as well as drag us down. But the good news is that it is our choice how we want to use our words – to start new friendships or to start wars?

So as another week starts today, and another Monday awaits you. Go to work full of enthusiasm. Smile and greet everyone you meet today and give the gift of Monday to them too. Believe that you are going to do great work this week, and even the most difficult of tasks will seem easy.

Jan 23, 2012
Startups – The how and why to fighting and winning against stronger opponents?

I was never among the physically stronger kids during my childhood. And since fist-fights among kids are not uncommon, I had to devise other ways to tackle my opponents rather than relying on only my physical strengths. At times you get beaten up, but since you know you can’t overpower someone you start hitting the areas where they might be most vulnerable. Sometime you just wait and pass time while your opponent gets tired before you take your shot.

Starting and running a start-up is also the same, in many ways. Being matched up against competitors many times your size and weight, and that too in a market which is not always ‘fair‘, to put it gently. But as in my childhood, being placed against a bigger opponent can have its benefits too. You learn persistence and resourcefulness irrespective of your current situation. These challenges are what makes a startup interesting, and those who drive the thrill out of overcoming these challenges are the right people for a startup.

Why would anyone do that?
You can ask that why would anyone want to fight against a tougher and stronger opponent? Why would anyone want to do something where the chances of success are only minimal? Yes, it doesn’t make sense. This ‘WHY‘ is very difficult to explain in words, but those who do it know the answer somewhere inside. Maybe it is the same reason people cheer the underdog team when they win against a stronger opposition in sports? Maybe it is the same reason that we draw hope from those who fight against the norms for something they truly believe in? Despite of all the fears and challenges. Despite of the very minimal chance of success.

Coming back to entrepreneurship, maybe it is just in some people’s blood (as they say entrepreneurs are born and not made). But whatever it is, the likes of Steve Jobs, Lance Armstrong, Bill Gates and Anna Hazare felt it and at many different times, each one of us have also felt it. When we believe in something for which we are ready to put a lot at stake, we all become entrepreneurs in a way. Whether it is fighting for a cause, running a business, or expanding the boundaries of human performance!!

How would anyone do that?
– Perseverance and Resilience
When you win against a stronger opponent, you become more confident and fearless. But when you lose, you start working on your weaknesses and try to make use of the resources you have. You very well know you can’t afford and have all the resources your competitors have, so you try to make the best out of what you have. And by doing so, you develop such a wonderful skill which even your big competitors doesn’t have – the ability to survive tough times with resilience.

Mark Twain said it very rightly so

– Iterate
In the startup world, as George Patton said “A good plan today is better than the perfect plan tomorrow”, it is very important to act on incomplete information and in a world where uncertainty looms large. If you are doing something worthwhile, then you have to constantly go into uncharted territory, try new ideas, fail, then start again, and then fail again. And so on. As you have to expand yourself so much and step out of your comfort zone in doing so, you also have a steep learning curve.

– Use your ego, but with feet on the ground
Ego is not always bad. Doing a startup is basically believing in yourself when no-one else does, and when even you have your doubts. It is about the confidence that “I can do it, I will do it, even if I don’t have the resources or skills to do it“. It takes a man with ego to go up and stand against the world. But at the same time, you need to stay realistic and know your limitations. A healthy ego is not only required but also necessary to constantly expand yourself and to keep fighting every day, even after facing many defeats. A healthy ego doesn’t stop you from getting back up knowing you might get beaten again.

– Getting things done, despite of a hundred things which need your attention
Startups aren’t for everyone. In a startup you always have thousands of things to do, and you don’t have anybody to delegate to. You will have to do all kinds of things which are normally reserved for ‘other‘ people in a normal job. In short, there are no boundaries of work. You might be planning, designing, coding, doing marketing and sales calls, all in a day. What becomes most important in a startup is to get a task done, irrespective of whether it is above or below your pay scale, irrespective of whether you have done it before or not, irrespective of whether you know how to do it or not. If a client is visiting and your office is a mess, the first person who picks a broom to clean up is the best fit for that startup.

In the end, I think it is the fighting that matters and not the winning. It is the daily grind you go through which is the most important part, even more than actually beating a stronger opponent. As it has been told by many great leaders – “The journey is more important than the destination”. I will end with a quote by Marian Wright Edelman –
“You’re not obligated to win. You’re obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.”

Jan 17, 2012
Why I keep putting my fingers in the electric socket?

As a kid, I used to have a knack of putting my fingers in the electric sockets at home. Worse, as my parents have told me many times, I knew to turn on the switch before sliding my finger. My parents say they used to pull me, or block the sockets with tapes to prevent me getting electric shocks, but still I remember a few times I was left with burnt fingers. One incident which I very clearly remember is when I put two ends of a copper wire into a socket and turned the switch on. There were sparkles and cracking sounds which left me with black hands and shit scared. I think I escaped getting electrocuted that day because my little experiment took the fuse of the whole house with it. That was the LAST time I played with electric wires and sockets. Lesson well learnt.

So why am I telling you this story? Let me try to answer this with another question. Do you think my parents never told me that playing with electricity was dangerous? They did, but I never listened. Well, until that day when I had black fingers to show and a lot of sparkling to wreak havoc with the house fuse. But I never repeated the act after that. Because I had scars to show for my mistake and I have learned my lesson well.

I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it. – Carly Simon

So here is the point – The lessons we learn best are the ones those leave us with scars to show. Without the scar, there is no incident ingrained in our memory (like I remember this incident even after 25 years). Without the scar, it is like the event never happened. You can learn about things by reading books, watching videos or doing any alternate learning, but nothing can match learning by directly being in action. Because when you read a book, there are no consequences of a ‘mistake‘ you just read about, so in a way nothing was learnt at all. You can remember a book and its lessons for a few days, but you will never forget a lesson which has a personal imprint in your memory because it had consequences (a scar, a burnt hand, or whatever).

The habit to be safe looks good and noble on the outside, but it very dangerous. Let me explain why? Any lesson learnt from somebody else’s mistake makes you miss the most important part of learning, which is seeking answers to your questions. We all have numerous questions as a kid, but in an attempt to act safe, we rarely ask the questions when we grow up and miss the chance to become stronger and better prepared for the future. (that doesn’t mean you jump into fire to see if it is hot or not)

Lessons learned from a painful experience can hurt, but they are necessary. You can’t learn from a lecture how it feels to race your bike and then fall down on the road. Only when you feel the pain in your bones and see your blood when your skin scratches against the road, you will learn the lesson properly as there is pain, fear and you can feel your heart beats right to your core. No book can replace that feeling.

Why you should keep putting your fingers in the socket too?

There is a process of life – of trying something new, finding hurdles, getting hurt, trying again and then succeeding and moving on to bigger hurdles. Through this cycle only people change the world, start new companies, and do the unthinkable. Don’t break this cycle by reading about how to avoid getting hurt. Find your hurdles and then learn your lessons in overcoming it. That curiosity and desire within all of us is the seed of something big. When we act safe, we kill that seed and never give it a chance to blossom into a beautiful flower.

Let that seed grow. Stop being safe and expand the size of the tasks you take on. And it is not something we have to learn new, because as kids we all do that. We jump a distance, then try bigger and bigger distances. Obviously there will be some pain to feel and some scars to show. Do you have any scars to show which resulted in some achievement in your childhood? Do you have some stories revolving around your scars which you tell people with pride?

You are grown up now and are more mature. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t stop you from going out and playing bigger games. Get some new scars to be proud of, some new memories to share, and some new lessons for the future. You need to feel the pain as long you are alive. Without the pain, there is no joy. And without pain and joy, there is no life.

Jan 10, 2012
10 Things Not to Do in the New Year

I can without doubt say that 2011 was my best year ever, and I am grateful for a lot of things which happened this past year. As we all move ahead into the new year 2012, I want to list out ten things which we all should not do in the years and decades ahead. As human beings there are so many habits ingrained in our behavior which we don’t even realize. Some of these habits help us in moving forward, while others stop us from realizing our true potential. It takes a lot of conscious effort to break free of these habits or patterns. Hence this list of ten points below are those habits which I am going to stop doing –

1. Stop Running From Our Problems

It is very easy to shut our eyes during a problem, blame someone else or the situation and look in the other direction. In the new year, we should face these problems head on and stop running from them. We should aim to learn, adapt and solve the problems over a period of time. But we shall not close our eyes and assume the problem is no longer there. In the process, we will realize that we have become a better human being.

2. Stop Try Becoming What we are Not

Do you think you are stuck in the wrong job? Or are you trying very hard to please your parents or your spouse? Or are you working day and night to match up to your peers? Stop that. NOW. Each one of us is unique, and the sooner we realize that it is better. It makes no sense in trying to become a person that someone else wants us to be. Instead, let us realize our own uniqueness and do what we love and in the way we want to do it. Break these chains, and only then will we experience freedom.

Do you have Not To-Do list in 2012?

3. Stop Holding on to the Past

An event which happened one second ago is as much in the past as another which happened ten years ago. Whatever has happened is over and we never have any control over that? Good or bad, success or failure – past is past. Period. There is no point feeling guilty or repenting over past mistakes. Similarly, there is no point boasting over our past successes. What matters is what we are doing now… So let us stop living in the past in 2012, and take the steps to make the most of every moment.

4. Stop Being Scared

Pluck those ‘ifs‘ and ‘buts‘ out of your life (and your vocabulary) and act brave, for a change. Most of our fears are over estimated while at the same time we all have a tendency to under estimate our own capabilities. So stop being scared as nothing bad is going to happen to you if you go ahead with your dreams. The only thing that will happen is that you will feel alive, maybe a little discomfort as you expand your comfort zone, but you will experience what it is to really live.

5. Stop Wasting the Best Years of our Life

I am 28 now, and I know these are the best years of my life. This is the best time to do anything as the body is still young while the mind is mature and more wise from the past mistakes and lessons. So I am not going to waste these years working in a job which I don’t like. Don’t postpone your travel plans around the world (or any other dreams of yours) to a later time. Let me tell you, later never comes. Fix a date, and go do it. We can never get back any time we let go. So buckle up and do what you want before your body gives out.

6. Stop Waiting for Big Things

Are you waiting for that promotion, or for getting that big idea that will change your life? We all live our lives planning and dreaming about big success, but the real joy is in the small things while we move towards our goals. We must always aim big, but should never sacrifice happiness for achievement. The journey is the real reward and not as much the destination. So take a moment to realize the world around you, the people in your life, and make sure to give the best of yourself to everyone around you.

7. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Enough of feeling sorry or crappy about ourselves. Complaining and feeling we are not capable is a very easy way to escape our responsibilities. It only gives us a reason to not work and not being accountable for our own life. Instead realize that everything that happened has made you the person that you are, and so will everything in the future. Don’t have any regrets because life didn’t turn out for as we wanted, or a certain person didn’t act out as we expected. Only when we let go of the life that we have planned for ourselves we can be ready for the life waiting for us.

8. Stop Trying to Control Everything

We human beings take great joy in controlling things and situations. But life in its most inherent form has always been unpredictable. We have controlled a lot of things in the modern society for our ease and comfort, but trying to control everything is a futile exercise. We can never control (after an extent) how life will act out, and life’s beauty is in its unpredictability. Stop trying to second guess the future, because you will not be happy when life shocks you, which it will. In 2012, let us be ready with open arms for the surprises in life, both the positive and negative ones.

9. Stop Blaming Others

What has happened in our life, what we did or did not do, happened because of us and not because of any him, her or the situation. Let us take responsibility for our choices and decisions. We must always be ready for the consequences of our decisions and stop putting the blame on life or on someone else. Your life starts with YOU and it will end with YOU.

10. Stop Being Unthankful

Each day is a gift and nobody knows how many more we have. In the pursuit of our big dreams, we should never forget the joy of being alive. Be thankful of each day, of each breath we take, and of the various other small things in life which often go unnoticed. Say thanks to the people who have made a mark in our life and who we know will stand with us no matter what.

So make this new year count. It doesn’t matter if the previous years counted or not. It doesn’t matter whether we are young or old. The only thing that matters is the present moment, and your resolve to make it count. So go out, and do what you like. Make mistakes and learn from them. Enjoy the richness and beauty of the world, even if it means getting hurt sometimes. We all have only one life, and let’s not save anything for the next one. Happy New Year!!

Jan 3, 2012