There is so much we can learn from little boys and girls if we just observe them play, laugh and cry in their day to day activities. Recently I saw a little boy in a shopping mall with his parents. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he starts running and hugged the left leg of a girl coming from the opposite direction. The girl immediately smiled at seeing this little boy’s smile and innocence, and hugged him back and even lifted him in her arms. The parents looked a little embarrassed at first, but were smiling themselves soon.
A hug is a great gift – one size fits all, and it’s easy to exchange.
With the girl gone, the boy started looking for someone to run towards again. Sensing this, his dad said “Now no more running around, hold my hand and walk like a good boy.”
But before I could look anywhere else, he got his finger free from his father’s grip and starting running again. This time, he crashed into an elderly man who was talking over the phone to somebody, and looked a little tensed or worried.
“Get off me”, he said to the boy, but you know kids, and he held on.
“Leave uncle alone, you are hurting him”, said his father as he tried to take him away from the old man. He said sorry to the old man too, in the meanwhile.
“Ok, I have something here, I will call you later”, said the old man to whoever he was talking to. He then looked at the boy, waved his hand on the boy’s head and smiling at him, said “What is your name?”
Seeing the old man smiling, the boy loosened his grip, shied a little bit, muttered his name (which I couldn’t hear) and then again held his father’s hand and started walking.
Sometimes gestures can do more good than any combination of words coming out of our mouths. It seemed that this boy had a gift of hugs, and he went about distributing them to strangers, spreading smiles all around. The world would be a much better place, if we can also focus a little bit more on gestures of love than on words.
Sometimes back I wrote about why people are the best investment we can ever do. Today I was thinking of how simple it is to make a conscious effort to show people they matter to us. I came up with these 10 simple points to show the people in our life what they mean to us –
Very true
1. Ask for their opinion on something important to us. It will give us some valuable ideas and leave them feeling valued. 2. Thank him/her for something they did for us, now or in the past. 3. Show interest in their lives, and look if there is any way we can contribute. 4. Respect their time. Always be the first one to reach for a meeting. Never make them wait. 5. Don’t do anything else while talking to them directly or over the phone. Give them your full attention. 6. Apologize when you make a mistake. Ask what can you do to make it up to them? 7. Show your faith in them, even when they themselves don’t. Tell him/her – “I believe in you”. 8. Share your dreams, plans, crazy ideas with them. And listen to theirs. 9. Celebrate their successes and victories. 10. Make what is important to them, important to you
If you have to do only one thing, love people
Life is about relationships and not things. And a strong relationships is built day by day, like any strong building or organization. So let’s make daily efforts to show people that they are special and we care about them.
P.S. – These are not a set of tips we can use to manipulate others. Believe me, people are smart enough to sense out the fake from the real and genuine.
Jab We Met is a break from the normal movies we get year after year. It is a refreshing take on love and how to live life powered by sparkling performances by Shahid and Kareena. I think this is the best role Kareena has ever portrayed, and that has breathed life into the movie. Jab We Met is not only entertaining, it also has deep lessons about how to live our lives and has close resemblance to many of the problems we face in our daily lives and how we react to them. It is cute yet sensible, stupid yet enjoyable, and silly yet leaves a impression on you.
It is a break from vulgarity, senseless comedies and rona-dhona type movies that we are being fed these days, and some scenes and dialogues are just superb. This movie appealed to movie goers of all age groups and left a deep impression on many of them. Many of my friends (and I myself) have watched it multiple times. Like I have done with Peaceful Warrior and GroundHog Day, I am listing 5 big takeaways from Jab We Met…
Choose your decisions
Many times it happens that some decisions are forced upon us, or we are obliged to take them either to look good, or just to follow some norms or patterns. What this movie shows is how important it is to ‘choose‘ and accept these decisions at ours and devote ourselves and our energy fully into it. There is no point in doing something half heartedly only because that ‘you were pushed into it‘. Give yourself fully to what you are doing, or don’t do it at all. Period
Every decision has a consequence, accept that
Every decision you take (or choose not to take) will have its consequences. They could be good in case of success or bad (unexpected) in case of failures or unforeseen circumstances. We should always take full responsibility of our actions, whether positive or negative, and never run away from them. Running away is never a solution, like our adorable couple finds out in the movie. And accepting negative results doesn’t mean feeling sorry or guilty about that, it means learning our lessons and moving on with living life. Every moment spent repenting a past mistake is another mistake. So take full responsibility of your actions, and continue moving ahead and doing what you do best.
Enjoy every moment
I see life as one short journey on this earth, which has a start and an end. And we don’t know when the end will happen. So there is no point dying before the end (as Shahid Kapoor was shown living in the beginning of the movie). We all have only limited moments, and life is too short to waste even one moment on any kind of negative emotion like hate, guilt or anger. Kareena’s role in the first half of the movie is the best example of ‘Enjoying Every Moment‘ philosophy. She does what she likes to do, and in her own way. It might make her look stupid (being a complete chatterbox) sometimes, but who cares, as she is enjoying every moment and having real fun in life. I remember one dialogue – “Main Apni Favorite Hoo” (I am my favorite) which is the perfect example of loving yourself.
Don't PASS through life, LIVE it
Enjoy Loving Someone
When you love someone, it is not always necessary that they love you back. But if you turn off your love because of it, then I guess it was not even love in the first place. You can still enjoy loving the other person and doing / giving your best. Shahid Kapoor’s role in the movie is ample demonstration of that. After all, what could be better than seeing the one you love happy. They might not love you back, but that’s okay, as everyone is not so lucky. But that is no reason to stop loving someone and being deprived of that wonderful feeling. If you feel that it is not easy, then you just have to get bigger than your fears, insecurities and selfishness.
Don’t just PASS through life, LIVE it
Life will pass by even if we don’t do anything. We can either PASS through a smooth plane ride, or we can go out, take risks, breathe fully, maybe get some injuries in the process, and have one hell of a ride. Do what you LOVE, or don’t do it at all. Don’t say YES when you mean NO. Don’t do something and dream something else. I call this self-torture. Don’t put yourself to living this life of torture. I will summarize this point and end by this quote –
” Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a Ride! “
Recently I wrote about why is it very important to love ourselves and five ways to do so. While reflecting on the same topic today, I felt that there can’t be just five ways to love ourselves, there could be a million small ways to do so. Big or small, if you are really enjoying and “living” life, you can love and treat yourself in many different ways. Loving yourself is more than an activity or a series of steps, it is a way of living. Below are a few more ways to love yourself –
6. Enjoy the beauty in every moment
Every moment has some beauty which we often miss. Just look around, you might see two dogs playing on the street, and try to remember when was the last time you played that freely. Watch a mother holding her son’s hand in the mall, and remember to give your parents a hug every now and then. See your life as a gift to this world, use it to enrich the lives of people around you. Be worthwhile. Spread smiles. Spread cheers..
7. Give advice you give to others to yourself
Many times we give others advice about being healthy, staying motivated, having confidence in themselves but most often we miss giving that advice to ourselves when we need it. Never beat yourself up for what could have been a great relationship, or a business opportunity which did not materialize. Instead be grateful for what you have, and believe that there is something better waiting for you. Speak to yourself in the way you speak and advice other people in your life.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde
8. Ask for what people like about you
Ask people what they like about you. What are your strong points and good qualities? Don’t focus on improving your talents and skills too much. For a break, focus on and appreciate what you already have. Asking others for good in ourselves and listening to praise could be one of the toughest tasks (if you don’t believe me, try it). But it is also very important to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for the good you are continuously doing in life. And go watch the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” to fully grasp what I mean by this point.
9. Don’t let negative thoughts overcome you
Every time a negative thought comes in your mind, it is OK. Don’t try to fight it by saying, “This should not have happened”, “He should not have done this”, and so on. Neither should you beat yourself up by saying, “I should not be thinking this way”. Relax. Everything which is happening is ok. What you are thinking (positive or negative) is also ok. Don’t fight your negative thoughts. Instead, recognize them as part of your being, and then you will get over them. Try this to realize its power. Don’t resist things, let it be. And only then you can get over them and reach the next level.
10. Have some time alone
Try keeping some time just for you. I love to sit silent sometimes doing nothing, and if nothing else, I love going on long walks. It helps me reflect on the way my life has been going. Sometimes we just need to shut off all the noise of the world, all the comparisons, doubts, tensions about anything and experience the joy of being alive. You owe yourself that, and having some silent time only to yourself does just that.
Living life with passion is in itself a way to love oneself. Doing what you love and enjoy will fill your days with energy and excitement. So the next time you go out, treat yourself with an ice-cream or a treat you always cherished. Get drenched in the rain and feel the smell of the rain touching the earth. Forget about your TODO list and just BE happy. Talk to some old friends, listen to your favorite music, or just pick up a painting book and start painting.
When was the last time you did all that? It had been a long time, isn’t it? So go out, and be a superhero. Make magic. Be your own best friend.
Loving ourselves could be one of the most difficult task for many of us, yet it is very important and significant in our lives. All of us are unique in some talents and skills, and it is our duty to discover our talents and love ourselves for having them. Loving oneself is also related to self-esteem, self-confidence and self-respect sometimes. But it is not about loving oneself as an object, it is not about loving our body or anything physical. Loving oneself comes from within, so in that sense, self-love is more like an attitude and feeling.
The art of loving ourself begins with acceptance of what we are and what we are not. We then no longer seek happiness and fulfillment from people and objects in the outside world, but from within ourselves. It also does not mean being arrogant or over-confident or feeling better than anybody else. It means having a self-respect for ourself as a human being, a self-respect which is not dependent on external factors. Below are 5 simple ways to love oneself daily –
1. Acknowledge your efforts
When we do something good, very often we seek acknowledgement from others (normally higher authority) but often forget to acknowledge ourself for the wonderful work we have been putting in. So do it now, and do it daily. Acknowledge yourself for the effort you have been putting at work, acknowledge yourself for performing your duties as a son, father, mother, brother, and so on. Feel good about the good you are doing to the world.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde
2. No worries
There is never any point worrying about the past or the future. We all know this fact, yet sometimes we can’t stop ourselves from worrying. If we truly become independent of others’ behavior and how situations turn out, we will cease to worry. By worrying we loose the only moment we really have, the present moment. We should aim to enjoy the current moment to the maximum rather than worrying about what is not in our hands.
3. Forgive your mistakes, trust your abilities
We all are human beings, and we have all made mistakes. We might have lost a business opportunity, or we might have hurt some loved ones by our words. While it is human to make mistakes, it is also human to forgive ourselves and not feeling guilty about them, and move on with life. Because life moves ahead and not backwards, we should take the lessons from our past mistakes and trust our abilities to make better use of our time and opportunities that will come our way in the future.
4. Take breaks, relax
Life has become so fast paced these days that quite often we found ourselves so busy in our day to day activities that we loose track of time. Days turn to weeks and weeks to months before we realize the whole year has passed by. All this also leads to stress, tension and diseases due to an unhealthy lifestyle and habits like smoking and drinking. It is very important to take regular breaks to relax and just have some fun, either alone in reflection or spending some light moments with our friends and family. So take a leave every few weeks, just for relaxation, go out for a vacation once in a while, irrespective of how busy you are or how much your work demands of you.
5. Fun Fun Fun in everything you do
Life is one short journey, and yours will end too as it ends for everybody else. And everything you do revolves around people, whether at home, work or on the streets. So have fun at home by playing around with your kids. Have fun at work by not taking things too seriously. Spread smiles on the road by wishing everyone a good day. Count how many times you smile and laugh, and plot it on a graph. The upside of this graph is more important that the graph of your revenues and bottom lines.
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