Welcome to the Deploy Yourself Newsletter, where I share what impactful leadership looks like to show your own power. I also share the most insightful lessons and stories I encountered in the last two weeks. You can also read this issue online.
I want _ or I wish _ is NOT leadership. Find out what is
Leadership is choosing to commit to whatever it is you desire – moment by moment. Do you have the guts to do that?
“I wish I could…”
“I hope I can…”
“I want to…”
“I would like to….”
The above are common ways we describe when we express our desires for a particular result in life.
For example, I have caught myself thinking – “I want to increase my revenues by 10x next year” – a few times in the last 6 months.
However, wanting something is very different from choosing and committing – the two acts of courage we need to turn any desire into reality.
It is so easy to fool ourselves (subconsciously) by wanting something and then continuing our day as if nothing has changed.
This actually creates a negative mood of resentment and resignation over time as just wanting or wishing doesn’t change anything.
A key shift happens with my coachees when they move from hoping, wishing, and wanting to choosing and committing to what they desire.
It might look like a semantic difference of language, but it makes a big difference in our subconscious.
When I say, “I choose to increase my revenue 10x in a year”, I can not blame anything or anybody else (as it is my choice).
When I say, “I commit to increasing my revenue 10x in a year”, I can not ignore all the actions that I must take each passing moment but that I am not taking.
In other words, wanting or wishing is safe because we are still in our comfort zone – with our reasons and excuses as to why what we want is already not a reality or not possible.
When we move from wanting to choosing and committing, there is no space for reasons and excuses. There is no place to hide behind.
When you commit to producing an outcome in the future, all the discomfort is staring you in the face and asking, “Now what?”
Are you willing to stay with that discomfort which arises when you fully commit to a future outcome?
Are you willing to see the learning in that discomfort to grow yourself into a powerful leader?
Are you willing to make tough choices and stop hiding behind your reasons for not moving towards what you truly desire?
What is it that you need to say NO to – either people or time commitments – so that it frees you up for your commitment?
What is it that you need to say YES to – new conversations and actions – so that you make progress, even if hurts in the short term?
I know this is no small matter, and the journey from wanting something to committing to it can often be challenging and painful…
But this pain fades in comparison to the massive gaping hole you feel in your heart when you do not move forward towards what you know you deeply desire…
The good news is that the CHOICE is yours.
Moving from wanting to committing something is a choice – YOUR CHOICE. There is nothing right or wrong, and good or bad about either choosing it or not.
However, that is what leadership is – the CHOICE to COMMIT yourself moment by moment towards creating the future that you CHOOSE to create.
What such choices are awaiting you?
Where do you need to leap into the unknown? Reply back with any true desires which you have been holding back on. I read and respond to every reply.
PS – I have opened up all my coaching spots for 2023. There are 3 slots for leadership teams, and 11 spots for 1on1 coaching. If you sign up now, you get complimentary coaching for the rest of 2022 at no additional cost. They will all be gone before the end of the year.
If you want to explore, book a listening call with me where I ask a few questions and listen – to what you truly desire.
Fascinating Articles & Stories
Silence is your superpower
Silence forces us to notice our automatic thoughts — the ones we can’t help but think and habitually think, particularly, the ones that shine a cold light on our fears and insecurities.
Silence often wakes us up to the truth — truths that we may not want to acknowledge.
Amazing, inspiring, and life-giving truth can also be found in silence.
If that is not a superpower, I do not know what is.
How to mentor someone? Here are 7 techniques
Having a workplace mentor can help us feel like we’re getting somewhere, and like we have further to go.
This not only strengthens employee engagement but also impacts employee retention and can help reduce employee turnover.
Here are 7 techniques:
- Make space for failure and learning
- Respect who your employee is
- Have your mentee explain things to you
- Work to dismantle a sense of hierarchy
- Empower your mentee to take risks
- Ask questions to help guide them
- Take an active approach to being a mentor
We all have something to learn and having someone to encourage us, back us up, and give us a push when we need it makes all the difference.
Humble Inquiries on Teams – Part II
”If people do not feel there is enough space for them to be open either with their emotions, with their ideas or , just what is happening in their physical body, it will impact performance “
“Another thing that I’ve become so aware of in that is the value of actually declaring that there’s been a breakdown, whether that’s been a breakdown in communication or process procedure or even a breakdown in the team.”
“It’s also the commitment to not just doing more producing more results, but it’s also the commitment to the purpose, to the standards, to the values and to the ways of behaviour that the team has set. “
“Every team has a customer and are we really taking care of their concerns and producing value and sometimes doing more or being busy is not directly correlated to that.”
“I have seen people being very relaxed, very calm, not busy, and still producing more than what they were doing earlier”
“As leaders, it’s very important to be conscious of. What mood am I creating in my team? And is my language, is my tone of voice, is my physical posture, reflecting that accurately or not?”
“A high-performance team is not a checklist to go down. It’s a fluid, circular process. It’s like dancing. You might step on your partner’s feet every now and then or you might fumble a little bit. You just say I’m sorry. And how do we get back on track and keep rolling ahead? But it’s definitely not a checklist.”
The above are the show notes from the seventh episode of the Humble Inquiries series on the Choosing Leadership podcast, which I am co-hosting with Leslie Wireback. Listen to the sixth episode – where we talk about what makes a group of people a team…
In each episode of Humble Inquiries, we are deliberately going to put ourselves in the uncomfortable space of not knowing the answer and humbly inquiring about these challenges – with the aim to provoke new thoughts, actions, and practices – to help us better serve our coaching clients, and also to help the leader in you navigate the biggest challenges – at life and at work.
That’s it for now. If you have any questions or feedback, or if you are new and want to introduce yourself, hit reply. I read and respond to every reply. All the best,