Welcome to the Deploy Yourself Newsletter, where I share what impactful leadership looks like to show your own power. I also share the most insightful lessons and stories I encountered in the last two weeks. You can also read this issue online.
For the sake of what?
In the last few weeks, I have helped two leaders in a company overcome a conflict. When we started, both had their own approaches to a business challenge their company was facing. At the same time, both of them were stuck in their own point of view and could not move forward.
Worse, it had begun to impact their relationship and the wider culture in the organisation as both of them were leading 70-80 people orgs. As you might know, this happens all the time when people work together. And it (friction and different perspectives) is a good thing if handled well.
One of the reasons I love coaching teams is to help them see something they could not see before. A good question to start this exploration is – For the sake of what are you doing (or proposing to do) what you are doing (or proposing)?
I often stick around with this question for a few hours or days as we uncover layers of answers. What I am usually helping people see is what they care about on 3 levels-
- IT – The level where all problem statements, business challenges, projects, tasks, and deadlines are found.
- WE – The level where all relationships – with their history, expectations, emotions, and future possibilities are found.
- I – The level where your individual dignity, values, beliefs, emotions, past experiences, and habits are found.
Over the last few weeks, I have helped these two leaders go deeper on these 3 levels by exploring questions like
- For the sake of what are you even here? What does your business CARE about that both of you are part of this team?
- To create the above-identified business results, what kind of relationship do both of you aspire to have?
- Is it A vs B?
- Or is it, “A and B” vs “what the business CARES about”?
- For the sake of what are you proposing what you are proposing? Answer this on all 3 levels of IT (business), WE (relationship), and I (self).
It is so easy to talk about the IT – the business problems – without uncovering what is at stake on the relationship and personal level. And asking the “For the sake of what?” question uncovers that.
It is so easy to end up talking past each other or even in a state where you are not even talking – a lot of damage on the hidden layers of WE (relationship) and I (self), even if you achieve wonderful business results (IT).
I invite the reader to ask themselves the same question “for the sake of what” on these three levels which are always at play.
- For the sake of what external outcome am I doing what I am doing? What is it that I CARE about here?
- For the sake of what kind of future relationships (with those involved) am I doing what I am doing? Are my actions and behaviour aligned with what I CARE about in the kind of relationship I want to take care of the business outcomes?
- What personally matters to me? Why am I doing or proposing what I am? What do I most deeply CARE about?
When the answer to these questions (which are often unsaid and unheard) are spoken and listened to, it creates a safe space where all future leadership and results happen. It creates trust in teams, releases unexpressed desires and emotions, and people come closer together – even if they have different ideas.
And needless to say, business results skyrocket as people simply ‘click’ together. It improves their well-being, eliminates stress, and creates fun and laughter at work.
Now, who wouldn’t want that?
Reply back with any insights you might have on reading this.
PS – I help leaders and entrepreneurs solve their biggest problems to achieve in 3 years which would normally take 10 years. To know more, send me a message.
Fascinating Articles & Stories
How Matt, CEO of Panther.co, runs a fully-remote startup
This is how Matt and his team communicate across ~8 time zones.
- Async is the bedrock of a good communication system while remote. You simply can’t expect a global, fully-distributed team to be sitting on Zoom at odd hours. More importantly, meeting culture kills productivity.
- By creating communication norms, you can make sure everyone’s communicating the same way––and that people aren’t getting ripped out of deep work by meaningless notifications.
- Get better at writing. Most async communication happens in a written format.
- Get as close to 0 meetings as you can. Have meetings for the right reasons – for brainstorming, teambuilding, 1on1s, relationships, etc.
15 Powerful Centering Methods to Reduce Stress, Increase Focus, and Make Better Decisions
Learning how to center yourself is perhaps the most important skill most people never learn. This guide explains what the Center actually means and offers effective methods to help you find it.
You can train yourself to notice when you’re out of Center. Then, you can reclaim the Center, over and over again.
When you’re out of Center, one thing is certain: you’re not breathing properly.
The simplest way to get back to center is through focusing on your breathing. Just 3 or 4 deep, slow, quiet breaths from your belly can help bring you closer to the Center.
From an article by Scott Jeffrey
A Humble Inquiry on How to keep yourself motivated?
In this episode, Leslie joins me as my co-host to humbly inquire into how to keep oneself motivated as a leader. If we are not motivated ourselves, it shows its impact on everything we do and every responsibility we have. Leadership starts with finding and staying connected with our own motivation first. Below are some highlights from the episode.
- “if we get our body moving, it lifts our moods, it lifts our spirits.”
- “motivation is it’s it’s connecting to that fire, which is within you and then giving it a little bit of air so that it becomes like a flame”
- “going for a walking meeting together is a great way to combine a lot of what we’ve talked about when it comes to finding that motivation”
- “there is no such thing as a motivated or a demotivated person. There are only moments in which you are motivated and demotivated. And then every moment is a new opportunity,”
- “Motivation is not something which you can design or control. You can only create the conditions for motivation to happen, but not really directly motivate somebody.
- “if you don’t take a shower, that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or something is wrong. You just take a shower, if you wash your hands and they become dirty again, you simply wash your hands again. Similarly with motivation, right? If you’re not motivated or if you don’t feel that energy, it’s not like something is wrong or something is missing. You just shift. Connect with what motivates you and then you’re motivated again.”
Listen to the complete recording on the Choosing Leadership podcast
That’s it for now. If you have any questions or feedback, or if you are new and want to introduce yourself, hit reply. I read and respond to every reply. All the best,