*“How to”* questions focus on tactical, surface-level solutions rather than deep transformation. These questions imply that there’s a specific formula or step-by-step guide to solving complex leadership challenges. leadership isn’t about following a manual—it’s about shifting perspectives, developing emotional intelligence, and leading with authenticity in situations that are unpredictable and nuanced.
*Here’s why “how” questions miss the mark:*
*They Assume There’s One Right Way* : When you ask “how,” you’re looking for a fixed answer or a quick-fix solution. leadership is deeply personal. What works for one leader might not work for another because each leader’s context, personality, and challenges are unique. Asking “how” oversimplifies this complexity.
*They Avoid Self-Reflection:* True leadership growth comes from looking inward, identifying your values, strengths, blind spots, and mindset shifts. “How” questions bypass this inner exploration by seeking an external solution. For example, instead of asking, “How do I motivate my team?” a more powerful question is, “What is it about my leadership that may not be inspiring my team right now?”
*They Can Create Dependency:* “How” questions often reinforce the idea that someone else has all the answers, which can make a leader dependent on someone else’s guidance rather than trusting their own judgment and instincts. There is no handbook of leadership, even though everyone will give you theirs when you ask “how” questions.
*They Close Off Possibility:* Leadership is about navigating ambiguity and complexity. Asking “how” limits thinking to one route or solution – to what is already known or achieved in the past. It keeps us in the realm of incremental improvements rather than opening the door to disruptive, exponential growth.
In contrast, open-ended questions like “What’s possible?” or “What’s standing in my way?” expand thinking and open up a world of possibilities. aThese types of questions lead you into the realm of “what you do not know that you do not even know.” In leadership, this is the fertile ground where breakthroughs happen.
*They Focus on the Symptoms, Not the Root Cause:* “How” questions often address the immediate problem rather than exploring the deeper issue that’s causing it. If a CEO asks, “How do I improve team communication?” they can instead explore, “What beliefs or behaviors are currently hindering communication in the team?” This leads to more lasting change.
Many of the world’s greatest innovators, like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk, didn’t ask “how.” They asked questions like, “What if?” or “Why not?” These questions break the mold and allow creativity and visionary thinking to thrive.
Examples
Here’s a table that contrasts weak “how” questions with more powerful, expansive questions that unlock greater possibilities:
Weak “How” Questions
Powerful, Expansive Questions
How can I grow my business by 10% this year?
What’s possible if I remove all current limits on my business growth?
How do I get my team to meet their goals?
What would it take for my team to consistently exceed their goals?
How can I solve this problem?
What am I not seeing that could transform this situation entirely?
How do I become a better leader?
Who do I need to become to lead in ways that create exponential impact?
How do I scale my company?
What new markets or opportunities could 10x my company’s growth?
How can I motivate my team?
What kind of leader do I need to be to inspire my team to self-motivate?
How do I manage this challenge?
What’s standing in my way, and how can I leverage it as an advantage?
How can I improve my product?
What could I create that revolutionizes my industry?
How do I get more customers?
What untapped audience could I serve that I haven’t even considered?
How do I increase my efficiency?
What systemic changes would allow us to operate on a whole new level?
How do I handle this conflict?
What deeper issue or opportunity is this conflict revealing?
How can I make time for everything?
What truly matters, and how can I focus on that to maximize impact?
How do I manage my workload?
What am I doing that no longer serves me or the bigger vision?
How do I deal with competition?
What new paradigm can I create that makes competition irrelevant?
How do I prepare for next quarter’s results?
What bold moves can I make now that would disrupt next quarter’s expectations?
This contrast shows that while weak “how” questions tend to focus on specific, immediate tasks or problems, powerful questions invite broader thinking, challenge existing assumptions, and open up pathways to exponential growth.
Who Not How
The phrase “Who Not How” is a powerful mindset shift popularized by Dan Sullivan. This concept emphasizes the importance of focusing on who can help you achieve your goals rather than getting bogged down in the how of accomplishing them.
” How ” questions can indeed become a trap in certain situations, particularly when they focus too much on the process rather than the people involved.
“How” questions often lead to:
The Trap of “How” Questions
Overthinking : They can cause people to get bogged down in details and processes.
Limiting creativity : By focusing on the “how,” we may miss innovative solutions.
Overwhelm : Complex “how” questions can paralyze action due to perceived difficulty.
Individual burden : They can imply that the person being asked must solve the problem alone.
The Limitations of “How” Questions “How” questions can hinder leadership and growth in several ways:
Promotes Micromanagement : “How” questions often focus on specific processes or methods, which can lead leaders to become overly involved in day-to-day operations.
Limits Creativity : By focusing on the “how,” leaders may inadvertently restrict innovative thinking and problem-solving approaches.
Creates Dependency : When leaders constantly provide answers to “how” questions, it can create a culture of dependency where team members always look to the leader for solutions.
Narrows Perspective : “How” questions tend to focus on immediate solutions rather than encouraging broader, strategic thinking
The Power of “Who” Questions In contrast, “who” questions can unlock unlimited growth for leaders:
Encourages Delegation : By asking “who” questions, leaders shift their focus from processes to people, promoting effective delegation and empowerment.
Fosters Collaboration : “Who” questions naturally involve others in problem-solving, leading to more diverse perspectives and innovative solutions.
Develops Team Members : By identifying the right people for tasks, leaders can provide growth opportunities and develop their team’s skills.
Expands Networks : “Who” questions encourage leaders to look beyond their immediate circle, potentially uncovering valuable connections and resources.
Promotes Strategic Thinking : Instead of getting bogged down in details, “who” questions allow leaders to focus on high-level strategy and vision
Examples
Weak “How” Questions
Powerful “Who” Questions
How can I grow my business by 10% this year?
Who can help me achieve 10x growth this year?
How do I build a marketing strategy?
Who is the best marketing strategist I can partner with?
How can I scale my team without burnout?
Who can help me design a scalable and sustainable team structure?
How do I create more time in my schedule?
Who can I delegate tasks to that free up my time for higher value activities?
How can I improve my leadership skills?
Who can mentor me to become a more effective leader?
How do I solve this technical problem?
Who has the expertise to solve this technical problem quickly?
How can I motivate my team?
Who can provide insights on how to inspire and lead my team effectively?
How do I manage all these projects?
Who can take over managing these projects so I can focus on the big picture?
How do I get more sales leads?
Who is the best at generating high-quality leads that I can work with?
How can I raise capital for my business?
Who can connect me with investors or help me with fundraising?
How do I handle conflict in my team?
Who can help mediate and resolve conflicts effectively within my team?
How can I improve my product design?
Who is a product design expert that I can collaborate with?
How do I expand into new markets?
Who has experience in these markets that can guide our expansion?
How do I improve team communication?
Who is the right person to help implement better communication systems?
How can I innovate in my industry?
Who are the top innovators that I can learn from or partner with?
How do I manage my time better?
Who can help streamline my schedule and manage non-essential tasks for me?
This table illustrates how focusing on “who” instead of “how” allows leaders to leverage the strengths of others, enabling faster growth, more efficiency, and bigger breakthroughs.
In a recent conversation with the leadership team of a company, the core of our discussion centered on the essence of commitment and how it shapes our actions, defines our results, and ultimately, steers our lives. The conversation shed light on different aspects of commitment, the difference between promises and commitments, and the profound impact of living an intentional life.
Understanding Commitments vs Promises
Commitments and promises are often used interchangeably, but they hold distinct meanings. A promise is an assurance that one will do something or that a particular thing will happen. It’s specific with clear conditions of satisfaction. However, a promise can be conditional or even made without full sincerity. On the other hand, commitment is the energy and determination behind a promise – it’s the unwavering intention to fulfill the promise no matter what.
Types of Promises
We explored three types of promises:
Criminal Promise: A promise made with no intention of fulfillment.
Conditional Promise: A promise with hidden conditions that might prevent its fulfillment.
Committed Promise: A promise made with full dedication, where the person ensures its fulfillment, overcoming any obstacle.
Commitment in Action
Our session vividly illustrated how commitment is the driving force behind achieving tangible results. Here are key takeaways and real-life applications that were highlighted:
Result-Oriented Mindset: Your results reflect your true commitments. If you consistently show up late, it indicates you are committed to other priorities more than being on time. Altering your mindset to focus on desired outcomes can dramatically change your productivity and effectiveness.
No Conditions: Commitments is always with the mindset of “no matter what.” Whether it’s committing to a project deadline, a personal goal, or a promise to a client, approaching it with an unwavering resolve is commitment.
Clear Communication and Renegotiation: Life is unpredictable, and unforeseen circumstances arise. A key component of commitment is clear communication and the willingness to renegotiate terms to preserve trust and integrity. For example, if you cannot adhere to a promised timeline due to an unavoidable delay, informing the concerned party and proposing a new timeline is crucial.
Transformative Practice of Creating Yourself
The session emphasized the power of “I Am” declarations in creating one’s own BEING. Statements like “I am fearless,” “I am resourceful,” and “I am committed” aren’t just declarations; they shape our BEING and influence our actions and results. And we use such language to our detriment all day – examples are “I am weak”, “I am not ready”, “I am not enough”, etc.
Real-Life Applications of Commitment
Here are some anecdotal reflections from the session:
Professional Accountability: One participant shared their practice of daily goal-setting and reflection. This habit ensured they stayed on track with their professional commitments and communicated transparently with clients about any delays, thereby building trust.
Personal Integrity: Another participant reflected on how their commitments influenced their personal life, particularly with family. A commitment to spend a quality hour daily with their daughter became non-negotiable, highlighting the power of prioritizing commitments over excuses.
Why Are You Here? Discovering Your Mission
A thought-provoking part of the discussion was exploring our overarching mission in life. Questions like “Why are you here?” and “What is your mission?” are profound and pivotal. They invite us to align our daily actions with a larger purpose, enabling us to live a more meaningful and fulfilled life.
Steps to Embrace Commitment
Identify Key Commitments: Determine what you are genuinely committed to both professionally and personally. Write them down.
Make Unconditional Promises: Start differentiating between conditional promises and committed promises. Where possible, eliminate conditions and fully commit.
Communicate Clearly: Ensure all parties involved in your commitments are aware of your intentions. This maintains trust and clarity.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your commitments and adjust as necessary to stay aligned with your goals and values.
Practice “I Am” Statements: Daily speaking of your commitment and BEING will create who you are in each moment.
Conclusion
Commitment is a powerful catalyst for transforming intentions into reality. By recognizing the true essence of commitment, practicing clear communication, and aligning our actions with our values and goals, we can achieve remarkable results. Transform your promises into committed actions today and witness the extraordinary impact on your personal and professional life.
Leaders in every growing company face a common challenge: creating momentum and increasing revenue while maintaining integrity. The key isn’t in adding more strategies or increasing complexity—it’s about aligning actions with promises and ensuring that integrity is the foundation of every step. Without integrity, nothing works. Here’s how leaders can use it to create immediate momentum, increase profits, and cut costs.
Step 1: Challenge Vague Commitments
One of the biggest reasons teams fail is because their commitments are too soft. Leaders need to challenge vague agreements and hold people accountable for their “yes.” When a team member says “yes,” it must be a firm commitment, not a way to end a conversation or avoid conflict.
One of the most overlooked issues in companies is when team members say “yes” out of politeness or a desire to please their bosses or clients, without fully committing. Leaders must challenge these “polite yeses” to ensure that what’s being promised can actually be delivered.
Politeness and humility often come in the way here. We don’t want to seem rude or incapable, so we nod and agree. But these half-hearted commitments are the cracks in your team’s integrity. When politeness gets in the way, your team ends up overpromising and underdelivering.
Example:
Imagine a project where the marketing department promises to deliver a campaign by the end of the month. Everyone assumes it’s a done deal, but the marketing lead hasn’t nailed down all the resources. By the time the deadline approaches, the campaign isn’t ready, and the sales team scrambles to fill the gap. That “yes” was never solid. If leadership had challenged it, asking for clarity on available resources and potential bottlenecks, this could have been avoided.
Action: Make sure every “yes” is backed by clear, actionable steps. Ask follow-up questions like:
“Do you have the resources?”
“Are there any risks we need to know?”
“How confident are you in delivering this on time?”
“What do you need to make this happen?”
“What risks might prevent you from completing this?”
This way, you challenge ambiguity and turn it into concrete, dependable action. It’s uncomfortable, but integrity requires it.
Step 2: Stop Relying on Hope
Hope is not a strategy. Yet many leaders allow their teams to rely on hope when there’s uncertainty. Hope may give a temporary sense of comfort, but it doesn’t create results. You cannot build a business on “I hope this works.” Replace hope with action and certainty.
Example:
A tech company hopes its new product launch will meet customer expectations, but the feedback channels are weak. Instead of hoping the product works, they could have set up a structured feedback loop early on. By not relying on hope, they would have caught user concerns faster, saving them from bad reviews and a costly relaunch.
Action: In every meeting, challenge your team to stop using “hope” and focus on real actions. Ask:
“What are the concrete steps we’re taking to ensure this happens?”
“How are we monitoring progress?”
“What’s the backup plan if this doesn’t go as expected?”
This approach reduces risk and prevents costly surprises down the road. It forces your team to be accountable and proactive.
Step 3: Track Every Promise—Even the Small Ones
Promises get forgotten in the chaos of growing a business. One missed commitment can derail a project, frustrate a client, or cause unnecessary rework, which costs time and money. Leaders must implement a simple system to track promises made across teams and departments.
Example:
A software development company promises a client they’ll deliver a new feature by a certain date. But there’s no system in place to track this promise internally. When the deadline arrives, the feature is nowhere near ready. The client is angry, the team scrambles, and costly overtime hours are put in. If that promise had been properly tracked and followed up, this entire mess could have been avoided.
Action: Use a simple tool—whether it’s a spreadsheet, project management software, or even email—to track every commitment. Make sure there’s clear visibility on who is responsible, what the deadline is, and what needs to be done to follow through.
This keeps the team accountable and ensures that nothing slips through the cracks. The result? Less rework, happier clients, and reduced costs.
Step 4: Encourage Open Conversations About Overcommitment
Teams often overcommit, thinking it shows dedication or ambition. But overcommitting only leads to missed deadlines, burnt-out employees, and projects that don’t deliver results. Leaders need to create an environment where it’s okay to say, “I can’t take this on right now.”
Example:
A startup was on the verge of launching its new service, and the CEO asked everyone to pitch in. The head of operations took on additional tasks despite already being overloaded. As a result, mistakes were made, the launch was delayed, and the team had to fix costly errors. If there had been an open conversation about capacity, these mistakes could have been avoided.
Action: Create a culture where team members feel safe to speak up when they are overcommitted. Encourage honesty, and ask them questions like:
“Do you have the capacity to take this on?”
“What can we remove from your plate so you can focus on this?”
When you allow your team to have these conversations, you prevent burnout and ensure that projects are completed efficiently, saving both time and money.
Step 5: Model Integrity by Following Through on Your Commitments
As a leader, the quickest way to build momentum and drive performance is to model integrity yourself. This means keeping every commitment you make, or addressing it immediately if you can’t. When leaders are consistent in following through, it sets the tone for the entire organization. This is the cornerstone of trust.
Example:
Consider a CEO who makes big promises in all-hands meetings but rarely follows up on them. Over time, employees start to doubt his word, and morale plummets. But imagine if that same CEO was known for always keeping his word or directly addressing when he couldn’t. Trust would be built, teams would work harder, and the company would save time and energy spent on unnecessary follow-ups.
Action: As a leader, always keep your promises. If something changes and you can’t follow through, be transparent and clean up the situation. Say:
“I promised this, but things have changed. Here’s what I’m going to do to make it right.”
This builds trust and makes people more willing to give their best effort, which increases efficiency and productivity.
Questions to gently provoke you to see blind spots that are currently producing results in your life that you want to avoid:
Have I said “yes” to any requests because I didn’t want to seem incapable, even though I knew I couldn’t follow through?
Have I ever agreed to a timeline just to avoid confrontation, knowing that I had no intention of meeting it?
Have I ever said “I’ll try” instead of giving a clear commitment, leaving myself an escape route if things get tough?
Am I allowing myself to back out of commitments when a “better” opportunity comes along?
In what situations do I agree to things knowing I’ll probably back out or delay without communicating it clearly?
Am I spending more time fixing problems caused by broken promises than I would if I communicated openly from the start?
What opportunities have I lost because I failed to fully commit, opting instead to make conditional promises that I later dropped?
How much stress, anxiety, or guilt do I experience because of promises I’ve made but can’t or won’t keep?
In Conclusion: Integrity = Performance
Integrity isn’t just a nice-to-have value—it’s the foundation for success in any business. Without integrity, teams waste time, money, and energy. By challenging vague commitments, replacing hope with action, tracking promises, encouraging honest conversations about workload, and modeling integrity as a leader, you can generate immediate momentum, increase profits, and cut costs.
Integrity is not about being perfect. It’s about making clear, actionable promises and following through on them. When your team sees that integrity is non-negotiable, they will rise to the challenge. Performance will skyrocket, and your business will thrive.
Take Action Now:
Challenge the next “yes” you hear.
Eliminate hope from your team’s vocabulary.
Start tracking every promise, even the small ones.
Create a space for open conversations about overcommitment.
Model integrity in your own actions.
When integrity drives your decisions, everything else falls into place. Without it, nothing works.
If Your Hand Went Rogue? (an example I share often)
Imagine if your hand had a mind of its own. It moves when it wants, does what it feels like, and ignores your commands. You try to drink a glass of water, but the hand grabs a pen instead. You reach to shake someone’s hand, but it fumbles into your pocket.
This hand isn’t bad, but it’s no longer useful. It’s unpredictable. You can’t trust it. In fact, it causes more harm than good. Soon, you’d have no choice but to tie it down or, in extreme cases, consider removing it to stop the chaos it causes. The hand is no longer in integrity with the purpose it was designed for.
Now think of promises in your organization like that hand. When people make promises but don’t follow through, it’s like having a rogue hand. It’s not about being bad, but it makes the team or organization unworkable. A promise is a tool—when it’s out of integrity, the whole system starts to fail.
Just like you wouldn’t trust that hand, you can’t trust promises that aren’t kept. Deadlines get missed, projects fall apart, and trust erodes. The organization becomes less effective, like a body trying to function with a hand it can’t rely on.
When promises are out of integrity, the entire organization becomes less usable to the extent its promises are out of integrity. Productivity drops, frustration rises, and trust erodes. Just like the rogue hand, things fall apart.
To fix this, you don’t need to punish the person or cut them off from the team. You need to restore integrity. Have an honest conversation about what went wrong. Clear up the mess, and get back on track.
Let’s face it—there are things we all need to hear that nobody wants to say. As leaders, entrepreneurs, and high achievers, we like to think we’ve got it all figured out, but the truth is, we often get in our own way. This isn’t about blame, judgment, or criticism. It’s about waking you up to your own potential.
I’m not here to sugarcoat reality or tell you what you want to hear. I’m deliberately using language that’s provocative and direct (I guess I am becoming more and more Dutch by the day) because sometimes, that’s the only way to cut through the noise. This is not about me or arrogance—it’s about getting you to see what’s possible for you when you step up and own your role as a leader. So buckle up, and take these truths to heart.
And if one or all of the below truths doesn’t apply to you, ignore it and let it go. I am not here to convince, justify or prove anything. Consider the below as gentle provocations to help you see something of value that you might be missing. And if not, that’s already amazing.
1. Your Employees Aren’t Unmotivated—You’re Uninspiring.
When was the last time you made your team feel something beyond the grind? Motivation doesn’t come from forcing people to work harder; it comes from making them believe in a vision worth working for. If your team is dragging, ask yourself: are you leading with energy, passion, and a purpose they can rally around?
Personal Story: Early in my career, I used to think I had to be the toughest guy in the room. I’d push, push, push, and then wonder why my team wasn’t matching my intensity. It hit me one day when a team member said, “We don’t even know why we’re working this hard.” That was a wake-up call. I realized I was driving them but not leading them toward something meaningful. When I began sharing the bigger purpose and inviting them into the vision, everything changed. Suddenly, they weren’t just working hard—they were inspired to build something with me.
2. Your Team Isn’t Overworked—You’re Underleading.
The number of hours your team works doesn’t define their success. But if they’re burning out, constantly overwhelmed, and unclear on priorities, it’s not because they have too much work—it’s because you haven’t given them enough guidance. Leadership isn’t just delegating tasks; it’s about providing the clarity, direction, and support needed to make the load feel manageable.
Client Example: I was coaching a CEO who believed her team was on the verge of collapse from overwork. But when we dove deeper, it wasn’t the workload itself that was the issue. The team didn’t know where to focus their energy. They felt scattered, not overworked. Once she shifted her leadership to provide clear priorities and restructured the workload, the team started to thrive. It wasn’t about reducing tasks—it was about providing direction.
3. Your Customers Aren’t Demanding—You’re Underdelivering.
If your customers are constantly unsatisfied, they’re not the problem (unless you have the wrong customers you know you should say NO to). You are. Customers demand what they need. It’s your job to exceed those needs. Are you consistently showing up for them, or are you falling short? Don’t blame the market when you can control how you show up in it.
I once worked with a company that was getting frustrated with their clients for what they felt were “unreasonable” demands. But the truth was, the company had stopped innovating. Their product was behind the times, and the customers were just pushing for what should have been the standard. It took some hard reflection, but once the company stepped up its game, the complaints turned into praise.
4. Your Meetings Aren’t Pointless—You’re Making Them That Way.
We’ve all been in those mind-numbing meetings that suck the life out of us. But here’s the kicker: if your meetings are a waste of time, it’s because you haven’t made them purposeful. Every meeting should have a clear goal and leave people feeling more empowered, not drained. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Client Example: One of my clients, a founder, had meetings that always ran long, felt scattered, and frustrated everyone involved. When I asked him why he thought the meetings were necessary, he couldn’t give a concrete answer. We restructured his meetings around clear objectives with action items at the end of each one. The result? Meetings were cut in half, and productivity soared.
5. Your Business Isn’t Stagnating Because of the Market—It’s Because of Your Inaction.
Stop blaming the economy, competitors, or timing. If your business is stuck, it’s because you’re stuck. Growth doesn’t happen by waiting for the right conditions; it happens when you take bold, decisive action regardless of the external factors. The market will always have its ups and downs, but how you navigate it is entirely up to you.
Personal Story: I remember when I first left my tech career to start my coaching business, I was terrified. I found myself waiting for “the right time” to launch, blaming the market and my own doubts for the delay. But eventually, I realized I was the one holding myself back. Once I stopped waiting and took action, even imperfect action, my business started to take off. And guess what? The market didn’t change—I did.
6. Your Employees Don’t Resist Change—They Resist Poor Leadership.
People aren’t afraid of change—they’re afraid of chaos. If your team is pushing back on new initiatives, it’s not because they’re set in their ways. It’s because you haven’t communicated the why behind the change or made them feel safe during the transition. Change without leadership is just disruption.
Client Example: A tech company I worked with was rolling out a major software update, and their development team was resisting the change. The leadership thought it was just the team’s resistance to doing more work, but the real issue was a lack of understanding. Once the CEO sat down with the team to explain the vision and addressed their concerns, the team embraced the change wholeheartedly. The resistance wasn’t about the work—it was about the unknown.
7. Your Team’s Innovation Isn’t Lacking—Your Support Is.
Innovation doesn’t happen in a vacuum. If your team isn’t coming up with new ideas, it’s not because they’re not capable—it’s because they don’t feel supported. Are you fostering a culture where risk-taking is rewarded, or are people too afraid to fail because they don’t feel backed up by leadership?
Personal Story: I’ve seen this firsthand with my own teams in the past. Early on, I would give them a lot of autonomy but rarely provide the support or encouragement they needed. It wasn’t until one of my team members said, “We’re not sure what you expect from us,” that I realized I had failed to support their innovation. Once I started engaging more directly, their creativity and initiative flourished.
8. Your Projects Aren’t Failing Due to Complexity—They’re Failing Due to Your Lack of Clarity.
Complexity is part of the game, especially as your business grows. But if your projects are failing, it’s because you haven’t been clear about expectations, timelines, or outcomes. Don’t let complexity become an excuse for disorganization. Leaders thrive on complexity by bringing clarity into the chaos.Make things simple. Then multiply. You can not multiply a complex system.
9. Your Company Culture Isn’t Toxic Because of Them—It’s Toxic Because of You.
Toxic cultures don’t just happen. They’re the result of a lack of leadership. If your team is full of backstabbing, finger-pointing, and negativity, look in the mirror. You set the tone for the culture, whether you realize it or not. The good news? You also have the power to change it.
10. Your Goals Aren’t Unreachable—You’re Just Not Reaching.
Dreams don’t die because they’re too big; they die because you stop chasing them. If your goals feel unattainable, it’s because you’ve stopped pushing yourself. You’re more capable than you think. The only thing holding you back from achieving greatness is your willingness to go after it relentlessly.
This is not about blame—this is about waking you up to your potential. Every challenge you face has a solution, and that solution starts with you. You are the leader, the visionary, the one who sets the tone.
Once again, if one or all of the above truths don’t apply to you, ignore it and let it go. I am not here to convince, justify or prove anything to you. Consider the above as gentle provocations to help you see something of value that you might be missing. And if not, that’s already amazing.
“The new CEO is no good. Look at what he did in his previous company.”
While the above sentences don’t directly mention “responsibility”, all of them are blaming people for not taking responsibility for what they are accountable for. These kinds of statements are all too common in the world we live in today.
Most people talk about “responsibility” lightly, and it is thrown around in random conversations. It can cause a lot of blame, grudges, and grievances because someone else has not been “responsible”. Yet, when it comes to ourselves and our own responsibilities, we rarely stop to think about what “responsibility” means, what it demands from us, and what is the price of accepting responsibility or not.
In this article, I want to share my thoughts about what accepting responsibility means, and how accountability and responsibility are different – especially for leaders.
Years ago, I was approached by a colleague who wanted my help in setting up an alumni program for the company we were working for. Here is how the conversation went:-
I – “Why do you want to set up this program?”
He – “Because there is no such program for our alumni currently.”
I – “Has management given you this task to create such a program?”
He – “No, they haven’t. I hope to convince them soon though.”
I – “If the management is not interested, then why are you making this up?”
He – “I just told you – for our alumni to have a way to connect, support and help each other in the future.”
I – “If you are not responsible for this project, then why do you want to pick up this additional burden?”
He – “I have benefited from alumni networks of my previous companies. And it sucks when I see that we don’t have one. I am not accountable for creating this network, but I choose responsibility for it because this matters to me. It is not a burden, it is a choice and a privilege.”
What Is Accountability?
The above conversation led me to distinguish responsibility from accountability – which I have seen is confusing for most people. Accountability is simply being answerable for certain results which you have committed/promised to produce. Responsibility, on the other hand, is a choice. You can take (or choose) responsibility even without any agreement or promise.
Let me elaborate. When you take on a role or make an agreement, you are accountable for certain results and outcomes. For example – If you become a team leader at work, then you are accountable for all results the team produces, as well as other intangibles like culture, relationships, etc which impact and influence those results.
You can be accountable for something without accepting responsibility for it. I often meet people who are accountable for their team and its results, and yet they refuse to take full responsibility for it. They continue to blame others and act like a victim despite having made an explicit commitment towards producing those results.
Responsibility Is A Choice – To Respond Or To React
What is Responsibility?
Responsibility is our ability to respond to any given situation. And we always have this ability, though whether to use it or not remains our choice. To be responsible means to acknowledge that you are responsible “not” for the situation you find yourselves in, but for acting in the face of the situation.
Responsibility doesn’t mean you are “responsible” for all the situations, circumstances, and challenges in your life. However, it does mean that you choose to fix the situation and move in the direction of your desired results.
Embracing responsibility will demand a shift in behaviour compared to the normal way of doing things. When you understand what accepting responsibility means, you can’t make excuses or play the victim. Instead, it demands that you stand up and do whatever is needed to produce the results you have taken responsibility for.
Responsibility Is A Privilege And A Choice
Responsibility means looking at your contribution to the problem. Why do you have to do that? Well, you don’t. If you don’t want to. That is why I want to repeat that responsibility is a choice, and it is perfectly ok to not choose responsibility in a given situation. There is nothing wrong with not choosing responsibility. It is just not effective for leadership and producing results.
However, acknowledging that responsibility is a choice gives you the freedom and power to move forward despite the circumstances of your life. If I pick up my phone and drop it, it will fall on the ground. Why did the phone fell? Did it fell because of “gravity”? Or did it fell because I dropped it?
Both the above reasons are true. Taking responsibility is to choose the second answer. The phone fell because I dropped it. Yes, there is gravity, and it would not be wrong to say that the phone fell because of gravity. But at the same time, it would not be very powerful when it comes to taking action and doing something about it.
Acknowledging that the phone fell because you dropped it gives you the power to do something about it. That is what I mean by looking at your contribution to the problem. How did you contribute to the situation you find yourselves in? What could you have done earlier to prevent the situation? What could you do now to move towards creating the result you want to create?
While this may seem like a burden, responsibility is a privilege. It is not taking or accepting the “blame” for the situation. You are not responsible for the circumstances or situation you find yourself in. However, you can choose responsibility in the face of your circumstances.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
Responsibility is Results Oriented
You take responsibility to produce the results that matter to you. Not to look good or to prove you are a good leader. Not because it is the right or fair thing to do. Responsibility is always oriented towards a particular result you want to produce in the future. You choose responsibility because it will help you and your teams move toward that result. As simple as that.
In any given situation, we can choose what actions to take so that it moves us forward towards our desired results. Or we can choose those actions which come easily to us or are more comfortable to us and our peers. Responsibility is about accepting that you always have the choice to choose your actions. Responsibility allows you to do something to solve the problem.
Choosing responsibility doesn’t mean that you have to have all the answers. You do not have to know the entire way to the results you desire. Responsibility includes acknowledging uncertainty and finding the way to where you want to do. Responsibility means starting on a journey even when you don’t know the complete route to your destination.
Choosing responsibility also doesn’t mean that you become “heroic” and can now trump any challenge. Responsibility includes acknowledging your humanness and limitations. It includes asking for help when required, seeking an apology when you make a mistake, and renegotiating a previous commitment that you know will not be kept.
Are You Choosing Responsibility?
Responsibility is Always Unconditional (You Can’t Play Victim)
“Did you see what he just did? He just messed up the whole assembly line.”
“Let us help him identify his error and prevent production and supply chain problems down the line.”
“Wait. Why do you want to do that? We are not responsible for that. He messed it up. Let him pay the price.”
“It’s not about who is responsible. It is about who suffers in the future. If the production is delayed, then our customers suffer. Our company will suffer, and as a result, all of us (employees) will suffer. We must take action to avoid future problems.”
“But we didn’t cause the problem. It is not our fault.”
“You are right. And doing something about it doesn’t mean accepting responsibility for causing the problem. It just means that we do what is necessary now to create the results that we say we want in the future – which in this case is on-time delivery to our customers to keep our commitments.”
It is so easy to go into blame when things don’t go as expected or planned. Blame is part of the culture in many workplaces. When things go wrong, fingers are pointed as people look to escape responsibility (often subconsciously). Unfortunately, this could destroy opportunities for individual and team learning, growth, and success. However, if you accept responsibility, you can’t play the victim anymore.
It is important to clarify that accepting responsibility doesn’t mean you go on to blame yourself instead. No blame means you do not get to blame somebody else (your manager, wife, friend, colleague), something else (your company, traffic, circumstances), or yourself.
This means that when mistakes and setbacks happen, you have to take ownership of the results produced and not produced instead of passing the buck. Taking responsibility will put you on a path of problem-solving rather than an endless game of blame and guilt that offers no solutions. It will require you to identify what you can do now.
Pointing fingers rarely solves anything. The energy you waste by blaming others is better spent on finding solutions. When a leader plays the victim card, they risk being marginalized and ignored. Blame also leads to mistrust in the team. People don’t feel safe and have to constantly watch over their shoulders.
When you distance yourself by claiming that the situation was out of your control or it is not your job, you miss out on the opportunity to exercise your choice. You relinquish your power as a leader. There is no time for excuses when you choose responsibility as you would instead be looking for what to do next. Each time you take responsibility, you become better at exercising choice (to focus on the future and not the past) and inspire the rest of your team to do the same.
The Opposite of Responsibility – Blame and Judgement
Every time you blame others, you refuse to acknowledge your contribution to the problem. Blaming and judging others incentivizes people to deny ownership and inhibits learning and growth. The opposite of responsibility is not irresponsibility or indifference. The opposite of responsibility is accusing and blaming something else, someone else, or yourself.
Like a drug, blame only gives you temporary relief and then leaves you in a state of righteousness and inaction. It fails to address the problem from a long-term perspective and can even exacerbate the situation. In the worst-case scenario, it prevents the team from performing by creating distrust. Blame focuses on only the symptoms while it ignores the deep underlying problems.
Blame looks to simplify the situation by finding someone or something to blame when the reality of human interaction is much more complex and everyone plays a part in whatever failure or success a team achieves or not. Taking responsibility discourages the culture of blame and judgment and promotes introspection, growth, and learning.
Blame pulls people apart while taking responsibility brings them together. You not only boost your immediate performance but also contribute to improving your organization’s long-term health.
You Are A Bystander or A Victim When You Do Not Take Responsibility
If you do not choose responsibility then you are either a bystander or a victim. For example – If I am worried about climate change but decide not to take responsibility to make things better, then I am a bystander. Nobody is going to hold me accountable for climate change (as I have no official accountability for it).
However, if I have official accountability for managing climate change due to my position, for example, as a head of a state, then I become a victim if I do not choose responsibility for climate change. In an official role, people will hold me accountable for the results I have committed to or they expect me to deliver. The only choice I have is whether to choose responsibility or not. If I do not choose responsibility, I automatically become a victim.
Responsibility Requires You To Focus on the Future At All Times
After surveying thousands of people on the subject of leadership qualities, Barry Posner and Jim Kouzes found that forward-thinking is the most admired trait in leaders after honesty. Being responsible means focusing on the future and what you can do in the present moment to move your team/company towards the future you aspire.
Mistakes and setbacks are part of work-life and will happen along the way, but dwelling on the past distracts from the only thing you can impact – the present moment. Instead of wasting time and energy assigning blame, concentrate on learning from the mistakes and do what you can do to offer solutions to ensure the mistake doesn’t happen again.
Being responsible demands you to focus on the future and not endlessly stay stuck in thinking about what happened in the past – whether it was 5 minutes ago or 5 years ago. The past has a way of holding you back when you dwell on it for too long.
As Soren Kierkegaard once said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
Thinking about the future we want to create, and exploring ways to get there together with the team saves time that would have otherwise been lost blaming yourself or others. It also helps prevent similar problems in the future.
Where are we going? How will we get there? What do we need to do to move from point A to point B, given the state we are in currently? These are some of the questions you should ask yourself if you want to choose responsibility.
Choosing Responsibility
You Can Choose To Be Responsible For More Than What You Are Accountable For
You can always take responsibility for your team, department, or company even if you are just an individual contributor. Every team is bound to experience challenges along the journey. For example, when individuals with varying viewpoints, skills and knowledge come together, conflict is inevitable.
As a team member, you are not accountable for the entire team’s performance. That is the team leader’s accountability. But you can always choose that responsibility and act in the interest of the entire team. If you do that (and take care to not step on others’ feet while doing so), you will soon find yourself in the job you voluntarily choose to be responsible for.
Ask yourself – Where are you resigned or disempowered in your life? Where do you feel emotions like frustration, apathy, or a lack of engagement in your life? Whenever I ask myself this question, I find out that I am not taking responsibility where I feel a lack of energy or empowerment.
Ask yourself the above questions and see what emerges? Are you not taking responsibility in areas where you feel disempowered? What could be some alternate choices in those areas that could allow you to move towards the future, no matter how unlikely or difficult that might be? Responsibility is not having all the answers to fix what you face. It is about taking the next action that you can take in that direction.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
Final Thoughts
There will always be friction, no matter what you are trying to achieve. But it can either grind you down or give you energy. When you choose to be responsible, friction will never demotivate you. Instead, it will encourage you to learn, grow and set a high bar for yourself as well as for others around you.
Accepting responsibility for our actions is a choice. It often leads to joy, satisfaction, pride, and peace regardless of the outcome. When things are going as planned, you will be more satisfied knowing that your hard work had a role to play in it. Also, when things don’t work as expected, you will accept what is so, learn from the mistakes, and continue on the journey.
I have always taken pride in my analytical and logic-driven reasoning skills. As a child, I remember myself not being physically strong. Sports was never a priority in the culture I grew up in, and we never had the finances to focus on any sports training anyways. As a natural corollary of that, I focussed on reading and studies. I vividly remember falling in love with mathematics, and I could sometimes solve complex problems in my head. That was probably when I started living in my head and forgot that I also had a body.
This focus amplified when I stumbled into computer programming. The first time I used a computer, it was to program using BASIC and to play a game called DAVE. I must have been 13 years old back then. A few years later, my joy had no limits when my father bought a computer for me when I turned 15. It started a fascination with logic, reasoning, and programming that has shaped most of my work life.
If I was not good at sports earlier, I totally stopped doing any physical activity once I had a computer at home. I spend my nights and days learning to program and making small and large projects – first for myself and then for some small companies. I carried this analytical mindset with great pride wherever I went and never bothered to consider that I also have a body – except as a vehicle for my head and thinking brain.
Understanding Emotions Led Me To My Body
My learning and research around emotional intelligence led me to focus and notice my body. Have you ever experienced having “cold feet” or a “hair raising” experience? If yes, you are not alone as every emotion brings with it a physiological response in your body.
Our bodies react to external events first before our thinking brain has a chance to reflect on them. These responses might range from tension in your neck, back, or any other part of the body. For example – Sadness is associated with pain in the heart and numbness or stillness in the lower part of the body. Anger is associated with fast and shallow breathing and reddening of your face.
Other ways your body reacts to external events include your heart beating faster, turning pale, smiling, sighing, sweating, getting goosebumps, and so on. These physiological responses show that emotions are not only in our brains but that they have a presence and origin in the entire human body.
Noticing and becoming aware of our bodies becomes very relevant when it comes to communication skills as our words only constitute 7% of it. The rest of it is communicated via our tone of voice and our body. Do you notice small shifts in your and others’ bodies (gestures, hand movements, eye contact, facial expressions) while communicating? Do you notice the tone, volume, and fluency of voice change as different emotions play their part in the background?
Our body is not just there to carry our head. It is the source of everything we do
Discovering My Body At Newfield Network’s Coaching Program
In 2019, when I signed up for the Newfield Network’s Coaching Program, I discovered the role of our body in everything we do, and especially our leadership. Our body and associated physiology, our thoughts and language, and our emotions determine how we see the world, and every action we take henceforth.
Our language, emotions, and body are the coloured glasses we all wear and through which we view the world. And making changes in our language, emotions, and body are our access to see the world differently and open up new possibilities. Modern neuroscience has shown that the body influences the brain just as much as the brain influences the human body. If we get into a posture of confidence and put a smile on our faces, it is impossible to feel depressed. Alternately, if we get into a slouched and depressive posture, it is impossible to be cheerful and joyful.
It was at Newfield that I was introduced to the 4 body dispositions or archetypes. Before we talk about them, let’s understand the neutral state which is called the CENTER. Being in CENTER allows us to choose to move to any of the other 4 body dispositions. Being in CENTER is our foundational and grounded state as human beings. Center means we are aware of what is happening in our bodies. Are we tense or relaxed? Are we hot or cold? Are we balanced or not?
“Life is always better in your body. Get out of your mind.” ― Lebo Grand
The 4 Body Dispositions
The 4 Body Dispositions (see them as choices) are different ways we can shape our bodies. With each body disposition, we see the world in a different way, and it shapes every conversation we have. Unless we are aware of them, we usually are comfortable in only a few of these body dispositions. These 4 body dispositions are Resolution, Flexibility, Stability, and Openness.
Resolution is the body disposition when we are singularly focussed on getting something done. We feel tight and determined in our bodies, and are ready to take clear and decisive action. This is the disposition of a warrior.
This is a position when you are ready to sprint. You place one foot in front of the other and are ready to move ahead and take decisive action. This disposition also keeps you away from distractions as your vision is focused. We all use this disposition in times of emergencies and crises situations.
Flexibility is the body disposition when we are open to trying out new things and brainstorm new ideas. In this body disposition, we are moving our bodies, our hands and our feet as required. It can be said that in flexibility we are in a dance with what is happening around us. This is the disposition of a dancer or a magician.
In this disposition, we are playful and open to trying different approaches and seeing different perspectives. We are ready and open to moving from one idea to the other. We can listen and speculate with others, even if their views are very different from ours.
The 4 Body Dispositions
Stability is the body disposition when you feel grounded by the weight of your feet on the ground. Stability is standing in our own dignity, knowing what we stand for, and not be easily shaken or moved by what is happening around us. This is the disposition of a king or queen.
In this body disposition, we align our head, shoulders, hips and legs in a straight vertical line. You speak firmly and confidently in this disposition and are aware of your own standards and boundaries.
Openness is the body disposition when we open up our chests and arms in a warm embrace of what is in front of us. It is a disposition of vulnerability, tenderness, trust, and love. This is the disposition of a lover.
In this disposition, your eyes are soft and you make eye contact with whom you are speaking. Your smile is genuine and your voice soft. It is as if when you are inviting someone to your world with open arms.
These four body dispositions determine how we carry ourselves and how we use our bodies. By default, our body is shaped by our past life experiences and cultural influences. However, we all have the ability to change and shift our bodies, and with it the way we communicate and show up in the world.
Some of us might spend most of our time in resolution, while for some of us it would be openness. For me, before I discovered this work, I realised that I used to spend most of my time in Stability and Openness without moving into Resolution and Flexibility, even when it was required. Ask yourself :
In what body disposition do you spend most of your time?
In what body disposition would you like to be more in?
What new possibilities could open up for you from those new body dispositions?
The 4 Body Dispositions
The Relevance of Your Body To Leadership
As leaders, we should be committed to our responsibilities and our commitments rather than the way we are used to being. If a leader identifies themselves as goals-focussed (resolute) and a situation demands them to listen and be open to ideas, can they bring forth an open body in that situation? Alternatively, if a leader is always empathetic and open by nature, can they switch to a more resolute posture when the situation demands so?
Leaders need to think of themselves as not just their brains but the whole person – which includes all their emotions, conversations, and the foundation of it all – their body. Leadership presence is to be aware of your own body first and then of others around you.
Having the view that my personality/identity is fixed and can’t change is an immature way of leadership. Imagine how effective it would be to learn to shift your body, and with it your emotions and communication to suit the situation. Instead of being “one type” of leader, you could show up as the leader which your team and organisation needs at any given point. The question is – will your personal style and comfort level limit your leadership, or will you transcend your default body dispositions towards one of your choice?
Deepening My Awareness and Learning With Strozzi Institute
In 2021 as I write this, I am continuing to know more about our own body (with relation to leadership) from the Strozzi Institute. I am slowly discovering the difference between academic knowledge and embodied knowledge. I am learning that leadership is a full-body contact sport, rather than just an analytical or rational one. I am discovering what Richard Strozzi has written in his book The Leadership Dojo, “The body we are will be the type of leader we are”.
Painters have a brush, digital artists use Photoshop, and musicians have their instruments to produce their results. Similarly, leaders have language – to produce results in their teams and organisations via having verbal communication.
Ask yourself- What do leaders do all day? If you observe leaders operating during a workday via a neutral third party like a camera, you will only observe them having conversations. Leaders have conversations all day. Leaders get paid to have effective conversations. As a corollary, leaders produce all results through prior conversations. The results that work for them, the results that are ineffective, and the results that are totally missing, all are the result of prior conversations.
In the realm of leadership, words are not merely vehicles for communication—they are instruments of action and catalysts for change. The philosophy of language introduced by J.L. Austin and expanded by John Searle reveals a profound truth: when we speak, we do not simply describe reality; we actively shape it. This insight offers transformative potential for leaders seeking to make a meaningful difference in their organizations and in the world.
We normally don’t see language as the most important leadership “resource”. This is because normally language’s role is seen as only to describe and communicate. However, language does not only describe and help us communicate. Language generates and creates our world. Our verbal conversations determine and create our experiences, our emotions, our possibilities, our problems, our opportunities, and so on. If you ponder over this fact, the implications are staggering.
If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. ― Jim Rohn
The speech act theory was introduced by J.L. Austin (How to Do Things With Words, 1962) and later developed by J.R. Searle. Most of what I have learned about language and words as your most powerful leadership tool comes from the work done by them and developed further by people like Fernando Flores, Rafael Echeverria, Julio Olalla, Robert Dunham, and others. This new model considers the way we use words and language as a type of action rather than just a medium to share and express information.
In this article, I attempt to show how language is not just a passive activity but instead a very powerful tool for shaping our future. Since leaders shape their future and of their teams and organisation, I found this directly applicable to producing results as a leader. I have used this view of language to produce highly effective teams – both in my role as a leader in several IT companies and also in my role as a leadership coach with my coachees.
One of the quickest ways to improve your way of being is to change the words you use, to others and to yourself. When I say words, it includes the spoken words and the unspoken thoughts too. Just by changing the words we use, we can release a lot of tension and create joy. Speak words that profit others, depict hope, courage, and inspiration and create positive images. Then notice the difference in how your surroundings and people react. This includes and goes much beyond what we normally understand as verbal and nonverbal communication.
The Six Speech Acts
The speech acts theory says that every conversation that we have involves the below 6 speech acts. We always use these speech acts, though we might not be aware of the distinctions between them. As human beings, we can not not use them. They are:
Assertions,
Assessments,
Declarations,
Requests,
Offers and
Promises
Assertions
Assertions are the facts and events which we can objectively identify in the world. This would be something a camera would observe – just the raw facts without adding any interpretations or judgements over it. For example – His height is 165 cm, He came to the meeting 15 minutes late, She is the CEO of XYZ Corporation are all facts that can be verified as true or false. However, he is tall (or short), he is reliable (or not), and she is a good (or bad) leader are not facts. They are the speech act that follows below – Assessments.
Assertions describe something about the past or the present, and it is where language is most descriptive. It is the job of a leader to separate assertions from assessments. Leaders are paid to make the distinction between the two so that they can trust their decisions and not get lost in action arising from ungrounded assessments.
Assessments
Assessments are opinions, judgements, or interpretations of assertions. They are never true or false, as different people can interpret the same event another way. However, they can be grounded or ungrounded, which means finding enough evidence and reasons to trust an assessment.
Assessments reveal something about the one making the assessment. It reveals the lens through which we see and observe the world. Since assessments are subjective, you can always find someone with the opposite assessment as yours. Our assessments directly impact the way we see the world and how we act or do not act in the future, and in that sense, it is a “generative” use of language and verbal communication.
Examples of assessments are – “He is not disciplined, I am a slow learner, and she is so clumsy”. It is normal to confuse assertions with assessments. This confusion causes not only personal suffering but can also hurt individual and team performance in organisations. Making grounded assessments are directly related to the amount of value any leader offers in an organisation. Knowing which assessments are not helpful, and then dropping them, is one of the characteristics of a sound leader.
“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.”
― Alan W. Watts
Declarations
Declarations are a powerful leadership move because we create the world we see through our declarations. While we are describing the world when using assertions, we create and form our own reality when we use declarations. Declarations help us design the future, and that makes them a powerful leadership move. The below are examples of some declarations:-
You are guilty of the crime
You are fired
From now on, we will hire employees only after 5 rounds of interviews.
All men and women will be judged by their character rather than the colour of their skin.
We will put a man on the moon by the end of this decade.
“Whether you say you can, or say you can’t — either way, you are right!”
Think about the declarations you have consciously or subconsciously made in the past, and the impact it has had on your life? Think about a declaration which you can make which can transform your team or organisation? What is stopping you from making such a declaration?
Declarations are a powerful tool leaders use to create a new future and inspire people to take action towards realising that future. Leaders make declarations that will take them and their organisations where they want to go. Making powerful declarations might be uncomfortable and uneasy, but all leaders use the leverage of declarations to shift the current situation to where they want to take their teams and organisations.
Of all speech acts, declarations possess the most direct power to transform reality. When used with proper authority and in appropriate contexts, declarations instantly create new states of affairs.
When a board chair declares, “The motion passes,” when a CEO declares, “We are entering the healthcare market,” or when a team leader declares, “This project is now our top priority”—these declarations don’t describe change; they create it.
Leadership Applications:
Direction-setting: Make clear declarations about strategic priorities. (“I declare customer experience our primary focus for the coming year.”)
Status-changing: Use formal declarations to mark significant transitions. (“I hereby appoint you as the new project lead with full authority to make necessary decisions.”)
Crisis-managing: Make clarifying declarations during uncertainty. (“I declare this a situation requiring our emergency protocol, effective immediately.”)
Requests
Requests need no introduction. We make them every day – of ourselves and of others. Requests are how we get anything done in interpersonal relationships and communication. Every result you have today is a result of a request (or offer or promise) that you made previously. If you want to produce a result in your life that you currently desire, one question to ask yourself is – “What are the requests that I am not making to produce the result that I want?”
The ability to make clear, compelling requests is perhaps the most fundamental leadership skill. Effective requests don’t simply ask for action—they create the possibility for coordinated achievement that wouldn’t otherwise exist.
For example – “Can you help me?” is a very powerful request and yet so many leaders find it so difficult to make it because of the vulnerability it requires. Requests help us move forward. Every time we are stuck, the answer is in a request which you have not made yet.
A request creates a future that would not have happened otherwise. When you request your friend for a meeting, it creates a new future (the meeting) as soon as your friend says Yes. Requests propel future action. All of this may sound simple, but it is not trivial because while there is nothing new in making requests, so many of us are unaware of what makes a request effective or ineffective.
Effective requests have the below elements :
A committed speaker – Are you serious when making the request?
A committed listener – Is the person you are making the request to listening and committed?
Conditions of satisfaction – What are the exact requirements for the successful fulfilment of the request? Or have you left it vague or open to interpretation?
Time – As soon as possible, soon, urgently are not acceptable answers. Time has to be specific – like 9 am tomorrow, or by the end of day 20th September.
Context – Why are you making the request? What is the context behind it? Have you shared it with the listener?
How are you making the request? What is the mood and emotion behind the request? The same request when you are angry and when you are happy are two different requests, and will likely produce two different results.
Ineffective leaders make ambiguous requests, disguise commands as requests, or fail to establish clear conditions for satisfaction. Powerful requests respect autonomy while clearly articulating desired outcomes.
Offers
Offers are similar to requests except that you offer to do something for the other person rather than requesting them to do something. Both requests and offers become a Promise when the other person says YES. For example – “Can I prepare you tea?”, “Do you want me to finish the rest of the work?”, and “I can attend that meeting instead of you if you would like me to?” are all offers.
Offers propose potential actions or resources that the speaker is willing to provide to benefit others.
How Leaders Use Offers:
While requests seek action from others, offers extend possibilities. Leaders who master the art of making genuine offers create environments rich with opportunity and support.
Promises
We make a request or an offer with the intention of getting a trustworthy declaration “YES” from the other person. When an offer or a request is accepted, it becomes a promise. We swim in a sea of promises every day. Promises are what makes the world operate the way it does. On the other hand, any breakdown in coordination is also a result of weak and ineffective promises.
Promises commit the speaker to future courses of action, creating obligations and expectations.
Promises power all business organisations, all trade and purchases, and even simple actions like taking a vacation together involve a myriad of promises. Promises, when managed well, strengthen relationships, produce expected results, and can build a strong reputation. On the other hand, broken and mismanaged promises can lead to broken trust and relationships, breakdowns in results, and can destroy reputations.
When promises are broken, everybody involves pays a cost. The role of leadership involves making bold and trustworthy promises and also seeking reliable promises from your teams and peers. Our organisations and the world we live in can be seen as a network of promises, agreements, and commitments.
Every promise a leader makes or breaks shapes the environment of trust within their organization. Promises aren’t simply commitments to actions—they’re the fundamental building blocks of organizational integrity.
When a CEO promises that no layoffs will occur despite financial pressure, that promise doesn’t just predict the future—it creates a covenant that will either build or destroy trust depending on how it’s honored. When a team leader promises to support a risky initiative, that promise creates psychological safety that enables innovation.
Conclusion
Language allows us to not just verbally communicate but also reference the past and imagine and coordinate action for the future. In a way, language is the way we make the past and the future actionable in the present. Without language, we would have no way to imagine a future, inspire a vision, manage commitments, and coordinate successes and failures along the way.
Seen this way, language and the words we use become the most powerful tool we use as leaders to create all results in our life. It is through language that we create trust and strong relationships. It is through language that we manage complex and complicated projects. It is through language that we inspire and motivate others. Through language, we make all our results meaningful to us and the people around us. If you are a leader, language is your most powerful tool as a leader.
Through mastery of these six fundamental speech acts, leaders can move beyond mere communication to the active creation of new organizational and social realities.
The most influential leaders in history—from Martin Luther King Jr. to Steve Jobs, from Nelson Mandela to Angela Merkel—understood intuitively that words don’t just describe the world; they create it. Their assertions shaped how people understood reality. Their assessments established what mattered. Their requests mobilized action. Their offers created opportunity. Their promises built trust. And their declarations transformed institutions.
For those who aspire to make a meaningful difference in their organizations and in the world, developing mastery of these six speech acts isn’t merely a communication strategy—it’s the fundamental practice of leadership itself. In a very real sense, the leader’s voice doesn’t just describe the future; properly used, it creates it.
Every team is different as human beings are complex. And organizations can be even more complex. If the team members do not gel and work together effectively, problems can arise very quickly or they can slowly simmer under the surface. Talk about missed deadlines, infighting, declining productivity, poor customer service, etc. All of these have a bearing on the team’s output and the company’s bottom line.
Finding the right people is the first step in building a high-performing team. However, bringing several talented individuals together under one roof is not enough to make an effective team. So what can you do to ensure the group of people becomes an effective unit which works together? Here are 7 common attributes of highly effective teams, and how to build such a team?
1. Good Leadership
Leadership has less to do with positions and more to do with the ability to influence. Today, leadership is no longer reserved for those at the top. Everyone has within them the ability to become a leader in their own sphere.
Effective teams don’t necessarily have one great leader. Instead, they promote a culture of leadership. That doesn’t mean multiple people competing to become leaders. It is about each individual playing their part and supporting each other for the benefit of the team.
Every team needs a north star—a clear and shared vision. Each member should know the direction and purpose behind what they are doing. A team without a united vision is like a group of chickens with a lot of energy. They will continuously be busy running around but never make any progress.
Therefore, a team should first co-create the shared vision, objectives, and outcomes before undertaking a project. Moreover, the vision should be restated often. It is not enough to engrain it on the door or post it on the website.
According to research by Rungway, 52% of employees don’t know their company’s vision. The same research shows employees want to be involved more in actualizing the company’s vision and values. Even when working on different facets of a project, team members should know the end goal.
When the team is involved in setting goals and objectives, they are more willing to rally behind them. As John F. Kennedy noted, “Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction”.
It is hard to focus when multiple needs are competing for your attention. And when the team is overloaded with tasks, chances are that people will struggle with one thing or another. With so many buttons to push and levers to pull, the team can get easily frustrated.
Do You Know Your Own and Your Team’s True North?
Highly effective teams navigate these muddy waters by focusing and prioritizing. Establishing priorities ensures that set goals are met on time. Unfortunately, it is human nature to want to accomplish everything at the same time. However, that is a surefire way of producing shoddy work.
Instead, it is better to prioritize your tasks according to their importance and urgency. That will involve listing down all your goals, and then deciding how long you would like to spend on each goal.
However, keep in mind that goals are not the actual actions taken, but rather the metrics you intend on hitting. Those metrics are what allow you to know whether the team is moving in the right direction. As such, to get closer to achieving those metrics, you must determine what projects need to be fulfilled first to get there.
So, how do you go about prioritizing projects?
Simply choose the 3 most important priorities and start working on them. People work better with clear and attainable goals. Therefore, choose 3 projects that will allow you to make a significant advancement towards a longer-term goal, and then set deadlines for their completion.
By putting the team’s focus on a few defined priorities, you will evade the all-too-common syndrome of spreading yourself thin trying to accomplish everything at the same time.
A good leader also understands the critical role shared values, standards, and boundaries play in the development of a high-performing team. This is because it is impossible to sustain high-performance standards without shared values.
Shared values ensure that your team does not always depend on you or policies to tell them what to do. Those values guide their behavior. The former EVP at Advanced Micro Devices, Tim McCoy, put it best, “values tell you what to do when you do not know what to do.”
A good example of how shared values can have a monumental impact on a team’s success is the Mayo Clinic. During the Civil War, a group of individuals known as the “Mayo Family” formed a medical practice whose entire operation was guided by two primary values:
The only interest to be considered is the patient’s best interests
Nobody is big or good enough to be independent of others
Guided by those values, the Mayo Clinic has gone on to become one of the world’s most reputable nonprofit hospital systems, with a net worth of around $17 billion.
Collaborate with your team to develop a set of values and standards to uphold. Those values should act as moral and operational compasses. In other words, they should guide the behaviors of the team.
In addition to shared values and standards, it is crucial to establish boundaries within the team. Boundaries prevent conflict within the team. Conflict (not disagreement, which is natural and healthy) is one of the biggest deterrents to productivity. With boundaries, everyone knows what is considered acceptable behavior, and what is not.
One of the most critical benefits of setting boundaries is the clear expectations that come with it. When everyone knows what is considered acceptable, they are more likely to uphold those standards.
Do you know your values? Does your team know theirs?
2. Working Together and Collaborating
It might look safe to work with people who don’t ask a lot of questions. Effective teams understand that such behavior hinders collaboration. Instead, successful teams embrace challenging each other in a space of trust and psychological safety.
Good teams focus on tackling the problems together. They share knowledge across different departments, which enables the organization to adopt a unified approach in handling issues.
Collaboration brings unique skill sets and mindsets together to create a team that can overcome any obstacles together. A highly effective team understands and leverages each individual member’s strengths to create momentum.
Highly effective teams understand that friction is natural when working with others. They welcome the friction and use its energy to enhance relationships and improve productivity rather than the other way around. Strong teams work together rather than against each other.
3. Performing Team Rituals
Outside the workplace, rituals are often used to unite, motivate and rally people behind a common cause. A good example is an annual family holiday that brings everyone together. Rituals also have a place in the organization.
Apart from defining the team’s culture, they increase employee engagement and help create lasting bonds between individual members.
Employees in an organization work together for more than eight hours a day. That means they see and spend more time with their colleagues than they do with friends and family. It is imperative that they build strong bonds when working and also in their social lives.
Celebrating rituals such as birthdays by bringing a cake and holding parties is a great way to create and foster long-lasting bonds.
Many organizations insist that fun is ingrained in their culture. But many often struggle to create an environment where workers are truly happy. Like everything else, fun needs to be structured. Otherwise, it will get lost in the busyness of daily life.
Think about lunch outings, comedy nights, and beach days. A team that has fun together is more productive. That’s because work is likely to be less stressful and frustrating when you are having fun. Downtime decreases and job satisfaction and loyalty increases with fun.
Apart from celebrating wins and forging lasting relationships, some rituals also promote growth. For instance, having regular brainstorming or knowledge-sharing sessions enables each member to share their skills and talents.
Participating in weakly share-outs, team-bonding events, and daily scrums can also help the team become more productive, creative, and adaptable.
Do people feel safe enough to be vulnerable and collaborate freely?
4. Safe Environment
According to a study by Google, psychological safety is one of the most vital dynamics that sets effective teams apart. Employees should be free to be who they are. And they should share their ideas and opinions without feeling insecure or afraid.
When a team member shares an idea in a meeting or opens up to a colleague about a bad experience, they are taking risks. Therefore, they need to feel safe enough to take the risk. If they can’t open up, they will end up putting a mask at work. Doing so drains a lot of productive energy which could otherwise be used for productive work.
Individuals should be able to ask questions without feeling lost. Granted, it is natural to want to protect one’s personal image. After all, no one wants to look like a fool in front of colleagues. However, when there is psychological safety, everyone supports you. When everyone feels free to look like a fool, there is so much possibility of awareness about matters which are otherwise never spoken about.
Even in the face of disagreements, everyone in an effective team knows they are on the same side. It is easier to share ideas, admit to mistakes, collaborate, and resolve any underlying conflicts. Consequently, it makes the team more productive.
With technological growth and increasing pressure to perform, people are finding it hard to make personal connections and friendships in the workplace. In fact, there is growing disconnectedness.
The importance of meaningful connections and deep conversations cannot be overstated. Research has demonstrated that having high-quality connections in the workplace leads to more creativity and resilience.
5. Open, Honest, and Trust-Filled Communication
Although the advent of technology has made communication faster, it has led to an information overload that has made it harder to communicate. Nowadays, you have to sift through countless emails and attend regular meetings to get information.
The annual total estimated cost of poor communication in the corporate scene is as high as $37 billion. Such losses can be mitigated by fostering honest communication. Open dialogue is the only way a team can achieve more than the sum of its parts.
Open communication allows everyone to have a voice. When employees know their opinion counts, they feel a great sense of ownership. They are also more willing to positively contribute to the organization’s success. The manner and frequency of communication also matter. The more freely and often the team communicates the more comfortable people are in sharing their ideas and insights.
It is through communication that ideas are birthed and nurtured. A team where members are not communicating encourages wrong assumptions. That’s because everyone is forced to join the dots alone.
As a result, many arrive at the wrong conclusions. For instance, when discussing growth, some may be thinking about market share while others may be referring to revenue. It is only through open communication that such differences can be brought to light.
Sometimes communicating means offering constructive criticism. Highly effective teams create an environment that encourages members to offer honest feedback. Although nobody likes to be criticized, there is no learning without honest feedback. And in a safe environment, feedback doesn’t look like a threat.
Don’t make people wear emotional armor at work
6. They Embrace Empathy
A team that cares for each other performs better. And highly effective teams value empathetic listening and compassionate conversations.
Often in movies, when the ship goes down, the captain and crew are ready to sacrifice their lives to save others. That is only possible because they know they are part of something bigger than themselves.
Likewise, in highly effective teams employees are willing to come together and take one for the team. They shelve their own self-interests and put the needs of the organization and their team ahead of their own. And that is only possible with empathy and care for others.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is a deep and compassionate understanding of what others are going through.
Without empathy, organizations and individuals run the risk of becoming too self-absorbed. This can affect all aspects of the business and the team’s productivity as well as their well-being.
According to a study by Google called Project Oxygen, employees prefer managers who care about their well-being than those with technical skills. When leaders and team members embrace empathy, everybody feels appreciated and valued.
Consequently, this creates trust and fosters high performance among individuals. Although it is not natural for most people to generate empathy, it is an emotional competence that anyone can learn.
Real Diversity Is When People Think Differently
7. Diverse Team Composition
One of the greatest advantages of working as a team is being around people with varying skills and talents. It doesn’t matter who does what, so long as the team has all the right skills. Highly effective teams include a diverse set of people who complement one another in talent, thinking, and personalities.
Diversity is not only about gender, ethnicity, and skin color. Real diversity is having people in the team who think and act differently. People who don’t just look different, but are so from the inside. When such people come together in a safe environment where they feel safe to speak up, wonders can happen.
A team’s main priority is to achieve the organization’s goals and objectives. Therefore, having someone who makes the team great is more valuable than a great individual. No matter how skilled a person is, they are not important if they don’t contribute to the overall strengths of the team.
What exact roles belong on each team depends on what a team’s goals and purpose are. Highly effective teams create a platform where individuals can both absorb and teach. No matter how talented or experienced one is, there is always room for learning.
Working alongside other equally talented individuals in diverse fields is a great way to learn and share knowledge and skills.
Final Thoughts
To create a high-performing team, good leadership is paramount. Without a clear and set-out vision, a team will only be groping in the dark. Collaboration is also key. The silo mentality fails to capitalize on the advantages of pooling different skill sets together to tackle problems. Honest communication, team rituals, and embracing empathy help create a fertile ground for such collaboration. But it takes a diverse team composition to make any meaningful impact.
Building a successful team might sound simple, but implementing the above takes practice, which is not easy. To succeed, team members need to share and jointly own the team’s goals and objectives. They must also put the team’s needs ahead of their own. Moreover, everybody should be free to be who they are. They should feel safe to share their ideas and opinions without fear of judgment. As I said, simple, but not easy.
In recent times, there has been a drastic shift in how organizations around the world view 1-on-1 meetings. For a long time, communication between managers and their employees typically revolved around either occasional over-the-desk check-ins or group meetings.
Without a regularly scheduled 1-on-1 meeting, employees don’t have an option for expressing their concerns openly. Without one-on-one meetings, the manager also does not get to know their employee well enough.
However, changes in work culture in the 21st century have called for a shift in this trend. For example, more and more employees are seeking fulfilment from their jobs rather than just a salary. One-on-one meetings have been found to be one of the most effective ways of listening to people’s concerns, understanding them as individuals, and giving them opportunities for growth and fulfilment.
According to a Harvard Business Review report, employees who have limited one-to-one time with their managers tend to have higher disengagement rates compared to those who do. In fact, employees who get more one-on-ones with their bosses are 67% less likely to experience disengagement.
One-on-one conversations with your employees, therefore, are critical to boosting engagement and productivity in the workplace. When I first became a manager, having a 1-on-1 meeting was not even a strict requirement for my role. And now, I see managers being reprimanded for not having 1-on-1 meetings in companies regularly.
In this article, we will cover
Best practices and guidelines to follow when it comes to one-on-one meetings.
What is the purpose of one-to-one meetings
Questions to ask in one to one meetings
How Often Should You Have 1-on-1s?
Where should you have your one-on-one meetings?
Advantages of 1-on-1 meetings
How to Prepare for One to One Meetings
Common Misconceptions about One-on-One Meetings
General Guidelines
Before you head into any one-on-one meeting with an employee or subordinate, keep the following things in mind:
Do your homework well. Go well-prepared for the meeting. Review any notes from the past meetings, go over any action points to follow up, and go over the agenda if you have pre-decided that.
Go into the meeting devoid of any judgment, bias, or emotional overwhelm from how your day has gone so far. In fact, go into the meeting thinking of your employee as a superstar. Take a minute or two of silence and deep breathing before the meeting to ground yourself in your values, and enter into the meeting in a mood of relaxation and possibilities.
Do it at regular time intervals (weekly/bi-weekly). Do not wait for the quarter or the year to end to meet your employees. Do it regularly. Your people are your most important asset. Time spent with them is your best investment.
Be humble and polite. You work together, not against each other. Collaborate and communicate openly. If you have disagreements, welcome them and use the energy in them to create win-win results rather than conflict and friction.
Listen attentively so that you do not miss anything. Avoid potential distractions and give your full attention to your employee. Make eye contact and talk with the employee like he/she is the most important person in your life. Put your mobile, laptop, and other devices aside.
One-on-One Meetings – How To Prepare, Questions To Ask, And Other Best Practices
What Are 1on1s for? (Purpose)
One-on-ones are the regular conversations that a manager has with their employee. Essentially, they are meetings with a mix of formal and informal talk. They can happen anywhere and at any time. Experts recommend making them as frequent as possible.
Many leaders view these meetings as performance conversations and use them to get status updates. While one-on-ones are an excellent way of discussing goals and performance in real-time, they offer you a platform for achieving so much more, including:
1. To Know Your Employee Better by Asking Powerful Questions
As a leader, you expect your people to do their job. However, it is your job to provide them with the support they need to not only execute their tasks perfectly but also to reach their full potential.
Unfortunately, that can be difficult to achieve if you do not know your employees on an individual basis. This is why one-on-ones are necessary, as they allow you to have a good read of a person’s strengths, weaknesses, values, and principles.
For example, even among people with similar skill sets, you will find that they have different ways of working – because of their past experiences. Therefore, by finding out what excites each person, you will be able to delegate tasks more strategically, thus improving the team’s overall productivity.
In addition to allowing you to know your employees better, powerful questions show that you care for your employees, which, as mentioned, improves their engagement tremendously. Care comes first, engagement second. That is why I strongly believe that you have to be a good human being to be a good leader.
Consider asking the following powerfulquestions during your one-on-ones, in addition to whatever else you might have prepared:
What makes you stand out?
What do you do after work? What are your hobbies?
What are your highest priorities in life?
Where does work fit in?
What are your future aspirations?
What makes you special?
What are you most excited about?
What does success look like to you?
Do you feel that your work is recognised and valued?
What motivates you to work each day?
How often do you use your strengths at work?
What’re your preferred means of communication? How can we align best?
How can we work your challenges out together?
Is there anything blocking you?
Is any part of your job unclear or without transparency?
What could I do to help us work better?
What feedback do you have for me? Both positive and negative?
What could I be doing better as your leader?
What skills/areas would you like to improve upon?
What have you learned recently?
What can I do to make you more successful and happy?
How do you find your team?
Do you think we are headed in the right direction?
What’s the biggest problem we are facing?
What is the one opportunity for our company that we should not miss?
How do I know when you are annoyed?
What were your priorities since we last met?
How is your work/life balance?
What are your hobbies? Do you take time out for them?
Tell me about your weekend
Was this meeting helpful? How can we improve in the future?
Based on the answers, you will be in a better position to set them up on the best path to realizing their full potential. The only purpose of work doesn’t have to be to fulfil the team’s goals and increase productivity. Work can also be fulfilling, nourishing, and enriching for your people. The only question is – do you provide that opportunity or not?
Purpose of One on One Meetings
2. To Seek Valuable Feedback about Yourself and Your Management Style
Employee feedback is one of the most under-utilized tools by managers or team leaders. It is unfortunate that most leaders and managers fall prey to the idea that listening and accepting critical feedback is a weakness. Instead, it is the only way for you to grow.
Leaders who think of themselves as bosses, superior, or better usually also find it difficult to listen to critical feedback. They think their job is to tell their employees how to do their job.
However, such a mindset can be incredibly costly. How expensive, you ask? In a survey titled “The Cost of Poor Communications,” which involved over 400 companies and more than 100,000 employees, each company lost an average of $62.4 million per year to poor communication with employees.
The importance of seeking feedback from your team members can therefore not be overemphasized. Let go of the fear of being critiqued, as that fear will only wall you off from valuable input that could help you grow and change your perspective.
Therefore, during your one-on-ones, encourage the employee to share some input regarding what they think about your leadership style, as well as what they think you could do better. Of course, this does not mean that their feedback is a true reflection of your performance as a leader. But if you notice a recurring theme in the feedback from different employees, you will need to reflect on it and address any underlying issues.
Most importantly, asking for feedback tells your employees that their opinion is valued by the organization, and that goes a long way in boosting engagement.
3. To Build Trust and Strengthen the Relationship
According to a study by Gallup, people who have close friends at their workplace can be up to 7 times as engaged at work compared to those who do not. While this does not necessarily mean that you should become everyone’s BFF at work, the value of developing closer relationships with your employees is undeniable.
For starters, humans are social creatures, meaning that we thrive when we are close to those around us. Considering that the average human spends one-third of their lives at work, enhancing the quality of your relationships with your colleagues is not only important for better cooperation but also for enhancing the overall quality of your life.
When your employees are more comfortable around you, they will be more willing to listen to your ideas, in addition to voicing their own opinions and suggestions. This will create an environment where teamwork takes precedence over everything else, thus improving everyone’s productivity tremendously.
4. To Reinforce Important Values and Messages
Every company has core values that it holds dear. An organization’s core values are its lifeline, as they not only create an identity for the company but also attract individuals who share similar values.
It is important for leaders and managers to keep repeating and reinforcing these values so they people remember what they are working towards. According to Seetec, having a concrete set of core values is one of the best ways of keeping your employees motivated and engaged, hence resulting in better performance and productivity.
This is because when people believe in and respect the company’s values, they gain greater clarity regarding their role in the company. One-on-ones offer you the perfect platform for reinforcing these values. Remind them of any expectations, boundaries, or ethics that they are supposed to uphold in order to be in compliance with the organization’s values. At the same, acknowledge and celebrate people when they act according to the company’s values.
5. To Set Your Employee Up For Success in the Future (Personal Development)
I believe one of our main roles as leaders is to help people achieve their full potential. Therefore, use the one-on-ones to discuss the employee’s progress and career aspirations. To make these goals tangible, work together to create both short-term and long-term goals for the employee.
Short-term goals encompass the objectives the employees look to accomplish within a month or a quarter, while long-term goals are the strategic milestones they look to achieve within 6 months or a year. You can also create a vision for 5 years or even 20 years into the future. It can be tremendously powerful when done well.
The short-term goal is climbing the ladder of personal growth, while the long-term goals and vision help to ensure the ladder is leaning against the right wall. Long-term planning is more to set the direction rather than being specific. That is why it is ok if long-term goals are vague, but short-term goals work best when they are time-bound and specific.
How Often Should You Have 1-on-1s?
To some managers, having these meetings on a monthly basis sounds reasonable. However, when you consider all the activities that can happen at work in a month, you will find that four weeks are too long a time to wait.
For example, an employee might be experiencing a challenge, and it can quickly become a big issue if you address it a month later. On the other hand, the employee can accomplish several important milestones within a month if you can support and guide them along the way.
What’s more, if we assume that you are meeting them only once every month for an hour, you will only have spent a total of 12 hours together after one year. That is not nearly enough time to forge a good relationship with anyone.
So how much time should you dedicate to one-on-one meetings? There isn’t a definite answer to this question. Consider the following factors when deciding the appropriate frequency for your one-on-ones:
1. Team Size
If you are managing a team of five or less, consider meeting each member weekly or twice a month for 45-60 minutes. If you have more than five direct reports, you can shorten the length of those meetings to 30 minutes.
Don’t focus too much on the length of these meetings when you are starting out. The goal is to have a better understanding of your employees without burdening them with formalities. Therefore don’t make them longer than necessary.
2. Task-Relevant Maturity
If the employee is still new to their role, they will require more help and guidance than someone who has been on the job longer. With new team members, consider meeting them on a weekly basis. Experienced employees, on the other hand, can do with twice a month meetings.
3. How Frequently You Work with Them
Teams operate differently, with some working more closely than others do. If you rarely interact and work independently with people as part of your daily job, twice a month one-to-ones are more appropriate. On the other hand, if you work closely with your team members, a weekly one-to-one is a better fit.
One on One Meetings – Where To Have Them?
Mix it Up When it comes to Meeting Location
Now that you have chosen the frequency at which you will be meeting your employees for one-on-ones, you might probably be wondering about the ideal location to hold those meetings.
Whether it is having lunch together or going for a walk, it does not matter as long as you meet your objective – of creating a safe space where you can talk about anything openly and honestly. However, you do not want those meetings to feel like a chore to both of you. Therefore, consider trying out different settings.
The most common settings for one-on-ones with direct reports include:
1. Meeting at the Office
The benefit of holding one-on-one meetings at the office is the safe and quiet environment it provides you. It allows the person to be more comfortable, thus allowing them to express themselves more freely and privately.
Office meetings, however, do have their drawbacks. For example, it might feel too official, causing the employee to be more reserved than you would like. Office environments and cultures can become too toxic or negative, and that can shadow your whole conversation if you are not mindful about that.
2. Taking a Walk Outside
Holding a one-on-one outside while walking can be incredibly impactful. According to some studies, a person’s creativity can increase by up to 60% during walks. As such, you are more likely to have better conversations when you meet outside as compared to closed doors.
What’s more, walking eliminates the tension that typically comes with facing each other across the table. When the body is moving, it is easier to be flexible with ideas and opinions rather than getting stuck in arguments.
Another benefit of outdoor one-on-ones is they allow you to be comfortable with silence. Therefore, those moments where you both pause to think will not feel as awkward.
Meeting outside in the open also makes it easy to start casual conversations. Sometimes, it is those ‘filler’ conversations that end up being the most insightful and can reveal deep desires and motivations.
However, walking one-on-ones might not always be ideal. For example, you might keep running into people you know. If you feel like a walking meeting is a good option, consider doing it in a place with few distractions, such as a park. Avoid busy places with noise.
3. Meeting at a Restaurant or Coffee Shop
The main benefit of holding a one-on-one while eating or drinking coffee is that it makes you relate on a more personal level. Consider doing this if you are looking to know an employee better and willing to have a casual conversation.
The main issue with this meeting style, however, is that it can be too distracting. A cafeteria is not the ideal place to discuss sensitive issues or make strategic plans, so make sure you choose the meeting venue based on the agenda of the meeting.
One on One Meetings – The Best Tool For Managers
Advantages of 1-on-1s
Unfortunately, some managers still do not have one-on-one meetings frequently enough. They hold them only when it is unavoidable. Some even avoid them entirely.
Nevertheless, one-on-one meetings are extremely important. Below are a few reasons why you should have them regularly.
1. They Boost Productivity
One of the biggest reasons for having these kinds of meetings is their positive impact on work quality and productivity. It sounds like a paradox to me when a manager tells me he has no time for 1-on-1 meetings. My next question to them usually is “So you have no time to increase the productivity of your team?”
In his book, “High Output Management,” Andy Grove argues that meeting your employees regularly gives you the opportunity to not only coach them but also to help you develop a common information base, thus allowing the team to be in sync at all times leading to better results.
You have to remember that employees are not equal when it comes to prioritizing tasks, with some not having the necessary experience to know which tasks bring the highest ROI. By scheduling regular one-on-ones, therefore, you will be able to set clear priorities with all your people.
One-on-one meetings also boost your own productivity. This is because they allow you to address all the pertinent issues effectively, thus reducing the incidences of your direct reports popping in for a “quick question or an emergency.”
On his Managers Tools podcast, Mark Horstman says, “One of the first things you will notice once you start holding regular one-on-ones is the significant reduction in the number of questions that you receive per week. However, it is not because things are not running as they should, but people have learned that they can wait for the one-on-one to bring any queries to your attention.”
Buffer, Inc., the company behind the Buffer software application that provides social media accounts management tools, decided to get rid of their managers, suffering a tremendous blow in engagement and productivity in the process. They soon discovered that managers were not only necessary but also one-on-one meetings were incredibly effective in fixing things and improving productivity.
2. To Improve Employee Engagement and Forge Better Work Relationships
Building healthy relationships takes a while. For example, you cannot expect to have a good relationship with your significant other (or friend) if you rarely communicate. The same goes for work relationships; you need to see and talk to your employees regularly to build strong relationships.
Frequent one-on-one meetings are one of the best tools managers can use to build better relationships. In fact, one-on-ones have been found to be so effective that companies such as Adobe, Deloitte, IBM, and Microsoft have ditched their annual reviews, replacing them with frequent check-ins.
One-on-ones are also incredibly effective at boosting engagement and retention. According to a Gallup report, employees who meet with their managers regularly are up to three times more likely to be engaged in their work as compared to those who do not.
It comes as no surprise, therefore, that Ben Horowitz, CEO of Andreessen Horowitz (a Silicon Valley venture capital firm), was willing to fire two of his managers when he found out that they had not been conducting one-on-one meetings.
3. They Can Help You Identify and Address Problems Proactively
A one-on-one is one of the best tools you can use to identify potential problems, allowing you to solve them in time before they become an emergency.
Conflict between employees is bound to happen when people work together. However, if it is not solved in time, it can turn messy, impeding your team’s culture and productivity. One-on-one conversations allow you to pick up on any potential seeds of conflict, frustration, and disengagement.
If you are a leader or a manager, do not fit your 1-on-1 meetings in the rest of your work. Fit the rest of your work with your schedule for 1-on-1 meetings. They come first, not second to anything else you might consider “real work”.
Praise More Than Criticise
How to Prepare for One to One Meetings
Keep the following things in mind when preparing for a one-on-one with your employee:
Make it About Them
One of the main goals of a one-to-one meeting is to make your employees feel appreciated, in addition to getting to know them better. Therefore, the meeting’s talking points should be centered on them, discussing things such as:
How they feel about work
Challenges they are facing
Their suggestions on how to make the workplace better
Some employees are reserved or introverted, hesitating to open up. This is why you should ask employee-centric questions, as these will allow them to be more expressive.
Most importantly, however, be a good listener. A good listener is one that listens to understand, not to reply. Good listening skills are a sign of maturity and humility and allow you to pinpoint potential issues early. What’s more, showing genuine interest in your employees reveals to them that you care about their welfare, thus strengthening your bond.
Take Notes
Regardless of how good your listening skills are, there is always a chance that you might forget an important point or two. This is why it is good practice to take notes during or after the meeting.
Note down action points, what you talked about, and any issues to bring up the next time. Doing that will allow you to review the important discussion points before your next meeting, thus allowing you to address any issues in future meetings.
Be Open-Minded
If the conversation in a 1-on-1 meeting becomes somewhat casual, do not feel like it is inappropriate. Casual conversation lightens up the mood, allowing your employee to feel more relaxed.
Employees are more expressive when they are feeling comfortable. Besides, the goal is to establish healthier relationships and not just focus on results, projects, and deadlines. They go together, as you might have already realized if you have been leading people for a while.
Ask Them to Prepare an Agenda
It takes two to tango; therefore, ask people to prepare talking points for the meeting. Let them know that the one-on-one is their meeting with you, not yours with them.
Have Your Agenda As Well
The employee owns the 1-on-1 meeting, but make sure you add your points to the agenda as well. If important issues like career development, employee motivation, engagement, trust, progress on goals need discussion, make sure to bring them up.
De-Stress Before the Meeting
A one-on-one will be of no use if you are not in the right mood. You want your employee to know that you are genuinely glad that you are spending some time with them. That is what will get them to open up.
Therefore, consider taking a 2-minute silent break before the meeting to relax. Consider meditating or performing breathing exercises during that period if you are stressed out. When you walk into a 1-on-1 meeting, be ready to put your full attention on the person in front of you.
Enter the meeting thinking about your employee like a superhero.
Your meeting will be more fruitful if you go into the meeting with a positive mindset. In fact, be enthusiastic about the meeting, which is why it is critical that you first de-stress before heading into a one-on-one.
A positive, upbeat mood goes a long way in relieving any potential tension an employee might have when meeting their boss. It also would help tremendously if you gave them the same type of respect and attention that you give your colleagues or superiors.
Respecting people is not only good for engagement and productivity, it is also a human thing to do. It should not require any convincing from anyone for you to respect your employees. Treat them with respect and give them the attention they deserve.
Avoid distraction. Make Eye-Contact
Think about it, how would you feel if your manager barely looked at you during a one-on-one meeting? Chances are you would feel disrespected or insignificant even if nothing demeaning was said to you.
This is because eye contact is one of the most fundamental forms of body language. Maintaining eye contact when talking to someone indicates that you are not only paying attention but also that you care about what they have to say.
One of the biggest barriers to effective communication today is our phones, laptops, and other devices. While it might seem harmless, looking at your devices while talking to someone is incredibly disrespectful. Avoid such subtle and often unintended signs of disrespect.
Leave on a Positive Note
As mentioned, one of the primary reasons for doing one-on-ones is to improve employee engagement. A one-on-one achieves that by bridging the gap between managers and their employees. Therefore, it is crucial that the meeting ends on a positive note.
Even if you have to deliver bad news or bring up a difficult issue, frame that as a learning opportunity for both yourself and your employee in the meeting. Mistakes and failures can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It is your responsibility to help people see seemingly bad outcomes as a stepping stone for them.
Take Care Of People
Common Misconceptions about One-on-One Meetings
The following are 3 common misconceptions about one-on-ones.
1. One-on-Ones are Easy
If you have never held a one-on-one before, you might assume that they are easy since all you have to do is talk. However, dealing with different people and their problems and emotions can be challenging and might even be frustrating at times.
As with any other skill, listening and effective communication takes time to master. Therefore, even though the first few one-on-ones might feel awkward, keep going. Invest in your learning and learn to coach by asking better questions. You will soon get the hang of it.
2. They Might Breed Unrealistic Expectations
Considering how employee-centric these meetings are, some managers fear that they might breed unrealistic expectations. They start asking questions such as, “What if the employees start asking for things we cannot deliver?”
Nonetheless, that should not stop you from holding one-on-ones. The goal of the meeting is to clarify expectations. Both parties get to communicate what they want or expect from one another. Therefore, let your employees know that they can always make their needs known. However, not all of them can be met. Be open, honest, and straight.
It is not your job as a manager to say nice things to your employees. It is your job to care for them and to ensure their growth, productivity, and development. Don’t beat around the bush. If you have something to say, say it the way it is.
3. The Manager Should Have it All Figured Out
Managers often stress themselves up thinking that they should have all the answers. Nonetheless, that should not be the case, as you are human after all. Answer what you can while promising to look into what you do not know.
Even if you make mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not superhuman, and expecting too much will only put you under pressure. Forgive yourself when you mess things up. Take responsibility and apologize to the responsible parties. Make fresh promises if you need to.
Conclusion
One-on-one meetings are one of the most powerful tools you have as a leader and manager. This is because they give you the opportunity to know people better, build better relationships, and go on an inspiring journey together. A journey that can be challenging, fun, and at the same time, fulfilling.
Many people view leadership with a narrow lens – as simply directing others to meet certain goals. However, leadership is not a role; it is a mindset. It is about taking a stand and operating from a place of responsibility in all situations – and that includes the possibility of making mistakes and stumbling on the way.
A good illustration of why having a leadership mindset is crucial is the King’s Cross Subway Station fire in Central London on November 18, 1987. On that fateful day, commuters noticed a pile of burning papers on the tracks and alerted the ticket-collecting staff. However, due to policies, the staffers were not permitted to leave their workstations, so someone alerted their supervisor, who also alerted their manager.
As that message was making its way up the chain of command, so was the fire. As fate would have it, the paint used on the tunnels was flammable. When the fire reached one of those tunnels, it left 31 people dead and injured about 100.
Looking back at it, it was a failure in leadership that caused that tragedy. If the ticket collectors had taken action immediately, the fire would have been quelled sooner. The same would have happened if each supervisor had not decided that “it was not their job.” And, of course, anyone could have stepped up as a “leader” to strip off the old flammable paint.
In short, if only one person had taken charge and shown leadership qualities, 31 souls would not have been lost.
But why is it so difficult for people to act as leaders? Why are leadership skills so rare? One reason is that organizations tend to value processes more than doing what is right. People justify not doing what they knew was the right thing because they were supposed to do something else or it was someone else’s job according to the process book.
A lack of leadership traits and qualities is also a reflection of the lack of deeper inner work among aspiring leaders. It is always easier to expect perfection from others than from oneself. Leadership takes commitment, integrity, and standing for something larger than oneself. And often people have good reasons for not doing what they know is the right thing to do.
Leadership starts from reflection and focussing inwards. Leadership starts when you ask yourself the hard questions and are brave enough to do what most people wouldn’t do. As Lao Tzu once said, “Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” It is only when you can lead yourself that you can lead others effectively.
Are you leading yourself effectively? Here are 8 leadership traits and qualities to do so :-
1. Keep Your Promises. Do What You Say. Say What You Do.
This boils down to a simple question – Are you trustworthy? Can people rely on you?
“Gain a modest reputation for being unreliable and you will never be asked to do a thing.” – Paul Theroux.
In the past, a promise and a handshake are all people had to do to seal a deal. These days, however, you have to sign all kinds of papers to be held accountable for your promises. Why is this the case? Unreliability is almost the norm today.
The ability to keep promises and its positive effects can be far-reaching. Keeping your promises is the definition of integrity. In his bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey defines integrity as “Making reality conform to your words.” This means going above and beyond to see to it that your promises are not mere words.
Being a person of integrity has a huge impact on your leadership ability:
It allows others to trust you
It allows you to influence others without pulling rank
The impact of your leadership increases with your influence
Considering how honouring promises is a critical skill for leadership success, why do some leaders struggle with keeping their word?
One of the main reasons for broken promises today is the need to please people. Afraid to disappoint, many people find it difficult to say no and say YES even when they are not willing to fully stand behind their promise.
Other reasons include:
Not realizing that you either made or implied a promise
Losing enthusiasm upon realizing how difficult keeping that promise is
Lacking the strength to follow through
The consequences of not being able to keep your promises to yourself and others can be severe. For starters, you will have low self-esteem because you cannot trust yourself to keep your word. Secondly, people will not be enthusiastic about working with or collaborating with you.
How to Keep Your Promises
We all break promises occasionally. To keep that at a minimum, consider the following:
Think First Before Committing
Most broken promises stem from impulsive decisions or an inability to say no. It is wiser to think first before agreeing to anything. Check whether you have the ability, resources, and time needed to deliver something. If you are in doubt, either decline the request politely or negotiate an alternative promise. The skill to say NO is a very important but often ignored leadership quality.
Be Principled
This means having integrity as one of the values you hold dear. This means that you will never allow yourself to go back on your word.
Your credibility as a leader rests on your integrity. Remember, there is no trust without integrity. If your team cannot trust your decisions, you will have an incredibly difficult time leading them to success.
Lead Yourself First – The Most Important Leadership Quality
2. Manage Your Time, Energy, and Commitments. Be Ambitious. But Don’t Take On More Than You Can Handle
You cannot lead others effectively if you are having a difficult time leading yourself. This means having the skill to prioritize goals and holding yourself accountable for their accomplishment.
As a leader, the ability to manage your time, emotions, and attention while maintaining an objective view of your strengths and weaknesses is arguably the most important factor of success. Effective leaders are exceptional at balancing their lives.
The following tips should help you manage yourself more effectively:
Be Organized
Start with keeping your work area neat. According to research, working in a clean office improves productivity dramatically. This is because the brain focuses better when there is less clutter around. Moreover, the simple act of cleaning gives you a sense of accomplishment, thus setting up the rest of your day for success. The proper organization allows you to plan, prioritize, and act on your goals more effectively.
Set Goals
Setting goals is the process of determining your objectives in a clear and well-defined way, as well as creating an action plan for achieving them. This allows you to be strategic in your actions instead of winging them. You will be less likely to mismanage yourself when you are following a set plan.
Manage Stress
Stressors often waylay us, as emotions can be overwhelming at times. For example, without effective stress management, a fight with your significant other in the morning could see you have a bad day at work.
One of the hallmarks of a strong leader is their ability to maintain calm during a storm. They are able to focus on their objectives regardless of their emotions. Unfortunately, no one is born a stoic. Emotional Intelligence is achieved by learning how to control one’s emotions.
Be Accountable
Take ownership of your thoughts, time, and actions. In the workplace, this means accepting responsibility for your team’s performance. One of the best ways of exercising accountability is by assigning deadlines to yourself and doing whatever it takes to honour them.
“A person who refuses to manage himself and discipline his flesh will be disciplined and taught by life itself.” – Sunday Adelaja.
3. Accept Responsibility When Things Go Bad. Don’t Blame Others
Unfortunately, we live in a society where people like to take credit for success while passing blame for failure. You see it with politicians all the time. Perhaps, they feel like admitting that they made a mistake will mean losing credibility.
However, that mindset is detrimental to growth. How can you address a problem effectively if no one is willing to take responsibility? As a leader, if things go wrong under your watch, you should have no hesitation to look within and address what needs to be improved. After all, you are the one in charge.
While the words responsibility and accountability are often used interchangeably, when it comes to their influence on your mindset, they are quite different.
Accountability means being willing to accept the outcome of a project. As such, all you need to do is simply deliver the bare minimum. Accountability is often given by others and an external authority.
Responsibility, on the other hand, is a choice. It is a leadership trait as well as a mindset. It means taking it upon yourself to not only see the project through but also that it is a success. A responsible leader, therefore, will never be comfortable with delivering the bare minimum. They are proud when the organization succeeds and are willing to take the blame when their team under-delivers.
If there is a problem, take it upon yourself to solve it. Do not assume that someone else will. The same goes for decisions. You do not have to wait for authority from someone else. Responsibility is a choice.
Be Result-Driven
Your effectiveness as a leader ultimately depends on your team’s results. Therefore, instead of focusing on pleasing your team, focus on supporting them on their tasks. In case the desired results fail to materialize, go back to the drawing board and identify the pitfalls, and then come up with a new strategy.
Accept Criticism
You are not perfect; nobody is. This means that you will make mistakes occasionally. Accept any criticism that comes your way without becoming attached. Review the feedback and then make amends.
Protect Your Subordinates
This means acting as a buffer between senior management and your team. If senior management is making unreasonable demands, do not pass down those directives without expressing your authentic voice. Irrespective of the outcome, it will build trust if you stand by your values and fight for them.
Ensure Your Team Always Has Resources
Do not hesitate to ask for the resources your team needs. This will allow your department to run like a well-oiled machine. Go seek help and find those resources if your team is lacking.
Hold Others Accountable
Ensure that every member is working towards the team’s goal. Do not incentivize individual performance over team goals. Do this by holding them accountable for their team spirit. Let your people know that they are not only responsible for their own goals but also for the entire team.
4. Adopt a beginner’s mindset and always be open to learning
“I know that I know nothing” – Socrates.
To Socrates, the beginning of wisdom was accepting that you are an empty vessel. As a result, you will always be a beginner and hungry for learning.
Great leaders understand that they do not have all the solutions. As such, they have an insatiable curiosity for learning, as that is what helps them grow.
This means taking advice even from your subordinates, which is something many people simply cannot do.
We are living in an incredibly fast-paced world. This means that what worked last year might not work this year. Therefore, continuously learning is the only way to prevent yourself from becoming obsolete.
5. Learn to communicate clearly and influence people by the weight of your arguments and not your rank
If there is something that most great leaders have in common, it is their ability to communicate and influence others. To get things done, you must know how to put your message across in a clear and convincing manner.
The most underrated communication skill is simply silence. Just listen. Great leaders do more listening than talking. By actively listening, they get to understand the other person’s perspective. Listening allows you to take care of others’ priorities and interests as well as taking care of the organization’s needs.
The benefits of active listening are tremendous. For starters, it is a demonstration of respect, as it shows that you value the other party’s ideas or opinions. This not only helps you construct good arguments but also builds trust.
6. Take care of the people around you. Step up to support colleagues if they need help.
Good leaders know that the health and wellness of their people play a critical role in the success of the organization. Productivity and wellbeing are not mutually exclusive, and strong leaders create an environment where people can express themselves freely.
As a result, they take it upon themselves to be supportive of their colleagues. This means offering mentorship or guidance whenever necessary. Good leaders also create a healthy environment where everyone flourishes.
“Leadership without support is like trying to make bricks without enough straw. True leaders reinforce their ideas and plans with strategic partnerships, alliances, and supportive audiences.” ~Reed Markham
7. Ask for regular feedback to identify your blind spots. Ask for help when you need to. Work with a Coach
Many leaders become so enamoured with the titles that they feel they are beyond asking for feedback. To them, not asking for feedback allows them to avoid criticism.
However, you will never be effective as a leader if you are more concerned about yourself than with the well-being of your team. This is because effective leadership comes from problem-solving as a team, not you solving everybody else’s problems.
Strong leaders are humble enough to acknowledge their limitations. As such, it is not beneath them to ask for feedback from their colleagues. What’s more, being humble makes you more relatable with your team members. Asking for feedback and hearing the honest truth is a very critical leadership skill and quality that can make all the difference.
Strong leaders work with a coach to identify their own blind spots. A coach can help you remove your own mental blocks and see possibilities that were hidden to you before.
8. Be selfless. Stand up for others. Take a fall for your team or your colleague. Speak your mind when it is what you believe, even at the risk of loss of reputation
Are you willing to stick your neck out for your team? Good leaders will have their team’s back no matter what. If the ship is sinking, they will be the last ones to leave.
Why is it important for a leader to be selfless? It is for the simple reason that your team looks up to you. According to the CEO of Michael Hyatt & Company, “Leaders replicate themselves, whether they like it or not. Your followers will adopt your habits and behaviours.” Therefore, if you want your team to act selflessly, you must be selfless in your actions.
One leadership trait present in courageous leaders is to speak their minds out. They express themselves fully and speak up for their values and standards, and are willing to take a fall for the team if speaking up means doing so. Strong leaders do not just follow orders from above. They follow their inner voice and listen to their conscience when making choices and decisions.
Conclusion
Mahatma Gandhi challenged us to be the change we want to see in the world. When it comes to becoming a better leader, you must be the change you want to see in your team, as well as in your communities and organizations. Before leading others, you must lead yourself.
While there are enough leadership experts, there isn’t any one-size-fits-all manual for leadership. That is because every team is different, every employee is different, and every leader is different. Leadership by definition means working with people, and people are more unpredictable and inconsistent than we might like to believe.
It is easier to cause damage as a leader by ignorance than it is to improve performance by deliberate intervention. Here are 6 things that you must avoid doing if you want to be a successful leader.
1. Do not accept mediocrity or low standards. Whatever standards you accept will become the norm.
In your desire to please people or avoid conflict, if you end up accepting low standards, then you are not doing justice to anyone in the team. People will fall down to the level of performance you expect from them.
In addition, nothing pisses high performers more than lowering your standards. If you let your standards slide, the first people to get frustrated and demotivated would be your best performers. If you continue to tolerate mediocrity, the high performers will soon start looking for other jobs.
Use the below guidelines when looking to raise performance standards in your team:
Lead by Example
Are you maintaining high standards in your own work? Your team is always looking up to you for guidance and motivation, modeling their performance to yours. Therefore, if you are not performing at a high level, you will likely notice the same in your employees. As such, model your behavior and performance to what you want to see in your team.
Make Your Expectations Clear
Making your expectations clear is one way of ensuring that people uphold high standards. This will allow you to hold everyone accountable to your expectations. Make sure people have deadlines and milestones for the various stages in the assignment. Moreover, have a clear and precise way of measuring performance standards.
Appreciate
Compliment high performers for a job well done. Doing this not only boosts that individual’s confidence but also communicates your standards to the rest of the team.
Coach
If a particular employee is performing poorly, try to determine what the barriers to their success are. Set small, achievable goals and provide support along the way. Make sure to acknowledge even the smallest of improvements. More often than not, you can help the employee improve their own performance by coaching them to see their own potential.
As former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell tastefully put it, “The more you tolerate mediocrity in other people, the more mediocre you become.” Therefore, as a leader, you should not only hold yourself to high standards but also ensure that your employees are doing the same.
6 Things You Must Not Do As a Leader To Ensure High Team Performance
2. Don’t treat people with disrespect. Even when they mess up.
How do you feel when someone disrespects you? Chances are you are not going to be too excited about collaborating with them. In the workspace, unfortunately, some leaders feel that their position allows them to treat their subordinates with disrespect.
Whether it is saying good morning to the janitor or cleaning up after yourself, showing respect goes a long way. The following are some of the benefits of being a respectful leader:
Increasing Job Satisfaction
According to a 2014 survey done by the Society for Human Resources, up to 72% of the survey participants rated respectful treatment as being the most important contributor to job satisfaction. Employees who love their jobs are more productive since they want to be there. The reverse is also true; employees who are not treated with respect tend to have more conflicts at work, in addition to being more likely to miss work.
Increasing Employee Engagement
According to findings from a Gallup study involving more than 350,000 employees in the U.S., only 30% of the participants felt engaged with their jobs.
One of the easiest ways of increasing engagement is by treating people with respect. As mentioned earlier, employees consider respect to be the most important behavior in a leader. Therefore, by treating them well, they will be more likely to make your vision a reality.
Minimizing Conflict in the Workspace
Mutual respect creates a positive work environment and reduces gossiping, harassment, and other types of negativity. This ensures people work collaboratively and there are healthy disagreements rather than friction and conflict.
Reducing Stress
By treating your staff with respect, they will be more comfortable, as they do not have to worry about being ridiculed or humiliated. Being stress-free not only increases engagement but also goes a long way in promoting their mental well-being.
Improving Collaboration
Collaborative meetings often give birth to big ideas. When employees feel respected, they won’t shy away from sharing ideas. If employees always have to watch out for being humiliated or ridiculed, they tend to keep their ideas to themselves. This not only hurts them but also the entire organisation.
Disrespecting anyone, leave alone the people helping you to realize your goals, is a behavior that has no place in the 21st century. Nothing good comes from such behavior except pleasing the so-called leader’s ego.
3. Don’t force people to commit to deadlines or take on work that would mean spending time away from their families or ignoring their health.
Working during the weekend has become the norm in some countries. A survey of 1000 working Americans found that up to 67% of the participants typically worked during weekends, with 63% revealing that their employers expect them to do so.
This means that the typical boss sets deadlines that require their employees to work on weekends, which leaves them little time to spend with their families or embark on activities that refresh them both physically and mentally.
Sick or worn-out employees are hardly the most productive workers. As such, it is important to allow them time to reset. According to psychoanalyst, performance coach, and author of “Be Fearless: Change Your Life In 28 Days,” Jonathan Alpert, “Reset time is critical, as it allows them to recharge and redirect their energy to other interests.”
Pushing people to work in their free time might lead to short term productivity benefits, but it leads to nothing but harm in the long term. Not only the business suffers due to a lack of engagement and productivity, but people’s health and well-being also take a hit.
The Challenge of Leadership
4. Don’t put profits over employee well-being. Don’t push people to stress and burnout
Employees are people, not machines, meaning that they are susceptible to burnout. Human beings need regular periods of rest, rejuvenation, and play to recharge their batteries. Good leaders understand this and give their people the flexibility to work at their own pace. They encourage people to take their vacation days and make sure they stay energized and happy instead of only focussing on productivity.
Employee well-being and profits are not mutually exclusive. Often the most productive companies over the long run are those which prioritize employee well-being over profits. If your team has to meet unrealistic expectations, your team will be forced to cut corners and rush work. As a result, you will end up with low quality output.
Low Employee Morale
Hitting set targets is a big morale booster. However, if the goal is simply unattainable, people start feeling like they are not capable of achieving set goals. This can dampen their motivation, self-esteem, and productivity.
Increased Turnover
If an employee feels like they are not capable of meeting your expectations, they are likely to resign and look for other options, resulting in a loss of valuable expertise.
5. Don’t bias your decisions because of who and what you like.
Conflict among employees is bound to happen in the workplace. As a leader, it is your job to make decisions free of any bias or favoritism.
While most misunderstandings usually end up with the parties involved solving it among themselves, sometimes they don’t. It is in such cases where you have to step in with proper conflict management skills.
However, leaders often find themselves struggling to stay impartial when solving disputes, sometimes showing bias. This is because, as humans, we tend to take sides with opinions that resonate strongly with ours. Therefore, if the grievances of one of the parties in conflict have opinions you identify with, you might find yourself showing bias to their side of the story.
The effects of being partial when solving conflicts can be far-reaching. For starters, you undermine your own integrity as a leader. And then, you risk losing the respect of the rest of the team.
It is very important to hear the contrary position to what you believe in. This will make all sides feel heard, and you might even discover some new information that might change your mind.
6. Don’t micromanage. Trust people and let them do the work they were hired for.
Micromanaging is extremely detrimental to productivity, as it signifies distrust, thereby causing over-dependence and stress. According to Forbes Coaches Council, micromanaged teams are typically rebellious or incapable of making independent decisions.
As a leader, the last thing you want is to have people who are not confident in their abilities, as you will have to hold their hand every step of the way. The lack of belief in their skills coupled with the time lost verifying everything with you is the perfect recipe for wastage of energy and effort.
Instead of micromanaging, therefore, be a leader and trust people to do the job they were hired for. Give them the training and support required to do their jobs, and then get out of their way.
Conclusion
While there are a lot of guides on what to do as a leader, these above 6 things are a simple reminder of what you should not do. Sometimes it is easier to cause damage to team morale and engagement with one small misstep. If you keep the above guidelines in mind, you will set the foundation for a strong team.
Does your manager focus only on your weaknesses and never talks about your strengths? You are not alone. According to Gallup, only one out of 3 employees would say they have the freedom to do what they excel at every day. That’s because many managers tend to focus more on fixing their employees’ mistakes than promoting a strengths-based culture.
Gallup’s research has proved that using a strength-based approach to better what workers are already good at creates more engaged employees and increases your organization’s productivity immensely.
Gallup further suggests that learning programs focused on fixing weaknesses are fundamentally flawed since they seek to make employees who they are not. There is, therefore, a fundamental need for organizations to look at themselves in the mirror to see if they are doing things right.
You Are Enough, And Perfect The Way You Are
4 Reasons to Run Away If Your Manager Focuses on Weaknesses
Everybody loves to be appreciated for what they excel or are good at. If your manager only focuses on your weaknesses rather than what you are good at, it will lead to friction and demotivation over time. The following are some reasons why you shouldn’t try fixing people.
1. Fixing People doesn’t Work
Gallup found that 22% of employees with managers who focus on their weaknesses are actively disengaged compared to only one percent for employees with managers who concentrate on strengths. When you focus on weaknesses, you create friction since nobody appreciates when their flaws are put under the spotlight.
This leads to demotivation and consequently, decreased productivity. Some employees could also choose to find employment elsewhere where their strengths are appreciated more.
2. Focusing on Weaknesses Ignores Strengths
A 2016 study found that people tend to see weaknesses as more malleable than strength. That would explain why many managers are still trying to fix mistakes. However, focusing on weaknesses blinds a manager from seeing the potential in their employees. They, therefore, miss out on opportunities to better what their workers are already good at.
Strengths can be improved too, and developing them creates extraordinary room for growth. Managers should identify their employees’ natural talents and invest their time and energy in turning them into super strengths.
3. Everybody Has Weaknesses
No human being is perfect, and yet everyone is. Unfortunately, some managers still hold on to the unrealistic goal of perfecting their employees by eliminating their weaknesses. It would be better to accept people for whom they are instead of wasting time on fixing weaknesses.
Faults will always be present; the challenge is to look beyond them. Instead of looking at the bad, which not only wastes time but also creates friction, managers should concentrate on making what their workers are already good at better.
4. Focussing On Weaknesses Says “I Know Better”
Developing trust and accountability in the workplace is essential. Instead of fixing weaknesses, leaders need to “care” for their people by trusting their employees’ ability to deliver on expectations.
In another research, Gallup found that managers contribute to 70% of the variance in their worker’s engagement levels. Fixing people takes an “I know better” attitude. Instead of imposing their standards, managers should lend their ear to their employees and work with them to see where learning is needed.
“If you spend your life trying to be good at everything, you will never be great at anything.”
― Tom Rath
Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin
6 Advantages of Strengths-based Leadership
Regardless of what you believe in, the truth is that focusing on the weaknesses of your employees will not get you far. The following are advantages of strength-based leadership and management.
1. Faster Growth in Learning new Skills and Jobs
Improving your employee’s strengths makes them a lot more of what they truly are. When you focus your energy on improving people’s natural abilities, you will realize that they can achieve even what you thought they couldn’t.
It is, therefore, important to assign roles based on employees’ strengths. A strength-based approach will enable employees to acquire new skills and learn new jobs faster. They are also more likely to be successful in their roles.
2. Better Productivity
When your employees get a chance to concentrate on their strengths every day, you get a better return on time and effort invested. According to Gallup’s data, employees who work on areas of strengths are 7.8% more productive.
Additionally, concentrating on your team’s strengths daily increases your employees’ productivity levels by 12.5%. Maximizing strengths in the workplace also positively impacts the health of your workforce resulting in fewer sick days. This will improve the company’s bottom line in the process.
3. Better Attitude and Mental Health.
When you play to your employees’ strengths, work becomes fun instead of a source of stress. If your workers spend more hours in a day using their strengths, they are less likely to experience mental health issues such as anger, sadness, worry, anxiety, and stress.
36% of those who use their strengths for 10 hours everyday experience stress. According to a study, this number rises to 52% for people who use their strengths only three hours a day. If you choose a strengths-based approach, your workers will experience an increase in positive emotions. They are likely to be happier and to have a positive attitude about work.
4. Higher Engagement in the Organisation
As a manager, you have the responsibility to provide opportunities for employees to use their strengths. By placing employees in roles where they can be at their best every day, you can empower them to get even better at their strengths. When your workers are more engaged, it leads to higher productivity.
According to Gallup, managers who encourage their employees to use their talents are six times more likely to foster engagement. Moreover, 61% of employees whose managers adopt a strength-based approach in the workplace are engaged. This is double the average number of workers who are engaged in the entire United States (30%).
5. Building Strengths is Faster and Easier than Improving Weaknesses
Building strengths is straightforward and faster than trying to fix weaknesses. There will be less friction because your employees are more likely to get on board, and it requires less time and effort because they are already good at what they do; you’re only making them better.
On the other hand, your workers will be more reluctant to make significant changes, especially if the change swims against the tide of their natural talents. Therefore, that approach can be a long and hard journey that ends up being frustrating and unrewarding.
6. People Stay in Companies Longer When the Focus is on Strengths
A strengths-based approach makes people feel valued. As a result, they will be more engaged, productive, and less likely to leave the organization. However, if you choose to focus on fixing weaknesses, your people will be less satisfied and productive and will have a higher chance of leaving the company for another job that puts their talents to better use.
“If you focus on people’s weaknesses, they lose confidence.”
Conclusion
The importance of a strength-based approach in the workplace cannot be overstated. As a leader or manager, you should take the steps required to create a culture that focuses on developing strengths rather than eliminating flaws.
Begin by identifying the strengths of your employees, and help them align their talents to what their roles demand.
All employees have areas of strengths (and weaknesses). You should always seek to develop these strengths by assigning roles based on abilities, incorporating strengths in performance evaluations and career conversations, and encouraging workers to set goals based on what they excel at. Focusing on strengths creates good opportunities for success for both the employee and the organization’s bottom line.
A lot of my coaching work involves working with people to figure out what their deepest held values are, and what they consider important in life. It is often surprising that many people have no idea what their values are. And that included me too for a long long time. If I introspect, I realize that I had never thought of my values before I started being coached back in 2010.
I often wonder why we don’t know our values as adult human beings? Why don’t we know what is important to us and what we care for? Why don’t we know our worth? It seems to be an important question, yet most of us face this question by accident, and not by design.
It is difficult to understand why our current education system doesn’t place a lot of emphasis on character formation. I am not talking about someone telling you about right and wrong. What I mean by character formation is encouraging people to think for themselves and make their own decisions about what they care about or not?
Shouldn’t this be at the center of our formal education? We teach all about different subjects to children but fail to teach them how to discover their values and how to be the kind of person they want to be? Unless people don’t know what they care for, how will they know their worth and standing in life?
I sometimes wonder what is the job of the school or the teacher? Is it to drill a specific lesson into the pupil’s heads or to prepare them for life with values, lessons, and tools that they can use in good and bad times alike? Who will teach our kids about resilience, empathy, care, and collaboration instead of only knowledge, chasing success, competition, and ambition?
This kind of teaching is severely missing from our educational system. How is one supposed to act in our dynamic and chaotic world if we don’t even know our values? Unfortunately, the problem goes beyond our schools or the education system. We seem to live in a culture that has forgotten the importance of having values. However, this wasn’t always the case.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”
LAO TZU, Tao Te Ching
Why Do We Glorify Achievement Over Values?
In his book, The Road to Character, David Brooks argues that society took a turn for the worse somewhere in the mid-20th century when the focus shifted to individualism and self-desire. As a result, modern society seems to have lost touch with our values. Our culture now glorifies achievement at the expense of character development, and parents are not spared either. Instead of imparting values to their children, they focus on report cards and career progression as they seek glory in their children’s success.
Teens today think it’s more important to have money. Out of all the teenagers surveyed from 2005 to 2007, 62% thought it was important to have lots of money in life. Compare this to just 44% between 1976 and 1978. During the 1970s, close to 49% of teenagers expected to earn more money than their folks. This number rose to 60% by the 2000s.
But as the desire for wealth increases, teenagers rarely demonstrate a great work ethic. During the late 1970s, a quarter of the teenagers surveyed admitted they were not willing to work hard for results. A few decades later, this figure had jumped to 39%.
Focus on Eulogy Virtues Instead of Resume Virtues
Resume virtues are those qualities that make us seem competent at our jobs. On the other hand, eulogy virtues are values we would want people to associate us with after we are gone. If you want to live a meaningful and satisfying life, stop thinking too much about yourself, your skills, and your possessions. Instead of focusing on the never-ending climb of achievement, focus on the inner struggles that challenge you to fight your own daemons, and grow the courage to go after what really makes you alive.
The very belief that we can control life is the biggest lie that we tell ourselves. Life, by its very nature, is messy and unpredictable. Good and bad things will happen to you. Your education, job, the country you live in, or any other reason which gives you the illusion of safety, is a very bad armor against life.
Embrace the uncertainty of life and experience real FREEDOM. Go out and play. Learn a new language. Take a new job, or live in different cities/countries and soak in different cultures. Write, paint, or do anything else that makes you experience life rather than draining the life out of you.
Don’t try to be nice or do what is expected. Don’t live for the gallery. Be authentic. For a change, LIVE for YOURSELF. And you can’t do that unless you know what your values are, what is important or not important, and what you stand for? In short, unless you know your own worth?
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
Accept Your Flaws
We must not kid ourselves. Perfection is an illusion. As human beings, we are innately flawed. However, we should always strive to be better. Our imperfections are not something to be fixed. Instead, our imperfections (strengths and weaknesses) make us the unique human being that we are. We are perfect in our imperfections.
Pride and overconfidence trick you into thinking you are better than who you are. When dealing with your own imperfection, you need to be humble. For instance, you must accept you can’t know it all and that you may never know some things. Perfect knowledge is unachievable. However, you can leverage the experience you gain and your unique strengths, skills, and values to go after what you really care about.
Find a Purpose
It is not possible to have a fulfilling life unless you take care of what you care about. Stop searching for happiness since it is not something you should crave for as a means to its own end. Instead, live an intentional life. Joy and satisfaction is a byproduct of going after what is really important to you – irrespective of whether you succeed or fail at your efforts. When you go after your calling, it gives your life meaning, and joy and aliveness will naturally follow.
I like this definition of success by John Wooden the most, “Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” Knowing what your values are and what is important to you is more important than what you choose to do.
When you connect to the things that matter most, you experience true joy. Otherwise, you may end up doubting yourself and questioning why you are doing what you are doing, even when you achieve success by society’s standards.
Research was conducted among Stanford University students who were heading home for the winter break. They were each asked to keep a daily journal. Some of them were asked to write down their most important values and how they were connected to the events of the day. Others were asked to write down the positive events that occurred throughout the day.
The results were startling. Those students who jotted down their personal values were healthier, fell sick less often, and had more energy and a better attitude than the students who wrote down the positive events in their life. These findings have been replicated in subsequent studies. In his book, The Upside of Stress, Stanford professor Kelly McGonigal argues that writing about our values has short term and long term benefits for our health, mental attitude, and social life.
Importance of Knowing Your Values
Self-awareness begins with knowing what makes you tick, and what is most important to you. The following are some benefits to be gained from knowing your worth – your values and what you stand for.
It Breeds Maturity
Knowing your values may not lead to fame or fortune, but it will foster maturity and help you stay grounded. When you become mature, you focus on becoming better than your own previous self rather than comparing yourself to others. You move from fragmentation to centeredness. As a consequence, the restlessness disappears, and the confusion about the meaning and purpose of life dies down.
They Help You Find Your Purpose
Do you know your purpose in life? As it turns out, this is not the case for most of us. It is only after identifying your values that you can begin to understand this purpose. You won’t know what you want out of life if you don’t figure out what is important to you. The first step is always to ask yourself this question – What do you care about? And the second question which can take you to your purpose is – How can you take care of what you care about?
They Regulate Behavior
Values are principles that guide and regulate our behaviour without it oscillating between extremes. When you’re faced with a difficult situation, it is natural to react impulsively. You can use your values to determine your actions in moments of crisis. Your values can serve as a moral lighthouse in those tough times. Self-awareness will ensure you behave in a manner that matches what you aspire to be at your core.
“Human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth.” – Albert Einstein
They are Valuable in Decision Making
Emotions and struggles tend to cloud our judgment if we are not aware of what we stand for. When faced with important life decisions, it would be important to stop and consider how someone who shares your values would approach the situation? As a result, you are more likely to make clear-headed decisions rather than emotionally charged ones.
They Help You Identify What is Important
We are constantly distracted by so many things these days. In our consumerism-driven society, we are bombarded with advertisements, notifications, and information constantly.
Identifying your values will help you clear out the clutter. It will help you clear the mud from the water allowing you to see clearly. You can then focus your time and energy on what matters and brings value, satisfaction, and aliveness into your life.
They Help You Choose the Right Career
With so many options available, it can be hard to figure out what you want to pursue in life. However, choosing a career path is easy when you know what matters to you most. Perhaps you value interactions and forging meaningful relationships more than endlessly chasing after results. Perhaps you value just the opposite. Knowing what you stand for, and what matters to you, will help you consciously take your life and career forward, rather than just drifting with the flow.
They Help You Develop a Sense of Self
Knowing your values and worth shapes your beliefs. It enables you to develop strong opinions about key subjects. You can’t just believe what your parents or friends believe and want you to believe. You have to figure out what you truly stand for so you can be your authentic self around others. In both good times and bad, your values can serve as a moral compass always guiding you to your north star.
They Impact Your Overall Happiness
At the end of the day, knowing your values brings joy into your life. When you take action aligned with your values and to take care of what you care about, the result will be a more meaningful and happier life. When you are able to do so, you will find aliveness, joy, and satisfaction even if you have to face some tough challenges on the way.
Conclusion
As adults, we must dig deeper, introspect, and ask ourselves the tough questions to know our values. Identifying what is important to you will enable you to live a more meaningful life. You will be able to find your purpose, make the right decisions, navigate through tough situations, and choose the right career path.
Ultimately, values will help you develop a sense of self, shape your character, improve your confidence, and increase your overall happiness. When you know your worth, you know where you stand and where to draw a line.
Middle management is usually the weakest link in the chain of every organization. A study that gathered data from the most unengaged employees found that middle-level managers form the biggest bulk of the bottom five percent.
The results are startling, considering they play a key role crucial to the company’s success. They have a direct impact on the well-being of their employees and act as communication conduits for senior managers. When senior management fully supports and trains their middle-level managers, they can bring positive change in the organization.
However, companies that fail to fully involve mid-level managers while expecting them to implement policies they didn’t have a hand in creating will not achieve their set goals. In many organizations, these managers and their employees are dissatisfied and disengaged. The following are some reasons why.
They Are Rarely Trained To Do Their Job And Have Badly Trained Managers Themselves
Middle managers are rarely trained to do their job. According to a study by learning innovator Grovo that involved over 500 middle-level managers from various industries, 98% of surveyed managers felt leaders at their organizations need more training in issues such as time management, employee turnover, professional development, conflict resolution, and project management.
Even when present, management training is usually ineffective. The large volume of information makes it almost impossible to remember and apply, and companies rarely do follow-ups to reinforce the training.
Top-level managers lack training too. According to a Professor of Management at Vanderbilt Owen Graduate School of Management Ray Friedman, how middle managers treat their subordinates reflects how their bosses treat them. So when their bosses are not properly trained, the effect is felt at all levels. When middle managers have a healthy relationship with their bosses, the effects are passed down the layers.
There is Increased Pressure to Perform
Middle managers are constantly under pressure to perform, which leaves no time for learning. It’s no wonder that a study found that they are the most depressed group in many organizations. The role that middle managers play has undergone major transformations over the last few decades.
The downsizing, cost-cutting, and restructuring that happen during times of crisis affect middle managers more since they are often blamed for the slack. Apart from the layoffs, middle-level management has experienced major changes that have led to new demands concerning behavior, skills, and competencies. Managers are now expected to become mentors and coaches for their people, and there is increased pressure to perform more than ever.
They are Always in Meetings
Middle managers find it hard and exhausting to context-switch across different domains, functions, and skill sets as they go from one meeting to another. This frustration is aggravated when the middle manager is constantly inundated with meetings with no breathing space in their schedules.
Being in meetings the whole day leaves no time for thinking and casually connecting with people. Managers who spend most of their time attending meetings tend to lose touch with the people they manage over time.
Empower Your Middle Managers To Build Strong Bonds At Every Level
How to Train and Grow Your Managers?
Your company’s bottom line depends on the caliber of managers you have. The way they manage directly impacts the engagement, motivation, and productivity of your people. The buck stops with them. It, therefore, makes sense to help them become excellent at their jobs. The following are a few ideas.
1. Educate Them About Their Role
Many managers rarely have a clue of what their role entails as nobody told them what people expect from them and they only had bad examples to follow themselves. Part of the reason is that the majority of managers were promoted to the position after excelling in their previous assignments, and not because they were good in management.
However, management is a different role altogether and requires a unique set of soft skills that experience in previous roles can’t provide. Such skills include listening, accountability, building relationships, the ability to make sound decisions, and motivating others. Therefore, if your organization is willing to entrust people with management positions, it should also be willing to invest in educating the managers on what is expected of them.
2. Train them To Be Better Coaches and Communicators
A manager’s role primarily involves dealing with people and having conversations. In fact, it would not be wrong to say that leaders get paid to have effective conversations. You should, therefore, educate them to become better coaches and communicators. Proper communication is clear, transparent, and consistent, and it plays a key role in clarifying expectations, building relationships, managing conflict, and giving honest feedback.
Coaching enables leaders to support their employees to identify their blind spots and confidently go after ambitious goals. Instead of acting as gatekeepers who stand between the frontline employees and their growth, managers should coach their team members to constantly learn and fulfill their potential in their respective roles.
However, employee development is a continuous process, and you should not do it once or twice a year to tick off an item on a checklist. Coaching should happen regularly at frequent intervals.
3. Build Trust
As a leader, you should have very high character and integrity expectations from your managers. Trust is essential for effective leadership since it makes your team feel a sense of belonging and encourages people to work towards a collective purpose.
According to the Harvard Business Review, employees working in high-trust environments are 76% more engaged and report a 50% higher productivity rate. Without trust, everything else falls apart.
Building trust is an ongoing process. When you establish trust with your managers, you should continually nurture it by being transparent, owning mistakes, seeking out feedback, and giving credit where it’s due.
“We look for three things when we hire people. We look for intelligence, we look for initiative or energy, and we look for integrity. And if they don’t have the latter, the first two will kill you, because if you’re going to get someone without integrity, you want them lazy and dumb.” – Warren Buffett
4. Be transparent
Your manager is an essential communication link between top-level management and frontline employees. They provide executives with valuable information about the day-to-day workings of the organization and ensure that information from senior management gets to the employees.
If the organization fails to bring middle managers onboard by not sharing valuable information with them, the employees will also be out of touch with the organization’s goals and objectives. You should always share honest and transparent information such as company values, mission, goals, progress, successes, and setbacks with your managers so that they can pass it along to the frontline workers.
Knowing how to communicate is especially important in our ever-changing and dynamic world. The next crisis – a financial crisis or a pandemic as we have seen in 2020, could just be around the corner. Do you managers what essential messages to communicate when the times get tough?
Do You Realise That Your Middle Management Is The Most Important Link In The Chain?
5. Use a Strengths-Based Approach To Career Development
Every manager has weaknesses, but they also have innate strengths. Although you should not ignore the weaknesses, studies have shown that focusing on strengths rather than trying to fix mistakes creates more engaged employees and is better for the company’s bottom line.
Strong leaders allow their managers to manage based on their strengths and support them in areas of their weaknesses. Focusing on weaknesses erodes trust and creates friction. On the other hand, a strengths-based approach leads to faster growth and high positivity in the workplace.
6. Get Each Manager a Coach
Today’s employees prefer the opportunity for personal growth to financial growth. And over the long term, there is no financial growth possible without personal growth. People no longer want a boss who dictates what to do without giving regular feedback. Instead, people expect a manager who can coach them, value them, and help them build their strengths. A strong leader involves their employees in setting goals and expectations and communicates more openly, honestly, and frequently.
As Gallup found out, the number one reason why many employees switch jobs is career growth opportunities. A coach will help your managers grow and see their blind spots. They can give practical advice on how to offer emotionally intelligent support and help them build confidence while dealing with challenges and setbacks which every manager faces.
Conclusion
Effective middle-management is critical for your organization’s success. Your manager is responsible for setting goals, motivating employees, and ensuring that the company’s day-to-day activities run smoothly. And as a leader, it is upon you to ensure that they have the necessary tools required to keep your employees engaged and productivity high.
This includes giving them the right training to prepare them for their role, building trust, being transparent, and dealing with change. Proper training should educate managers on the importance of their role and teach them to become better coaches and communicators. It should also be current and regularly updated with the latest research and findings, and focus on improving your manager’s strengths rather than fixing their weaknesses.
As a leader, my most important meetings are my 1-on-1’s with my direct reports. It is the single best investment of my time, and yet I have seen most leaders clueless about its importance.
These 20 questionswill help you turn your 1-on-1 meetings into sources of insights and connection. Insights into the desires and fears of the human being sitting beside you, and an opportunity to create a real human connection based on care, impact, and meaning.
There is nothing more powerful than asking the right question at the right time. Powerful questions like these can become your prized tools of leverage as a leader and coach. Here they go :
One Powerful Question Can Transform Your Life
Tell me something I don’t know about you?
This question never ceases to amaze me. It is such an open-ended question that the answers you get surprises you. This question can reveal a lot that you might not be aware of, about the other person. This question works wonderfully whether you are talking to somebody who is new in your team, or to someone whom you have known for years.
Where do you want to be in the next 1, 5, and 10 years?
This question provides a window into people’s dreams. You might have to ask a few questions to uncover them, but once you get to know where somebody wants to be in the future, you can use that knowledge as leverage when you assign work to them. This can help you to allow them to do the best work of their lives.
What are you excited about?
What are you worried about?
These two questions will tell you what the other person cares about. Questions like this will reveal what is important to them in their lives – whether it is their family, their health, a particular hobby, sports, or something else.
The answer to these questions will help you better deal with future situations when they are overly excited or worried. You will be able to understand what happened that caused them to be excited or worried.
If you were to donate everything you have to a cause or charity, which would it be?
What one word do you want people to use to describe you? What word do you think people currently use?
The above two questions will make people reveal their most important values. Asking them to come up with one word can be very challenging but it can reveal something very deep and meaningful in their life.
What did you do recently that you are proud of?
This question will reveal a recent act which the person is proud of. It will reveal what the person values, and will also help them connect with their own values, which often people are unaware of.
Are You Asking Enough Powerful Questions – To Yourself and Your Team?
When was the last time you told a lie? Why? What would have happened if you had told the truth?
We all tell lies – in different areas of our lives. And there is nothing right or wrong about them. However, I feel that a totally different outcome/result could be possible if we were to tell the truth in such circumstances.
Asking this question can reveal hidden possibilities in people’s futures which they themselves might have closed doors on. It shows people alternate options that would become available for people if they were to choose courage over comfort the next time.
What do you want to do that you will be proud of in 5 years’ time?
We can all work just for the sake of work. Or we can do work which we can remember decades down the line. Work that makes us proud, work that makes an impact, and work that makes a difference. This question will help you figure this out.
How are you special? What makes you stand out?
I believe we all are unique in our own ways. We all have our strengths and things we do well. However, our work likes to put us into boxes of pre-defined roles and responsibilities.
As a leader, it is very important to understand what makes each person tick in your team, and what is unique about them? This will help you find work for them that are suited to their strengths, and they have the best chance of succeeding.
When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone? What was the result?
This is another question that touches on the idea of courage. This question can reveal what someone has been missing out on because of a lack of courage. I have seen that when asked this question, people see hidden opportunities for themselves in the future if they were to gather the courage to step out of their comfort zones.
Tell me about your biggest failure in life? Biggest success? What did you learn from the experience?
We all learn from ups and downs in life. There are moments in everyone’s life when we are forced to re-evaluate our life priorities. Moments like these, which are called ‘crucibles’ by Bill George, the author of Discover Your True North, can reveal a lot about what we value and who we are.
When was the last time you laughed at work?
If the answer to this question is “too long ago”, you know as a leader you have your task cut out. You need to do something to make the environment more fun. Always being busy at work can make life boring if you don’t have friends at work.
Life is always more fun, and work is more productive if we have people with whom we can laugh.
If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would you say?
Everyone has a message inside of them dying to get out. Everyone wants to say something which they don’t because of certain societal pressures or internal battles.
Asking this question will help you get that message out, and if you can create a culture where people can express themselves fully without pretensions, engagement and productivity will go up by many notches.
What would your day look like if money was not a concern?
Often people feel powerless and trapped by money. I have felt that way for a long time, and I have seen that asking this question forces people to think for themselves about what their world would look like if money was not a concern. Ask this question and be amazed by the answers people give.
Who do you look up to? Who are your mentors, both those you know personally and those who inspire you from afar?
We all have people in life who inspire us and whom we look up to. These could be people we have met, like our parents or our teachers. Or these could be people whom we have known and heard from far, as someone from politics or business. Knowing who people look up to can give an insight into their values and ideals.
What do you do after work? What are your hobbies?
People have a life after work, and knowing about what keeps them busy at work can help you get a better picture of their personality. I have found that talking to people about their hobbies, and motivating them to do more of it, can increase their engagement and productivity at work.
What are your highest priorities in life? Where does work fit in?
We all have priorities in life other than work like family, health, a hobby, or volunteering. For some people, work is the number one priority, while for others it is not. Knowing where work fits in someone’s life priorities can help you communicate and coach them accordingly.
As a child, what did you want to do when you grew up?
What in your life is ‘on hold’? Until you lose weight, until you retire, etc. What are you waiting for?
The above two questions try to bring to the surface deep desires which we might have given up on. We all dream a lot as children but give those dreams up when we are faced with the reality of adult life. However, it doesn’t have to be so, and tapping into those dreams can be a great source of motivation and satisfaction.
All of us have something in life which we plan to do “one day”. These items are usually on hold and we are waiting for some ideal condition to be met. Asking this question will help you understand people better, and connect with them on a deeper level.
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