Life

Why we should stay alone more often?

In our daily lives, we strive to and take pride in being busy. We like to see ourselves multi-tasking and bask in the glory of productivity when someone acknowledges us. We live with other people (whether family or friends), work in teams and do almost everything in groups. Or we always have our mobile phone, some book or movie, or the ever ubiquitous internet with us for company. Staying alone is what we end up thinking as a waste of time.

But man is essentially an individual. He was born alone and will die alone. He does talk and interact with other people in a number of ways but in a very primitive and biological way, man is essentially individual. Sitting alone for some time should not be unsettling or unnerving, like it sometime gets in our lives. In fact, giving some time only for ourselves could be one of the most enriching experiences ever if one tries to do so. And it can solve a lot of our problems. Problems which arise only because of our inability to stay alone with our thoughts.

If one can be content while sitting alone and don’t feel (or act on) the urge of checking what your friends are doing on social media or the urge to go out and shop and eat your favourite burger or pizza, a lot of our problems can just melt away. It can break the chains and bonds of normal life and we will longer need to be constantly busy just to match up with our peers and unnecessary comparison with others. Being busy, ironically, is the place where all our problems and stress arise out of.

I restore myself when I'm alone – Marilyn Monroe

If you think man is a social animal and cannot survive individually, think again. Man is not fish, and from time to time, he can (and should) get away from water (daily life). We will not die like fish if we spend some time out of water (alone). In fact, we can cherish our individuality and come back to our daily lives refreshed and replenished. A day spent alone from time to time will reduce the chatter of everyday life. You learn to listen to your thoughts, be aware of the different urges to be busy you will have, and then just let them be. And let me tell you, it is not easy to be alone. It can be very unsettling at first, and you can find many reasons to ‘do‘ something. But don’t let your ‘wanting-to-be-productive’ side deny you of your right to spend some time alone.

After some time, you learn to enjoy the quietness of things. You learn to notice the sounds of the birds chirping and the wind blowing. As the clutter of daily life melts away, you are left just with your inner thoughts. At this time, you will find yourself talking to yourself. It takes time getting used to, and you can always ignore your inner voice, but you must listen to it. Some quietness can leave with you with contentment, a new perspective, and a calmer attitude. In short, it can be amazing.

Solitude also makes us realize that our life is a blank slate with nothing in it, and it is our choice what we really want to paint it with. Our life is not about the tasks and the meetings we have all through the day which look unavoidable, but is about finding ourselves. Staying alone teaches us to be content with nothing and realizing that we can paint our life canvas the way we want. What would you call a person who is so busy reaching the destination that he never stops his car for refuelling?

Now what would you call the person who is so busy living life that she misses replenishing her own soul? We all need this refueling exercise of staying alone, and then we can take our life’s car wherever we want. So try sitting alone for some time, and just be quiet. Or perhaps take a long walk alone (like I do). Maybe start with small periods of time, and then increase the duration as you feel more comfortable with it. Just watch your thoughts in solitude but don’t act on them. Just listen, watch and be content. And you will soon realize you never needed anything more!

Feb 3, 2012
Are you Interested? or Are you Committed?

When one says he is committed to something, does it mean a trade? Does it mean that I will do this or that only if you do some other this or that? Does this commitment expect something in return from the other side? Will the commitment waver if one doesn’t get a response from the other side?

In my experiences over the years, I have realized that our aim should not, and cannot, be to make our commitment contingent on some external factor. If our commitment wavers because of a lack of response from the other side, then maybe that was not even commitment in the first place.

That is the difference between interest and commitment. If I am interested in some results, I will take steps to get that result. But it will be very easy to give up (in the case of interest) when circumstances turn averse or not as expected. We no longer see the interest getting fulfilled, so we have every reason to back out. Fair enough.

But a commitment is bigger, it is a promise you make to yourself (more than anybody else) and then there are no excuses, but only results that matter. For example, a mother has a commitment to her child, and she will even go hungry to feed her child. A mother doesn’t demand fairness from her son, she just loves her, for that is her commitment, irrespective of the situation or whatever obstacles life throws in front of her. As they say, any obstacle will have to go over her dead-body.

So how do we know if we are committed or just interested? Wait for the tough times as real commitment is only tested in the face of obstacles and conflicts, and that is what reveals the true character of all of us.

If we can let go of our attachment to the outcomes of our efforts and just focus on the fact that we are committed to doing our best, we are more likely to achieve success regardless of how the world shows up. It will always be tempting to give up when we don’t see the outcomes we expect, and that is the threshold of ‘interested‘ and beyond that, the world of ‘commitment‘ starts.

Every time we experience being upset, irritated or frustrated, we know our commitment is wavering. The question is, “Can we cross this threshold?“

And once we step into the world of commitment, we experience being calm, happy, at peace and confident, even in the face of harsh challenges. An interested person will get angry at an unexpected result, while a committed person will accept that fully, and take the next necessary action to stay committed to his goals without backing out.

If I reflect on my life, the times I thought were the toughest have given me the best lessons in life. I am really grateful for them for making me who I am today. These tough times have also taught me that we should not define success by the outcome of one’s results, but by the efforts being put in.

Being committed gives us the freedom of doing our best, yet be completely fine with the final result not being what we expected. No effort is a failure just because it doesn’t result in an expected outcome. It is a success if we gave our best!

If we notice carefully, this dilemma comes up in every area of our lives. Look at the things that frustrate you, or you got angry over? Were you interested or committed in that situation?

If commitment is present any setback would not last long. Be open to life’s little surprises, and experience its beauty when it does that. Allowing these surprises to happen without getting upset is one of the best things we can do to fulfill our commitments.

Interest vs Commitment

Jan 31, 2012
Bounce Like A Ball

What use is a ball which doesn't bounce? The same holds true for man

Pounce
On every gasp of wind!
Bounce
Like you have never sinned!!

Trounce
On all negativity around you!
Bounce
To make miracles come true!!

Renounce
Any pain and fear in your heart!
Bounce
Like every day is a new start!!

Denounce
All that is sad and unfair!
Bounce
And show the world you care!!

Announce
To the world who you are!
Bounce
Light all around like a star!!

Jan 26, 2012
Thank God It Is Monday

Most of the time we wait for Fridays, so much so that the phrase, “Thank God It’s Friday” is a popular slang used by people to welcome the weekend. But if we think deeply, it means we live our lives for just two days of the week and wait for this weekend from Monday to Friday… I would say a very negative way to live life where we believe that only two days out of seven are meant to enjoy life.

Don't let anybody else's definition of a Monday ruin a wonderful day today, create your own definition today

This phrase has become as much common as has “monday morning blues” which means monday is going to be another tough, boring day at work while the weekend is still away. It is often said that no one likes Mondays and it is very difficult to get out of bed on a Monday morning. And how do you think your Mondays will turn out when you wake up with such an attitude. Most often you will be late to office resisting that meeting or your boss, and everything starts to happen which you dreaded while waking up. Did you expect anything else to happen with such a defeatist attitude towards Mondays?

In different areas of our lives too, we have demarcated good and not-so-good periods which subconsciously affect our actions, even if we dont want them to… That is the power of language and the words we use in our lives. We say a lot of things without knowing and realizing that our words have tremendous power to shape reality. When we use phrases like Thank God It is Friday and Monday Morning Blues, we are unknowingly cursing our days.

Similarly, our words whether in spoken, written or in the form of thoughts have the power to transform the way we live, in a positive direction too. Using our words, we can instil hope, excitement, love and laughter in our days instead of fear, anger and hatred. So it is very important that we use the words we speak with care. Words can lift us up as well as drag us down. But the good news is that it is our choice how we want to use our words – to start new friendships or to start wars?

So as another week starts today, and another Monday awaits you. Go to work full of enthusiasm. Smile and greet everyone you meet today and give the gift of Monday to them too. Believe that you are going to do great work this week, and even the most difficult of tasks will seem easy.

Jan 23, 2012
Why I keep putting my fingers in the electric socket?

As a kid, I used to have a knack of putting my fingers in the electric sockets at home. Worse, as my parents have told me many times, I knew to turn on the switch before sliding my finger. My parents say they used to pull me, or block the sockets with tapes to prevent me getting electric shocks, but still I remember a few times I was left with burnt fingers. One incident which I very clearly remember is when I put two ends of a copper wire into a socket and turned the switch on. There were sparkles and cracking sounds which left me with black hands and shit scared. I think I escaped getting electrocuted that day because my little experiment took the fuse of the whole house with it. That was the LAST time I played with electric wires and sockets. Lesson well learnt.

So why am I telling you this story? Let me try to answer this with another question. Do you think my parents never told me that playing with electricity was dangerous? They did, but I never listened. Well, until that day when I had black fingers to show and a lot of sparkling to wreak havoc with the house fuse. But I never repeated the act after that. Because I had scars to show for my mistake and I have learned my lesson well.

I just want to show off my scar proudly and not be afraid of it. – Carly Simon

So here is the point – The lessons we learn best are the ones those leave us with scars to show. Without the scar, there is no incident ingrained in our memory (like I remember this incident even after 25 years). Without the scar, it is like the event never happened. You can learn about things by reading books, watching videos or doing any alternate learning, but nothing can match learning by directly being in action. Because when you read a book, there are no consequences of a ‘mistake‘ you just read about, so in a way nothing was learnt at all. You can remember a book and its lessons for a few days, but you will never forget a lesson which has a personal imprint in your memory because it had consequences (a scar, a burnt hand, or whatever).

The habit to be safe looks good and noble on the outside, but it very dangerous. Let me explain why? Any lesson learnt from somebody else’s mistake makes you miss the most important part of learning, which is seeking answers to your questions. We all have numerous questions as a kid, but in an attempt to act safe, we rarely ask the questions when we grow up and miss the chance to become stronger and better prepared for the future. (that doesn’t mean you jump into fire to see if it is hot or not)

Lessons learned from a painful experience can hurt, but they are necessary. You can’t learn from a lecture how it feels to race your bike and then fall down on the road. Only when you feel the pain in your bones and see your blood when your skin scratches against the road, you will learn the lesson properly as there is pain, fear and you can feel your heart beats right to your core. No book can replace that feeling.

Why you should keep putting your fingers in the socket too?

There is a process of life – of trying something new, finding hurdles, getting hurt, trying again and then succeeding and moving on to bigger hurdles. Through this cycle only people change the world, start new companies, and do the unthinkable. Don’t break this cycle by reading about how to avoid getting hurt. Find your hurdles and then learn your lessons in overcoming it. That curiosity and desire within all of us is the seed of something big. When we act safe, we kill that seed and never give it a chance to blossom into a beautiful flower.

Let that seed grow. Stop being safe and expand the size of the tasks you take on. And it is not something we have to learn new, because as kids we all do that. We jump a distance, then try bigger and bigger distances. Obviously there will be some pain to feel and some scars to show. Do you have any scars to show which resulted in some achievement in your childhood? Do you have some stories revolving around your scars which you tell people with pride?

You are grown up now and are more mature. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t stop you from going out and playing bigger games. Get some new scars to be proud of, some new memories to share, and some new lessons for the future. You need to feel the pain as long you are alive. Without the pain, there is no joy. And without pain and joy, there is no life.

Jan 10, 2012
10 Things Not to Do in the New Year

I can without doubt say that 2011 was my best year ever, and I am grateful for a lot of things which happened this past year. As we all move ahead into the new year 2012, I want to list out ten things which we all should not do in the years and decades ahead. As human beings there are so many habits ingrained in our behavior which we don’t even realize. Some of these habits help us in moving forward, while others stop us from realizing our true potential. It takes a lot of conscious effort to break free of these habits or patterns. Hence this list of ten points below are those habits which I am going to stop doing –

1. Stop Running From Our Problems

It is very easy to shut our eyes during a problem, blame someone else or the situation and look in the other direction. In the new year, we should face these problems head on and stop running from them. We should aim to learn, adapt and solve the problems over a period of time. But we shall not close our eyes and assume the problem is no longer there. In the process, we will realize that we have become a better human being.

2. Stop Try Becoming What we are Not

Do you think you are stuck in the wrong job? Or are you trying very hard to please your parents or your spouse? Or are you working day and night to match up to your peers? Stop that. NOW. Each one of us is unique, and the sooner we realize that it is better. It makes no sense in trying to become a person that someone else wants us to be. Instead, let us realize our own uniqueness and do what we love and in the way we want to do it. Break these chains, and only then will we experience freedom.

Do you have Not To-Do list in 2012?

3. Stop Holding on to the Past

An event which happened one second ago is as much in the past as another which happened ten years ago. Whatever has happened is over and we never have any control over that? Good or bad, success or failure – past is past. Period. There is no point feeling guilty or repenting over past mistakes. Similarly, there is no point boasting over our past successes. What matters is what we are doing now… So let us stop living in the past in 2012, and take the steps to make the most of every moment.

4. Stop Being Scared

Pluck those ‘ifs‘ and ‘buts‘ out of your life (and your vocabulary) and act brave, for a change. Most of our fears are over estimated while at the same time we all have a tendency to under estimate our own capabilities. So stop being scared as nothing bad is going to happen to you if you go ahead with your dreams. The only thing that will happen is that you will feel alive, maybe a little discomfort as you expand your comfort zone, but you will experience what it is to really live.

5. Stop Wasting the Best Years of our Life

I am 28 now, and I know these are the best years of my life. This is the best time to do anything as the body is still young while the mind is mature and more wise from the past mistakes and lessons. So I am not going to waste these years working in a job which I don’t like. Don’t postpone your travel plans around the world (or any other dreams of yours) to a later time. Let me tell you, later never comes. Fix a date, and go do it. We can never get back any time we let go. So buckle up and do what you want before your body gives out.

6. Stop Waiting for Big Things

Are you waiting for that promotion, or for getting that big idea that will change your life? We all live our lives planning and dreaming about big success, but the real joy is in the small things while we move towards our goals. We must always aim big, but should never sacrifice happiness for achievement. The journey is the real reward and not as much the destination. So take a moment to realize the world around you, the people in your life, and make sure to give the best of yourself to everyone around you.

7. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Enough of feeling sorry or crappy about ourselves. Complaining and feeling we are not capable is a very easy way to escape our responsibilities. It only gives us a reason to not work and not being accountable for our own life. Instead realize that everything that happened has made you the person that you are, and so will everything in the future. Don’t have any regrets because life didn’t turn out for as we wanted, or a certain person didn’t act out as we expected. Only when we let go of the life that we have planned for ourselves we can be ready for the life waiting for us.

8. Stop Trying to Control Everything

We human beings take great joy in controlling things and situations. But life in its most inherent form has always been unpredictable. We have controlled a lot of things in the modern society for our ease and comfort, but trying to control everything is a futile exercise. We can never control (after an extent) how life will act out, and life’s beauty is in its unpredictability. Stop trying to second guess the future, because you will not be happy when life shocks you, which it will. In 2012, let us be ready with open arms for the surprises in life, both the positive and negative ones.

9. Stop Blaming Others

What has happened in our life, what we did or did not do, happened because of us and not because of any him, her or the situation. Let us take responsibility for our choices and decisions. We must always be ready for the consequences of our decisions and stop putting the blame on life or on someone else. Your life starts with YOU and it will end with YOU.

10. Stop Being Unthankful

Each day is a gift and nobody knows how many more we have. In the pursuit of our big dreams, we should never forget the joy of being alive. Be thankful of each day, of each breath we take, and of the various other small things in life which often go unnoticed. Say thanks to the people who have made a mark in our life and who we know will stand with us no matter what.

So make this new year count. It doesn’t matter if the previous years counted or not. It doesn’t matter whether we are young or old. The only thing that matters is the present moment, and your resolve to make it count. So go out, and do what you like. Make mistakes and learn from them. Enjoy the richness and beauty of the world, even if it means getting hurt sometimes. We all have only one life, and let’s not save anything for the next one. Happy New Year!!

Jan 3, 2012
My Top 15 Favorite Blog Posts of 2011

I have written many articles and poems in this year and it was a wonderful experience being able to write regularly all through the year. What’s more satisfying is that how well some of my articles have been received and shared over the internet! As 2011 draws to an end, I am writing this post to highlight my favorite 15 posts which I wrote in the year 2011.

1. 10 Things I am glad I had done (or do) in my life

I wrote this post in the beginning of the year on Jan 20, and has remained my favorite ever since. I often read this post again and again to measure myself against the 10 points I wrote in this article.

2. Only If You Knew

What if you are a poor and illiterate child who is exploited by the world around you and have no idea how to fight it? What do you say to the normal human being going about his life chasing his dreams and making his mark in the world? This poem is imagined from this little poor child to the average middle class Indian.

3. What is Jan Lokpal Bill?

I wrote this post before most of the country has heard of the Jan Lokpal Bill or Anna Hazare, on 12 March 2011. It was a chance encounter with IAC during the Dandi March 2 in Bangalore that I came to know about it, and wrote an article on it. That article later got widely popular as Anna Hazare fever caught on to the whole nation. See the number of shares (2000+) and the number of comments (200+) this article has got.

4. Why God Made Mothers?

Will not say much about it, just that I wrote this poem as a tribute to every mother and her undying love for her kid.

5. How letting go of SaleRaja could be one of my best decisions ever?

Very often we put in a lot of effort in something only to see it fail or not work out as expected. I wrote this post recalling a similar experience which I had with SaleRaja and how difficult was it for me for it to let go. But once I made the decision, there were so many things waiting for me which I could not see earlier. Read this post to realize that sometimes you have to let go of the life you have planned for yourself to get what life has planned for us.

6. What I learned when Deepali said “Theek Theek Laga Lo” 🙂

In April, I remembered an old incident which happened when I was in InfoEdge in Noida and wrote a post about it. It highlights the importance of having fun at the workplace and how we can do much more productive work in a fun environment rather than being serious all day.

7. Messenger of Hope

As the whole country got behing Anna Hazare during his fast unto death in April, I wrote this poem highlighting how Anna has come as our Messenger of Hope.

8. Never sacrifice happiness for achievement

An article I wrote in May highlighting the importance of enjoying and cherishing every minute of the journey while we go toward our destination. It is about how we should start living in the NOW and enjoy whatever we are doing.

Wishing a very Happy New Year 2012 to all of you

9. Don’t allow yourself to use the word “tired”

I wrote this post stressing on the importance of language and the words we use in our daily conversations. And one of the quickest ways to improve your way of being is to change the words you use, to others and to yourself too.

10. 5 Benefits of Early Morning Exercise You Don’t Know

We all know the benefits of early morning exercise to our health. But I wrote this post to highlight some other benefits from getting up early and exercising. Like how it is a personal victory to start your day, how it gives us free time later in the day and keeps us stress free and feeling confident which eventually impacts every other area of our life too.

11. Why Will I Not Trade Any Year of My Career for even a MIT / Harvard Degree?

One of my favorite posts, I wrote this one taking a look back at 6 years of my professional career. I take a look at a few things which didn’t span out as expected, and how I am glad for those as I found new directions and ways to walk on at those unforeseen turns. I also highlight how much I have changed in the last 6 years, yet remaining the same person at the core. Must read…

12. Its Part of The Game

A poem about the fact that how everything is part of the game. That how life’s successes and failures are just two sides of the same coin and that there is no reason to be upset or dejected at the failures. Instead we must take the lessons from them and continue playing the game.

13. 7 Lessons from SaleRaja and other start-ups I have been associated with

Here are seven important points I would like to share with one and all who might be interested in starting a web based business based on my experiences. Some of the points are being passionate, prioritizing stuff, having fun while working and working with people smarter than yourself who share the same value system.

14. Why we should break the Safety Wall around us (to be Happy)

I wrote this article on my birthday. It highlights the need to get out of our comfort zone for us to be really happy and fully experience life. Most of the the times we thing being comfortable is being happy, but if we got in the world totally vulnerable to risks and still being able to dream big, we will realize what being alive and happy is really all about. Don’t just read this article, do it to believe it!

15. She is my dearest

A different poem from what I usually write, this is one of my favorite poems I wrote this year. Will not say much about it, just read it 🙂

I know I said I would give the 15 top blog posts but while I am at it, I found four more (and anyways, I am not much for rules) which I would like to share with you. So here you go with the 4 bonus posts below –

Is the Innovation ladder leaning against the right wall?

In this article I have tried to bring out the gap between the areas where all the technology driven innovation is happening and where the real need it. I have tried to impress upon the point that “Are we innovating for solving the right problems?”

I Sent You

A poem I wrote in September about a confused young man who looks to God to answer many of his questions. And how God replies to his doubts!

How to write regularly, and get better at it in 10 easy steps

After writing so much in all of 2011, I decide to share my experience with my readers. In this post I list 10 important points I think will help anybody write regularly.

The Two Kinds of Choices and Decisions

This was a post I wrote just last month about the two kinds of choices we have to make in our life, and how both types of choices are very important. There is only one way we can move ahead in life and that is by choosing its choices, whether we make it or when life chooses a path for us.

Dec 23, 2011
In Love, All Over Again

(As imagined from a man willing to fall in love again with the girl of his dreams, even after loving her all life long.)

All Over Again

Every time I see you,
I feel I am going insane!
You make me want to,
Go and sing in the rain!!

I love hearing your voice,
Even if I have nothing to say!
It gives me a reason to rejoice,
Even if you are miles away!!

When your hand touches mine,
I feel a rush of blood to the head!
The feeling seems almost divine,
I can’t wait to see what’s ahead!!

There is no sight better,
Than seeing you smile!
The sound of your laughter,
Makes it all worthwhile!!

I know together we belong,
And a lot is ours to attain!
After loving you all lifelong,
I can fall for you all over again!!

Dec 20, 2011
Six Indians who will not be with us in 2012

Another year is coming to an end. As 2011 says good-bye for ever and we welcome 2012, let’s take a look at who all 2011 took with it. I can distinctly remember the passing away of some great personalities this year, who will forever be missed in the years to come. There are people from all walks of life – from art, sports, technology and bollywood who were luminaries in their respective fields but are no more with us today.

The Elvis Presley of India

Shammi Kapoor

The original ‘yahoo‘ man, the youth icon of the 60s, Shammi Kapoor was as famous for his boyish looks and trademark dance movies as he was for his acting. Some of his most famous movies were Tumsa Nahi Dekha, Dil Deke Dekho, Professor, China Town, Junglee, Kashmir Ki Kali, and Brahmachari, among others. He was often hailed as the ‘Elvis Presley‘ of India. Later in this life, he also appeared in a lot of character roles and those were always well received. His demise has certainly left a big gap in Indian cinema.

MF Hussain

Often called India’s Picasso, he was without doubt the best artist ‘in the country‘, which is actually ironical as he spent his last years outside the country due to controversies over his paintings. While the Indian leaders called his death a ‘national loss‘, they were unable to promise him security from death threats from right wing Hindu activists. He was one of the first Indian artists to command huge respect and prices for his paintings in the international scene. His paintings were known for his understanding of the human situation, and how he portrayed the same in paint. He had received awards like Padma Shri, Padma Bhushan and Padma Vidhushan from the Indian government.

Youngest Test Captain of India

MAK Pataudi

Every now and then a man dies leading to countrywide mourning of unknown magnitude. It amazed me to watch the whole country, and so many politicians, former cricketers and bollywood legends mourning his passing away recently. There are many stories about he applied his cricketing brain to use to fox the opponents as a captain and how he batted with only one eye. Noted historian and cricket writer Mukul Kesavan, writing about Pataudi said: “He wasn’t just the Nawab of Pataudi – he was a Tiger. For us it wasn’t just a name, it was an attitude”

Jagjit Singh

He was the ghazal king of India. Young or old, I can bet you have heard and cherished listening to his ghazals. He transformed the way ghazals were sung, and he brought them into the mainstream from just being a ‘niche‘ earlier. He has sung in Hindi, Punjabi, Urdu, Bengali, Sindhi, Gujarati and Nepali. His music for films like Prem Geet, Arth and Saath Saath was well known. He composed and recorded songs for over 80 albums in a career spanning over five decades.

Jagjit Singh – The Ghazal King

Dev Anand

Just as losing the above four legends was not enough, the Evergreen Romantic Superstar of Indian Cinema Dev Anand passed away on 3rd December at the age of 88. He had millions of fans in his career which span a whopping 65 years. He was known for his youthfulness, style and good looks. He has been awarded the Padma Bhushan by the government of India and also got the Dadasaheb Phalke Award in 2002. He acted in movies like Guide (his most famous), C.I.D., Kala Pani, Pocketmaar, Tere Ghar Ke Saamne, Asli Naqli, Jewel Thief, Prem Pujari, Hare Rama Hare Krishna and Banarasi Babu. He continued to make films and act in them till his death, with his last movie being Chargesheet this year itself.

Bhupen Hazarika

He was a film maker, a lyricist, a singer, a poet and a political activist, all rolled into one. His career spanned over 70 years in which he put Assamese cinema on the map and in 1992, he was awarded the Dada Saheb Phalke award. His songs often touched on important social issues and always promoted justice and empathy. People like Hazarika might no longer exist in bodily form, but their memories will forever remain with us in the form of their work, whether it is Harazika’s songs, Dev Sahab’s acting, Shammi Kapoor’s dancing to songs like Suku Suku, or the paintings of MF Hussain.

Some other luminaries who passed away this year are Steve Jobs, Dennis Ritchie, Joe Frazier, Sathya Sai Baba and Elizabeth Taylor.

Dec 15, 2011
The Value of a Smile

“It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away. And if in the last-minute rush of the business-day, some of our colleagues should be too tired to give a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours? For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!” – Anonymous

You're never fully dressed without a smile. ~Martin Charnin

I think the above quote is enough for achieving the goal of this article, but let me add something in my words. According to me, our smile is the best asset we have, and we are never going to run out of it, irrespective of how rich or poor, happy or miserable we are. It is something which can make each day beautiful, for us and also for those around us.

I feel that life will always give us many reasons to be sad and unhappy, but it is our choice and decision whether to stay sad or not. It is a matter of choice and not of situation that we smile or frown. It is said that a child smiles 400 times per day. Now think about how many times we genuinely smile (don’t count the plastic smiles) each day, and by comparing our count to 400, we will get a measure of our happiness.

When we smile, it brings out the best in us. In a way, you can relate smiling to being in a state of real joy and love, just like a child. A child has no worries about the world and fully experiences whatever he/she does. By smiling more often, we can often connect with the child within all of us who has been over-shadowed by the various tensions and pressures of this world.

Smiling makes everything easier for us. Try to smile and be sad at the same time. If you keep smiling, it will be very difficult for anybody to make you sad. It is the best first impression you can make on anybody. It can open closed doors for you as it can dissolve tension in any room and leave everybody with a feeling of peace and warmth.

And a smiling face rarely goes unnoticed. Have you ever noticed that it is very difficult not to smile back at a smiling face. It is one of the most pleasurable moments when somebody smiles back at you. So smile at your kids when you go home today, smile (and laugh) with your colleagues at work during a serious meeting, and if you really want to test it, smile at someone who is angry at you, either on the roads or at your work. More often that not, that person will smile back at you, and you can be proud of the gift you just gave him (and yourself).

Dec 9, 2011
10 Things I am thankful for in the year 2011

As another year (2011) nears to an end, it’s time to look back at what all I did (or didn’t do) this year, and what were the various joys, sorrows, mistakes and lessons over the last 11 months. When I look back, I realize that 2011 has been nothing but amazing for me. The kind of things I have done in this year, I would not have even imagined on Jan 1 this year, and I am totally excited by what I see is in store for me for the next year.

In this article, I am going to list 10 things or people to whom I am grateful for in the year gone by :-

1. My Family

This year brought our whole family (all 4 of us) together in Bangalore after many years, and specially after the last two years when the four of us where living in three different cities. My brother moved to Bangalore with Wipro and my parents are also here with me for the time being, making the last 5 months very good as a family. We have shared a lot of time together, went out to places like Mysore and Shivasamudra, which were perhaps the first by us as a family in around 20 years.

2. Bangalore

I completed three years in Bangalore recently, and I can’t be more grateful to this wonderful city and the amazing people here. As an article on FirstPost remarked, “Bangalore’s true, enduring grace is her people: Unselfconsciously and warmly cosmopolitan and broad-minded; intellectual and cultured without pretension or design; easygoing and friendly because they have nothing to prove – to you or the Joneses. Bangalore and Bangaloreans let you just be.” Thank You Bangalore..

A big thank you to all those who are reading this 🙂

3. Anna Hazare & IAC

It was only by chance that I got associated with Anna Hazare and the IAC movement in March this year while organizing the Dandi March in Bangalore. This was before any of his two fasts unto death this year, and even I heard his name for the first time then. What amazed me was the kind of group Anna Hazare, Kiran Bedi, Arvind Kejriwal and others have formed all over the country and how the country reacted to his fight against corruption. The sight of people on the roads with tricolor in their hands and holding candle light vigils in every Indian city was very heartening to see. I also got an opportunity to meet and listen to a lot of amazing people like Santosh Hedge, Kiran Bedi, among many others during this year. Thank You Anna Hazare, Thank You IAC, Thank You India.

4. Pick a Fight Team

It was during the Dandi March and the first fast by Anna Hazare in April, that the seeds of Pick a Fight were born. In the coming months, we started operations in Bangalore working with a few NGOs, and now have teams in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi. There have been some amazing people who have come out to be a part of this team and I want to thank all of them, especially Anupama, for their efforts in making this world a better place. I am also grateful to people from various NGOs like Gift Your Organ, Beyond Carlton and other orphanages and old age homes which we have visited. These people have inspired me with the amazing work they are doing. Thank you all!!

5. Friends

I have made some amazing friends this year from all walks of life and I am grateful to all of them for making this year a wonderful one for me. I especially want to thank Kinshuk and Tripti, talking to whom has always been a revelation. Tripti joined Yahoo this year to again become a colleague after InfoEdge and I have always admired her wisdom and valuable advice. Kinshuk, despite being in New York, has never seemed away and talking to him always make me feel that he knows me better than I know myself. Thanks for those long hours of talks we have had over phone over various subjects, ranging from business ideas to ‘cant-write-here’ stuff 😉 I also want to thank all my other friends from Delhi, my college friends in Bangalore, and various other people whom I have made friends this year.

6. Yahoo – the Good

Working in Yahoo was my first experience of working in a truly global company, and it was a much needed exposure I got. I got to talk to people and work with teams from the US, UK, France adding to Brazil and Singaporean people with whom I interacted with last year. I also got a lot of ideas and understanding about how business and teams work across different time-zones, cultures and languages.

7. My Blog sumit4all.com

I really started to enjoy my writing this year, and according to my readers, my writing itself has got a lot refined and better this year. I can see the evidence in the fact that some posts have got really popular and shared well on different social networks. I am also left with so much joy after seeing various comments on the blog and hearing from many different people how they have enjoyed reading my articles and poems. I am grateful to all of my readers.

8. Health

I don’t know what is the affinity of cancer with my family, but I see it everywhere in my family, both from paternal and maternal sides. It has taken away many people away from our family, and even in my home it gives a guest appearance every now and then, the last time being last year. So I was glad I didn’t had to see any more of it this year, and everybody in my family is healthy. Even my own health this year has been the best it had been in many many years, and I am really grateful for it.

9. Yahoo – the Not So Good

Obviously, working in a big corporate environment means you have to go through the usual bull-shit of office politics, long and boring meetings and mundane work happening at slow speeds. For somebody like me who has worked in startups for most of his career, this culture at Yahoo got a little frustrating at times. But I am really grateful for this too as it seems to be pushing me where I truly belong, at a startup, either mine or of another entrepreneur. Thank you Yahoo, for both the good and the not-so-good parts…

10. Rahul Dravid

OK. This had to come on this list. I am a big fan of cricket, and especially Test Cricket and Rahul Dravid. Seeing him this in the prime of his form, scoring runs all around the world while the whole team struggled has been anything but pure bliss. Thank you Rahul Dravid for the visual treat which watching your batting is, and which has been visible in plenty as you marvelously scored your 1000 runs in Test Match cricket this year.

I am not sure living gratefully is unselfish or the most selfish thing you can do. In the moments when I receive gratitude, for a caring gesture or a little act of help, I feel wonderful. I propose all of us end this year by being grateful for the various people and incidents which have made a difference in our lives this year.

Nov 29, 2011
Five more lessons from Peaceful Warrior

As I wrote in my previous article on Peaceful Warrior and the lessons from it, I watch this movie quite often. It tend to dissolve my doubts and questions and give me a new insight every time I watch it. And there is a lot more to learn from this movie than what I wrote in that article. Hence in this article I am penning down five more lessons to be learnt from it.

Knowledge and Wisdom

One of the most important phrases in Peaceful Warrior is “Knowledge is knowing, wisdom is doing it“. It highlights that knowledge and wisdom are not the same. We might have all the knowledge in the world, but it is only worth if we apply it in the real world. And that is wisdom. Most of us know exercising is good for health, smoking is bad for health, and so on. But how many of us apply this knowledge into actions. We can learn and gather knowledge, but the same is not true for wisdom. Wisdom is for the soul whereas knowledge is for the mind.

Be Here, and experience this Moment fully NOW

Learn to Meditate in Every Action

This movie depicts that a Peaceful Warrior learns to meditate in every action of his day to day life. Meditation is not really about going to the Himalayas and sitting in peace but learning to fully experience each and every moment of our busy and turbulent lives. Meditating in this way helps us to slow down the pace of our life while being able to fully experience the love and joy in the smallest of things, like the sound of birds, the different smells around us, or the different people we see.

Not knowing is a Great Realization

In the movie, Nick Nolte says that not knowing is a great realization. It is a very ambiguous statement but at the same time, very powerful. There will be times in our lives when we will not know what is happening or which direction our life is heading. This ‘not knowing‘ phase is perfectly ok to be in, and it is during this phase that we often make great discoveries about our life and its purpose. There is a popular quote by Joseph Campbell which sums up this point wonderfully well, “You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.”

Live and Decide Consciously

Many of the times, we live on auto-pilot. We normally take our decisions based on some set rules or customs and rarely use our rational mind. We must always be conscious about our choices and then responsible for the consequences. We are very good at taking a decision because of the norm and then blaming the norms when things didn’t go well. When we take a decision, we must be brave enough to own its outcomes, both positive or negative. And we must really strive to make each decision we take our ‘own‘.

Life is a Mystery, Dont Waste Time Trying to Figure it Out

Nick Nolte says in the movie, “The mind is just a reflex organ. It reacts to everything. Fills your head with millions of random thoughts a day. None of those thoughts reveal any more about you than a freckle does at the end of your nose.” It might look like a simple statement, but it has a very deep message too. That we are not our thoughts. Our mind is always filled with guilt about some past mistake, blame for others or just worries about the past or the future. But realizing that this is not us but only a function of our mind can give all of us freedom.

Now that I look at what I have written, I think I can write down even five more lessons (or words of insight) from this movie. But I will leave it to another time and article. You will certainly have to watch this movie multiple times to discover the different hidden messages in the words of Nick Nolte. Everytime I watch it, I get something new based on what my mindset and life situation is at that time.

Nov 24, 2011
The Two Kinds of Choices and Decisions

Life throws us many choices at different times. When we pass school, we have a choice of college. After college, we have a choice of jobs. And so on. How we take decisions based on these choices decide what future results we will reap, and the consequences we might have to bear. All choices can be broadly classified into two types, one with multiple options and one without such privilege.

Let me explain further. Decisions like choosing a college or a job, or buying new shoes are the ones where we have multiple choices. We might choose between two or more colleges, and then based on some reasons and criteria, we decide on one. In such choices, we actually use our rational minds, measure the pros and cons of each option, and then choose the one which suits us better. For example – when I had to buy my bike, I took a look at Bullet, Thunderbird, Machismo and the Bajaj Avenger. Then, based on criteria like money, reason of buying, my ability to handle the bike, I decided which one to buy and went ahead and bought the Royal Enfield Thunderbird.

But life presents us with another kind of a choice too. The one where there is only one option. Yes, you read it right. Only one option. And we have to choose it, whether we like it or not, whether our reasons or criteria are met or not. There is no other way. If we choose it, we can be happy for what life has given us, be glad for it and look ahead into the future. If we don’t accept it, we can keep fighting with ourselves or with life, but there is no way out as there is no other option.

Now if I have confused you, that was not my intention. Let me explain by giving an example. Some of us are born in rich households, some of us in poor. When we are born, life says “Here are your parents, choose them!!”. It doesn’t present you options of what kind of parents you want, so that you can choose between a few of them. There is only one option, whether you like it or not. Now it is up to us to accept it or not, but that doesn’t change anything?

You might say that this is not a choice. It is something fixed which we can’t change, and I can’t put it under choices. You might even say that a choice is only when we have multiple options. My take is that even here there are two options, to accept it or not to do so. However this acceptance doesn’t change anything as we can’t change what life has chosen for us. The only thing our acceptance changes is how we move ahead in the future.

The most difficult choices are those when there is only one option for us

Let me give one more example. My mom is a cancer patient. I didn’t want her to have cancer. Nobody would. But life threw this at me, “Your mother has cancer. Choose!“. That shook me, and I couldn’t accept it at all. How can this happen to me? How can this happen to my mother? I blamed one and all, got angry and frustrated, and just couldn’t believe what all was happening? I believewe all have been in such situations where we don’t know what hit us. And we don’t know how to react. Why? Because there is no other option!!

Yes, no other option. Life has chosen this option for us, and presented us with a choice to accept it or not. But the option (cancer and our parents) is ours to keep. We can do nothing to change that. We can give reasons, fight or blame whomever we want, but we can’t choose another option as there is none. The only option we have is to accept it or not. And we must choose, even in this case. Let me explain why?

When I could not choose the fact that my mother has cancer, I was angry, frustrated, sad and dejected at the same time. This doesn’t change the reality a bit, but it impacted me, my surroundings and the people around me. All this frustration might have been coming out of my want to have a good life and caring for my mother, but it ended up doing the opposite. By being resentful, I only made things worse. For myself, and for others around me.

It took me a long time to finally choose this. And when I did, there were no questions like why or how to answer. There was complete freedom. Now I am able to spend quality time with my mother (knowing that it might be scarce), and also am able to find the best possible treatment option for her. But all that was not possible until I had completely chosen it. There was a new found peace, and all the things which mattered to me, my health, joy in life and giving my best to my mother, all automatically fell into place.

It might be difficult to grasp as a concept, but it is a fact. Sometimes life will take away a loved one, sometimes you will suddenly meet an accident and suffer heavy injuries, and the best we can do at that time is to happily choose them with faith.

That doesn’t mean that I would want myself to get injured, or want a loved one to die, but at the same time, it is only wise to realize when life has made a choice for us. There is only one way we can move ahead in life and that is by choosing such choices. Or else we will be stuck in life while time moves on, and this causes friction. And this friction shows up as anger, sadness, blame and resentment. Choose it and you will be free and start moving ahead with peace and freedom.

Nov 17, 2011
People are the best investment

Throughout my life, I have seen my parents struggle for money due to some business decisions gone wrong or for health reasons. Due to this, we never had money to spend on anything which was ‘not necessary‘. Most of what my parents earned were spent in our (the two brothers) education and other long term investments, and rarely on movies, entertainment or traveling. Maybe due to this lack of financial resources, all of us made up for that by focussing on little things like spending quality time together, always helping anyone who is in need and getting connected with people on a personal level. I have seen and observed my father chatting and getting along very well with one and all. I very vividly remember my father taking me to his office sometimes and everybody, from the security guard to the peon to the street vendors outside to the receptionist inside, greeting him warmly. It felt like my father was friends with everyone in the building. This article is about people, and how they are the best investment opportunity for us.

Acknowledging and Greeting

Normally, as we go through our life we tend to focus only on what is important and ignore everything else. Think about how many people we passed through today from the time we left our home till we reached office. And to how many of these people did we stopped and said “Good Morning”. It is such a simple thing to do, and a good morning wish leaves both parties smiling, still we ignore it most of the times. Very often we forget that how good it feels when somebody appreciates us and believes in our abilities. So isn’t it natural that we should thrive to do the same to others?

It Always Come Back

We invest our time and money in our jobs, stocks, mutual funds and real estate. We buy cars, phones and other gadgets and take pride in owning them. But I have always believed that the best investment we can make in are people. You might or might not get your returns from the stock market or the real estate market, but investing in people always come back. If somebody needs our time and attention, nothing can be a bigger investment for us to help that person with honesty and compassion. There is no better sight in this world than seeing somebody smile and knowing that we are the reason behind it, that we could be of some help. And even if we talk in terms of returns, investment on people always tend to come back in life, and in proportions we can’t imagine. I am a witness to how many different unknown people have come forward to help my parents in times of need, without even their asking for it.

Myself and friends at Noida in 2008

It is a Challenge, but a Very Rewarding One

Now it is easy to say that we must invest in people, but it can get really challenging and daunting in real life. Many times we will come across people who are very easy to ignore, or who trigger our temper and we might want to shout and yell at them. But on the other hand, empowering someone and taking time to listen to them can sometimes surprise even them. Many a time people will realize this and thank you for the extra effort you are putting, and that is always a very rewarding experience.

Have Fun, make Them Laugh

If we try to remember the times when we have been angry, upset, frustrated or just unhappy, we will realize that we have been taking things too seriously. All the life’s so called problems occur mostly when we are lost in a moment and lose the bigger perspective. If we look at things in perspective, an annoying boss in office might not be as important in the picture of your ‘whole life‘ as important as we might have made him/her. So it’s always good to loosen up, and treat people as human beings first, rather than good or bad resources. Have some fun, crack some jokes and laugh. For many, this period of fun might be the best part of their day, and you can be glad you were a part of it.

Be Genuine, Truthful and Trustworthy

All what I have written above is not some trick and people are smart enough to find out whether you genuinely mean your affection or if you are bluffing. So what I am advocating is to really become the person who cares about others, whom others can trust and who doesn’t break promises. It takes effort to ingrain these features in our character, but if we can do that, we will reap the rewards. As I said before, compared to our bank balance, stock portfolio or real estate, if our investment in people start giving results, it can dwarf all other investments we might have.

Nov 14, 2011
You Can’t Take Anything, but Can Give a Lot

What do we want in life,
A lot of money would be good!
For that will help us buy,
Clothes, cars and good food!!

A big house would also be nice,
With the best of interior decoration!
We want a nice green garden outside,
And a few guards at the gate of our mansion!!

We spend our whole life,
Chasing money for all these stuff!
But when we die we go alone,
LOL, for life has played its big bluff!!

It is fact we all go alone,
There is nothing ours to take away!
But there is a lot to give,
If we choose to look at life that way!!

We all have within us treasures,
Of love, kindness, joy and hope!
Our best resource is our smile,
Give it and nothing is out of scope!!

Giving love and joy never cost us,
Yet it enriches those who receive!
It creates happiness, joy and friends,
And it can cause miracles you won’t believe!!

Nov 11, 2011