I am personally against the idea of God and the existence of a super being. Yet I am writing this article about the importance of keeping faith, be it faith in your religion and God, in life itself, or in yourself. Life can be strange, and it can make people change, and it has been the same with me. I have always been flexible and ready to change myself and my thinking about any aspect of life, and the last couple of years have certainly made an impact in the area of faith.
I was a god-fearing and ritual-following kid in my childhood. I can still recall a few instances where I followed superstitious rituals without questioning them only because my family used to follow them. But as I started to grow up, I saw my parents struggle in their finances, health, and business, day after day, year after year. I witnessed my father starting and closing down one business after another, and saw him being deceived by good friends and business partners. I saw my mother doing everything from handling multiple jobs, teaching us brothers and taking care of the entire household only to get sick with asthma, arthritis and later cancer. And all this while they had complete faith in GOD. This was enough to break my faith in the existence of God or any super being.
But I now think that I was too naive back then to understand the deeper meaning in what all was happening. All these years of struggle have made my parents what they are today. The tough times were life’s tests which made them stronger. And what I totally missed was how this childhood shaped me. It made me tougher, mature, and filled me with a desire to take on challenges in life continuously. And perhaps my childhood is the reason for my compassion and empathy towards the less privileged and weaker sections of our society.
Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death
Life is a series of steps and milestones. Important events, whether positive or negative, mark these steps and our lives take a turn in a new direction. We always welcome the positive events, like marriage, a new job, or profits in business. But more often than not, we regret the negative events like the death of a near one, some major illness or some financial loss. We hold onto them and blame ourselves, others, situations, and sometimes even God.
What we forget is that everybody goes through these tough times. When we are going through these times, it is very easy to loose perspective and see only ourselves as the victim. In such times, having faith is very important. The faith which tells us to hold on, to keep our cool and maintain our strength and to wait patiently for better times. Even these negative events always have something positive in them, which we can not see at that point in time.
My mother says that cancer was the best thing that happened to her, but she never thought about it this way when doctors broke the news to her. But her treatment brought us closer as a family and helped clear a lot of doubts and misconceptions about many different people. It also made her see her priorities clearly as death was staring her in the face. It was only from her faith in God that she could gather the courage to fight cancer and emerge victorious, and three times at that. Similarly, we might not always be able to see the good coming our way in the future during a mishap or a disaster. We just have to keep our faith alive to be ready for whatever future riches life has in store for us.
As Steve Jobs said in his famous Stanford commencement speech, it is impossible to connect the ‘dots‘ looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backwards. And so, in times of crises, it is very important to have faith that the dots will somehow connect in the future. The faith and trust could be in your destiny, God, life, karma or whatever.
For me, life was kind of shallow all those years I had lost faith. Each setback used to seem like a big conspiracy against me. And as humans, it is very easy to get into this mindset. And we only end up destroying our chances of future successes by holding on to these so-called setbacks. In Hindi, there is a popular saying, “Jo Hota Hai Achhe Ke Liye Hi Hota Hai“.. Now I realize it is not without reason we keep on hearing it so often from our elders.
We have seen a tremendous response to the peaceful protests triggered by Anna Hazare’s indefinite fast. People from all over the country, and even Indians living abroad, have shown their support for Anna Hazare and Jan Lokpal Bill by peacefully assembling and holding protest marches. He has united India across religions, caste, language or any other divisive factor. It is heartening to see India united for something other than cricket.
The number of people who have protested have been humungous by any standards. In Delhi and Mumbai each, more than a lakh people marched on 21 Aug 2011. Even in Bangalore, I have been hearing news of around 25000 or more people assembling daily. Similar stories are coming from other cities too, even smaller ones. While I don’t doubt that Anna has immensely resonated with the masses and given hope to millions of frustrated Indians, I also feel that going to a protest site is a very ‘easy and convenient‘ way of showing one’s support to Anna. A real test of commitment to Anna and his Gandhian methods of protest would be if we inculcate many of his preachings in our daily life.
Anna’s protest has been based on Gandhian principles of fasting and satyagraha. He has advocated the right of citizens to protest peacefully. He has asked people to pray for the ministers and the government. Gandhi ji also used fasting as a tool for punishing oneself so as to melt the hearts of your opponent and win him over to your side. But a big question to ask is, “Can the common man live by these principles?”
Truth
Can we truly live by Gandhian principles?
Gandhi’s whole philosophy is based on truth. In our everyday lives this would translate to questions like these
Can we live our lives truthfully and honestly, at home and at work, in public and in private, with friends and with family?
Can we pledge to follow the rules of the law and live like ideal citizens? Can we wear helmets every time we go out on a two-wheeler and can we not jump signals even if the roads are empty? (In the current movement, I have seen people on two-wheelers carrying the tricolor but without a helmet..)
Sacrifice
Gandhian methods of satyagraha and living a simple life resonates from the principle of sacrifice as a means to purify the opponent. In real life, this principle would translate to questions like –
Can we pledge to not give any bribe to a cop, babu or a politician?
Are we ready to suffer delays and other harassments which might occur when we refuse to pay bribes?
Are we ready to sacrifice our personal comfort for the greater goal of a just society?
Can we persist making these sacrifices and suffering even while others around us might not be doing so?
Love the Opponent
According to Gandhi, non-violence doesn’t only mean such in action, it is also meant in thoughts and words. To understand this, we need to ask ourselves questions like –
Can we truly remove the thoughts of hatred from our minds for those who have been unfair to us?
Can we love everyone alike, even our opponents, and demonstrate it in thought, word and deed?
Can we hate the sin and not the sinner, and stand up against the sin but continue to love and forgive the sinner?
Hazare, Gandhi and the Tiranga Waving Kids – A Perfect Pic
Equality and No Discrimination
The whole of Gandhi’s life and Anna Hazare’s work in Maharashtra has emphasized on the removal of untouchability and discrimination on basis of caste, language and social factors. The people of Ralegan Sidhi (Anna’s village) call it as a family and not as a village.
Can we treat our fellow citizens as brothers and sisters and part of the same family?
Can we look beyond our caste, language, economic status and love and treat each other alike?
Are we ready to practice what Gandhi said, that we are all children of the same God, and any kind of discrimination would be reprehensible to Him?
What I am trying to say that while it is very easy and convenient to show and voice our support in Anna Hazare in a rally, it would be very demanding and challenging to practice what Anna is following in his daily life. We might have to suffer some short term difficulties and make some sacrifices, but we all know in our hearts that the long term benefits of such a life are always good and more fulfilling. And leave alone corruption, we would remove all or most of the ills that plague our society if we live by the principles by which Anna, and other Gandhi followers live by.
There is a famous Chinese proverb which I think has a very deep meaning which says – “Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.” Can we answer YES to the questions I have listed above? Please leave your views and responses as comments below.. If there are any other questions you might want to add to the list, add them as comments too 🙂
“The best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.” goes a popular quote by Eli Khamarov. How simple, yet how true. The best moments in our lives always tend to be those where something surprises us. And most of these times there are no expectations. We really cherish these moments in life for long. If we start having expectations from these situations too, even they will cease to be enjoyable.
Expectation is a big and hard word. Big because it means and cover so many aspects of life. Hard because it causes so much pain and disappointments in our everyday lives. Expectations are like some fairy tale stories, myths or assumptions which we might have based on our childhood, culture or past experiences. All these expectations only causes friction in our day to day lives, friction between people, friction with situations, and so on.
When a person’s behavior doesn’t match our expectations, or a situation doesn’t span out as we might have liked it to, we can either try to change the person or the situation, or we can let it go. We don’t have any power over how our days and our life will go by. Our assumptions and expectations seem to give us an illusion of some kind of control over our lives, and that is why it is always liberating to let them go. Only once we let it go we notice a world that we have not noticed while we were trying to control the flow of our lives.
Expectations Causes Stress
If we see any of our problems and negative emotions, they are released as a result of some unmet expectation. When we try to fight what happened with a ‘this shouldn’t have happened‘ attitude, the result is friction and stress. We should strive to live our life without expectations from people or situations to be really happy. That doesn’t mean not keeping goals and planning for it, it means taking what life hands us and not try to fight it due to some assumptions.
Accept the World as It Is
We should accept situations and people as they are, and not try to change them according to our expectations. Once we realise that our way of thinking is not the only right way, we will find it easy to change our expectations, or completely drop them. It is not to say that we should not act or do nothing. We should still take actions based on our values and plans, but without expectations. In this way, in case of unmet expectations, we can learn lessons without any disappointments and move on with the next set of plans and actions.
Expectations burden us down, Let them go and Experience Freedom
Be aware, but Let Go
Expectations are an inherent part of life and as human beings, we will always have them. When we do something good, we will always expect some praise. The important thing here is to notice our expectations, become aware of them, and then let go of them. Most of the times we are not even aware that an unmet expectation is causing stress. Only once we are aware, we can let them go which is truly liberating.
Float in the World
We should strive to enjoy the world as it is, full of all its uncertainties and surprises. Expectations usually blocks us from enjoying the current moment. Accepting things as they are is the key to experiencing freedom. Once we let go, we can really float in life and we will not miss the many goods and positive surprises which life have in store for us every second.
So keep your goals, keep your plans, take actions accordingly, but let go of your expectations of any result. It is not easy to do so, as expecting a result is a normal human way to act. But only as human beings we have the power of letting go of our expectations from others and situations. And personally I have seen, letting go actually increases your chances of success in a specific task.
Loving ourselves could be one of the most difficult task for many of us, yet it is very important and significant in our lives. All of us are unique in some talents and skills, and it is our duty to discover our talents and love ourselves for having them. Loving oneself is also related to self-esteem, self-confidence and self-respect sometimes. But it is not about loving oneself as an object, it is not about loving our body or anything physical. Loving oneself comes from within, so in that sense, self-love is more like an attitude and feeling.
The art of loving ourself begins with acceptance of what we are and what we are not. We then no longer seek happiness and fulfillment from people and objects in the outside world, but from within ourselves. It also does not mean being arrogant or over-confident or feeling better than anybody else. It means having a self-respect for ourself as a human being, a self-respect which is not dependent on external factors. Below are 5 simple ways to love oneself daily –
1. Acknowledge your efforts
When we do something good, very often we seek acknowledgement from others (normally higher authority) but often forget to acknowledge ourself for the wonderful work we have been putting in. So do it now, and do it daily. Acknowledge yourself for the effort you have been putting at work, acknowledge yourself for performing your duties as a son, father, mother, brother, and so on. Feel good about the good you are doing to the world.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde
2. No worries
There is never any point worrying about the past or the future. We all know this fact, yet sometimes we can’t stop ourselves from worrying. If we truly become independent of others’ behavior and how situations turn out, we will cease to worry. By worrying we loose the only moment we really have, the present moment. We should aim to enjoy the current moment to the maximum rather than worrying about what is not in our hands.
3. Forgive your mistakes, trust your abilities
We all are human beings, and we have all made mistakes. We might have lost a business opportunity, or we might have hurt some loved ones by our words. While it is human to make mistakes, it is also human to forgive ourselves and not feeling guilty about them, and move on with life. Because life moves ahead and not backwards, we should take the lessons from our past mistakes and trust our abilities to make better use of our time and opportunities that will come our way in the future.
4. Take breaks, relax
Life has become so fast paced these days that quite often we found ourselves so busy in our day to day activities that we loose track of time. Days turn to weeks and weeks to months before we realize the whole year has passed by. All this also leads to stress, tension and diseases due to an unhealthy lifestyle and habits like smoking and drinking. It is very important to take regular breaks to relax and just have some fun, either alone in reflection or spending some light moments with our friends and family. So take a leave every few weeks, just for relaxation, go out for a vacation once in a while, irrespective of how busy you are or how much your work demands of you.
5. Fun Fun Fun in everything you do
Life is one short journey, and yours will end too as it ends for everybody else. And everything you do revolves around people, whether at home, work or on the streets. So have fun at home by playing around with your kids. Have fun at work by not taking things too seriously. Spread smiles on the road by wishing everyone a good day. Count how many times you smile and laugh, and plot it on a graph. The upside of this graph is more important that the graph of your revenues and bottom lines.
There are a few movies which you can watch any number of times. Groundhog Day and Peaceful Warrior makes the list, as does “It’s a Wonderful Life“, which I watched again yesterday. It is specially good to watch these movies when you are feeling a little low or demotivated. It is a movie about a man’s life, of his struggles with his responsibilities and his dreams. It is full of passion, despair and joy. The last half hour of the movie really touches and moves you and makes you feel grateful for your life. I am going to list out five lessons from it below –
1. Be a hero where you stand
Right from his childhood when he saves his brother, keeping Mr Gower from poisoning a child or helping the local citizens of the town, George Bailey shows how to be a hero in doing the little things. Giving your best to every person and making the best out of any situation is a common trait among all great achievers in history. Whether it is doing a sacrifice for the dreams of your parents, or taking a step back to allow your brother to pursue his dream, this movie shows these acts and their importance in the impact they make on others.
2. Relationships more important than money
This movie amply demonstrates the value of people over money and other material things. Money is only an artificial thing created by us, and it should be used in the welfare and happiness of all, it should never be the reason to hate or disregard someone. George Bailey, the main character in the movie, proves this time and again by giving loans to the needy even if they don’t seem to be able to pay back. If a little money can buy someone happiness, then it should be put to this noble use. Simple.
Our lives are indeed wonderful
3. Invest in people
We invest in property, companies, stocks and other form of investments with an aim of increasing them over time. But the biggest investment is people. This movie shows that people never forget and are touched if you sincerely help them and care about them. Investing in people is one investment which never goes bad, and it comes back to you many times invested. This is demonstrated in the movie in the way the whole town comes ahead to help George Bailey when he finds himself in a crisis.
4. Fight for what is right
We all have a deep inner voice which always tells us what is right and what is wrong. In our daily lives as we go about taking decisions, we should always pay heed to this inner voice. We should not compromise even if everyone seems to be doing so. Fighting for what we feel is right will lead us to a life filled of happiness and joy. It takes leadership and courage to stand, often alone, for what you feel is right, and that is what distinguishes the hero from the crowd.
5. You are not a failure
No man is a failure who has friends, is the underlying message in the movie. We do a lot of good in this world, and a lot of people are living off better lives because of us. Most of the time we don’t even realize how many people smile daily because of us. So if we ever start to doubt ourselves, we should take a step back and ponder over our lives and see how many lives we have touched. We might have done something which we don’t even recall now, but we should always remember that the good we do during our lifetime can return to us in many unexpected and beautiful ways.
The storyline gives a very clear message and shows the importance of community, love and faith. Each viewer will see some reflection of his life after watching this movie. The Angel Clarence makes George Bailey realise that every human life is precious, and must be cherished. And that each one of us can MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!
When nothing around you is going your way,
When nobody is hearing what you have to say..
Times like these are the real test of your will,
For amid storms is the challenge to stand still..
When your life will take a sudden turn,
When you will reach a point of no return
Just keep moving ahead despite of every hurdle,
For there is always light at the end of the tunnel..
When all you get is blow after blow,
When every hope and promise seems hollow
You have to decide how high you want to rise,
For you know in every crisis there is a prize..
When nobody around you knows what to do,
When everybody is searching for a clue
That is the time for you to stand strong,
For every night ends no matter how long..
When everything looks like falling apart,
It is very important not to loose heart
For every step you take against the slope,
You are giving rise to a ripple of hope..
Peaceful Warrior is one of the most simple movie with a lot of deep lessons in it. It is based on the book “The way of the Peaceful Warrior” (buy from Flipkart or Amazon) by Dan Millman and recollects his story as an athlete. Nick Nolte gives one of his best performance ever in the movie. After watching this movie, you will get the feeling of wanting to enjoy every moment, something which we don’t feel very often. This movie will leave you thinking about how you run your lives, and if you are open to these lessons, you will get a lot more than just inspiration from this movie. Some of the most important lessons I learned from this movie are listed below –
No Ordinary Moments
There are no ordinary moments in life. Every moment is special, and it is your choice to make the best of it or let it go. The movie also has a quote that “There is never nothing going on“, which signifies the fact that there is always a lot going on around you, and in each moment actually lies our life. Moment after moment, that is how life passes by, and the only moment we have is this one, and this one, and so on. So it tells you to experience every moment by being fully engaged in that moment.
A Warrior Acts, Only a Fool Reacts
Life presents us with many different people and situations, and there is only thing we can control about it – our response. Work on mastering your response to different situations. Don’t let other people and situations decide how you react and feel. Be aware of your emotions, of love, hatred, frustration when they come, but rise over them, and respond in a way you want to, rather than reacting in impulse at that moment and regretting later on.
Where are you? Here, What time is it? Now, What are you? This moment
Take out the Trash
We all need to take out the trash which is in our mind. Trash refers to everything which you don’t need or which is not in the current moment. It might be doubt about your abilities, fear from your past failures, worries about the future, and so on. All this trash keeps you from doing the only thing that matters which is focussing on the current moment. The current moment is the only moment you have, and all past and future thoughts in our mind are trash.
You will Never be Better, Neither be any Less
You will never be better than anybody else, and in the same way you will never be any less. Irrespective of the kind of lives you live, practices you follow, or whatever you do or don’t do, there is no higher ground where you stand compared to others. Treating every other human being with respect and compassion shows more about you than the other person. The same way you are also not less than anybody else, not based on money, resources, thought or anything else.
Service is the Highest Purpose
Service to others is the highest purpose in life. There is no greater thing to do in life than to serve or help others. Service means unselfish kindness without expecting anything in return. We all have various talents and skills, and it is our obligation to use them to teach others and serve them. Service to others gives meaning to your life. Everybody’s life has a purpose, and you will find your purpose in service. Service to something bigger than yourselves.
This is one of the best movies I have watched, and I watch it often when I feel confused or I know I am not living in the present. And believe me, every time I get something new out of watching it. There are a lot of important lessons to be learnt from this movie, and I will be writing another post soon to cover those.
Found this story somewhere and I am putting it down followed by my views on it –
Put the glass down
Once a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, ‘now, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?’
‘Nothing’ the students said.
“OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.
“Your arm would begin to ache” said one of the students.
“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure!” Ventured another student, all the students laughed.
“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” Asked the professor.
“No” was the reply of all the students.
“Then what caused the arm to ache; the muscle to stress?” After a pause the professor asked “Before my arm ache, what should I do?”
The students were puzzled.
“Put the glass down!” said one of the students.
“Exactly!” said the professor, “Life’s problems are exactly like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold it even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.”
The above story conveys a wonderful message in a very simple way. All our problems, in themselves, are not any trouble. They become so when we are not able to let them go, and hold on to them. We all know that worrying about a problem (person or situation) will not do any good to the output which we are expecting. But still, many times, we can’t stop thinking and worrying about that problem. This not only makes the problem look bigger than it is, it also effects other people and situations around us.
Putting the glass down is a very important task which we need to do regularly in our daily lives. Whether it is a problem at the workplace or at home, it is very important to regularly let it go so as we are really able to enjoy life and all what it has to offer. Holding on is what only makes the problem bigger and bigger all the time. By letting go, we will not get unnecessary tension and instead feel relaxed and ready to take on other areas of your life which need your attention.
So, remember to put those glasses down today which you have been holding on for long, and keep doing it regularly.
We all know the physical and health benefits of exercising daily in the morning. If we exercise, we will remain fit, healthy and energetic all through the day. We also know the health benefits of exercising in our sedimentary lifestyle. Regardless of age, exercising helps us prevent chronic diseases and maintain our cholesterol and blood pressure levels. It also helps us burn those extra calories and to keep our weight in check. Exercising also keeps different parts of our body active, making it easier to do any strenuous physical task whenever required.
But there are many other benefits of exercising daily in the morning which we don’t realize. These benefits effects our mood and energy levels all through the day. Here I am listing 5 such positives from exercising which we don’t realize –
1. Personal Victory
When you wake up early, and get out of bed for exercising, that itself is a victory. A personal victory over our lazy and procrastinating self. A victory over the many different reasons which you will find for not getting out of bed in the morning. And let me tell you, those reasons will always be there. Having the courage to actually get out of bed and go walking or jogging is a personal victory. And what better way to start your day than with a personal victory over that part of yourselves which is weak, doubtful and unsure by the part which is courageous, brave and energized.
2. Confidence in Yourself
Keeping your confidence in yourself is very important, especially in times of setbacks, emotional turmoils or financial difficulties. Knowing that you wake up every morning and exercise will always remind you that you are a winner. It takes a lot of courage, determination and discipline to exercise daily and when you apply these traits in exercising, you know you can apply these in other areas of your life too. You carry the positive energy coming from exercising to the rest of your life and that will help create a chain of positive events, even in difficult times.
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time – pills or stairs. ~Joan Welsh
3. Stress Buster
Life is full of surprises, and not all of them good. And it hurts when a not-so-good surprise reaches us when we are not expecting it. Often we find ourselves reaching for things like food, alcohol, or drugs because they make us feel better. The same feeling can come from exercising. Exercise provides an outlet for negative emotions like your frustration, anger, resentment towards an individual, an organization or a situation, which in turn promotes a positive outlook. Medically also it is proved that exercising releases mood-elevating chemicals in the brain and reduces the amount of negative hormones.
4. Peaceful Greeting to the Day
Exercising is a wonderful way to greet every new day as it begins. Nothing can be better than seeing the first rays of light on the horizon or the sunrise. Everything is so quite and peaceful in the morning, and many say that mornings are the most productive time to do anything. You can easily hear the sound of the wind, of bird chirping in the morning. You can focus on your breathing in the morning as the city is still asleep and you are alienated from its hustle and bustle. Mornings are also a wonderful time to read a book, or to think and make plans for the day ahead.
5. Free Time Later in the Day
When you get up early in the morning, you are calm and relaxed as you get time to think and plan out your day. You don’t to have to rush to get ready to catch the office bus or take the car through traffic in a rush to reach office in time for that 10 am meeting. Instead you are free and can leave early to avoid the traffic rush. With this state of mind, you are more productive and energetic the whole day and will obviously wrap up your work earlier than in normal days. This will leave you extra time in the evening to spend with your kids and family. Just imagine the kind of sleep you will get at night if you get up and exercise, then reach office and work more productively, and later spend some quality time in the evening with your family.
In such a lifestyle, there is no space for any stress and we will always be better equipped to handle life’s problems and setbacks when they come. All by doing one simple act of exercising daily, and regularly. If you have always thought that you didn’t have time to exercise because you are busy, think again. Because exercising does not only gives you benefits in that 30 mins or 1 hour that you exercise, it has a huge impact on the whole of your day. I would say, certainly a worthwhile investment to do daily first thing in the morning.
Recently I have written about giving and what it can do for you, and creating a new culture of giving and helping is the vision behind PickaFight. In this article, I am going to focus on why the ability and openness to receive is as important as giving to constantly improve the quality of our lives. When we give out, it is also important to be open to receive, which is one of the toughest steps for us as human beings. Even receiving praise and appreciation makes us uneasy many times, leave alone to receive criticism, and the different lessons our setbacks bring along with them.
I see life as a journey and all of us as its pupils. We should look to enjoy the ride and feel its energy. There is so much to learn from each moment, be it moments of happiness, despair, sorrow or anger. We should always seek to be life’s students. The day we think we are the master of our lives, life has a knack of knocking us down to show us our place. For example, Sachin Tendulkar has almost all cricket batting records to his name. Still, you can see his humility and love for cricket whenever he speaks. He is always a student of cricket, and always looking to learn and receiving to improve his batting. He never goes out and says, “I am the master, I am the best, I don’t need to learn anymore.”Always be a student of life to truly enjoy what it has to offer.
We live in a world where learning and receiving is only linked with formal modes of education and training. So when a person finishes his school and college and moves into the professional world and later into family life, the emphasis on receiving declines. Every success makes us more confident and less open to receiving. Every failure or setback normally takes us into a blame game, whether we blame ourselves or somebody else. This makes us stubborn. What I am trying to say is that life is the biggest teacher and its every moment is a lesson. But it reaches only those who are open to receiving. This one ability is what makes all the difference in the quality of lives we live.
Always keep your minds open to receive
In my recent article, Seeking Comfort in Discomfort, I mentioned about learning from uncomfortable situations and people. This learning is only possible when we give up our ‘being right‘ or ‘the problem is not with me‘ attitude and are open to receive the lesson life has hidden in that moment. It takes patience and courage to really look deep inside and ask ourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” or “What is the next level I need to step upto to deal with this challenge?”
Life is always giving to us, be it through some situations, events or individuals. It only depends on us how much we want to receive. We receive only that much for what we are open. That is how some people have great lives and others don’t. If you the see the greatest achievers, be it in sports or business, the one thing you will find in common is the willingness to continuously learn from life, situations and people. ‘Kaizen‘, a Japanese concept which means “continuous improvement” is a perfect example of what I am saying. Kaizen is based on making little changes on a daily basis, to make things better, to make yourself better, day after day. It is applied in every aspect of a person’s life in Japan where we all know their industrial productivity standards are a benchmark all around the world.
All of what you want to do, everything you want to achieve, be it spiritual happiness or material goods, it can’t happen if you are not open to receive. And if you are, you will learn from life so much that you have no idea the kind of person you can become and the kind of results you can accomplish. If you don’t believe it, try to be open to receiving for the next few days. Just be aware of each situation you face, each person you met and try to introspect what you can learn from him/her. We can learn a lot from small and little things which we normally ignore. For example – You can learn from a janitor in your office the art of smiling and wishing everyone. Situations which don’t go the way you expected can teach you patience which is a very important virtue missing in our fast paced daily lives.
So just absorb yourselves in your daily lives and receive as much as possible for a few days. Try to implement what you receive to bring in daily improvements when you face similar situations in life again. Be aware of every moment. Don’t go on auto-pilot. See if you can make out any difference in a few days. I am telling you, you might be astonished.
Among some of the best books that I have read is ‘Banker to the Poor‘ (buy from Flipkart or Amazon) by Muhammad Yunus. It is the story of how he created Grameen Bank with the vision of easy credit availability to those who need it the most. It is a fascinating read, and it is impossible not to take something away from it. He saw a vision, and against all odds, ran Grameen as a business and gave micro-credit to the world. He changed the way the world looked at banking. Apart from the economics, he and Grameen Bank has had a huge social impact in Bangladesh, with millions of households being empowered to live a life they love. For his efforts, Muhammad Yunus was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006.
There are many traditional human values which have been exemplified in this book, and by Grameen Bank and Muhammad Yunus. These are the values which are common to most successful people, most winners alike, be it in the field of sports, business, politics, or social change. I am listing below the five basic values which the story of Grameen and Mr Yunus very clearly demonstrate –
1. Vision
Muhammad Yunus describes the poverty situation in Bangladesh in this book as “There are many ways for people to die, but somehow dying of starvation is the most unacceptable of all. It happens in slow motion. Second by second, the distance between life and death becomes smaller and smaller, until the two are in such close proximity that one can hardly tell the difference.” He started the Grameen Bank and his microlending experiments with a vision to eradicate this poverty, from his country and from this world. He saw credit as a very basic human right, and went to provide it to the poorest of the poor. He saw the vision of a poverty free world where credit was easily available to those who are most in need of it. He had this vision in Bangladesh, an Islamic country where business and money is looked down upon. Most of his borrowers are women, even when the purdah is still prevalent in rural Bangladesh. He started a bank when nobody in Bangladesh supported him. But he had a vision, and no obstacle can deter him from his vision.
Yunus with his borrowers
2. Patience
There is a famous quote by Gordon Livingston, “Only bad things happen quickly. Virtually all the happiness-producing processes in our lives take time, usually a long time: learning new things, changing old behaviors, building satisfying relationships, raising children. This is why patience and determination are among life’s primary virtues. ” You will not find a better example which demonstrates patience than the story of Grameen Bank. Muhammad Yunus started his experiments in 1974, starting with a $27 loan to 42 people. He continued his experiment from village to village asking the government banks for help only to find closed doors. The Grameen Bank was established only in 1983 and he had to face several hurdles from the government and big banks every step of the way. It was only due to his patience and determination that he turned his dream into a reality.
3. Perseverance
The initial days of his micro-lending experiments were rocky. Nobody believed that he can do what he was saying, and his numbers always fell on deaf ears. He never got funds from the government banks, and Grameen was formally formed only in 1983 after years of perseverance. He continuously had to execute his pilot projects on a bigger and bigger scale just to prove his concept, which he did without frustration and anger. He turned conventional banking practices upside down by lending to the poorest, people who have no collateral and to women who form now 98% of the bank’s lending population. Inspite of all this, he persevered and continued his efforts. He changed his strategies, tactics, and goals over and over, but he never changed or give up on his vision.
The story of Yunus and Grameen Bank
4. Adherence to Principles
Right from the start, Yunus created a culture of hard work, integrity and simplicity for all his employees. He mentions in the book how his branch managers go out into villages and talk to people about their problems and not just about their business. Simplicity is evident in Grameen branches all over Bangladesh. The pay is minimal to the employees and they have to undergo a training living with the poorest. He created the Sixteen Decisions, which asked borrowers to modify their traditional ways of living. The 16 decisions are –
We shall follow and advance the 4 principles of the Grameen Bank – discipline, unity, courage, and hard work – in all walks of our lives.
Prosperity we shall bring to our families
We shall not live in a dilapidated house. We shall repair our houses and work toward constructing new houses at the earliest opportunity.
We shall grow vegetables all year round. We shall eat plenty of them and sell the surplus.
During the plantation season, we shall plant as many seedlings as possible
We shall plan to keep our families small. We shall minimize expenditures. We shall look after our health.
We shall educate our children and ensure that they can earn to pay for their education.
We shall always keep our children and the environment clean
We shall build and use pit latrines
We shall drink water from tube wells. If they are not available, we shall boil water or use alum to purify it.
We shall not take any dowry at our sons’ weddings; neither shall we give any dowry at our daughter’s wedding. We shall keep the center free from the curse of the dowry. We shall not practice child marriage.
We shall not commit any injustice, and we will oppose anyone who tries to do so.
We shall collectively undertake larger investments for higher incomes
We shall always be ready to help each other. If anyone is in difficulty, we shall all help him or her.
If we come to know of any breach of discipline in any center, we shall all go there and help restore discipline
We shall introduce physical exercises in all our centers. We shall take part in all social activities collectively.
These principles, along with the credit from Grameen, empowered the villagers day after day to live up the vision of Muhammad Yunus of a poverty free future.
5. Innovation
All through his fight for micro-credit to the poorest and his journey with Grameen Bank, Muhammad Yunus challenged traditional practices and continuously innovated to find a way through the different challenges he faced. One of his innovation was to focus on lending to women, as they are more likely to think about the benefit to the whole family. All this in a Bangladesh where women were not even allowed to touch money. Whatever traditional banks did, he did the opposite. He loaned to the poorest of the poor, he loaned to people in groups, not individually. He gave loans without any collateral or security, and without paperwork. He simplified loan repayments by weekly meetings of self-help groups. By all these innovations, Grameen and Mr Yunus effected a paradigm shift in the financial banking system.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." – Confucius
When you play football,
Often you will slip and fall
Then you won’t look for advice,
You don’t even think twice,
You just get back up again, Because it’s part of the game!!
Life is also very similar,
Only the playing field is bigger
At times you will win every battle,
Nothing will seem like a struggle
You will win awards and acclaim, This is just one part of the game!!
But life is not a fantasy,
At times it will go crazy
Even easier roads will look tough,
It will seem life is playing a bluff
Don’t wonder what life became, Because this is another part of the game!!
Falling and getting back up,
That is how our life is setup
When the night seem longer,
It is only making us stronger
Nothing is wrong, none should we blame, Because it is all part of the same game!!
Hardships are life’s little tests,
They are as real as our conquests
Every fall and wound is like a teacher,
The lesson is ours to find and discover
In failing there should never be shame, For getting up is also a part of the game!
Get back up, and dust off your clothes,
Make the best of whatever life throws
Take control, and be proud of who you are,
See for yourself you can go how much far
It’s again the time to play, to take a big aim, Hit or miss, it is all part of the game!!
A popular quote goes like this, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
Change and growth are very natural in life. And with every change, every growth there will be times when we will feel uncomfortable as an individual. Infact, growth is always uncomfortable. Lately I have realized that to evolve and grow, be it physical, emotional or spiritual growth, there will always be a certain level of discomfort. Or alternately, if you feel too comfortable in life, probably you are not growing.
Different situations might trigger discomfort for different people. For some, speaking at a public gathering might be uncomfortable and for some, trying a new sport might be uneasy. But all of these situations are those when we are forced to go outside of our comfort zone. The challenge when feeling uncomfortable is to embrace the situation and triumphing over our fear. Only then we will come out of a stagnant, dull life and move beyond fear. And “Darr ke Aage Jeet Hai.. ” (After fear, its victory)
Apart from situations, there could be people, interacting with whom makes us uneasy. This could also be a way of growing as our greatest teachers are those who will make us uneasy while pushing us to try new things and achieve greater heights. These individuals are like a calling for a betterus, to develop an area within us which is not fully developed. So the next time you feel uncomfortable in the company of someone, ask yourself the question, are you willing to take it as a challenge to step up to the task? Are you willing to grow up to the level that this person and situation demands?
Most often, we are triggered by certain situations and individuals, and before we even realize, we might have acted in a certain way or said something unconsciously. It takes a lot of practice and patience to not to judge someone immediately on a trigger and say ‘I just don’t get her‘ or ‘He is wrong‘. We need to be patient as we find out how to grow to the next level so that our automatic alarm is not set off based on a person or a situation. As you move your focus from ‘whats wrong with others‘ to ‘what is needed of myself‘, you give yourself control and power rather than handing it out to people and situations. And believe me, it is easier to find blame in others but very challenging to look inside for introspection and areas of growth.
These last few months have been pretty uncomfortable for me, and thats good because there are many things or situations which used to make me uncomfortable six months ago but now I feel at home being in those situations, which means I have grown. I am by far the most uncomfortable these days than I have been in my entire life, but still there is a peace of mind like never before. It is because I know everything will be ok in time, and this period will leave me a better human being.
The important thing to remember is that, “Are we brave enough to continuously find uncomfortable challenges / situations in life to keep growing?“
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