My previous article on writing regularly and getting better at it in 10 easy steps has been received very well, and I could not have been more glad. There is no better way to start your day than by waking up to a mail by someone who read my article saying that it has helped him in his writings and he follows my tips (blushing 🙂 )
Obviously my learnings while writing has not been limited to only ten points. So when I thought of writing a sequel to the above article, it didn’t took me enough time to come up with 10 more points. These are some tips which helps me in writing easily and effectively without much distractions. I am sure it would help you too if you are facing problems on finding ideas or concentrating while writing an article.
1. Disconnect from the internet
Take that network cable out or turn off your wifi before you start writing an article. This way, you can concentrate fully on your writing and not be distracted by new emails, facebook notifications or pings by friends on messengers.
2. If you get stuck, take a break
If you get stuck while writing and could not figure out what to write next, get up from your seat and take a break. A break could be just taking a 10 minute walk outside your office in fresh air or chatting with friends or colleagues over a cup of coffee. While on this break, try not to think about what you were writing and just have some fun. Crack some jokes, spread some gossip, or just spread smiles. This way, when you come back, more often than not, you will find words flowing out naturally. It has worked for me on numerous times, and I have no doubt it will work for you.
3. Write at a time when you are at your best
Everybody has some time of the day when they are at their best. For example, I am at my best in the morning and get my most productive work done before noon. Some people work better at evenings and late nights. To be able to write more effectively, I recommend writing during your most productive time, or in other words, when you are in the mood.
4. Hang around with people related to topics of your writing
I think this is very important. If you are writing about politics, meet people who talk about politics and indulge in a dialogue with them. If you love sports, find a group to talk about sports, or even better, play the sport. If you don’t know people who will talk about your interest, find them. I tend to observe people and then write about human behavior, and for this, I get out on long walks sometimes and just observe people on the roads, in some shops and try to find ideas for my articles.
Have fun, but make your life worthwhile
5. Write multiple articles at the same time
There is no restriction on writing only one article at a time. Instead you can always work on writing two (or more) articles at one time. Write for one article for 15 minutes, and then switch to the another. I think it helps me as I write on one article, the mind still churns out ideas about the second, which I then write down when I switch. It keeps my mind from getting saturated and bored with the pressure of writing on just one idea.
6. Write an outline first
Before starting to writing an article, try to write some bullet points on what you want the article to focus on and how you want to structure your different points in the form of an article. Once you are done with it, you can start expanding each point into one or two paragraphs. For example – Before writing this article, I wrote down the 10 points first and then proceeded to write a paragraph of text for each point.
7. Don’t wait, start before being ready
Don’t wait for a good mood, or the right time to start. Start without waiting to be ready, for when you start writing, you are ready. I have always believed beginning is the most important part of doing any task. Many times we give ourselves excuses like the mood is not right, or ‘I don’t feel like writing today’, or ‘I don’t write well’. Instead, leave all these reasons and start writing. Period.
8. Concentrate and focus in a quiet place
If you are getting distracted by people around you and the noises they make, go sit in a quiet place. It could mean closing the doors of your room for 30 minutes while you write or find some peaceful place in your office. Personally, I sometimes book a conference room in office and go and sit peacefully and write 🙂 If you are at home, make sure you have your TV and music turned off, unless you like some music playing while you write.
9. Go out and write. In a cafe. Watch people. observe
Contradicting the above point, you might want to go out to a crowded place and write. The aim is to change your regular environment and write in a new place. I sometimes go out to a cafe, sip some cold coffee and eat some cookies while I write. After an hour of two, as I get my task done, I get up and leave. Sometimes just by watching and observing people as they come, chat and leave in a cafe you get many ideas flowing which you can write down.
10. Make it fun
If you take a look at the above points, and even in my previous article, you will find that I tend to make writing fun. I don’t take it too seriously (infact I don’t take anything seriously) and focus on having fun along the way. So don’t write because you want a good article to come out. Write to express yourself, write to have fun, and write to write. When you focus more on bringing your ideas to life and not on the actual words, you will find that the output is undeniably good which people can connect to.
After my last article in which I pointed out how being angry will only hurt us and how forgiveness is a gift, I have heard from many people asking for clarifications on what I meant. For most people, it is very difficult to even comprehend how can one somebody forgive a person who has done some wrong to you? Do we absolve the person of his crime or wrongdoing? Do we start accepting bad behaviour? In this post, I will try to clear these doubts and list out five things forgiveness is not..
1. Forgiving is not accepting bad behaviour or acts of crime
This is the most common misconception about forgiveness. It is not about accepting bad acts or behaviour by saying that mistakes happen. Any act which is illegal or immoral remains so. Forgiveness doesn’t mean approving of any such act. But at the same time, forgiveness is recognizing that it happened in the past, and making sure we don’t waste even a single second of the future by repenting or pondering over it.
2. Forgiving is not pardoning somebody of a crime
Even if you are willing to, forgiveness is not absolving the other person of a crime. It is not about letting somebody free, it is about letting yourself free. It also doesn’t mean we approve of the same crime again in the future. In other words, it is not about forgetting and pardoning. You can forgive someone and then testify against that person is court. It has nothing to do with justice.
Seeing the funny side of forgiveness
3. Forgiving is not a one time event
There is nothing one time in forgiving, neither does it mean that after forgiving someone, you will not feel the pain of a bad act. If somebody killed your son, the memories will always hurt, and you might have to forgive the offender every time you feel hatred against him to set yourself free. In this sense, forgiveness is more of a journey.
4. Forgiveness is not about doing good or showing mercy
You can’t be more wrong if you think that by forgiving someone, you are doing him/her a favor. Forgiveness is like a gift you give to yourself, not to your offender. If you think you are showing mercy to someone by forgiving, then that is more about looking good than forgiveness. You forgive from your heart, not from your actions. The next time you forgive someone, make it a point to not tell that to anyone (maybe even to that person), that will be real forgiveness which will set you free.
5. Forgiveness is not about the person on the other side
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the forgiven party, it is about you, and how you choose to behave and act. It is not a fine gesture, it is about acknowledging (not forgetting) the harm that was done, and despite of it, forgiving. Forgiveness is freeing yourself of any resentment and ensuring you not waste even a single moment thinking about the past act. It is living like the wrong act never happened.
Always remember, forgiveness is neither forgetting nor reconciliation. It takes one person to forgive, but it takes two to reconcile. You might reconcile or not, but you can forgive nevertheless and be free. And only you can give this gift to yourself.
18 Oct 2008, that was the day I landed in this beautiful garden city Bangalore as a 25 year old full with enthusiasm and energy to make it big. Now, three years hence, I can say it is exactly the same state I found myself in. Buzzing with energy, pumping in 14-16 hour days and excited about a lot of ideas sprouting in my head. Now I won’t say that it has been all rosy in these last three years, as there was a brief period of being lost, where I hardly was able to put in 6 hours a day, and I was either angry, frustrated, irritated or just tired all day along. But I am glad that this phase happened, and gladder that it is over now 🙂
SaleRaja – The Joy and Pains of Entrepreneurship
The first year in Bangalore was full of experiencing what entrepreneurship is all about. There were good days, and there were not so good days. Technical discussions, night long marathon coding sessions, sales calls, and a lot of manual and boring repetitive tasks used to fill up my day. The Bangalore weather was the perfect catalyst for all this. Going to events, meeting the founders of other startups, partnering with a lots of people for different tasks and lots of brainstorming sessions made this period one of the most memorable of my life. I started SaleRaja.com as I felt working with InfoEdge that it was not too difficult to earn money ‘for ourselves‘. SaleRaja taught me it was not so easy either 😉 Nothing could be more humbling than that, and the lessons from SaleRaja makes me what I am today. 15 months in Bangalore, and I had to make one of my toughest decisions to let go of SaleRaja, which might also be one of the wisest. For the whole SaleRaja journey, I can say that I started SaleRaja for earning money and getting rich. It didn’t make me any richer (in financial terms) but it ended my hunger for money and pushed me towards a journey for more meaningful things, and that was a big breakthrough.
New city, New games
Exploring New Territories
Once the burden of SaleRaja was no more, I felt really free and light compared to the heavy feeling of burden which I felt earlier. I started meeting a lot of people from the startup ecosystem in Bangalore, also had time to catch with a lot of friends in Bangalore whom I rarely met during the times of SaleRaja. I got interested in looking for new ideas for business, and saw a few very interesting ideas by entrepreneurs. I joined Yahoo during this time, and apart from work, started volunteering to teach school kids as part of a Yahoo! initiative. This step was path breaking as it helped me discover a new side of myself and opened up a lot of new doors. Not to forget are the many long rides I did on my bike which literally meant exploring new territories.
The Joy of Starting New Initiatives
Around the end of 2010, I decided it was time to do something (again). Well, once an entrepreneur, always an entrepreneur. I love starting new initiatives, and this time I decided to do something non-commercial, and something which was not related to internet and coding in any way. I took up a waste management initiative, organized an anti-corruption walk, and later started Pick a Fight. This journey, which still continues, got me in contact with some amazing people from the non-technical world, and it was an eye opening and view expanding experience.
Every city has its own language, customs and festivals
The Future – I can sense some change soon
It has been almost two years since I gave up on SaleRaja, and I am really eager to get back to the game again. Although I am involved in the initiatives mentioned above, I am always excited by new business opportunities. In a way I can feel the winds of change coming towards me soon. I am not sure how long before I start something again, or whether I will start myself or join an already existing startup, or what idea it would be? But I am very sure that I am ready for it again now based on my learnings in the last two years. But this time I will not hurry up into it like last time (not repeating the mistakes) and do proper due diligence before jumping again (making new mistakes).
Recently I was talking to a friend of mine and during our conversation, he said something strange which made me realize something. He told me “Have some ego. Earlier you used to have a lot of ego, but now you don’t seem to have any. Get some of it back.” I laughed at this remark but it made me think later on. Is ego only bad, or does it do any good too? Should we not have it, even a little bit of it?
Ego is normally treated as something negative, something which is not good, something which we should not have. People will always be ready to explain how ego can hurt you. Ego is generally considered the opposite of humility. As humility is good, ego must be bad. In this article I will try to put some focus on why a little ego might be a good thing…
So what is this thing called the Ego? Ego literally means a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-worth. Now that doesn’t feel like something bad. Self esteem means taking pride in yourself. By this logic, a healthy ego should be a must for everybody, but then why does everybody seems to be having so much contempt for ego. I have personally believed in living life in a way which most people not. I like doing things differently, even if it means going against the norms. I feel alive by defying logic. You can say I have an ego. And yes, by that logic, I have. And I am glad for it!!
A quote from The Fountainhead
Doing anything new, like starting a business, or going against the norm, is directly proportional to how confident you are of yourselves and your abilities. Any of these activities is a proof of a presence of ego. But is there anything wrong in this? For me, it makes me work harder and smarter to compete and prove the naysayers wrong, and it feels damn good when that happens 🙂
While one can say that ego as mentioned above lead to good things, it is also to be remembered that ego is the main reason of over-confidence and arrogance. As long as you are in control of your ego, it will work for you. But as soon as your ego starts controlling you, it will hurt you. When ego controls you, it can make the truth look false and the false look true. In television debates, you can see ego controlling people as the focus shifts on their individualities rather than the topic of debate.
When you are overwhelmed by your ego, you will say words you will regret, take actions you will repent later on, and hurt the people you love most. Your inflated ego can also make people loose trust and respect for you. It might get so bad that people roll their eyes when you enter a room. And if we think, we can all recall such people in our lives. A big ego only does one thing. It makes a big FOOL out of you. And most of us won’t even be aware of it when that happens. :-/
So where is this leading? The ego is both good and bad, in different ways. As human beings, I think we all have egos. It is very much a part of our existence. But what matters is how we handle it? You can say it is a tool, which we can use to your advantage, but if it goes out of control, it will come back and hurt us. I have always believed that too much of anything is bad, and ego also falls in that generalization.
So what should we do, as human beings? How do we know how much is enough, or where to draw the line? I think that we should always stand true to our convictions, but also be willing to listen to others and consider that we might be wrong. If you find reason in someone else’s argument, it is only wise to change your viewpoint rather than taking pride in shoving your point down someone else’s throat. Ego is good when you state your point strongly, but bad when you are not even open to views and opinions from the opposite side. There is a wonderful quote by Deepak Chopra to sum it up –
“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.”
Changing sides again, if we look back in history, every great achievement by mankind has been achieved by people who the world have termed as egoists. How do you think the world would have responded to the man who said the earth was not flat (at one time ships used to go till a certain distance in the oceans before turning back so that they don’t fall off)? How do you think the world responded to the man who said the earth revolved around the sun rather than the other way round? There have been many such men in history who were the first to travel on the path that they did. They were the artists, scientists or the inventors. The only thing they had in common was a strong conviction in their beliefs even when the whole world ridiculed them. Where do you think this courage or strength came from? It came from their strong sense of self, and their thinking, feelings and actions can all be attributed to their ego.
When a child his born, the only weapon he has is his brain. Through the use of this brain, man has created everything we see around now. Nothing was ever gifted to us. Someone created the airplane, the car, electricity, internet, etc and these men created the future in which we are living now. In other words, the whole gist of this article is that man should be wise enough to listen to advice from others, but at the same time have a strong conviction about where he is going. It is accepted that it is good to agree with others, but all the great creators disagreed. Every man has a right to his ego, but should never let himself become an object of that same ego. I know there is a thin line between the two cases, and trying to define it might lead to a never ending debate, so I rest my case here.
We all feel anger and hatred at different times, and at different people. Whenever something doesn’t go according to our expected response, or there is an unexpected event like an accident or death of a loved one, the normal human response is to feel anger and hatred towards a person or community. It might also show as resentment towards life in general.
Anger and hatred are emotions which occurs in different intensities on different situations. The anger at someone who just jumped a signal in front of you is different from the anger at someone who just pick pocketed you. Similarly, the anger of being cheated by a loved one or a business partner is different from the anger you might feel towards a man who kills your son or daughter.
According to me, there is nothing unnatural in getting angry and hating someone. It is very human to do so. Shouting, hurting or just blaming somebody else temporarily makes one feel calmer and less stressed. It justifies our own actions and makes us prove the other person wrong. But it is only as temporary as the relief provided by drugs or alcohol. If you must have observed, people who get angry once often tend to get angry again at different people and situations. Venting their anger on someone becomes like a relief or stress reliever.
Forgiveness gives freedom
As with all addictions, being angry at somebody is like throwing hot coal on the other person with your bare hands. As Mark Twain rightly remarked, anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. But yet everybody does it. Why? Because we are unaware (knowingly or unknowingly) of the fact that it harms us, just as an alcoholic or a drug addict is unaware (or choses not to see) the harmful effects of them. Anger is more like a trap that keeps us from living and keeps our mind occupied in something that happened in the past. I have seen many people who have continued to hate others even after the other party is dead or suitably punished by law for their misdeeds. By hating, they are drinking poison hoping that the other person will suffer!
So what must, and what can one do? It would be simple to say that we can control our anger and forgive. Yes, we must forgive our wrong doers and move on with life. We must realize that it’s part of the game. But if it would be so easy, I would not have been writing this article. Forgiveness means different things to different people. Forgiveness is very personal and it is more of a choice, a tough one, and it takes a big man to forgive. It is also a journey, and not an one off event or gesture. We can forgive small or big acts, against a person or a group. It is not acceptance, but a gift from one individual to the other, and to himself.
But there is a time for acceptance and forgiveness. If someone were to murder a loved one of yours, no-one will expect you to forgive that person right away. Soon after an event, a person is in shock. But after a few months, you can forgive if you choose to. By forgiving others, we can be at peace and feel freedom from the trap. It allows us to move on with life and make the best of it. Past events can not make an impact on your future post forgiveness.
There have been many stories of how people have forgiven and loved the people who have harmed them and against whom they have felt anger at one point of time. These stories show us what all is possible, and how big is the human heart, if we give it a chance. It is not easy, and it requires a lot of courage to forgive someone whom you are angry at. It is a brave choice, and it needs a brave man to take that choice. I will end with a quote by Mahatama Gandhi –
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Extra – Let me tell you about a twenty six year old American woman Amy Biehl, who was murdered in South Africa in 1993. Four men were sentenced to 18 years in prison for the crime, but later they pleaded for amnesty which the family of Amy supported by letting go of their anger and hurt. Not only that, the family started the Amy Biehl foundation in South Africa to carry on Amy’s work and even gave jobs to two of Amy’s killers, after their release from prison in 1998. May we all have the reservoir of forgiveness which Amy’s family has shown. And in the words of Amy’s father, Peter Biehl, “It just absolutely sets me free”. Read the full story here.
A poem depicting the need to be brave, even in toughest of situations, and how the world salutes them who act bravely. Also read this poem of mine on the similar lines – “Start, even if it’s just YOU”
Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
We all face tough situations,
Some are routine, some grave!
But you always have a choice,
To do the usual, or to act brave!!
Doing right requires courage,
It decides how you act and behave!
Even when it goes against the norm,
You can be strong and act brave!!
Not many will support you,
For people will hate your guts!
Don’t let them bother you,
For they are only frustrated bigots!!
Cruel words and taunts you might face,
But always remember you have a bold heart!
By acting strong you have shown the way,
Don’t let any doubts and fears tear you apart!!
By choosing the route less common,
You have taken a stand like a hero!
Their arrows can’t pierce your skin,
Your tough soul can take many a blow!!
For all those used to exploiting others,
Your stand have sent a strong shockwave!
Let them blabber in their false sense of pride,
For there are others who salute you for being brave!!
I have been writing on this blog for almost two years now, and as I have mentioned in a previous article, writing is not easy. From writing just a couple of articles a month in the beginning of 2010 to writing around 15 articles every month now, it has taken a lot of patience and hard work. There have been frustrations at not being able to finish a simple article over many days, and the pain of not liking what you have just finished writing. It still happens, and not all the articles or poems I come up are ready to post that instant. Sometimes I edit an article multiple times, and over several weeks before posting it.
Today I am going to share some of my learnings from these last 20 months of writing, and what steps you can take if you aspire to write regularly, and become better at that. Even if you are not not writing now, these tips will help you get started and going. Since there are a lot of lessons I have learnt and I keep getting new insights everyday as I write more and more, I am going to write it down in multiple articles, but starting with 10 points which I feel the most important in this article. So here we go…
1. Just Do It
You will become a better writer by writing more, not by planning to write more. So, irrespective of the fact that whether you are tired or busy, whether it is sunny or cloudy outside, just put your butt down, and write. Let me say it again for more impact. Don’t Dream about writing, just WRITE.
2. Feel It. Express it
Write about something you feel and care about. Choose a topic or subject that gets your heart beating, whether it is music, sports, yoga, business or fiction. Writing is not about the language, it is about the subjects that bring out different emotions in you. And once you start writing on something close to your heart, you will be amazed to see how words flow out.
3. Keep a Notebook
Ideas don’t work on an on-call basis. You can’t call out for new ideas, topics or phrases when you want them. They can sprout up in your mind anytime, sometimes even in the middle of the night. So always keep notes, either offline or online, and note your thoughts and ideas, about a new topic or some interesting sentence or quote you might have just thought. When you actually sit down to write, refer to these notes to structure your article. An idea lost is an idea lost, and you can’t recall it again at will, so better note it down the first time.
The Rules of Writing by E L Doctorow
4. Keep Patience
You will not like everything you like. Sometimes even after sitting for an hour, you won’t be able to write much. But don’t loose patience. This is expected, and a part of the game. If you want to write good stuff, you have to empty your mind of all the rubbish. And when you write something which you don’t like, it is only this rubbish coming out. Now you must not loose hope and persevere because only after all the rubbish is gone, the good stuff will start coming out.
5. Take Feedback
Most often we are blinded to flaws in our writings, whether grammatical or structural, and it is always helpful to take feedback from a few people before publishing. What is more important is to take critical feedback and not just reject it, but work on it to make your article better. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all those to whom I go for review whenever I finish writing something new.
6. No Fear
Let go of any fear you might have. Fear only results in you ‘not‘ writing. So be without fear, which I know, is impossible. But recognize your fears, and get over them rather than letting them overwhelm you. Let these fears drive your writing. Write badly if you must, but do write. Because if you write, you won and the fear lost.
7. Keep Editing for Later
When you start writing, very often you will feel that what you just wrote can be improved. But don’t be tempted and work on finishing the first draft of your article first, and keep all editing for later. Nobody is asking you to be perfect, so have the courage to write badly, but don’t stop writing unless you finish the first draft.
8. Review and Edit Multiple Times
One practice which has worked very well for me is to review my own writings multiple times, often separated by time intervals of atleast a day. After I finish writing the first draft of any article, I don’t review it immediately, but instead review it once for the next few days, and then post it. This helps me view the same article with a fresh mind every day and hence the changes (if any) I do make it better, instead of if I were to edit it just after I finished writing it.
9. Maintain Discipline
One of the most important practice you can bring to the table is being disciplined at writing. I write around 4 days a week now, and want to increase it to 6 days soon. But it is very important to keep writing regularly, even if you are writing only rubbish. Even if you are not in the mood. Even if you are tired, or exhausted, or whatever. Don’t let your reasons for not writing become greater than your discipline.
10. Read a lot
One sure shot way to improve your writing, and get new ideas to write about, is to read a lot. Read books, newspapers, and articles online. Most often I get the idea of a new blog topic after reading an article online or while reading a book. At this point, I just make a note of the topic and any bullet points which I might have, and come back to it later to write the full article. Due to reading, and keeping notes (see point 3 above) I always have a list of articles to write with some notes already in place.
If I remember correctly, I used to sketch regularly during my school days. I think I started it during the fine art classes in school at the age of 10 or so, though I had a knack of messing up any picture as soon as I used to touch colors. Very good initial sketches or wireframes using pencils, but only until I tried to color them. So I stopped using colors and focused on just pencil sketching. I used to maintain a sketch book in which I used to sketch everything from people, buildings, animals from their pics wherever I used to find them, in newspapers, magazines, etc. That sketch book might still be somewhere lying around in my Delhi home, and the next time I visit Delhi I am surely going to look around for it.
My first sketch after 10 years
A few months ago, I started sketching again. It had been 10 years since I had last done it, and it was not a conscious decision to start again. I did it with a pen, and that too very quickly. I think I just found a good picture (of Anna Hazare) and then found some idle time and a pen lying nearby, so I gave it a shot. I liked what the output was, and then I thought why not start sketching again. I have done a few sketches in the weeks since then, since I always enjoy doing it.
Mother Teresa
The first few sketches so far, as you can see, are not anything to boast about, but certainly a good starting point, considering I started after 10 years. I remember I used to have multiple pencils for different tones of black during my school days, and am planning to buy those again now. I plan to do it regularly now, with atleast a couple of sketches in a month or so.
Jennifer Anniston had to happen, sooner or later
All the sketches I have done in the last few weeks have been done in the time of 1 hour of so, which I think is too quick. I would most probably take more time to draw the sketches from now on, obviously, in the hope to get better ones 😉
Wait and watch, I will put up more of my sketches here soon 🙂
Jab We Met is a break from the normal movies we get year after year. It is a refreshing take on love and how to live life powered by sparkling performances by Shahid and Kareena. I think this is the best role Kareena has ever portrayed, and that has breathed life into the movie. Jab We Met is not only entertaining, it also has deep lessons about how to live our lives and has close resemblance to many of the problems we face in our daily lives and how we react to them. It is cute yet sensible, stupid yet enjoyable, and silly yet leaves a impression on you.
It is a break from vulgarity, senseless comedies and rona-dhona type movies that we are being fed these days, and some scenes and dialogues are just superb. This movie appealed to movie goers of all age groups and left a deep impression on many of them. Many of my friends (and I myself) have watched it multiple times. Like I have done with Peaceful Warrior and GroundHog Day, I am listing 5 big takeaways from Jab We Met…
Choose your decisions
Many times it happens that some decisions are forced upon us, or we are obliged to take them either to look good, or just to follow some norms or patterns. What this movie shows is how important it is to ‘choose‘ and accept these decisions at ours and devote ourselves and our energy fully into it. There is no point in doing something half heartedly only because that ‘you were pushed into it‘. Give yourself fully to what you are doing, or don’t do it at all. Period
Every decision has a consequence, accept that
Every decision you take (or choose not to take) will have its consequences. They could be good in case of success or bad (unexpected) in case of failures or unforeseen circumstances. We should always take full responsibility of our actions, whether positive or negative, and never run away from them. Running away is never a solution, like our adorable couple finds out in the movie. And accepting negative results doesn’t mean feeling sorry or guilty about that, it means learning our lessons and moving on with living life. Every moment spent repenting a past mistake is another mistake. So take full responsibility of your actions, and continue moving ahead and doing what you do best.
Enjoy every moment
I see life as one short journey on this earth, which has a start and an end. And we don’t know when the end will happen. So there is no point dying before the end (as Shahid Kapoor was shown living in the beginning of the movie). We all have only limited moments, and life is too short to waste even one moment on any kind of negative emotion like hate, guilt or anger. Kareena’s role in the first half of the movie is the best example of ‘Enjoying Every Moment‘ philosophy. She does what she likes to do, and in her own way. It might make her look stupid (being a complete chatterbox) sometimes, but who cares, as she is enjoying every moment and having real fun in life. I remember one dialogue – “Main Apni Favorite Hoo” (I am my favorite) which is the perfect example of loving yourself.
Don't PASS through life, LIVE it
Enjoy Loving Someone
When you love someone, it is not always necessary that they love you back. But if you turn off your love because of it, then I guess it was not even love in the first place. You can still enjoy loving the other person and doing / giving your best. Shahid Kapoor’s role in the movie is ample demonstration of that. After all, what could be better than seeing the one you love happy. They might not love you back, but that’s okay, as everyone is not so lucky. But that is no reason to stop loving someone and being deprived of that wonderful feeling. If you feel that it is not easy, then you just have to get bigger than your fears, insecurities and selfishness.
Don’t just PASS through life, LIVE it
Life will pass by even if we don’t do anything. We can either PASS through a smooth plane ride, or we can go out, take risks, breathe fully, maybe get some injuries in the process, and have one hell of a ride. Do what you LOVE, or don’t do it at all. Don’t say YES when you mean NO. Don’t do something and dream something else. I call this self-torture. Don’t put yourself to living this life of torture. I will summarize this point and end by this quote –
” Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a Ride! “
Recently I wrote about why is it very important to love ourselves and five ways to do so. While reflecting on the same topic today, I felt that there can’t be just five ways to love ourselves, there could be a million small ways to do so. Big or small, if you are really enjoying and “living” life, you can love and treat yourself in many different ways. Loving yourself is more than an activity or a series of steps, it is a way of living. Below are a few more ways to love yourself –
6. Enjoy the beauty in every moment
Every moment has some beauty which we often miss. Just look around, you might see two dogs playing on the street, and try to remember when was the last time you played that freely. Watch a mother holding her son’s hand in the mall, and remember to give your parents a hug every now and then. See your life as a gift to this world, use it to enrich the lives of people around you. Be worthwhile. Spread smiles. Spread cheers..
7. Give advice you give to others to yourself
Many times we give others advice about being healthy, staying motivated, having confidence in themselves but most often we miss giving that advice to ourselves when we need it. Never beat yourself up for what could have been a great relationship, or a business opportunity which did not materialize. Instead be grateful for what you have, and believe that there is something better waiting for you. Speak to yourself in the way you speak and advice other people in your life.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde
8. Ask for what people like about you
Ask people what they like about you. What are your strong points and good qualities? Don’t focus on improving your talents and skills too much. For a break, focus on and appreciate what you already have. Asking others for good in ourselves and listening to praise could be one of the toughest tasks (if you don’t believe me, try it). But it is also very important to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for the good you are continuously doing in life. And go watch the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” to fully grasp what I mean by this point.
9. Don’t let negative thoughts overcome you
Every time a negative thought comes in your mind, it is OK. Don’t try to fight it by saying, “This should not have happened”, “He should not have done this”, and so on. Neither should you beat yourself up by saying, “I should not be thinking this way”. Relax. Everything which is happening is ok. What you are thinking (positive or negative) is also ok. Don’t fight your negative thoughts. Instead, recognize them as part of your being, and then you will get over them. Try this to realize its power. Don’t resist things, let it be. And only then you can get over them and reach the next level.
10. Have some time alone
Try keeping some time just for you. I love to sit silent sometimes doing nothing, and if nothing else, I love going on long walks. It helps me reflect on the way my life has been going. Sometimes we just need to shut off all the noise of the world, all the comparisons, doubts, tensions about anything and experience the joy of being alive. You owe yourself that, and having some silent time only to yourself does just that.
Living life with passion is in itself a way to love oneself. Doing what you love and enjoy will fill your days with energy and excitement. So the next time you go out, treat yourself with an ice-cream or a treat you always cherished. Get drenched in the rain and feel the smell of the rain touching the earth. Forget about your TODO list and just BE happy. Talk to some old friends, listen to your favorite music, or just pick up a painting book and start painting.
When was the last time you did all that? It had been a long time, isn’t it? So go out, and be a superhero. Make magic. Be your own best friend.
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