Life

3 Simple Secrets of Love
Life is simple, very simple indeed. But we humans take great pride in making it complicated. I think it is because we get our sense of worth by doing something tough, solving some complex problem or achieving some goal. So the idea of life being simple is very difficult to grasp for most of us.

Like life, the solutions or secrets behind solving most of our problems are also very simple. In this article I want to point out three very simple secrets for love. When I say love, I mean love between any two human beings, and not necessarily romantic love. It could also be love between two strangers, but the secrets are the same. Also they are nothing which you don’t already know or something which I have ‘discovered‘, they are plain old undeniable truths which we all are aware of, but rarely practice in our lives.

Here they go –

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius

1. Delight at Sight

We all must ask ourselves a few questions here –
- How excited are we on seeing our parents after coming home from work?
- How happy are we on seeing our colleagues daily at work?
- How joyful we become on meeting our friends over the weekend?
- Do we smile and wish our neighbors when we crash into them every now and then?
Delight at sight means a feeling of absolute delight on seeing another human being. The delight of knowing that we have parents to care for us, friends to share a beer with, a spouse to share our life, and colleagues to work along with. Do we smile, run towards them, and wish or hug them with a big smile on our face?

We all know a few such people in our lives, and if we look deeply we will know that how much love they give and receive. If you have no human examples, look at your dog or cat and observe their behaviour. Can you see the “Delight at Sight” secret in them?

2. Marshal People By Example

Giving a lecture is so much easy than acting ourselves on what we are lecturing about. Just like writing this article is a lot more easy for me than to actually practice this stuff daily. But love spreads from sacrifice and compassion towards another, by teaching something by example. By doing something ourselves, and making ourselves a 10x better example of what we are trying to suggest/teach to the other person is the only way to sow the seeds of love in any relationship.

I can see my father as a perfect example of this. And I am sure we all can see the same in our parents. And it is a very hard process, as you have to continue practice living your life as an example, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and so on. And if we want to preach a principle, we have to live our lives at least a 10 time multiple of that principle. It takes a BIG man to do that…

3. Heart to Heart

We should aspire to live more from our heart than from our brain. We should tap into the emotions and feelings which make us human (but not be driven by them) because the strongest human connections and love always originate from our hearts, and never from our brains. We should show an endless stream of compassion towards our fellow beings as each one of us is fighting very similar battles. Support people instead of criticizing, forgive them instead of holding a grudge and love them instead of judging them.

However, this is not something we should (or can) fake. Heart to Heart means being true to our feelings and never lying about how one feels. If you are sad – cry, if you are angry – shout; but get over it soon and pour out compassion for yourself and for others too. Do what you want to do, and give others space to do what they want to do.
Feb 27, 2013
Are You Out Of Balance In Your Life, And How To Maintain It

While cycling, many times we tilt over one side or the other, but we must bring our self back in balance, or else we will end up falling. The same goes for life and business, and basically everything that we do. We need to have the right balance between the various sides of your business, work, life or we will end up falling on one side.

From my experience, I can tell you that most of my life have been anything but balanced. Except in the last few years, I have always given more time to things that I was interested in, and not enough to uninteresting though important things. If in my school and college days I focused too much on computers to suffer in every other subject, in my professional life I have been too much of a workaholic to allow my health and family relationships suffer. We can keep doing this for sometime, but after a while, we need to maintain our balance or we end up falling on one side (bad scores, bad health, or broken relationships).

Without balance, this paradox becomes a reality

Maintaining a balanced life is a continuous journey and the definition of balance changes as our priorities change. While there is nothing wrong in being focused more on one aspect of life than another (like money over family, or work over health) but it is also important to realize that neglecting one part of life will have its consequences in the future. However, living a balanced life will have its trade offs too. If you are not putting as much hours in your office as your peers, you might end up getting less money or being passed over for that promotion. So it is always a trade-off and a personal decision.

Over Compensating One for the Other
Many people think that if they work harder in one area, results in that area can compensate for the lack of results in another area. For example – You might feel getting more money (and the power that comes with it) might compensate for the lack of time you spend with your family. But what I have seen is that, on the contrary, if you get more engaged in building your career and business, you get under a lot of obligations that you will have even less time for your other priorities.

Keep All Ends in Mind
Keeping both ends in mind, and understanding the trade-offs is the key to a balanced life. Depending on where your education, work, family, kids, contribution to society, or anything else sits on your priority list, you can tilt on one side from time to time, but you have to make sure of switching to the other sides too from time to time if you want to prevent a fall.

Pay Attention
To keep a balanced life, it is important to ask ourselves the hard questions about what our priorities are, and keep a close eye on the trade offs with each option. Examine different areas of your life and set goals which will decide the way you want to balance your life. Make a plan on how to do that, and stick to it. It is very important to learn to say ‘no’ to even big opportunities if they dont fit in your plan, or understand the trade offs if you say ‘yes’.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
― Albert Einstein

Feb 8, 2013
5 Simple Ways We Can Slow Down and Make Our Each Day Worthwhile and Enjoyable

We all live our days hurrying through life, and going after tasks and deadlines. In this mad rush called life, it is very easy to miss all those little pleasures which each day has to offer. In the rush to live, we sometimes forget to pause and actually live the present moment. If you are not clear on what I am trying to convey, think when was the last time you ate lunch without thinking about that call in the afternoon or the deadline you have to complete by the end of day. When was the last time you really cherished the meal you ate, and tasted every flavor it had to offer, or thought about how it was made?

We should never forget this quote

Taking a pause in doing our so called mundane and day to day tasks and savoring each moment of our days can be truly magical. And we can savor not just food, but anything else too. It is wonderful, and it changes everything. Below are some simple ways we can make our days truly wonderful, and to fully enjoy the gift each moment has to offer –

1. Food – So the next time we eat, let us savor each bite before we move on to take the next bite. Let us slow the eating process down, and give some space to the activity of eating. Let us eat to cherish the beautiful activity eating is, and not for just fueling up for the next task at work.
2. Exercise – Whenever you walk, jog, or do some other form of exercise, enjoy it fully. Do not let exercise become a chore to do just for keeping healthy, or some task we have to get over with. Go for a quiet run (remove the earphones) amid nature and listen to the birds chirping, and the sounds of twigs and leaves as you run past them. Notice your breathing, notice how you get tired, notice when you slow down. Feel the feet as it touches the ground, and feel the wind as it blows past you. Doing this will make exercising more enjoyable, and you will get more out of it.
3. Daily Commute – We all spend a lot of time commuting to and from work daily. Normally we just wait for the traffic to clear so that we reach our destination as soon as possible. But for a change next time, sit quietly and observe the surroundings on your way. Observe the different people in their cars and bikes, observe the street hawkers and shopkeepers by the road side, observe the kids playing near the traffic junction, or just watch the traffic cops do their job. Cherish the road the way it is – full of potholes or an expressway, cherish the trees and buildings you pass by. By doing that, we are not wasting our time in commuting, but we are enriching our experience of those few hours you spend daily to and from work.
4. Weather – Normally our experience of weather is to pass judgement – “it is too cold”, or “this humidity will kill me”, or “why did it had to rain today” and so on… Weather is not something in our control, so obviously we will be surprised by some sudden weather change. But instead of cursing it if it gets in our day to day lives, we can try to slow down and enjoy what it has to offer. If it is humid, let get drenched in sweat and take a shower when we get back home. If it is raining, let’s feel the rain drops on our body as a child does. If it is cold, let’s enjoy the chill while it lasts. The same goes for spring, summer and fall. Let us enjoy the beauty each season has to offer, rather than trying to suit the weather to our comfort.

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
–Eddie Cantor

5. Writing – As with any other task, even writing gets enjoyable if we slow down and be with it fully. If we focus on our fingers as type (or write) words and sentences, and on the thoughts we are writing about, it becomes enjoyable. Notice how our thoughts turn into words and how lucky we are to be able to do so. Isn’t that realization enjoyable, and the experience something to be cherished!!

Stopping and enjoying every moment just the way it is, as I described above, is not easy and takes practice. You can do it right now – where ever you are and irrespective of what you are doing. When we slow down, we notice a lot of things we miss otherwise. These things are all very small and trivial, but enjoying them is what makes life worthwhile. Nothing can be as enjoyable as cherishing each moment as it comes, and whatever it brings with it.

Jan 18, 2013
How standing for something bigger than yourself is related to motivation?

Do you take big goals in life and then find yourself dis-empowered and not take any actions at the first sight of a breakdown. Doesn’t demotivation and procrastination set in when we face setbacks and lower than expected results? I have seen this many times in my own life. I decide on a new goal and make big plans for it which leaves me motivated and ready for action. But as soon as I face a few setbacks and know that the targets I set are not going to be achieved, I give up even on what moderate numbers I can achieve. Why so?

At the same time, there have been times, when I have seen myself work out of my own capacity, even when the chips are down. These were the times where I didn’t even make an effort to stay motivated, but somehow I went out of my skin to give my best. I have often wondered what has been the difference in these two cases? The difference I have observed is standing for something bigger than oneself.

Are people counting on you for something?
What I have observed is that people who were doing their best were often those on whom others were counting on for something. For example – I have seen my mother beat cancer three times and do things during her treatment that has astonished doctors and relatives alike. The kind of courage she showed made one of the top chemotherapy specialists of the country remark – “You are the only patient I have seen who keep on coming smiling and asks for one more round of chemotherapy!!” And she has gone through around 20 rounds of chemotherapy, and all have been miserably painful and unbearable for her. But what gave her this power?

What do you stand for?

I think it was because she knew her family was counting on her. Both of us brothers were still studying, and she wanted to see us achieve success in life. That is what she always told the doctors – “I am not dying now, before seeing my children grow up.” I am sure she would have given up far more easily if she wanted to get back healthy only for herself, as any cancer patient will testify that chemotherapy is even worse than dying. But she had a purpose larger than herself, and that made her victorious over cancer.

I have seen the same with myself when I was with InfoEdge in Noida leading a team of 14 people. Knowing that they were counting on me made me do things which I was neither willing nor capable of doing at that time. And that year is still one of the most humbling and learning experience of my life.

It is so easy to give up when you only think about yourself

When you are only worried about doing something for yourself, it is very hard to keep yourself motivated when you don’t see the expected results happening. We found it the most easy to give up on our promises to ourselves as it doesn’t seem ‘wrong’. That is why it is so hard to motivate ourself in the face of challenges and obstacles when we want something only for ourselves. It is so tough to take the tough decisions and keep going when we don’t have some bigger purpose to serve rather than just our own desires.

Conclusion
So the next time you find yourself dis-empowered, try to work out of a context which is bigger than yourself or what you want. The minute you stop focusing on yourself, all of your pity, self doubt and worry will melt away. You will find courage to deal with things, and a new found peace and satisfaction in your lives. You will do the hardest of tasks without getting tired. The more you think about yourself, the weaker you will become. The more you recognize that your life is serving a bigger purpose, the stronger you will become. And this holds true in all areas of life – family, work, business, etc.

And as I write this I realize that I have no such purpose left in my life bigger than myself.. and I know I need to find, or create one soon..

Jan 4, 2013
2012 – The Year That Was

One year is not a very long time, so to speak. But what can change in one’s life in that one year has no boundaries. If I look back at where I was at the start of this year and where I am now, there are hardly anything in common.

I’m not in the same job as I was a year before, neither am I staying in the same home and city. The set of people I was talking to most in January and those with whom I interact with these days are totally different. Even at the deeper level of thoughts and consciousness, I am a very different person now than what I was a year ago ( thought still not very sure about this). I am thinking and acting about the same stuff differently, and have already done some things in this year which I thought I would never do.

The year started with a big change on the professional front – as I left Yahoo and got busy in setting up my own company. I enjoyed writing product specs, then coding most of them myself, releasing beta releases of my product and getting feedback from prospective customers. Then started the process of making business plans, pitching for funding to investors and forming partnerships with other entrepreneurs.

2013 – Happy New Year

Working from home had another perk – I got to spend the maximum time with my parents, unless when I was out with friends or for work related meetings. Before I got the biggest jolt of my life in July, I enjoyed and cherished every second I spend with my parents in Bangalore. Although my mother was troubled by a leg injury at the beginning of the year, she was duly enjoying my being at home full time. We used to play and tease each other, and often run around the house chasing each other on trivial issues. But the most important thing was – she was truly happy and enjoying whatever Bangalore had to offer.

As the year ends, all these conflicting thoughts and emotions are settling and giving way to a peaceful state again. The anger and the upset is still there, but I guess there is less mental holding on to it now. It’s not like the emotions are not there, but now I am not so caught up in them.

It is said that the “mind” is our biggest treasure, the one thing which separate us from animals. But it can also be our biggest hindrance. The mind likes to think – about the past pains, about the future dreams, and so on. If we get too caught up with it, we risk missing the right here right now, this very moment. We can only cherish the present moment if we learn and practice to separate from our constantly spinning mind. And it also doesn’t mean that the pain will go away. It will stay with us, and there is no place to go. But it is all OK.. Just as it is!! There is no where else to go. Pain or pleasure, it doesn’t make any difference.

Dec 27, 2012
Sailing Over The River of Life

I usually maintain a small list of topics and bullet points on articles I want to write upon. Most of the times, I always have around five half-written articles in that document, from which I usually pick one and finish for posting. Even at this moment, I have a list of 5-10 such articles, all from more than 4 months ago when my life took a complete u-turn.

Though I have started writing again now, my frequency of writing is still very less. One reason for this is because most of the topics I have noted down to “write later” doesn’t seem relevant to me now, or the thoughts which I have already noted down seem alien to me now. Even from the already posted articles, my views are not aligned with many of them.

Of course, life happens over a large period of time, and it brings along its own challenges and surprises, successes and failures, learnings and lessons. And everybody’s thinking changes in the course of a life time. Looking back, I can very easily see how I (and my actions and behaviors) have changed multiple times. I can hardly recognize the person I was when I completed school, then when I completed engineering or when I moved to Bangalore in 2008. In fact, I can see a lot of changes in me from the person that I was just a few months ago.

Having said that, it would not be wrong to say that whatever I have done or thought in the past had certainly resonated with my thoughts at that time, even though I would not do many things the ‘same way‘ now. Standing in now, I don’t have any regrets on the decisions or actions I have taken in the past, even though I see many of them as mistakes or blunders now.

I have no idea what the future has in store for me, or what my thoughts would be in the future. I think what is important is going through with what we are thinking at this moment, and not taking actions based on what we have done in the past or how our thought process had been in the years gone by. Even if that means throwing away all the articles or topics I have already written, or taking a sudden career path, or deciding to interact with a different set of people – perhaps even in a new city or country.

This quote by Emma Smith looks so appropriate now – “Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.”

And that is what I am going to do, live each day as it comes, and doing what seems best at the moment, irrespective of how others feel about it, or even how I have felt about it in the past. Just as the flow of a river never stops until it joins the ocean, our lives also never stop or pass through the same spot twice. The river might change its direction due to obstacles in the path, which it either wears down or finds a way around until it reaches its destination, slowly and persistently. We should always do the same with our lives too.

Dec 13, 2012
Death is What Makes it all Worth it

The point I want to make through this article is the significance of death. In my opinion, death is the ultimate deadline, just like any other we face in our lives, given by our boss or wife. Death is what makes life relevant. What would life be if nobody would die? And life of people who forget that their life has a limit is a testimony to this fact.

The biggest blunder we can do with a deadline is forgetting that there is a deadline. What is a football match if there is no timing, and it continues forever? The end is what makes everything in this world worthwhile. As I said in a previous article, our task in life is to cause a disturbance in this world while we are alive, and death is the deadline for this task. Without death, this task would have no meaning. And it is only after death that we can measure what we have left behind.

I now know how true this is

And no deadline is the end, it is the beginning of something new. You finish a task on time – what do you get out of it? The task was most likely a vehicle to deliver something, to start something new. We don’t mourn the completion of a deadline, instead we celebrate!

With life, obviously there will be a grieving and mourning period if we loose our loved one (like my mom recently), but we must also make sure to celebrate the life of those who are no more with us.

In my case, my mother’s life was an investment – in creating the family that she has left behind. And as she used to say – “It is not the length of life that matters, it is the depth of it that does”. And I am testimony to the fact that in the 51 years that she lived, she did or achieved what most people can’t do even in a 100 years.

I know that a part of me has also died with her and this void can never be filled, but at the same time I realise that I must celebrate her life too – for the kind of love, courage, strength and mental toughness I saw in her was unmatchable. I (and we) must not forget that our life is a vehicle to start something new, make something better, and it continues after the deadline is over (death).

From birth till death, whatever we do or achieve are only the inputs or raw materials on which something great is about to be built in the future – the life after the deadline. Have you ever thought about that? What are the fruits of your life that the world will enjoy after it ends?

If we examine the lives of great leaders like Mahatama Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Henry Ford, etc we will realise it is not they who benefit out of their hard work but the future generations. Most of the times these leaders were not even alive to witness the fruits of their labor. It is ironical, but I guess that is just one of the paradoxes of life.

As Mark Twain once said – “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Given the way my mother lived, it was no surprise that she went in peace. She did not once during her last 9 years of treatment showed any signs of worry (about death) or losing her composure.

In fact, she surprised everyone (doctors, relatives, etc) by the energy and love she carried around herself. Death is what makes our lives meaningful, irrespective of how painful they are.

Death is where it all starts, not where it all ends !!

Nov 21, 2012
The End, or a New Beginning?

It has been three months today since my mother passed away, and since I have written anything. Maybe because words aren’t enough to capture what is going on in my mind lately. Maybe because I don’t want the world to see me vulnerable. Maybe because I am scared or confused, frustrated and angry.. Or perhaps, it is life’s way of teaching me something new. Three months have passed, and although I am more at peace, I have come to realize that life will NEVER be the same again…

It has not been easy – these last three months. I have often found myself lost and asking questions like – Where I am going? What purpose will it serve? What do I want? And who and what really matters? It has been a painful process, but I guess there are also some lessons and learnings in it. I have done things in the last three months I have never done before, or never thought I would do. But does anything matter?

As some of my friends have reminded me, I should write again. And so I am writing this small post to tell the world I am still alive. Life is turbulent, and I guess this is just one of those patches, and I will come out of it as a better person. And though I have not written lately, I have thought about writing a lot, and I will pick it up again soon. So hang in there, I feel a lot better every passing day.

I will leave you with this poem which I read somewhere and this is what I think She is trying to say to all her loved ones from wherever she is –

” When tomorrow starts without me, & I’m not there to see
Your eyes full of tears, showing your love for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry so much, the way you did that day
Thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time you think of me, I’m thinking of you too

So when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
An angel came & called my name & took me by my hand

It was time for me to take my place, in heaven far above
Leaving everyone behind, especially the ones I love

As I turned & walked away, a tear fell from my eye
Remembering the life I lived & why I had to die

I do not want to go, with having so much to do
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you

So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think that we’re apart
For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart. “

Oct 29, 2012
My Four Probable Answers to What Exactly is Reality?

1. Agreements
Reality is just an agreed notion, either by a large number of people or by someone for whom we have the illusion of being an expert. For example – If a majority of people believe in a superstition or a religious practice, it is considered the truth in that part of the world. People are killed, children are raised, and wars are fought over such widely agreed beliefs. Similarly, if an expert says something, people tend to believe it as reality. If a doctor says you are ill, then you must be. If a scientists makes a remark, we take it very seriously even if it is totally opposite of what we believe in.

2. Standards Set by Average People
Most of the time people make rules just because they would be out of a job if they don’t do so. This is mostly true of people in power, whether they are in a government or in a school, college or a company. Most of the standards about what we should do, what we should not do, and how to do something and how not to, are made by some group of very average who are nominated (or elected) for that position. And it is amazing to see how so few people question them and live their whole lives driven by those standards. Watch the below video to get amazed.

3. What our mind/brain tells us?
The human brain takes in all perceptions from the outside world and forms a reality for us through our thoughts and perceptions. It is reflected in the ‘real’ world by the words we speak and write. What we observe is ‘instantly real’ for us? This is why we are so amazed by magic or optical illusions. But when someone explains the reasoning behind, we see a different reality. Why? Only because our brain changed our perception of reality on seeing the proof behind the magic? But in that moment, that illusion was our reality?

4. A Mirage and a Mystery
Life is at best, a mystery to humans, one bigger than we have the potential and capacity to understand. See this bizarre “Double Slit Experiment” done by Quantum Physicists to get the shock of your life. Who knows if there are multiple realities where every possible outcome is played out in a parallel universe. Each of us will observe something different depending on our frame of perception.

Jul 27, 2012
Love and Hate – Is it OK?

How can I hate you?
When I also know I love you?
I know you are not bad,
But then why do you make me mad?

You once made me wanna fly?
Now why do you make me cry?
You once felt like the sweet smell of rain,
Then why do you now give so much pain?

I hate myself for hating you,
The love or hate – which one is true?
All this sadness, anger and fear,
Can’t you see, can’t you hear?

What is right, what is wrong?
Am I supposed to act strong?
But here I am – lost again..
Is it OK? or am I going insane?

How apt?

Jul 20, 2012
10 Favorite Quotes on Forgiving and Embracing Freedom
The kindest thing we can do to ourself is to forgive the unforgivable. Our “enemy” may not deserve to be forgiven, but we deserve to be free. The earlier we realize that our anger doesn’t do any harm to the other person, and most likely they are not even giving a thought about us, the better it would be. We should rather strive to see the “unfortunate things” that happen to us as little tests to make us into a better, stronger and wiser person. And to turn it around, we should actually thank this person for giving us this “test” that strengthens us. And, as I have said in a previous article, forgiveness is not about acceptance of wrong behavior. It is our gift to ourself, not the other party.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

I am a big fan of quotes and one-liners, and while writing and pondering over the issues of giving up anger and embracing forgiveness in the last few months, I have come across a list of quotes I have found filled with immense wisdom about the topic. Read my top 10 list below –
1. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
2. Remember that we are all doing the best we can at the time. -Diane Paul
3. I know that I need to forgive someone, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind. Don’t do it for them, do it for you! -Cathryn Kent
4. You remember why you love them. Love is about forgiveness.- Holly Chapman
5. Give up on all hope of a better past. -Matt Child
6. Forgiveness comes easy when you know that what people say or do is about them, it’s not about you. -Kim Kings
7. “Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.”
8. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. – Thomas Szasz
9. True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment. – David Ridge
10. A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another’s limitations – Rose Sweet
Jul 11, 2012
The Crap Trap of This World

Let me try to sum up what I am thinking right now in as few words as possible.

The Crap Trap of Life

We live in a system, a system of education, work, family and life – which tells us about how to do things and how not to. You pursue your favorite education course to get that dream job. You get paid for doing that, just like everyone else around you. You see and experience that you must earn more so that you can spend more, to buy a product or service which will make you happy, or let you do something you enjoy. But after some time, you will have to go back and earn so that again you can spend. So that you can do what you enjoy.

There are rules for how to get loans to buy your dream car or your dream house. There are rules for how to raise your kids. And you have no option but to continue working in that job you know is not the best way for you to spend your eight hours of each day. You have hardly any time to think in the daily commotion of life, and so days, months and years pass by. And before you know, you are old and you die. This is what I call the CRAP TRAP!

The only good news – It is our Choice

Doesn’t it sound like you are in a maze ? In this maze we see only the next turn and assume that we are going ahead when we are only moving in a cycle. A day is a cycle, and similarly so is a week, month and year. You get your hair cut and it grows back up, similarly you do a job and it needs to be done tomorrow again. It is never finished, and we all live through the same cycle.

In this stupid maze, where are ‘WE‘? What are we doing? Or are we even doing something? Would anything change if someone would suck us out of this maze? Would life change in the maze?

I believe we all are the change we leave behind in this world (the maze) when we die. Everything else we do is non-consequential. The only thing that matters is the disturbance or change you leave behind. Did you leave the world any better or worse? Did you create a ripple in the universe?

The good news is that it is all our CHOICE.

Jul 5, 2012
The Only Real Opponent You Have, In Work or in Life, Is Yourself

Mahatama Gandhi once said – “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” And indeed, it is one of the greatest myths of this world that we have to fight our battles in the outside world.

Everyone who has reached the pinnacle of sport, business, or his/her chosen profession knows that there comes a time when you realize that the real opponent which you have to fight is you yourselves. To take our performance above a certain level, we need to break our safety walls and take new actions which previously we might not have even thought of. By changing ourselves we actually change the world around us.

Commitment

If we want to improve our performance manifold, instead of just learning new courses or reading new books, we need to work on our commitment to the goal we are after. We should make that commitment so unwavering that our own lazy and procrastinating self (and yes, we all have that) can’t stop us from doing what is necessary.

So don’t miss the morning walk, even if you are sick or it is raining outside. Don’t stop doing something just because it is getting tough for you. You have given a commitment, and it is your fight with yourself that you need to win to complete that commitment.

Excellence

If we can demand nothing less than excellence from ourselves and others in every little task we do, whether it is watering the plants or giving that presentation, the kind of results we produce will change dramatically.

We should strive to give our best to every second, and not just in the important events. We have to make things happen, by doing what we have never done before, or by doing them in a way that we have never tried before.

“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.”
— Yousuf Karsh

Discover The Strength Inside

All of us have amazing strengths which we never realize or acknowledge unless we are forced by some sudden situation which requires us to act beyond what we think we are capable of. This is epitomized by the famous saying – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

So the so-called ‘tough‘ people seem to get their strength out of nowhere in tough times. Our defeats tell us more about ourselves than our victories. We all have tremendous reservoirs of strengths hidden beneath us, but we have to dig deep and defeat our own ‘stay in comfort zone‘ self to uncover it.

I will end with this powerful quote by Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

Jul 2, 2012
Five More Ways to get back up after a Bad Day

No matter how good or better we become, it is a fact that we all are going to have bad days sometimes. The only thing which can separate some from the others is how quickly you bounce back once you realize you are having a bad day. I wrote five points in an earlier article on how to get back up, and in this article I follow those with five more points. What we should always remember is summed up by this quote from Confucious – “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”

Stand up for yourself

6. Practice a hobby
Write down 5 things that you love to do. Then write down some action which you can take in all these 5 areas today, and just do it! Even if it is for 2-3 minutes, take time out in doing that. Give yourself the gift of having a good time, and do it daily. It will clear your head and make you healthy and stress free. I like to do my sketching with something daily, even if it is just doodling around. I write pretty regularly, sometimes just to let my thoughts out and only for myself. So go out dancing, watch that movie you have been putting off for some time, or listen to your favorite music. Forget everything and cherish the moment.

7. Read a book
Reading a book gives us the perspective that life is bigger than our silly lives, and there are better things to do. They also show us that there is a lot of good out there in the world, and there is always something worth reading daily. I read autobiographies, fiction, blogs, history books, and books from distinguished writers and speakers such as Stephen Covey, Robin Sharma, among others. Currently I am reading “Business Stripped Bare” by Richard Branson and “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand. I give around 30 mins to both books each day, and I am sure it has a great impact on the rest of my day.

8. Experiment
Do new things in life, and throw yourself into experiencing new things. Live your life as a work of art, and embrace whatever new comes your way. So many beautiful things will happen to you out of such experiments, mainly because there is no expectations attached with them. And even if nothing else, you will have a great story to tell at the end. Meet new people, try new hobbies, do something crazy. Make life INTERESTING.

“Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep.” – Madonna

9. Be Thankful
Make a list of 10 points you are grateful for in your life today. Now do this every day. List the names of 50 most important people in your life, and write down 10 things you are grateful for, against each of them. If you want, share it with them. Thank them for being there in your life.

10. Know your value
Never allow people to take you for granted. Know your self worth, and demand what you deserve. The first step is demanding from yourself the kind of life you want to live, and the standards you want to follow. Then demand from others. Demand money for services you provide. Demand the kind of respect you know you deserve. And demand from yourself to be worthy of that.

Jun 28, 2012
10 Quick Tips on How to Make Investments in People – the ‘only’ thing that matters

Sometimes back I wrote about why people are the best investment we can ever do. Today I was thinking of how simple it is to make a conscious effort to show people they matter to us. I came up with these 10 simple points to show the people in our life what they mean to us –

Very true

1. Ask for their opinion on something important to us. It will give us some valuable ideas and leave them feeling valued.
2. Thank him/her for something they did for us, now or in the past.
3. Show interest in their lives, and look if there is any way we can contribute.
4. Respect their time. Always be the first one to reach for a meeting. Never make them wait.
5. Don’t do anything else while talking to them directly or over the phone. Give them your full attention.
6. Apologize when you make a mistake. Ask what can you do to make it up to them?
7. Show your faith in them, even when they themselves don’t. Tell him/her – “I believe in you”.
8. Share your dreams, plans, crazy ideas with them. And listen to theirs.
9. Celebrate their successes and victories.
10. Make what is important to them, important to you

If you have to do only one thing, love people

Life is about relationships and not things. And a strong relationships is built day by day, like any strong building or organization. So let’s make daily efforts to show people that they are special and we care about them.

P.S. – These are not a set of tips we can use to manipulate others. Believe me, people are smart enough to sense out the fake from the real and genuine.

Jun 25, 2012