Coaching

We all do this – Talk Ourselves Out of Our Commitments

And that’s exactly what we need to talk about.

If you’ve just had a powerful conversation with me about your future—the one that made your heart race and your mind light up with possibility—I need you to know something important: you’re probably going to talk yourself out of it.

Not because you don’t want it (the new possibility). Not because it’s not right for you. But because your brain is about to do what brains do when faced with something bigger than they’re used to: protect you from what it perceives as danger.

I’m writing this because I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. Someone leaves our call feeling electric, inspired, clear about what they want to create. Then, 24 to 48 hours later, the doubts creep in. The “what ifs” start multiplying. The practical concerns suddenly seem insurmountable.

And if I don’t hear from them, I know exactly what’s happening. They’re sitting at their kitchen table or in their car, having a mental wrestling match with themselves. They’re building a case for why now isn’t the right time, why they should wait, why they need to be more prepared.

We all talk ourselves out of our dreams and commitment. And we always have good reasons for that.

Here’s what I want you to know is:

• This is not a character flaw
• This is not weakness. There is nothing wrong with you.
• This is not a sign that you’re not ready or that the dream isn’t real
• This is your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do—keep you safe and comfortable

Your Brain Doesn’t Know the Difference Between a Tiger and a Dream

Let me tell you about Shruti, a tech company CEO who came to me feeling stuck. She’d been in the same role for three years, comfortable but unfulfilled. She had a vision of starting her own consulting firm, helping companies build more human-centered cultures. When we talked, her eyes lit up. She could see it all—the clients she’d work with, the impact she’d make, the freedom she’d have.

Two weeks later, she hadn’t returned my call.

When we finally connected, she was embarrassed. “I got scared,” she admitted. “I started thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if I can’t get clients? What if I fail? What if I’m not as good as I think I am?”

Her brain couldn’t tell the difference between a sabre-toothed tiger and starting a consulting firm. Both triggered the same ancient alarm system: DANGER. THREAT. RETREAT.

Your brain evolved in a world where taking big risks often meant death. The person who decided to explore that dark cave might have found food—or they might have become food. The brain that kept humans alive was the one that said, “Better safe than sorry.”

That same brain is now trying to keep you “safe” from your dreams. It’s flooding you with cortisol and adrenaline, making you feel anxious and overwhelmed. It’s not trying to sabotage you—it’s trying to save you.

The Committee Meeting in Your Head

After a coaching conversation (sometimes even a regular conversation) with me – especially if you find it insightful or powerful, something predictable is going to happen. Your brain is going to call a committee meeting. And this committee is not your friend.

The committee members include:

• The Accountant: “Do you know how much this costs? You could use that money for so many other things. What about the roof? What about retirement? This is irresponsible.”

• The Comfort-Seeker: “You’re already so busy. Do you really want to add more stress to your life? Things are fine the way they are. Why rock the boat?”

• The Inner Critic: “Remember when you tried that other thing and it didn’t work out? You’re not disciplined enough for this. You’re going to disappoint everyone, including yourself.”

• The Social Worrier: “What will your spouse think? Your friends? Your colleagues? They’ll think you’re going through a midlife crisis. They’ll think you’re being frivolous.”

This committee’s job is to maintain the status quo. They’re not interested in your growth or your dreams. They’re interested in keeping everything exactly as it is, because that feels safe.

And here’s the kicker: they’re going to make very logical, rational-sounding arguments.

They’re not going to say, “Don’t do this because you’re scared.”

They’re going to say, “Don’t do this because it’s financially irresponsible” or “Don’t do this because the timing isn’t right.”

PS – The committee is just a dramatic name for your brain and nervous system.

The Vulnerability Hangover

Let me tell you about Marcus, a successful lawyer who came to me feeling empty despite his achievements. In our session, he shared something he’d never said out loud: he wanted to write a book about his experience growing up in foster care and how it shaped his drive to help others.

He left our call feeling alive, purposeful, clear. Three days later, he was mortified. “I can’t believe I told you that,” he said. “I sound like such a cliché. A lawyer who wants to write a book? How original.”

This is what I call the vulnerability hangover. When you share your deepest dreams with someone, you’re being incredibly vulnerable. In the moment, it feels amazing—like you’re finally being seen for who you really are. But later, when the emotional high fades, that vulnerability can feel terrifying – like a hangover.

Your brain starts saying:

• “Why did you tell them that? Now they know.”
• “What if you can’t do it? What if you fail?”
• “You’ll look like a fool.”

The easiest way to deal with this discomfort is to distance yourself from the person who witnessed your vulnerability.

If you avoid me, you can avoid the reminder of what you shared. You can avoid the accountability. You can avoid the possibility of disappointment.

But you can not avoid that dream that you have hiding and holding down for years – sometimes even for – decades.

The Gap Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be

Here’s what’s really happening: in our conversation, I helped you see a version of yourself that’s bigger than your current reality. I held up a mirror that showed not who you are today, but who you could become.

This creates what I call the “aspiration gap“—the space between your current self and your potential self. This gap is both incredibly exciting and absolutely terrifying.

On one hand, it’s thrilling to see what’s possible. On the other hand, it’s overwhelming to think about all the changes you’d need to make to get there.

Let me tell you about Jennifer, a marketing director who came to me feeling burned out. She had a vision of creating a more balanced life, maybe even starting her own agency. When we talked, she could see it all clearly. But a week later, she was paralyzed.

“I was so excited on our call,” she told me. “But now I’m looking at my life and I don’t know how to get from here to there. It feels impossible.”

Jennifer wasn’t backing away from her dream. She was backing away from the seemingly impossible journey between where she was and where she wanted to be.

What I Want You to Know About Me

If you’re reading this and feeling called out, if you’re recognizing yourself in these stories, I need you to know something important: I am the last person you need to worry about disappointing.

Here’s what I’m NOT here to do:

• to judge you
• to be disappointed in you
• to make you feel guilty or ashamed
• to keep score of your progress
• to wait for you to prove yourself

Here’s what I AM:

• Someone who’s been where you are
• Your thinking partner and reality check
• Your reminder of what’s possible
• Here to help you take the next step
• Someone who will never judge you
• Someone who will never give up on you
• Someone whom you can always count on

I’ve been where you are. I’ve had the dreams that seemed too big, the visions that felt too scary to pursue. I’ve felt the vulnerability hangover after sharing something deeply personal. I’ve had my own committee meetings where every logical voice said, “Don’t do it.”

When I decided to leave my lucrative tech career to become a coach (which took me 8 years), my own brain went into overdrive. “You’re giving up a sure thing for what? To help people? That’s not a real job. You’re being irresponsible. You’re going to fail.”

I almost talked myself out of it a dozen times. The only difference is that I had someone in my corner who understood what was happening—someone who helped me see that the fear was not a stop sign but a sign that I was onto something important.

I’m that person for you now.

The Fear Is Not the Enemy

Here’s what I’ve learned: the fear you’re feeling isn’t a bug in the system—it’s a feature. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “This matters. This is important. This could change everything.”

The bigger the dream, the bigger the fear. If you weren’t scared, it would mean the goal wasn’t significant enough to trigger your growth edge.

Let me tell you about Ahmed, a CEO who came to me wanting to transform his company culture. He had a vision of creating a workplace where people actually wanted to be, where they felt valued and heard. In our session, he was passionate, clear, committed.

A week later, he was second-guessing everything. “Maybe I’m being too idealistic,” he said. “Maybe this is just how business works. Maybe I should focus on the numbers and leave the touchy-feely stuff alone.”

“Ahmed,” I said, “if this were easy, if it didn’t scare you, would it be worth doing?”

He was quiet for a long moment. Then: “No. If it were easy, someone would have done it already.”

The fear wasn’t telling him to stop. It was telling him he was onto something that mattered.

What to Do When the Committee Convenes

So what do you do when the committee in your head starts its meeting? When the doubts creep in and the excuses start forming?

Your Four-Step Process:

1. Expect it. Don’t be surprised when it happens. Say to yourself, “Oh, there’s my brain trying to keep me safe. Right on schedule.”
2. Don’t fight it. Don’t try to push the fear away or pretend it doesn’t exist. Acknowledge it. “I hear you, brain. You’re scared. Thank you for trying to protect me.”
3. Remember who’s in charge. The committee doesn’t get to make the final decision. They get to voice their concerns, but they don’t get to vote on your future. Only you get to do that.
4. Call me. Seriously. Don’t sit with this alone. Don’t let the committee be the only voices in your head. Let me be your thinking partner, your reality check, your reminder of what’s possible.

The Smallest Possible Step

One of the reasons people retreat is because the dream feels too big, too overwhelming. Going from where you are to where you want to be feels like trying to leap across the Grand Canyon.

But here’s the thing: you don’t need to leap across the Grand Canyon. You just need to take one step in the right direction.

Real examples of first steps:

• Shruti (VP who wanted to start consulting): Her first step wasn’t quitting her job or finding clients. It was spending 15 minutes writing down what she’d learned about culture change in her current role.

• Marcus (lawyer who wanted to write a book): His first step wasn’t writing a book proposal or finding a publisher. It was spending 10 minutes journaling about one memory from his childhood.

• Jennifer (marketing director who wanted more balance): Her first step wasn’t starting an agency or negotiating a new work arrangement. It was blocking out 30 minutes on her calendar for a walk.

The goal isn’t to solve everything at once. The goal is to take one small step that proves to yourself that change is possible.

You Don’t Have to Be Ready

Let me tell you a secret: no one is ever really ready for the thing that will change their life. You don’t become ready by waiting, by preparing more, by getting all your ducks in a row. You become ready by starting.

You are waiting for readiness to start. Without realising that you become ready by starting.

Every successful person I know—every leader who’s created something meaningful, every entrepreneur who’s built something lasting, every person who’s made a significant change—they all started before they were ready.

They started:

• Scared
• Uncertain
• With incomplete information
• With imperfect plans

But they started.

An Invitation, Not a Demand

I’m writing this to help you understand what’s happening in your brain so you can make a conscious choice instead of an unconscious one.

If you decide that now isn’t the right time, that’s okay. If you decide that the dream isn’t worth the discomfort, that’s your choice to make.

But I want you to make that choice consciously, not because your brain hijacked the decision-making process.

And if you do decide to move forward, I want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. You don’t have to be perfect or have all the answers.

You just have to be willing to take the next step.

The Dream Is Still There

Here’s what I know about you: the dream that showed up in our conversation is still there. The vision you had, the excitement you felt, the clarity you experienced—that wasn’t fake. That wasn’t a moment of delusion. That was you catching a glimpse of who you really are and what you’re really capable of.

Remember:

• The fear might have dimmed that light, but it hasn’t extinguished it. It’s still there, waiting for you to fan it back into a flame.
• The committee in your head is loud, but it’s not the only voice. There’s another voice—quieter, gentler, but infinitely wiser
• It’s the voice that brought you to our conversation in the first place. It’s the voice that knows what you’re capable of

Listen to that voice. Trust that voice. Follow that voice.

And when you’re ready—not when you’re fearless, but when you’re ready to move forward despite the fear—I’ll be here. Not to judge you or pressure you or make you feel guilty, but to remind you of what’s possible and to help you take the next step.

Your dream is still valid. Your vision is still real. Your future is still waiting.

And I’m still here, ready to help you create it.

The only question is: are you ready to stop talking yourself out of it?

As a CEO or an entrepreneur, you carry immense responsibility. You face daily challenges that require you to lead, innovate, and make decisions that impact not only your business but also the lives of those around you.

The higher you rise, the lonelier it can get—and the more you realize you need someone who truly gets you. Someone who can challenge you, support you, and speak the truths that no one else dares to say. Here are five reasons my clients, many of whom are high-performing leaders like you, choose to work with me.

1. Radical Honesty: No Sugar-Coating, Just Truth

The most successful leaders don’t need more yes-men—they need someone who is willing to tell them the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. That’s where I come in. I provide radical honesty, a kind that cuts through the noise and gets to the core of what’s holding you back.

• Example: I once told a client that their current leadership style was not working and that their true potential required them to shut down and start again from scratch. It was a hard conversation, but it led them to build something far more aligned with their vision. Radical honesty isn’t about arrogance; it’s about love, support, and a genuine commitment to your success.

Your Pain Point: You feel like no one tells you the whole truth anymore. Your team is hesitant to share their real thoughts because of your status, and you need someone who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is.

My Promise: I care more about your dreams and goals than I do about staying comfortable or being liked. When you work with me, you will hear what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

2. Bold Challenges: Break Through Your Limits

Ambition is not the problem—you’ve got plenty of that. The problem is that sometimes, even with your ambition, you stop seeing the bigger possibilities. My job is to challenge you to dream even bigger, to go beyond the limits you might have unknowingly set for yourself.

• Example: One client once said, “My goal is to scale from $10M to $20M in revenue.” I looked him in the eye and said, “Why not $100M?” That question changed everything. We worked together to develop leadership presence and strong communication skills that ultimately surpassed his initial goals.

Your Pain Point: You want to dream big, but you also want a guide to push you beyond the horizon that you see for yourself. Sometimes you wonder if you’re playing too small, but no one around you questions it.

My Promise: I will challenge you more than you’ve ever been challenged. Whether that means asking you to fly to Amsterdam for a conversation that redefines your path, or pushing you to make the decisions you’ve been avoiding—I’m here for all of it. I care less about why something might not be possible and more about why it might be.

3. True Depth: Discover Who You Really Are

Exceptional leadership requires deep self-awareness. But this level of awareness isn’t something you can achieve alone. You need a partner who will act as your mirror—someone who will help you see yourself in ways you haven’t yet imagined.

• Example: One of my clients used to struggle with understanding how they showed up to their team. Through our work together, they began to realize the impact their words and actions had—both the positive and the negative. They became more present, more effective, and their relationships with their team transformed.

Your Pain Point: You often wonder if you truly know yourself as a leader. You feel that something is missing, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

My Promise: I’ve been where you are—afraid of being seen, hiding parts of myself to keep the peace. Today, I stand as an example of what’s possible when you embrace your full self. I help you go deep, so you can unlock every aspect of your potential and create a ripple effect that transforms not only your leadership but also your life.

4. Authentic Presence: It’s Not About Impressing, It’s About Being Real

For years, I played small, hiding my true self to keep others happy. I thought I had to be perfect to coach others. But the truth is, authenticity is the bridge that leads to trust. When I stopped trying to impress my clients and started showing up as my full, flawed self, everything changed.

• Example: Once, I was distracted during a coaching session because of an argument I had earlier. I chose to share that with my client instead of pretending. He thanked me for my honesty, telling me it made him trust me even more. By being real, I showed him that he could be real too.

Your Pain Point: You’re tired of the façade. You’re tired of feeling like you need to be perfect, like you need to impress people just to be heard.

My Promise: I will show up as my authentic self, and in doing so, invite you to do the same. Our work together will be a place where you can be vulnerable and real—because that’s where true growth happens.

5. Legacy and Deeper Relationships: It’s About More Than Success

Most high achievers eventually ask themselves deeper questions: “Why am I really here? What am I leaving behind?” Success is great, but it’s not everything. True fulfillment comes from the impact you have on the people around you—the legacy you leave.

• Example: I’ve helped clients reconnect with their families after years of neglect due to their relentless pursuit of business success. One client told me, “I realized that no amount of money is worth losing the people I love.” Today, he is not only leading a successful business but also being the father and partner he always wanted to be.

Your Pain Point: You’ve achieved great success, but it feels hollow. You know there’s more to life than business metrics and financial wins, but you don’t know how to tap into that deeper purpose.

My Promise: I will help you explore what legacy really means for you. We will work on not just scaling your business but also making a multigenerational impact—one that touches the lives of your team, your family, and everyone who looks up to you.

Vulnerability and Trust: The Foundation of Transformation

The most transformative coaching relationships are built on vulnerability and trust. I bring both to the table—being vulnerable with you, while also being a steadfast leader. I will push you harder than you’ve ever been pushed, and support you more than you’ve ever felt supported.

Your Pain Point: You need someone who can handle the weight of your aspirations, your fears, and your truth—someone you can trust completely.

My Promise: I will be that person. I will always tell you the truth. I will challenge you because I believe in you. And whether we work together for one session or for years, you will always leave feeling more inspired, more capable, and with a greater sense of what’s possible.

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These are the reasons CEOs, entrepreneurs, and other high-achieving individuals choose to work with me. You need someone who will tell you the truth, push you beyond your current vision, help you see yourself clearly, be authentic with you, and guide you toward a legacy that truly matters. If this resonates with you, let’s connect and explore how we can turn your boldest visions into reality.

Most people treat coaching like a spa day—a pleasant escape that temporarily feels good before returning to business as usual. But real transformation requires a fundamentally different approach.

The Truth Nobody Wants to Hear

Early in my coaching journey, my coach told me something that changed everything: “Nobody is coming to save you.”

It felt brutal at first. But it was the best news I could receive—because it meant the power to change was entirely within me. The coach isn’t there to fix you; they’re there to challenge you and hold up a mirror to what you’re creating.

The Difference Between Dabbling and Commitment

Why Comfort Is the Enemy of Growth

We’re naturally drawn to comfort—to situations, people, and environments that affirm our existing self-concept and behaviors. But this comfort, while pleasant, is fundamentally incompatible with transformation.

Significant development happens not in your comfort zone but at its edge—where you feel stretched but not broken, challenged but not threatened.

The most successful coaching clients understand this paradox: the discomfort they feel in coaching isn’t a sign that something’s wrong but that something’s working. They learn to distinguish between productive discomfort (which signals growth) and unproductive distress (which signals harm).

The real value of coaching is in how you choose to listen, perceive, and act. It’s not in the coach’s wisdom, but in your commitment to growing as a leader.

Research from Harvard Business Review confirms what I’ve seen in practice: when motivation comes from external sources—a coach’s directives, incentives, or threats—commitment to change is short-lived.

True transformation only happens when you recognize that:

1. You are already creating the results in your life and business, whether consciously or not
2. The coach isn’t there to fix things but to illuminate what you’re creating
3. The power to change your circumstances exists entirely within you

The Courage to Be Uncomfortable

Ultimately, getting the most from coaching requires the courage to be uncomfortable—to voluntarily step into the discomfort of growth rather than remaining in the familiarity of limitation.

This courage isn’t about fearlessness. It’s about feeling the fear and moving forward anyway, trusting that the discomfort of growth serves your larger purpose and potential.

Remember: The moments in coaching that feel most uncomfortable often hold the greatest potential for transformation. Your willingness to lean into productive discomfort—supported by appropriate safety—may be the single most important factor in what you gain from the coaching relationship.

The Ultimate Mindset Shift

The most powerful approach to coaching isn’t asking “What can my coach give me?” but rather “Who must I become to create the results I want?”

This shift from getting to becoming is what separates those who use coaching as a temporary boost from those who experience genuine transformation.

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The Coachee’s Role: Owning the Process

1. Own Your Results

You’re already producing every result in your life and business—whether you realize it or not. The overwhelm, the revenue, the team dynamics—you’re creating all of it. Coaching simply brings this into conscious awareness so you can create something different.

A founder I coached blamed demanding clients and market volatility for her stress. When asked, “How are you contributing to your own overwhelm?” she realized she was creating it by refusing to set boundaries. Taking ownership changed everything.

2. Show Up Prepared

Preparation determines 80% of your coaching outcomes. Before each session:

• Identify what you’re avoiding: The conversation that makes you most uncomfortable often holds the greatest growth potential
• Find the pattern: What keeps repeating despite different circumstances?
• Raise the stakes: What’s the cost if nothing changes?
• Bring hunger: Connect emotionally to why your growth matters

3. Set Goals That Scare You

Forget SMART goals. Transformational coaching requires TID goals:

• Thrilling: Energizes you at a visceral level
• Important: Serves something greater than yourself
• Daunting: Requires you to grow beyond who you are today

One client didn’t aim to “increase sales by 15%.” She committed to “becoming the kind of leader who builds a million-dollar business while working fewer hours.” That’s the difference.

From Participation to Commitment

Most people participate in coaching. Few commit to transformation. Here’s the difference:

You’re just participating if you:

• Reschedule sessions when work gets busy
• Only implement comfortable suggestions
• Want results without discomfort
• Keep coaching insights separate from daily decisions

You’re committed when you:

• Treat coaching as non-negotiable
• Embrace productive discomfort
• Extend learning between sessions
• Take action even when scared

Let me give you an example: I was coaching a founder who wanted to grow his business from $5M to $10M in annual revenue. At first, he thought it was just a matter of getting better at sales and operations. But through our conversations, he realized that the real challenge was his own fear of stepping up as a leader. He was holding back on making bold decisions because he was afraid of failure and what others might think of him.

Once he took ownership of that fear and realized that he was the one producing the results in his business, things changed. He started leading his team more decisively, took unimaginable risks, and his business started growing—not because of any specific tactic we discussed, but because he shifted how he saw himself as a leader.

Why Preparation Determines 80% of Coaching Outcomes

The quality of your coaching experience depends largely on what you bring to the table. Many people default to surface-level operational issues rather than addressing the deeper patterns that “run” you on autopilot.

To identify your most valuable focus areas, ask yourself these questions during your preparation:

1. What conversation am I avoiding? Often, the topic that makes you most uncomfortable holds the greatest potential for growth.
2. Where am I feeling friction? Resistance, frustration, or recurring problems usually point to important development areas.
3. What’s the problem beneath the problem? If you’re struggling with team performance, the real issue might be your difficulty with direct feedback. If you’re overwhelmed with work, the underlying challenge might be boundary-setting.
4. What pattern keeps repeating? Look for situations where you keep getting similar results despite different circumstances.
5. What would make the biggest difference? If you could change just one aspect of your leadership or business approach, what would create the most significant impact?

A client who was struggling with work-life balance initially wanted to discuss time management techniques. During her preparation, she realized the real issue wasn’t scheduling but her inability to say no to new opportunities—stemming from a deeper fear of missing out. This insight completely shifted our focus and led to transformative work on her relationship with sufficiency and self-worth.

Material Outcomes: Just Practice for Real Transformation

Most people come to coaching with a desire for specific material outcomes: more revenue, a stronger team, a successful product launch. And while those goals are important, they’re not the real transformation.

The real transformation is your growth as a leader. The material outcomes are just the practice field where you get to see how much you’ve grown. The true value of coaching is the awareness that you can create any outcome, once you fully step into your role as a leader.

Take this story from one of my clients: He came into coaching wanting to double his company’s revenue. But by the end of our work together, he realized the real transformation was in his leadership. He saw that every decision, every result, was a reflection of how he showed up as a leader. Once he stepped into that, the revenue followed naturally. It wasn’t about hitting a number; it was about realizing that he had the power to create any result he wanted.

The Power of Identity-Based Goals

When you set goals that challenge your identity—not just your calendar or your tactics—you create the conditions for genuine transformation. You stop trying to become a slightly better version of your current self and start evolving into someone new.

As one client who published her book and expanded internationally put it: “I realized I wasn’t just trying to write a book. I was becoming someone who expresses her truth boldly, who claims her expertise without apology, who serves through vulnerability rather than perfection. Once I understood that, the writing became the easy part.”

Remember: The most powerful goals aren’t just about what you’ll achieve. They’re about who you’ll become in the process. And that’s where the true magic of coaching lies.

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Ultimately, commitment isn’t something that happens to you—it’s a choice you make repeatedly. Each time you face resistance, each time the path becomes difficult, you have a choice: to participate or to commit.

The clients who experience the most profound transformations make this choice consciously. They decide that their development isn’t optional or conditional—it’s essential to who they are becoming.

As one client who took a stand for herself for the first time and drew boundaries with her husband put it: “I realized I had been treating my growth like a hobby—something I did when it was convenient and comfortable. The breakthrough came when I decided it was non-negotiable, as essential as breathing. That’s when everything changed.”

Remember: The depth of your transformation will never exceed the depth of your commitment. When you shift from participation to full commitment, you create the conditions for extraordinary change.

The Power of Integrity: Saying What You Mean, Doing What You Say

At the heart of transformation is integrity: saying what you mean and doing what you say. This isn’t about morality—it’s about power.

When you consistently honor your word:

• You develop unshakeable self-trust
• You build momentum through kept promises
• You clarify what truly matters
• Your commitments become reality

Track every promise you make—to yourself and others. Review them daily. When circumstances change, communicate proactively.

read more on integrity

Action Over Insight

Insights without action are worthless. Your brain doesn’t change through understanding—it changes through experience.

After each session:

• Experiment boldly: Try new behaviors, even imperfectly
• Reflect deeply: What did you do differently? What impact did you observe?
• Document learning: Capture insights to solidify neural pathways
• Share with your coach: Don’t wait until the next session

One client reduced meeting time from 12 to 6 hours daily while doubling team productivity. The transformation wasn’t the metrics—it was who he became as a leader. The metrics just reflected that deeper change.

Remember: The true measure of coaching effectiveness isn’t what happens during sessions but what happens between them. Your commitment to the action-reflection cycle is what transforms coaching from an interesting conversation into a catalyst for profound change.

An absurd and dramatic example

Imagine this: You’re walking through a graveyard. Everything seems lifeless. But as you walk, dead bodies begin to rise out of the ground—one by one, they come to life and start asking to work with you, wanting your leadership and insight.

It sounds absurd, right? Completely impossible.

Yet, this is the exact metaphor I use to explain the power we have as leaders. We all have the ability to “create” something out of nothing by changing how we see ourselves and the world around us. Just as those “dead bodies” in the graveyard seem immobile, the challenges or situations in your business may appear stagnant or impossible to change. But when you realize that you are the source of change, you suddenly have the ability to transform the seemingly impossible into new opportunities.

I know this is an overly dramatic example – but I want to make a point – results like the above are available for you from coaching.

The Final Word: You’re the Creator

Stop asking “What can my coach give me?”

Start asking “Who must I become to create the results I want?“

This shift—from getting to becoming—separates temporary boosts from genuine transformation.

The invitation: Will you show up to coaching not seeking improvement but committed to transformation? Will you bring your full self—challenges, aspirations, fears, power—to the process?

If you do, there’s no limit to what you can create. Not because any coach will give you answers, but because you’ll discover your capacity to generate them yourself.

Remember: The power to transform your business, leadership, and life is already within you. The coach simply helps you discover it.