One year is not a very long time, so to speak. But what can change in one’s life in that one year has no boundaries. If I look back at where I was at the start of this year and where I am now, there are hardly anything in common.
I’m not in the same job as I was a year before, neither am I staying in the same home and city. The set of people I was talking to most in January and those with whom I interact with these days are totally different. Even at the deeper level of thoughts and consciousness, I am a very different person now than what I was a year ago ( thought still not very sure about this). I am thinking and acting about the same stuff differently, and have already done some things in this year which I thought I would never do.
The year started with a big change on the professional front – as I left Yahoo and got busy in setting up my own company. I enjoyed writing product specs, then coding most of them myself, releasing beta releases of my product and getting feedback from prospective customers. Then started the process of making business plans, pitching for funding to investors and forming partnerships with other entrepreneurs.
2013 – Happy New Year
Working from home had another perk – I got to spend the maximum time with my parents, unless when I was out with friends or for work related meetings. Before I got the biggest jolt of my life in July, I enjoyed and cherished every second I spend with my parents in Bangalore. Although my mother was troubled by a leg injury at the beginning of the year, she was duly enjoying my being at home full time. We used to play and tease each other, and often run around the house chasing each other on trivial issues. But the most important thing was – she was truly happy and enjoying whatever Bangalore had to offer.
As the year ends, all these conflicting thoughts and emotions are settling and giving way to a peaceful state again. The anger and the upset is still there, but I guess there is less mental holding on to it now. It’s not like the emotions are not there, but now I am not so caught up in them.
It is said that the “mind” is our biggest treasure, the one thing which separate us from animals. But it can also be our biggest hindrance. The mind likes to think – about the past pains, about the future dreams, and so on. If we get too caught up with it, we risk missing the right here right now, this very moment. We can only cherish the present moment if we learn and practice to separate from our constantly spinning mind. And it also doesn’t mean that the pain will go away. It will stay with us, and there is no place to go. But it is all OK.. Just as it is!! There is no where else to go. Pain or pleasure, it doesn’t make any difference.
I usually maintain a small list of topics and bullet points on articles I want to write upon. Most of the times, I always have around five half-written articles in that document, from which I usually pick one and finish for posting. Even at this moment, I have a list of 5-10 such articles, all from more than 4 months ago when my life took a complete u-turn.
Though I have started writing again now, my frequency of writing is still very less. One reason for this is because most of the topics I have noted down to “write later” doesn’t seem relevant to me now, or the thoughts which I have already noted down seem alien to me now. Even from the already posted articles, my views are not aligned with many of them.
Of course, life happens over a large period of time, and it brings along its own challenges and surprises, successes and failures, learnings and lessons. And everybody’s thinking changes in the course of a life time. Looking back, I can very easily see how I (and my actions and behaviors) have changed multiple times. I can hardly recognize the person I was when I completed school, then when I completed engineering or when I moved to Bangalore in 2008. In fact, I can see a lot of changes in me from the person that I was just a few months ago.
Having said that, it would not be wrong to say that whatever I have done or thought in the past had certainly resonated with my thoughts at that time, even though I would not do many things the ‘same way‘ now. Standing in now, I don’t have any regrets on the decisions or actions I have taken in the past, even though I see many of them as mistakes or blunders now.
I have no idea what the future has in store for me, or what my thoughts would be in the future. I think what is important is going through with what we are thinking at this moment, and not taking actions based on what we have done in the past or how our thought process had been in the years gone by. Even if that means throwing away all the articles or topics I have already written, or taking a sudden career path, or deciding to interact with a different set of people – perhaps even in a new city or country.
This quote by Emma Smith looks so appropriate now – “Life is like the river, sometimes it sweeps you gently along and sometimes the rapids come out of nowhere.”
And that is what I am going to do, live each day as it comes, and doing what seems best at the moment, irrespective of how others feel about it, or even how I have felt about it in the past. Just as the flow of a river never stops until it joins the ocean, our lives also never stop or pass through the same spot twice. The river might change its direction due to obstacles in the path, which it either wears down or finds a way around until it reaches its destination, slowly and persistently. We should always do the same with our lives too.
The point I want to make through this article is the significance of death. In my opinion, death is the ultimate deadline, just like any other we face in our lives, given by our boss or wife. Death is what makes life relevant. What would life be if nobody would die? And life of people who forget that their life has a limit is a testimony to this fact.
The biggest blunder we can do with a deadline is forgetting that there is a deadline. What is a football match if there is no timing, and it continues forever? The end is what makes everything in this world worthwhile. As I said in a previous article, our task in life is to cause a disturbance in this world while we are alive, and death is the deadline for this task. Without death, this task would have no meaning. And it is only after death that we can measure what we have left behind.
I now know how true this is
And no deadline is the end, it is the beginning of something new. You finish a task on time – what do you get out of it? The task was most likely a vehicle to deliver something, to start something new. We don’t mourn the completion of a deadline, instead we celebrate!
With life, obviously there will be a grieving and mourning period if we loose our loved one (like my mom recently), but we must also make sure to celebrate the life of those who are no more with us.
In my case, my mother’s life was an investment – in creating the family that she has left behind. And as she used to say – “It is not the length of life that matters, it is the depth of it that does”. And I am testimony to the fact that in the 51 years that she lived, she did or achieved what most people can’t do even in a 100 years.
I know that a part of me has also died with her and this void can never be filled, but at the same time I realise that I must celebrate her life too – for the kind of love, courage, strength and mental toughness I saw in her was unmatchable. I (and we) must not forget that our life is a vehicle to start something new, make something better, and it continues after the deadline is over (death).
From birth till death, whatever we do or achieve are only the inputs or raw materials on which something great is about to be built in the future – the life after the deadline. Have you ever thought about that? What are the fruits of your life that the world will enjoy after it ends?
If we examine the lives of great leaders like Mahatama Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Henry Ford, etc we will realise it is not they who benefit out of their hard work but the future generations. Most of the times these leaders were not even alive to witness the fruits of their labor. It is ironical, but I guess that is just one of the paradoxes of life.
As Mark Twain once said – “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Given the way my mother lived, it was no surprise that she went in peace. She did not once during her last 9 years of treatment showed any signs of worry (about death) or losing her composure.
In fact, she surprised everyone (doctors, relatives, etc) by the energy and love she carried around herself. Death is what makes our lives meaningful, irrespective of how painful they are.
Death is where it all starts, not where it all ends !!
One side effect of being an entrepreneur is that you stop hearing the word “NO“. In fact, one can say that you still hear the word but you don’t listen to it or it doesn’t stop you anymore. Where it gets interesting is when this start happening even in personal and day-to-day issues apart from just professional matters, as I have observed in the last few months.
Lately I have noticed that how I have annoyed and surprised many people as I have ignored when they said NO to a certain matter, or how I have come up and followed up with them again and again. People are not used to hear back from people after they have uttered the NO word, but it works for me as long as it gets the job done.
What’s your definition of NO?
I think what entrepreneurship has done is forced me to change the definition of NO to “not right now”, “not this way” or something else depending on the situation. If I look back, I can remember very clearly a few instances when I have followed up on a NO response with – “How about tomorrow?”, “How about if I do it this way?”, or “Is there another way we can work it out?” and similar such questions until I get at least a part of what I wanted in the first place.
When we are working on something we really care about, it is very easy to get discouraged. It is very normal to even assume NO as the answer if the opposite party doesn’t reply or get back to us for a few days. But the truth is that there is probably a reason unknown to us for the No or No Reply. And in most of the cases, there is an alternate to that reason which, if explored, could lead to a Yes eventually.
I guess this is almost second nature to entrepreneurs, but we must always keep persevering if we “really” want to get what we desire. And if it is meant to be, it will happen eventually. We just have to keep on it, day after day, week after week, and month after month.
And even if you get a final NO (like somebody threatening to hit you the next time you bring a certain issue up) or you decide to move on (which is always a fine line), I have also realized that setbacks are often the starting points of something else, and not an end in itself. The only question is how we approach them, and where we draw that thin line between “giving up” and “going after what you really care about“.
It has been three months today since my mother passed away, and since I have written anything. Maybe because words aren’t enough to capture what is going on in my mind lately. Maybe because I don’t want the world to see me vulnerable. Maybe because I am scared or confused, frustrated and angry.. Or perhaps, it is life’s way of teaching me something new. Three months have passed, and although I am more at peace, I have come to realize that life will NEVER be the same again…
It has not been easy – these last three months. I have often found myself lost and asking questions like – Where I am going? What purpose will it serve? What do I want? And who and what really matters? It has been a painful process, but I guess there are also some lessons and learnings in it. I have done things in the last three months I have never done before, or never thought I would do. But does anything matter?
As some of my friends have reminded me, I should write again. And so I am writing this small post to tell the world I am still alive. Life is turbulent, and I guess this is just one of those patches, and I will come out of it as a better person. And though I have not written lately, I have thought about writing a lot, and I will pick it up again soon. So hang in there, I feel a lot better every passing day.
I will leave you with this poem which I read somewhere and this is what I think She is trying to say to all her loved ones from wherever she is –
” When tomorrow starts without me, & I’m not there to see Your eyes full of tears, showing your love for me
I wish you wouldn’t cry so much, the way you did that day Thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you And each time you think of me, I’m thinking of you too
So when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand An angel came & called my name & took me by my hand
It was time for me to take my place, in heaven far above Leaving everyone behind, especially the ones I love
As I turned & walked away, a tear fell from my eye Remembering the life I lived & why I had to die
I do not want to go, with having so much to do It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you
So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think that we’re apart For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart. “
1. Agreements
Reality is just an agreed notion, either by a large number of people or by someone for whom we have the illusion of being an expert. For example – If a majority of people believe in a superstition or a religious practice, it is considered the truth in that part of the world. People are killed, children are raised, and wars are fought over such widely agreed beliefs. Similarly, if an expert says something, people tend to believe it as reality. If a doctor says you are ill, then you must be. If a scientists makes a remark, we take it very seriously even if it is totally opposite of what we believe in.
2. Standards Set by Average People
Most of the time people make rules just because they would be out of a job if they don’t do so. This is mostly true of people in power, whether they are in a government or in a school, college or a company. Most of the standards about what we should do, what we should not do, and how to do something and how not to, are made by some group of very average who are nominated (or elected) for that position. And it is amazing to see how so few people question them and live their whole lives driven by those standards. Watch the below video to get amazed.
3. What our mind/brain tells us?
The human brain takes in all perceptions from the outside world and forms a reality for us through our thoughts and perceptions. It is reflected in the ‘real’ world by the words we speak and write. What we observe is ‘instantly real’ for us? This is why we are so amazed by magic or optical illusions. But when someone explains the reasoning behind, we see a different reality. Why? Only because our brain changed our perception of reality on seeing the proof behind the magic? But in that moment, that illusion was our reality?
4. A Mirage and a Mystery
Life is at best, a mystery to humans, one bigger than we have the potential and capacity to understand. See this bizarre “Double Slit Experiment” done by Quantum Physicists to get the shock of your life. Who knows if there are multiple realities where every possible outcome is played out in a parallel universe. Each of us will observe something different depending on our frame of perception.
As I have written in some of my previous articles, what distinguishes great people and organizations is not how they succeed, but how they fail. Great organizations (especially dealing with innovation) are about taking risks to do things that haven’t been done before. And like with any experiment – you know there are going to be more failures than successes. That is the definition of innovation. If the odds were higher and success was almost certain in every one of two cases or so, every Tom, Dick and Harry would be doing it.
Take Intelligent Risks
We live in a world of risks, and we live in a world of failure. Entire industries like venture capital, portfolio management and insurance work on the model of taking intelligent bets and risks, and making the few big wins count more than the numerous failures. So rather than eliminating risks, we should take intelligent risks and learn to eliminate the uncertainties. Because without risks, there is no moving ahead.
Look Far Ahead – The Bigger Perspective
When you look at the big picture you will realize that when you fail you are not finished. Failure doesn’t mean a full stop, it just means a temporary barrier on your way to wherever your vision is going to take you. Failures build our character amid immense challenges, and that is an incredible muscle to build for tough times. Over the period of a long journey, the definition of failure changes for most people, and we start becoming much less scared of it.
Be Ok with the Fear of Failure
What is lacking in the current environment is the concept of constructive failure, by which I mean the ability of doing things and failing, then learning from the mistakes and iterating until you reach the milestone of success. Failures can by compared to the lighting lamps on the way to every success story. Being able to take failure as an asset is a unique trait. When you really learn is when you are confronted with failure.
Dont Live Life, Be Alive
Many people say you can learn from the failure of others, but there is only limited knowledge and experience you can gain from reading books and listening to others. You can’t relive the experience of falling from a bike by reading about it. So in terms of failure, if we ‘really’ want to learn the lessons and want our time and money’s worth from failure, they better be our own. There are some experiences which must be felt if you have to learn the lessons with them, and there are no short cuts.
Infact, most of the success stories we know today are also stories of many more failures which are never highlighted by the media. To give a few examples, Henry Ford failed in five businesses before starting the Ford Motor Company and Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota for a job and was jobless for some time before he started making his own scooters at home. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper for a “lack of imagination” before he started Disney. To stress the point that innovation in business is similar to experiments by scientists, we have the examples of Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers. We will have examples in art, politics and sports too of such people, and some names that come to mind are Winston Churchill, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, JK Rowling, Elvis Presley and Michael Jordan.
We live in a world today where we have luxuries available which has never been available for any previous generation. Today we can travel to any part of the world within a matter of hours (and not months), we can talk and interact with our friends and family real time anywhere on the planet, and that too free over the internet. We live in a world where information about any topic is readily available on our handheld device or computer. We have GPS in our phones and in our vehicles and can never get lost. Companies have employees working in different countries and time zones collaboratively. Globalization is truly upon us.
With our children and next generation growing up in environments where they get access to a laptop and smartphone before they access books, where they get access to video games before learning what sports and games really are, don’t you think our children are missing some very important life skills which all previous generations had the opportunity to experience? In an ever busy and fast paced world where everybody is running, don’t you think we are missing out on life? Below are five skills which I think our younger generation is being deprived of :-
1. Simple Living and Self Sustainable Communities
While we have the latest cars and metro systems in our cities today, and can get pre-cooked food home delivered free to our homes, which is ready to eat after a few seconds in the microwave, aren’t we depriving our children of basic human activities like walking amidst nature (be it a park or a road) or the thrill of growing our own vegetables and then the excitement of the art of cooking with different masalas and ingredients. In the modern world, we have turned many such arts (cooking, walking, gardening) into just products available over the shelf. But can we also buy the lessons and values one gets doing these simple activities?
Life is simple. It was never meant to be globalized. We have commercialized our lives in the wave of consumerism like never before. Man doesn’t need more than water and fresh fruits and vegetables to survive, yet why our definition of drinking has more of Coke, Pepsi, Budweiser instead of just plain water? Why our definition of eating involves going out to a fast food joint and gulping on that latest pizza or burger? For kids growing up in this environment, aren’t they missing the values of self-help, sharing and community. Globalisation has brought a lot of good and prosperity in this world, but there is a world possible without it, and our kids need to know that.
Isn’t something eery about this pic?
2. Our Ancient Treasures of Knowledge
Coming to our education systems and the kind of knowledge we are giving our students, we have the best in class international schools with air conditioned rooms and global syllabus available today to ‘better’ prepare them for the ‘changing’ world. While we teach all about modern mathematics, technology, science and all about which careers to pick and what businesses to join, what happened to our ancient treasures of knowledge which I feel could form a very strong backbone for whatever careers they choose? The ancient treasures of our religion, of our society, the different mythological tales and the invaluable lessons in them. Why are we not teaching the treasure of wisdom found in our Vedas, Gitas, Qurans and Bibles to our children?
3. Dignity of Self and All
We live in a fast paced world and society where stepping over others is as common as passing people on the street or at work without even having the time to say ‘hi’. How many of us have people around us with whom we work and interact daily (our co-workers, grocery shop-keepers, maids, neighbors) but hardly know anything about their lives? Stepping over others in the race to be successful is considered fair, and big scandals and scams are reported everywhere, from politics to business. The same is true for us – we are riddled with stress, worry and depression over a small loss in business or money. What happened to the value of dignity of a human being? Are we teaching our children (and ourselves) that we are not defined by our money or possessions, and that while they may be important, an abundance of them doesn’t make us any richer or better than any other human being? And in the same vein, the lack of man made stuff like money, status and possessions does not take away anybody else’s dignity and make them smaller or less privileged than those who have them?
4. Creativity
In this world of cut copy paste where everything is available ready made and pre-packaged, the future generation is missing out on the art of assembling things together and creating something new and useful. Rather the consumerism society we live in today focuses more on use and throw. The art of creativity, of thinking of a hundred new ideas and then having fun while trying them out is what makes us prepare our muscles for the tough times, but the question we need to ask is – Is our younger generation learning this skill?
5. Discipline
I think we are giving our children all the wrong ideas of which rules to follow and which not (not by telling them, but by the experience they have). By growing up in a capitalist economy where everyone is in a race to get ahead, we have all seen the numerous scandals, and the ever prevailing corruption in our day to day activities. By living our lives in a certain way, perhaps we are not setting the right example for our future generations to lead their lives in a disciplined way. We are not teaching them what their rights are, and how to fight for them in a dignified manner rather than taking the easy way out.
The kindest thing we can do to ourself is to forgive the unforgivable. Our “enemy” may not deserve to be forgiven, but we deserve to be free. The earlier we realize that our anger doesn’t do any harm to the other person, and most likely they are not even giving a thought about us, the better it would be. We should rather strive to see the “unfortunate things” that happen to us as little tests to make us into a better, stronger and wiser person. And to turn it around, we should actually thank this person for giving us this “test” that strengthens us. And, as I have said in a previous article, forgiveness is not about acceptance of wrong behavior. It is our gift to ourself, not the other party.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
I am a big fan of quotes and one-liners, and while writing and pondering over the issues of giving up anger and embracing forgiveness in the last few months, I have come across a list of quotes I have found filled with immense wisdom about the topic. Read my top 10 list below –
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Remember that we are all doing the best we can at the time. -Diane Paul
I know that I need to forgive someone, not for their benefit, but for my own peace of mind. Don’t do it for them, do it for you! -Cathryn Kent
You remember why you love them. Love is about forgiveness.- Holly Chapman
Give up on all hope of a better past. -Matt Child
Forgiveness comes easy when you know that what people say or do is about them, it’s not about you. -Kim Kings
“Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.”
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. – Thomas Szasz
True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment. – David Ridge
A lack of trust is sometimes simply recognizing another’s limitations – Rose Sweet
Let me try to sum up what I am thinking right now in as few words as possible.
The Crap Trap of Life
We live in a system, a system of education, work, family and life – which tells us about how to do things and how not to. You pursue your favorite education course to get that dream job. You get paid for doing that, just like everyone else around you. You see and experience that you must earn more so that you can spend more, to buy a product or service which will make you happy, or let you do something you enjoy. But after some time, you will have to go back and earn so that again you can spend. So that you can do what you enjoy.
There are rules for how to get loans to buy your dream car or your dream house. There are rules for how to raise your kids. And you have no option but to continue working in that job you know is not the best way for you to spend your eight hours of each day. You have hardly any time to think in the daily commotion of life, and so days, months and years pass by. And before you know, you are old and you die. This is what I call the CRAP TRAP!
The only good news – It is our Choice
Doesn’t it sound like you are in a maze ? In this maze we see only the next turn and assume that we are going ahead when we are only moving in a cycle. A day is a cycle, and similarly so is a week, month and year. You get your hair cut and it grows back up, similarly you do a job and it needs to be done tomorrow again. It is never finished, and we all live through the same cycle.
In this stupid maze, where are ‘WE‘? What are we doing? Or are we even doing something? Would anything change if someone would suck us out of this maze? Would life change in the maze?
I believe we all are the change we leave behind in this world (the maze) when we die. Everything else we do is non-consequential. The only thing that matters is the disturbance or change you leave behind. Did you leave the world any better or worse? Did you create a ripple in the universe?
Mahatama Gandhi once said – “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” And indeed, it is one of the greatest myths of this world that we have to fight our battles in the outside world.
Everyone who has reached the pinnacle of sport, business, or his/her chosen profession knows that there comes a time when you realize that the real opponent which you have to fight is you yourselves. To take our performance above a certain level, we need to break our safety walls and take new actions which previously we might not have even thought of. By changing ourselves we actually change the world around us.
Commitment
If we want to improve our performance manifold, instead of just learning new courses or reading new books, we need to work on our commitment to the goal we are after. We should make that commitment so unwavering that our own lazy and procrastinating self (and yes, we all have that) can’t stop us from doing what is necessary.
So don’t miss the morning walk, even if you are sick or it is raining outside. Don’t stop doing something just because it is getting tough for you. You have given a commitment, and it is your fight with yourself that you need to win to complete that commitment.
Excellence
If we can demand nothing less than excellence from ourselves and others in every little task we do, whether it is watering the plants or giving that presentation, the kind of results we produce will change dramatically.
We should strive to give our best to every second, and not just in the important events. We have to make things happen, by doing what we have never done before, or by doing them in a way that we have never tried before.
“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” — Yousuf Karsh
Discover The Strength Inside
All of us have amazing strengths which we never realize or acknowledge unless we are forced by some sudden situation which requires us to act beyond what we think we are capable of. This is epitomized by the famous saying – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
So the so-called ‘tough‘ people seem to get their strength out of nowhere in tough times. Our defeats tell us more about ourselves than our victories. We all have tremendous reservoirs of strengths hidden beneath us, but we have to dig deep and defeat our own ‘stay in comfort zone‘ self to uncover it.
I will end with this powerful quote by Arnold Schwarzenegger
“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”
No matter how good or better we become, it is a fact that we all are going to have bad days sometimes. The only thing which can separate some from the others is how quickly you bounce back once you realize you are having a bad day. I wrote five points in an earlier article on how to get back up, and in this article I follow those with five more points. What we should always remember is summed up by this quote from Confucious – “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
Stand up for yourself
6. Practice a hobby
Write down 5 things that you love to do. Then write down some action which you can take in all these 5 areas today, and just do it! Even if it is for 2-3 minutes, take time out in doing that. Give yourself the gift of having a good time, and do it daily. It will clear your head and make you healthy and stress free. I like to do my sketching with something daily, even if it is just doodling around. I write pretty regularly, sometimes just to let my thoughts out and only for myself. So go out dancing, watch that movie you have been putting off for some time, or listen to your favorite music. Forget everything and cherish the moment.
7. Read a book
Reading a book gives us the perspective that life is bigger than our silly lives, and there are better things to do. They also show us that there is a lot of good out there in the world, and there is always something worth reading daily. I read autobiographies, fiction, blogs, history books, and books from distinguished writers and speakers such as Stephen Covey, Robin Sharma, among others. Currently I am reading “Business Stripped Bare” by Richard Branson and “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand. I give around 30 mins to both books each day, and I am sure it has a great impact on the rest of my day.
8. Experiment
Do new things in life, and throw yourself into experiencing new things. Live your life as a work of art, and embrace whatever new comes your way. So many beautiful things will happen to you out of such experiments, mainly because there is no expectations attached with them. And even if nothing else, you will have a great story to tell at the end. Meet new people, try new hobbies, do something crazy. Make life INTERESTING.
“Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep.” – Madonna
9. Be Thankful
Make a list of 10 points you are grateful for in your life today. Now do this every day. List the names of 50 most important people in your life, and write down 10 things you are grateful for, against each of them. If you want, share it with them. Thank them for being there in your life.
10. Know your value
Never allow people to take you for granted. Know your self worth, and demand what you deserve. The first step is demanding from yourself the kind of life you want to live, and the standards you want to follow. Then demand from others. Demand money for services you provide. Demand the kind of respect you know you deserve. And demand from yourself to be worthy of that.
Sometimes back I wrote about why people are the best investment we can ever do. Today I was thinking of how simple it is to make a conscious effort to show people they matter to us. I came up with these 10 simple points to show the people in our life what they mean to us –
Very true
1. Ask for their opinion on something important to us. It will give us some valuable ideas and leave them feeling valued. 2. Thank him/her for something they did for us, now or in the past. 3. Show interest in their lives, and look if there is any way we can contribute. 4. Respect their time. Always be the first one to reach for a meeting. Never make them wait. 5. Don’t do anything else while talking to them directly or over the phone. Give them your full attention. 6. Apologize when you make a mistake. Ask what can you do to make it up to them? 7. Show your faith in them, even when they themselves don’t. Tell him/her – “I believe in you”. 8. Share your dreams, plans, crazy ideas with them. And listen to theirs. 9. Celebrate their successes and victories. 10. Make what is important to them, important to you
If you have to do only one thing, love people
Life is about relationships and not things. And a strong relationships is built day by day, like any strong building or organization. So let’s make daily efforts to show people that they are special and we care about them.
P.S. – These are not a set of tips we can use to manipulate others. Believe me, people are smart enough to sense out the fake from the real and genuine.
Peaceful Warrior doesn’t seem to stop amazing me everytime I watch it. Depending on what state of mind you are in, this movie presents you different insights from the wonderful dialogue delivery and scenes depicted in the movie. For me, this movie is much more than just a movie, it is a piece of art – a wonderfully scripted and executed version of the book – The Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Start Looking Inside for Answers
Traditionally we have always looked for answers to our questions in the outside world. We do so by seeking knowledge, advice, different tools, technologies and products from the outside world. But after a momentarily phase of satisfaction, we tend to come to the same questions sooner or later. This movie, at various different points, depicts that the answers to the most difficult of our questions actually lie inside, which is very difficult and confronting for most of us to believe. But if we start seeking inside and getting present to everything in a totally new way, we can be amazed by the things we discover. I guess this power we get from the inside is the same stuff highlighted by different religions and philosophers and spiritual leaders, albeit in very different ways.
Keep a Good Sense of Humor about Ourself
A wonderful strength to have is to keep a good sense of humor, especially about ourselves. Many times we end up taking our lives too seriously in the quest of goals and achievements, and miss a lot of fun and happiness in the process. Having a good sense of humor about ourselves certainly helps take things lightly and not let them become stress or tension. If we can laugh at ourselves, we can blunt out the edges of jokes targeted at us, and everyone can have some good fun. Life is too short to take yourself too seriously, and if you can be the reason for some good laughs, you should be proud you are proving helpful in providing others a few moments of happiness.
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. —Thomas Szasz
If you Get what you Want, You Suffer. If you Don’t, you still Suffer
The biggest lie we say to ourselves is – “If I get this result, or achieve that goal, I will be happy.” When we tie our happiness to the outcome of our goals, like most humans do, we suffer when we don’t get what we want. But even if we get what we want, we still suffer, because then there are bigger goals and milestones waiting as time moves on. Time doesn’t stop at the instant where we won something and are jubilant, and since time always moves on, we can’t hold on to that victory. The whole cycle repeats itself over and over again.
Life is beautiful in its surprises and unpredictability. We can never predict what is going to happen or not, but if we tie ourselves to ONE goal or result, we will miss all other unexpected results and joys life will throw in the way. Being in a space of being ‘not sure‘ what to find will allow us to welcome everything that comes our way. And this is a fact, whether we accept it or not. It is true that we will never have control over what happens to us in the future. It is the JOURNEY what brings us happiness, not the DESTINATION.
Life is about Absolute Vulnerability
This movie depicts wonderfully that true courage lies not in victory or perfection, but in absolute vulnerability. The ability to step out of our comfort zones and get into zones where we are fully vulnerable will decide how alive we feel in every moment. It is also very often called as ‘living on the edge‘ when we are aware of every step and every breath we take with our full attention without letting the unnecessary clutter of the past and the future getting in the way. And it needs courage to live life like that, and can lead to a truly amazing experience of life, rather than just living for results and achievements.
There is No Starting or Stopping, Only Doing
When Socrates asks Dan to resume his training after the accident, Dan had no clue how was that even possible, or where to start? To this Socrates said, “There is no starting or stopping, only doing.” The only thing we have, and will always have, is “right now“. Everything else we think we have or aspire to have is just an illusion. Right NOW, this moment is the only reality, and in this reality there is no starting or stopping, but only doing. If we can pay all attention to our doing and throw out everything else in our mind, we can achieve a new level of performance in what we are actually doing and will most likely end up producing amazing results.
I use cookies on this website to give you the most relevant experience and for analytics purposes. Any personal data collected will never be shared with any third party, or used to spam you. That is my promise. - Sumit By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
Commitment
