hope

  • How to Communicate When the Going Gets Tough, and Things Get Messy?

    The world is unpredictable and full of chaos and change. Many things can cause worry and tension in an organization. Mergers & acquisitions, leadership wrangles, controversies, and pandemics such as Covid-19 are just some of the many things that can cause a crisis within the organization. 

    The true test of leadership occurs when the going gets tough. How you handle yourself and communicate with your team during tough times is what determines whether your organization will rise or fall.

    Thanks to the unpredictable nature of the world around us, leaders often find themselves with little time to prepare. And no excuse will ever be enough if you fail to respond in a timely manner. At the same time, you must take caution because taking the wrong approach when communicating will do more harm than good.

    The infamous BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is a good example of how not to respond during a crisis. Not only did millions of liters of oil spill into the sea, but also 11 crewmen lost their lives. BP’s chief executive, Tony Hayward, dealt with the disaster in the worst way possible; he shifted blame entirely to Transocean and Halliburton even before investigations had started. Investigations later revealed that BP’s gross negligence is what caused the disaster. By then, the damage had already been done with the energy giant’s credibility taking a major hit. 

    But look at Alan Mulally. In 2006, Ford was on the verge of declaring bankruptcy when Bill Ford brought Mullaly on board. He brought the company back to profitability, and not only that, Ford weathered the 2008-2009 depression without much turbulence. Alan Mulally accomplished this using clear communication and one slogan that echoed through the entire organization, “One Team.”

    The above examples show the tremendous impact of a leader’s words and actions during a crisis. To help you navigate those murky waters of uncertainty that every crisis brings along with it, consider utilizing the following guidelines to communicate during a crisis.

    1. Absorb Emotions. Do Not Amplify Them

    Fear, stress, and other emotions usually run high during any crisis. As a result, chaos can ensue. As a leader, the first step you can take is to manage your own emotions. Your employees look to you for reassurance. If you project fear, they will notice it and can panic. Once you learn to observe your emotions, you can reassure your team. This will help you calm the brewing storm of emotions, and not amplify the emotions of others.

    Each human being acts like a tuning fork. Every emotion is like a wave, which when reaches others, either accentuates or dies down depending on whether the frequencies match or not. When we learn to master our own emotions, it will dampen any emotional waves and allows collaboration, even in the face of disagreement. We can strengthen our relationships with others, even in the most stressful and difficult situations.

    Listen to People’s Concerns & Understand Them

    Be human and embrace the emotions that everyone is experiencing in moments of crisis. You will also need to be transparent about how the situation is affecting you. Opening up, sharing, and displaying vulnerability on such occasions is important, as it can help you build trust. People appreciate knowing that no one is having it easier.

    Try to connect with them by asking people how they are feeling. This will not only provide an outlet for venting emotions but will also provide you with rich feedback to consider while working on a solution. It is much more effective than simply asking how they are doing.

    As much as possible, try to have this meeting in a setting where you both can see each other (and not over email or chat). This is another key element of trust-building, as it shows that you care enough to address them in person. If you cannot be in the same space, set up a meeting via video call.

    You will find that communication is usually better when you can read a person’s emotions through their body language and facial expressions. This is because their subconscious feedback will allow you to adapt your message and tone to soothe their anxiety.

    Be Calm. Don’t React

    During the heat of the moment, some folks might get too emotional. But you cannot control the feelings of another human being. Therefore, allow them to express themselves freely despite your urge to jump in. Calmness is one of the best ways of showing that you are in control of a situation.

    Look at Things from Others’ Point of View

    Putting yourself in the shoes of others will allow you to see things from their point of view. After listening to what someone has to say, suppress the urge to start providing solutions immediately. Instead, bring attention to their (and any shared) values and feelings. At times, this might be all you need to do to reassure your team. 

    However, you might need to do more. For example, ask deeper questions to encourage more active participation. This is also a great way of empowering your team, especially during a crisis, when they are more than likely feeling powerless. 

    2. Show People They Matter

    During a crisis, you will need to communicate with your teams more often than is the norm. Frequent communication shows your people that they are on top of your priorities, and this goes a long way in reducing their fear and uncertainty.

    This means that you might have to repeat your core message several times. While it might feel tiring, you have to remember that people under stress need constant reassuring.

    While at it, ensure that your staff has channels through which they can contact you. Regardless of how many times you call or visit them, if the interactions only occur when you choose to, you risk missing out on all incoming communication. Providing them with a channel through which they can reach you directly allows them to know that their feedback matters to you.

    Keep emphasizing how you want to hear from them, regardless of their level. This will go a long way in building the trust you will need when it comes to implementing any change you might want to implement.

    The feedback channel should not be for show; make sure that you listen to what people are expressing. Therefore, you will need to respond to their feedback periodically. 

    Show Care for People by Taking Care of What They Care About 

    The biggest concern people have during a crisis is whether they will still have a job. While being reassuring is important, it is crucial that you are honest. If part of the solution will involve some people being laid off, the best course of action is to deliver the message as soon as possible. 

    Remember, there is no good time to deliver bad news. The sooner, the better. It allows people to start planning early. Even if you have to break the bad news about layoffs, you can help to soften the blow by choosing an outplacement vendor to help employees with the transition.

    How AirBnB’s CEO Brian Chesky delivered the announcement that the company would have to make layoffs following Covid-19 restrictions is one of the best examples of how to deliver such news. 

    Do What is Required to Take Care of People’s Physical and Mental Well Being

    The mental well-being of your employees should also be among your top considerations. During stressful times, people become more susceptible to mental health issues. Try to take care of that by providing them with resources or tools to support them. Address the issue during your meetings and let them know that the company is there for anyone who might be experiencing mental health issues.

    Highlight Togetherness, and Tell People They Matter

    During trying moments when stability is elusive, it is important to highlight togetherness. Let your people know that the only way to overcome the situation is by maintaining solidarity with each other. The best way of passing this message across is by reinforcing the company’s core values.

    Base your message around statements or questions such as:

    • Who are we as a company?
    • What are our values?
    • What do we believe in?
    • What is our purpose?

    Let your people know that their work matters. People get enormous pride and motivation, knowing that their work is not only appreciated but also contributes to the greater good. Tell people that we are in this together, and you will not be left behind.

    Praise People for Holding up in Adversity, and Ask Them to Look for the Good and Lessons from the Crisis

    People feel good when they are seen, heard, and their effort acknowledged. Do not underestimate the value of positive feedback, as it goes a long way in boosting an individual’s morale and productivity. It also allows them to feel like they are part of a team, thus boosting trust and loyalty within your workforce.

    Therefore, even though you might have a lot on your plate, make sure that you address and acknowledge the hard times that your people have been going through. Acknowledge their ability to adapt, in addition to praising any accomplishments they might have had during the crisis.

    This lets your teams know that you care about them as individuals.  Additionally, ask them to take lessons from the crisis, as it will only make them better – as human beings and at work.

    3. Give Hope for the Future

    Keep in mind that your staff might be under tremendous pressure or anxiety due to the uncertainty of the crisis. As a leader, one of your main objectives is to give them hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Show (or Create) a Plan to Remove Confusion

    Remember, you are in charge. Therefore, take charge and evaluate your options. It is important that you take action as soon as possible.  Indecisiveness will only breed anxiety and can lead to people questioning your leadership. Therefore, create a plan and explain how things are going to be, as soon as possible.

    However, make sure that you explain your decisions. People might not like or agree with all that you have decided, but they will appreciate that you have taken it upon yourself to explain your decisions. Explain the various courses of action that you considered, and why you decided that this particular one was the most appropriate choice.

    Make sure to align your actions to the company’s core values and purpose, as that will help them feel certainty, togetherness and not confusion.

    Remove Uncertainty. Go Over the Facts. Give Clarity

    While sharing any information about the company’s future, be honest. Tell them all that you know while admitting that there are things you do not know. Embracing the ambiguity of the situation will allow your message to resonate with its recipients better. 

    Assure People by Highlighting What Steps You Have Taken to Ensure their Safety

    People need to know that you have taken actual steps towards ensuring their well-being. If any, highlight them and explain how they will help your team during the tumultuous period.

    Communicate with Confidence, Transparency, and a Positive Outlook for the Future

    In spite of your own uncertainty, you must project confidence when speaking to your teams. Be clear about everything so that you do not leave any room for speculation while remaining optimistic about the future. 

    Conclusion

    The true test of a leader is how they steer their ship and communicate during tough times. It might be difficult, but it is doable, as long as you are proactive, empathetic, and honest.

  • Don’t Allow Yourself to Use the Word TIRED

    Recently I was talking to a friend of mine, who has been a state-level Taekwondo Champion for the state of California. She was telling me about her strenuous training program which she used to follow when she was training. Among other things, the one thing which she told me was that she was not allowed to use the word “tired” even if the trainer asked her to do 300 push-ups. She said “tired” was the word which they could use only after they turned 80.

    The Role of Language in Shaping Our World

    Language plays a very important role in how we feel and go about our daily lives. The way we use language can determine the results we produce in the near and distant future. Researchers at Stanford University have proved that the way we use language shape how we see the world.

    It is often said that what you say is what you get. Saying that you are tired will actually make you feel tired and you will have all the symptoms to prove that. But we don’t realize that it was our word which caused it in the first place.

    So when someone asks you “How are you doing?” and you reply with, “I am tired” or “You know how Mondays’ are.“, we are actually contributing towards the impending tiredness or exhaustion by saying these words. The same goes for all the negative thoughts that come into our mind and out of our mouth, like “I don’t have enough money“, “I am not lucky” and so on.

    Language Creates and Generates Too

    Most people understand language to be descriptive and see it as a tool for communication. They are blind to the generative power of language. It is in language that people create their future and their present. Our mental models and unique assessments of the world determine the narrative we create for ourselves, which in turn determine the world we observe, and every action we take thereafter.

    For example – Every time you said yes or no to a request, you were not just communicating, but also creating a future. Your life would be different if you had said No instead of Yes to the various opportunities you said Yes to previously in your life.

    Chalmers Brothers and Vinay Kumar share this story in their book Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence: How Extraordinary Leaders Build Relationships, Shape Culture and Drive Breakthrough Results.

    Two baseball umpires were sitting around talking, and one says, “Old Joe, he’s a great umpire. There’s balls and there’s strikes, and he calls ‘em like they are.” The second umpire then says, “Yeah, Joe’s a great umpire… there’s balls and there’s strikes, but he calls ‘em like he sees ‘em.” Just then Joe walks up and says, “You’re both wrong… there’s balls and there’s strikes, but they ain’t nothin’ till I call ‘em!”

    They add,

    Language conveys commitment, not just information. By understanding your organization as a network of conversations, relationships, and commitments (human beings making and managing commitments), you can open dramatically new possibilities for intervening and improving performance in a wide variety of areas.

    “I am always in conversation. And sometimes other people are involved” – Mark Twain

    Words can Take Power away, or they can Give Power

    Whenever we say something, we increase our belief in it. We give power to outside situations, individuals, and circumstances which is always disempowering. Athletes, like my friend in the example above, are not allowed to use such language because the trainers are aware of this fact.

    On the other hand, when somebody asks you, “How are you doing?” and you reply, “I am doing great!!“, you will actually feel a smile on your face and some adrenaline rushing through your body. It is impossible to say I am doing great without actually feeling good.

    If you are stretching your limits while doing a task, instead of saying “I am tired“, next time try saying, “Let me check my physical limits.“, and you will gain the strength to go that extra mile and achieve the impossible.

    Do you see a connection between what you have been saying and how your life is turning out?

    One of the quickest ways to improve your way of being is to change the words you use, to others and to yourself. When I say words, it includes the spoken words and the unspoken thoughts too.

    Just by changing the words we use, we can release a lot of tension and create joy. So the next time you speak, be aware of the words that come out of your mouth. Be aware of how others’ negative words make you speak out negative words too, and vice versa. Try to catch yourself when in negative emotion and speak powerful words instead.

    Speak words that profit others, depict hope, courage, and inspiration and which create positive images. Then notice the difference in how your surroundings and people react.

    Some of the danger words which we should cut from our vocabulary are –

    1. Should / Could – These words, spoken for ourselves or for others, implies judgment and makes people defensive and tense.
    2. Try / Maybe – These words leave ambiguity and leave an option for you or another to escape commitment in case things get difficult.
    3. Always / Never / Nobody  / Everybody – These words generalize opinions which are rarely the case and can cause people to react unexpectedly.
    4. Bad / Disastrous / Terrible – These words spread panic and can lead to more mistakes, stress, and confusion.
    5. Nothing is gonna change / That’s how it is done here – Using such phrases creates a culture of resentment and cynicism which ends up killing all enthusiasm and creativity in people.

    Instead, you can use powerful words and make them work for you :-

    1. Declare a Commitment. 
      1. I commit to exercising 30 minutes daily.
      2. Let us commit together to make this company the best place to work for.
    2. Make a Promise
      1. I promise to finish this report in two days.
      2. I promise to never drink and drive again.
    3. Make a Specific Request
      1. Can you finish this report before Friday or not?
      2. If you like it, can you share this article on Facebook today?
    4. Offer Support
      1. Is there anything I can do to help you with this task?
      2. I am just a phone call away if you need me.
    5. Offer Hope
      1. You will make it through it. You are stronger than you think.
      2. Believe in yourself, not the critics. I know you will prove them wrong.

    Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. – Lao Tzu

    So the next time, instead of saying –

    • “I can’t exercise more, I am tired.”, say, “I am not tired, let me do one more round.”
    • “I can’t work outside because I have asthma”, say, “I will work to prove I am bigger than my asthma”
    • “I can’t do this because I don’t have enough money”, say, “How can I earn enough money to start doing this?”
    • “I am not feeling good, it is going to be a bad day”, say, “Today is going to be a great day and I am raring to go”
    • “My life sucks”, say, “Today is a new day. Let’s make the most of it!!”

    Do this and you will see that your days will get brighter and dreams will turn into reality. Break the pattern of using words that suck power out of you, and instead form a new habit of using words that give power to you and the people around you.