September 2024

*“How to”* questions focus on tactical, surface-level solutions rather than deep transformation. These questions imply that there’s a specific formula or step-by-step guide to solving complex leadership challenges. leadership isn’t about following a manual—it’s about shifting perspectives, developing emotional intelligence, and leading with authenticity in situations that are unpredictable and nuanced.

*Here’s why “how” questions miss the mark:*

*They Assume There’s One Right Way* : When you ask “how,” you’re looking for a fixed answer or a quick-fix solution. leadership is deeply personal. What works for one leader might not work for another because each leader’s context, personality, and challenges are unique. Asking “how” oversimplifies this complexity.

*They Avoid Self-Reflection:* True leadership growth comes from looking inward, identifying your values, strengths, blind spots, and mindset shifts. “How” questions bypass this inner exploration by seeking an external solution. For example, instead of asking, “How do I motivate my team?” a more powerful question is, “What is it about my leadership that may not be inspiring my team right now?”

*They Can Create Dependency:* “How” questions often reinforce the idea that someone else has all the answers, which can make a leader dependent on someone else’s guidance rather than trusting their own judgment and instincts. There is no handbook of leadership, even though everyone will give you theirs when you ask “how” questions.

*They Close Off Possibility:* Leadership is about navigating ambiguity and complexity. Asking “how” limits thinking to one route or solution – to what is already known or achieved in the past. It keeps us in the realm of incremental improvements rather than opening the door to disruptive, exponential growth.

In contrast, open-ended questions like “What’s possible?” or “What’s standing in my way?” expand thinking and open up a world of possibilities. aThese types of questions lead you into the realm of “what you do not know that you do not even know.” In leadership, this is the fertile ground where breakthroughs happen.

*They Focus on the Symptoms, Not the Root Cause:* “How” questions often address the immediate problem rather than exploring the deeper issue that’s causing it. If a CEO asks, “How do I improve team communication?” they can instead explore, “What beliefs or behaviors are currently hindering communication in the team?” This leads to more lasting change.

Many of the world’s greatest innovators, like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk, didn’t ask “how.” They asked questions like, “What if?” or “Why not?” These questions break the mold and allow creativity and visionary thinking to thrive.

Examples

Here’s a table that contrasts weak “how” questions with more powerful, expansive questions that unlock greater possibilities:

Weak “How” Questions	Powerful, Expansive Questions
How can I grow my business by 10% this year?	What’s possible if I remove all current limits on my business growth?
How do I get my team to meet their goals?	What would it take for my team to consistently exceed their goals?
How can I solve this problem?	What am I not seeing that could transform this situation entirely?
How do I become a better leader?	Who do I need to become to lead in ways that create exponential impact?
How do I scale my company?	What new markets or opportunities could 10x my company’s growth?
How can I motivate my team?	What kind of leader do I need to be to inspire my team to self-motivate?
How do I manage this challenge?	What’s standing in my way, and how can I leverage it as an advantage?
How can I improve my product?	What could I create that revolutionizes my industry?
How do I get more customers?	What untapped audience could I serve that I haven’t even considered?
How do I increase my efficiency?	What systemic changes would allow us to operate on a whole new level?
How do I handle this conflict?	What deeper issue or opportunity is this conflict revealing?
How can I make time for everything?	What truly matters, and how can I focus on that to maximize impact?
How do I manage my workload?	What am I doing that no longer serves me or the bigger vision?
How do I deal with competition?	What new paradigm can I create that makes competition irrelevant?
How do I prepare for next quarter’s results?	What bold moves can I make now that would disrupt next quarter’s expectations?

This contrast shows that while weak “how” questions tend to focus on specific, immediate tasks or problems, powerful questions invite broader thinking, challenge existing assumptions, and open up pathways to exponential growth.

Who Not How

The phrase “Who Not How” is a powerful mindset shift popularized by Dan Sullivan. This concept emphasizes the importance of focusing on who can help you achieve your goals rather than getting bogged down in the how of accomplishing them.

” How ” questions can indeed become a trap in certain situations, particularly when they focus too much on the process rather than the people involved.

“How” questions often lead to:

The Trap of “How” Questions

• Overthinking : They can cause people to get bogged down in details and processes.
• Limiting creativity : By focusing on the “how,” we may miss innovative solutions.
• Overwhelm : Complex “how” questions can paralyze action due to perceived difficulty.
• Individual burden : They can imply that the person being asked must solve the problem alone.

The Limitations of “How” Questions
“How” questions can hinder leadership and growth in several ways:

1. Promotes Micromanagement : “How” questions often focus on specific processes or methods, which can lead leaders to become overly involved in day-to-day operations.
2. Limits Creativity : By focusing on the “how,” leaders may inadvertently restrict innovative thinking and problem-solving approaches.
3. Creates Dependency : When leaders constantly provide answers to “how” questions, it can create a culture of dependency where team members always look to the leader for solutions.
4. Narrows Perspective : “How” questions tend to focus on immediate solutions rather than encouraging broader, strategic thinking

The Power of “Who” Questions
In contrast, “who” questions can unlock unlimited growth for leaders:

1. Encourages Delegation : By asking “who” questions, leaders shift their focus from processes to people, promoting effective delegation and empowerment.
2. Fosters Collaboration : “Who” questions naturally involve others in problem-solving, leading to more diverse perspectives and innovative solutions.
3. Develops Team Members : By identifying the right people for tasks, leaders can provide growth opportunities and develop their team’s skills.
4. Expands Networks : “Who” questions encourage leaders to look beyond their immediate circle, potentially uncovering valuable connections and resources.
5. Promotes Strategic Thinking : Instead of getting bogged down in details, “who” questions allow leaders to focus on high-level strategy and vision

Examples

Weak “How” Questions	Powerful “Who” Questions
How can I grow my business by 10% this year?	Who can help me achieve 10x growth this year?
How do I build a marketing strategy?	Who is the best marketing strategist I can partner with?
How can I scale my team without burnout?	Who can help me design a scalable and sustainable team structure?
How do I create more time in my schedule?	Who can I delegate tasks to that free up my time for higher value activities?
How can I improve my leadership skills?	Who can mentor me to become a more effective leader?
How do I solve this technical problem?	Who has the expertise to solve this technical problem quickly?
How can I motivate my team?	Who can provide insights on how to inspire and lead my team effectively?
How do I manage all these projects?	Who can take over managing these projects so I can focus on the big picture?
How do I get more sales leads?	Who is the best at generating high-quality leads that I can work with?
How can I raise capital for my business?	Who can connect me with investors or help me with fundraising?
How do I handle conflict in my team?	Who can help mediate and resolve conflicts effectively within my team?
How can I improve my product design?	Who is a product design expert that I can collaborate with?
How do I expand into new markets?	Who has experience in these markets that can guide our expansion?
How do I improve team communication?	Who is the right person to help implement better communication systems?
How can I innovate in my industry?	Who are the top innovators that I can learn from or partner with?
How do I manage my time better?	Who can help streamline my schedule and manage non-essential tasks for me?

This table illustrates how focusing on “who” instead of “how” allows leaders to leverage the strengths of others, enabling faster growth, more efficiency, and bigger breakthroughs.

Leaders in every growing company face a common challenge: creating momentum and increasing revenue while maintaining integrity. The key isn’t in adding more strategies or increasing complexity—it’s about aligning actions with promises and ensuring that integrity is the foundation of every step. Without integrity, nothing works. Here’s how leaders can use it to create immediate momentum, increase profits, and cut costs.

Step 1: Challenge Vague Commitments

One of the biggest reasons teams fail is because their commitments are too soft. Leaders need to challenge vague agreements and hold people accountable for their “yes.” When a team member says “yes,” it must be a firm commitment, not a way to end a conversation or avoid conflict.

One of the most overlooked issues in companies is when team members say “yes” out of politeness or a desire to please their bosses or clients, without fully committing. Leaders must challenge these “polite yeses” to ensure that what’s being promised can actually be delivered.

Politeness and humility often come in the way here. We don’t want to seem rude or incapable, so we nod and agree. But these half-hearted commitments are the cracks in your team’s integrity. When politeness gets in the way, your team ends up overpromising and underdelivering.

Example:

Imagine a project where the marketing department promises to deliver a campaign by the end of the month. Everyone assumes it’s a done deal, but the marketing lead hasn’t nailed down all the resources. By the time the deadline approaches, the campaign isn’t ready, and the sales team scrambles to fill the gap. That “yes” was never solid. If leadership had challenged it, asking for clarity on available resources and potential bottlenecks, this could have been avoided.

Action: Make sure every “yes” is backed by clear, actionable steps. Ask follow-up questions like:

• “Do you have the resources?”
• “Are there any risks we need to know?”
• “How confident are you in delivering this on time?”
• “What do you need to make this happen?”
• “What risks might prevent you from completing this?”

This way, you challenge ambiguity and turn it into concrete, dependable action. It’s uncomfortable, but integrity requires it.

Step 2: Stop Relying on Hope

Hope is not a strategy. Yet many leaders allow their teams to rely on hope when there’s uncertainty. Hope may give a temporary sense of comfort, but it doesn’t create results. You cannot build a business on “I hope this works.” Replace hope with action and certainty.

Example:

A tech company hopes its new product launch will meet customer expectations, but the feedback channels are weak. Instead of hoping the product works, they could have set up a structured feedback loop early on. By not relying on hope, they would have caught user concerns faster, saving them from bad reviews and a costly relaunch.

Action: In every meeting, challenge your team to stop using “hope” and focus on real actions. Ask:

• “What are the concrete steps we’re taking to ensure this happens?”
• “How are we monitoring progress?”
• “What’s the backup plan if this doesn’t go as expected?”

This approach reduces risk and prevents costly surprises down the road. It forces your team to be accountable and proactive.

Step 3: Track Every Promise—Even the Small Ones

Promises get forgotten in the chaos of growing a business. One missed commitment can derail a project, frustrate a client, or cause unnecessary rework, which costs time and money. Leaders must implement a simple system to track promises made across teams and departments.

Example:

A software development company promises a client they’ll deliver a new feature by a certain date. But there’s no system in place to track this promise internally. When the deadline arrives, the feature is nowhere near ready. The client is angry, the team scrambles, and costly overtime hours are put in. If that promise had been properly tracked and followed up, this entire mess could have been avoided.

Action: Use a simple tool—whether it’s a spreadsheet, project management software, or even email—to track every commitment. Make sure there’s clear visibility on who is responsible, what the deadline is, and what needs to be done to follow through.

This keeps the team accountable and ensures that nothing slips through the cracks. The result? Less rework, happier clients, and reduced costs.

Step 4: Encourage Open Conversations About Overcommitment

Teams often overcommit, thinking it shows dedication or ambition. But overcommitting only leads to missed deadlines, burnt-out employees, and projects that don’t deliver results. Leaders need to create an environment where it’s okay to say, “I can’t take this on right now.”

Example:

A startup was on the verge of launching its new service, and the CEO asked everyone to pitch in. The head of operations took on additional tasks despite already being overloaded. As a result, mistakes were made, the launch was delayed, and the team had to fix costly errors. If there had been an open conversation about capacity, these mistakes could have been avoided.

Action: Create a culture where team members feel safe to speak up when they are overcommitted. Encourage honesty, and ask them questions like:

• “Do you have the capacity to take this on?”
• “What can we remove from your plate so you can focus on this?”

When you allow your team to have these conversations, you prevent burnout and ensure that projects are completed efficiently, saving both time and money.

Step 5: Model Integrity by Following Through on Your Commitments

As a leader, the quickest way to build momentum and drive performance is to model integrity yourself. This means keeping every commitment you make, or addressing it immediately if you can’t. When leaders are consistent in following through, it sets the tone for the entire organization. This is the cornerstone of trust.

Example:

Consider a CEO who makes big promises in all-hands meetings but rarely follows up on them. Over time, employees start to doubt his word, and morale plummets. But imagine if that same CEO was known for always keeping his word or directly addressing when he couldn’t. Trust would be built, teams would work harder, and the company would save time and energy spent on unnecessary follow-ups.

Action: As a leader, always keep your promises. If something changes and you can’t follow through, be transparent and clean up the situation. Say:

• “I promised this, but things have changed. Here’s what I’m going to do to make it right.”

This builds trust and makes people more willing to give their best effort, which increases efficiency and productivity.

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Questions to gently provoke you to see blind spots that are currently producing results in your life that you want to avoid:

1. Have I said “yes” to any requests because I didn’t want to seem incapable, even though I knew I couldn’t follow through?
2. Have I ever agreed to a timeline just to avoid confrontation, knowing that I had no intention of meeting it?
3. Have I ever said “I’ll try” instead of giving a clear commitment, leaving myself an escape route if things get tough?
4. Am I allowing myself to back out of commitments when a “better” opportunity comes along?
5. In what situations do I agree to things knowing I’ll probably back out or delay without communicating it clearly?
6. Am I spending more time fixing problems caused by broken promises than I would if I communicated openly from the start?
7. What opportunities have I lost because I failed to fully commit, opting instead to make conditional promises that I later dropped?
8. How much stress, anxiety, or guilt do I experience because of promises I’ve made but can’t or won’t keep?

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In Conclusion: Integrity = Performance

Integrity isn’t just a nice-to-have value—it’s the foundation for success in any business. Without integrity, teams waste time, money, and energy. By challenging vague commitments, replacing hope with action, tracking promises, encouraging honest conversations about workload, and modeling integrity as a leader, you can generate immediate momentum, increase profits, and cut costs.

Integrity is not about being perfect. It’s about making clear, actionable promises and following through on them. When your team sees that integrity is non-negotiable, they will rise to the challenge. Performance will skyrocket, and your business will thrive.

Take Action Now:

• Challenge the next “yes” you hear.
• Eliminate hope from your team’s vocabulary.
• Start tracking every promise, even the small ones.
• Create a space for open conversations about overcommitment.
• Model integrity in your own actions.

When integrity drives your decisions, everything else falls into place. Without it, nothing works.

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If Your Hand Went Rogue? (an example I share often)

Imagine if your hand had a mind of its own. It moves when it wants, does what it feels like, and ignores your commands. You try to drink a glass of water, but the hand grabs a pen instead. You reach to shake someone’s hand, but it fumbles into your pocket.

This hand isn’t bad, but it’s no longer useful. It’s unpredictable. You can’t trust it. In fact, it causes more harm than good. Soon, you’d have no choice but to tie it down or, in extreme cases, consider removing it to stop the chaos it causes. The hand is no longer in integrity with the purpose it was designed for.

Now think of promises in your organization like that hand. When people make promises but don’t follow through, it’s like having a rogue hand. It’s not about being bad, but it makes the team or organization unworkable. A promise is a tool—when it’s out of integrity, the whole system starts to fail.

Just like you wouldn’t trust that hand, you can’t trust promises that aren’t kept. Deadlines get missed, projects fall apart, and trust erodes. The organization becomes less effective, like a body trying to function with a hand it can’t rely on.

When promises are out of integrity, the entire organization becomes less usable to the extent its promises are out of integrity. Productivity drops, frustration rises, and trust erodes. Just like the rogue hand, things fall apart.

To fix this, you don’t need to punish the person or cut them off from the team. You need to restore integrity. Have an honest conversation about what went wrong. Clear up the mess, and get back on track.