Look, we need to talk.

You’ve been lied to about how sales really works. Every sales training, every “proven system,” every expert who told you to “always be closing” has been feeding you complete nonsense. And you’ve been following it like gospel.

The result? You’re exhausted, you have long sales cycles, your pipeline is full of people who’ll never buy, and you’re competing with every other salesperson who learned the same useless tactics. It is not just killing your sales, it is killing your business from the inside-out.

It’s time to wake up.

What They Got Wrong

Here’s what traditional sales training taught you:

  • Chase every lead
  • Never take no for an answer
  • The customer is always right
  • Give your time away for free in a long sales process
  • Solve and address people’s objections
  • More activity equals more results
  • Any other version of “this is how it works” specific to your industry or market

Here’s the truth: This advice is designed to keep you small, desperate, stressed and easily replaced.

Sales is a leadership skill.

It is one of the most important aspects of being a leader. Sales leaders don’t beg. They don’t chase. They don’t slash prices. They don’t bend. They figure out what’s broken, tell you how to fix it, and get paid well for their expertise.

And at all times, they hold their head high in pride.

(before you read the below, I do not want you to treat my word as gospel either. I do not want you to believe or agree with anything below. All I suggest you do is deeply think about it, give it a chance in real conversations, and then make your own judgement call. whatever works for you, do that. I don’t care whether you believe this or not. I only care that you sell faster, with profit, and with your head held high with pride & honour)

Stop Doing These Things Right Now

Are you chasing people who can’t actually buy? Stop.

Every minute you spend trying to convince someone who has no money or authority is a minute you could be talking to someone who actually needs what you’re selling.

Do this instead: Ask the tough questions upfront. “What’s your budget for fixing this?” isn’t rude – it’s smart business.

Are you jumping straight into your pitch or presentation? Stop.

You’re not a walking product demo. You’re supposed to solve problems. But you’re talking about features and benefits before you even know what’s wrong.

Do this instead: Get obsessed with understanding their problems. The person who asks the best questions runs the conversation. Once you ask questions, shut up and listen. Then ask another question.

Are you competing on price? Stop.

When you lead with how cheap you are, you’re telling everyone you’re just another commodity. Commodities get squeezed and replaced. Experts get respected and paid what they’re worth.

Do this instead: Lead with what you know. Walk into every conversation as the person who fixes their specific kind of problem better than anyone else. I mean it. They should feel your presence and genuine (not fake) expertise before you open your mouth.

Are you taking every meeting that comes your way? Stop.

Your time isn’t free real estate. Every “yes” to the wrong meeting is a “no” to the right opportunity. Being busy doesn’t mean you’re being productive.

Do this instead: Be picky about who gets your time. If they can’t tell you why they need to meet, they probably don’t.

Are you giving away all your best ideas for free? Stop.

Every time you solve their problem during the sales conversation, you’re showing them they don’t need to hire you. Your knowledge is what makes you valuable – stop handing it out like free candy.

Do this instead: Figure out what’s wrong, confirm it hurts, then tell them what they need to buy to fix it.

Here’s What Changes When You Start Showing Up as a Leader in Sales

You get better clients. When you’re selective, people think you must be good and respect you for that. When you’re desperate, they can smell it from a mile away.

You make more money. Specialists always charge more than generalists. When you solve specific problems for specific people, price becomes way less important than results. The best buyers never care about paying more. They only care about getting their problem solved well so that they can focus on more valuable things for their business.

People actually respect you. Clients who value expertise treat you like a partner, not just another vendor. They listen to what you recommend instead of telling you what to do.

You close deals faster. People who actually need what you’re selling buy quicker than people who are just shopping around.

The Real Subconscious & Paradoxical Reason This Works Better

The old way was about convincing, persuading, and fighting through objections. There is no convincing required in sales. If you are convincing someone, you have already lost.

The new way is about owning your worth fully, positioning yourself right, diagnosing problems (like a doctor), and prescribing solutions only if you can help them. Be willing to walk away (and actually walk away) in all other situations.

Old thinking: “How can I talk them into buying?”

New thinking: “Are they even the right fit for what I do?”

Old approach: Present your stuff, send a proposal, pray they say yes.

New approach: Figure out what’s broken, tell them how to fix it, expect them to buy because they need it.

Old relationship: Vendor asking for business.

New relationship: Expert solving real problems and setting clear terms to engage.

Time to Respect Yourself

This isn’t about being a jerk or acting superior. It’s about having some self-respect and owning your worth. You know how to solve problems. People with those problems should be happy you’re willing to help them.

Stop apologizing for what you charge. Stop chasing people who don’t value what you do. Stop giving away your best thinking for nothing.

Start seeing yourself as the person to call when they have this specific problem. And tell others that.

Start asking better questions. Start walking away from deals that don’t make sense.

The Hard Truth About Why Most Sales People Struggle

Most salespeople fail because they’re scared to be choosy. They’re terrified of missing out, so they chase everything and end up with nothing good.

The successful ones are picky. They know what they’re worth. They understand that saying no to bad opportunities makes room for good ones.

Your income comes down to the problems you solve and who you solve them for.

Solve big problems for good people, make good money. Solve small problems for anyone who’ll listen, stay broke.

You Have a Choice

You can keep playing by traditional sales rules – chasing, discounting, begging, competing with every other desperate salesperson who learned the same broken system.

Or you can take back control, position yourself as someone who knows what they’re doing (because you do), and start admitting clients who value your work and pay you fairly. Say NO to everyone else – even if they are ready to pay.

The world doesn’t need another order-taker. It needs problem-solvers who aren’t afraid to charge what they’re worth.

Your future self is counting on you. Your company’s future is counting on you.

To Summarise

It takes courage to say no, to specialize, to charge what you’re worth. It takes discipline to protect your time and to nurture your relationships. But trust me, it’s worth it. When you focus on these things, business success becomes a natural byproduct, not a desperate chase.

It boils down to this: there are things way more important than just making a quick buck or landing every single client.

If you get the above things right, the sales and business success usually follows (paradoxically), and it feels a lot better too.

If you ignore them, you might make some money, but it’ll be a constant struggle, and you’ll probably feel pretty miserable.

So, next time you’re feeling the pressure to take on a bad project, or to lower your prices, or to give away your ideas for free, just ask yourself:

  • Is this going to help me maintain my self-respect?
  • Is it going to build my expertise?
  • Is it a good use of my time?
  • Is it going to strengthen my relationships?
  • And most importantly, is it going to contribute to my peace of mind?

If the answer to any of those is no, then maybe, just maybe, it’s time to walk away.

Because some things are just more important than business success.

And when you realize that, you’ll find that true success, the kind that feels good and lasts, will start to find you.