Leaders frequently pride themselves on data-driven decisions and logical planning. Yet, there’s an often-overlooked leadership muscle that remains dramatically undertrained—the ability to purely and powerfully want something, free from justification, reasoning, or incremental thinking.
This is not about frivolous desire but about tapping into a source of powerful leadership: unfiltered, unreasonable, unapologetic wanting. Let me unpack this for you.
Want vs. Need: Understanding the Crucial Difference
Consider this snippet from a conversation with Alex, a CEO:
Me: “What’s your target revenue for three years from now?”
Alex: “20 million.”
Me: “Why 20 million?”
Alex: “It’s just a logical projection from our current growth.”
Me: “Forget logic. What do you truly want?”
Alex:(pauses, uncomfortable) “Honestly? 30 million with an 18% margin.”
Me: “How does saying that feel?”
Alex: “Powerful, scary, but exciting.”
Key distinction:
- Need: Rational, justified, incremental.
- Want: Visionary, bold, free from immediate practicality.
Most leaders confuse wanting with needing. ‘Need’ is rational, safe, and justified. It relies on data, past achievements, and incremental improvements. But ‘want’ is different—it’s free, unbound, and daringly ambitious. It’s not derived from past performance or future projections. It’s rooted purely in what you care about without external justification.
Escaping the Trap of ‘Should’
Consider this dialogue with Sara, a technology executive, which illustrates this well:
Sara: “I should take some time alone tonight; it’s been a stressful day.”
Me: “Notice your justification? Try it again without any reasoning.”
Sara: “I want one hour alone tonight.”
Me: “How does that sound?”
Sara: “Clear. Liberating. Surprisingly simple.”
Why “should” is problematic:
- Implies obligation, external expectation, or guilt.
- Creates heaviness, stress, and emotional constraint.
Leaders frequently operate within this restrictive frame: “I should achieve this,” “We should improve by this percentage,” “The profit margin should be at least X.” The word ‘should’ introduces heaviness, stress, and constraint—emotionally draining rather than empowering.
The Cost of Ignoring Pure Wanting
Consider Paul, a corporate executive who played it safe:
Paul: “We consistently meet our growth targets.”
Me: “Is that exciting for you or your team?”
Paul:(hesitates) “Honestly, it’s safe but dull.”
Me: “What bold vision do you truly want, without needing logic?”
Paul: “I want us to dominate our industry—not because data says it’s possible, but because I genuinely desire it.”
Me: “How does declaring that feel?”
Paul: “Invigorating. Like fresh energy.”
Ignoring the muscle of pure wanting leads to:
- Predictable mediocrity.
- Limited innovation.
- Reduced team motivation and engagement.
Linda’s experience as a division leader in a multinational corporation illustrates this vividly. Her division consistently achieved its targets yet suffered from chronic disengagement and low innovation. When Linda surveyed her team anonymously, the feedback was clear: employees felt their work lacked real purpose or excitement. Linda realized that her own cautious, data-driven approach was partly to blame.
Only after she publicly shifted from safe, predictable objectives to openly declaring ambitious, passionate goals did the division experience a noticeable revival in creativity, morale, and productivity.
The ability to purely want something without needing rational justification is a muscle that requires intentional cultivation. Leaders conditioned by logic, practicality, and data often find it challenging initially. However, this muscle—once developed—creates visionary breakthroughs, fosters courage, and generates a powerful leadership presence.
When you declare a want, especially something seemingly impossible or unrealistic, you create a space for innovation. There’s no guarantee you’ll immediately know how to achieve it, and that’s precisely the point. Leadership isn’t management. Management handles execution based on what’s already known; leadership thrives in the unknown, carving pathways where none previously existed.
Imagine John F. Kennedy declaring he wanted to land a man on the moon. It wasn’t a need; America didn’t necessarily have to do it. It wasn’t a ‘should’ dictated by societal obligation. It was a pure, bold want. He didn’t have all the data or a proven roadmap, but by boldly declaring the impossible as his desire, he galvanized an entire nation, sparked unprecedented innovation, and ultimately achieved a milestone that seemed unthinkable at the time.
The Life of a Needer
A needer doesn’t chase dreams—they chase survival. They ask themselves, What do I need to do to get by? What do I need to keep things stable? What can I reasonably ask for without rocking the boat?
They settle. They settle for the client that underpays, the partner that drains them, the life that suffocates—but at least feels “secure.” They compromise their time, energy, and joy, not because it’s what they want, but because it’s what they believe they should accept.
In the world of needing, every request, every desire, has to be run through a filter of justification:
- “I need this because I’ve worked hard.”
- “I deserve this because I’ve sacrificed.”
- “I should have this because others have it too.”
It’s exhausting. And worse—it’s a trap. Because needing is always tied to lack. Needing assumes there isn’t enough. If you get more, someone else gets less. So you justify to yourself and to others why you’re allowed to want what you want.
The Shift: From Scarcity to Creation, from Needing to Wanting
But there’s another way. A shift so subtle, it’s easy to miss. But once you cross that line, you never go back.
The shift is this: You stop living from need. And you start living from want.
Wanting, true wanting, doesn’t come with excuses. You don’t need a spreadsheet, a résumé, or a reference to prove your worth. You want because you want.
You want a thriving business? Say it.
You want a loving, spacious relationship? Say it.
You want to take a month off to write, rest, or just breathe? Say it.
And when someone asks you, “Why do you want that?”, your answer isn’t an essay—it’s a sentence:
“Because I want it.”
That’s it.
Strengthening Your “Want” Muscle
Developing your want muscle starts simply. Begin by distinguishing clearly between your ‘wants’ and your ‘needs’ or ‘shoulds.’ Whenever setting a goal, ask yourself, “Do I want this purely because I desire it, or is it driven by reasoning from past data, trends, or external expectations?”
To build this crucial leadership skill, use these practical steps:
- Clarify Your Wants Regularly
- Regularly ask yourself: “What do I genuinely want, irrespective of feasibility?”
- Have your team frequently articulate bold, unreasonable desires.
- Conduct “Want” Dialogues
- Hold dedicated meetings exploring ambitious wants without immediate practicality.
- Celebrate audacious ideas openly, building trust and confidence.
- Storytelling and Reflection
- Share success stories where bold wants led to major breakthroughs.
- Reflect on historical visionary examples (e.g., JFK’s moon landing).
- Journal Without Limits
- Regularly journal your pure wants without filtering for practicality or logic.
- Use these reflections as a springboard for visionary actions.
Transformative Leadership Through Wanting
Leaders who embrace pure, unfiltered wanting often create extraordinary breakthroughs:
- Google’s famous “20% Time” policy led employees to freely pursue what they genuinely wanted, producing Gmail and AdSense.
- Steve Jobs consistently pursued desires others deemed impractical, revolutionizing entire industries.
Living in the World of Wanting
Living from want isn’t easy. It takes courage. Most people won’t understand you. They’ve been conditioned to chase what’s practical, what’s logical, what’s deserved. They’ve built a life inside a box of justification.
When you step outside that box, you disrupt their system. And they’ll try to pull you back in.
They’ll call you selfish. Unrealistic. Naive.
They’ll say, “You can’t just have whatever you want.”
But you’re not taking anything from anyone. You’re creating something new. That’s the power of wanting.
Because in the world of wanters:
- There is no scarcity.
- There is no zero-sum game.
- There is no competition.
A true wanter doesn’t compete—they create. They invent, initiate, innovate. They carve paths where there were none. They write songs that never existed. Build products no one asked for but everyone needs. Create companies, cultures, communities out of thin air.
Why? Because they wanted to.
Wanting is a Choice.
It’s for the few who say, “I want something wildly beyond what makes sense.”
And the moment you say that, you tap into a part of yourself that most people never access.
It’s not ambition. It’s not ego.
It’s alignment.
It’s the recognition that your true self—your unique ability, your deepest expression, your soul’s work—cannot be reached through logic or need.
It can only be reached through want.
Wanting Requires No Permission
Here’s the truth that shatters most social norms:
You don’t need to justify your desires to anyone. Not even yourself.
Wanting is enough.
This is terrifying for the needers. Because if you don’t justify your wants… they can’t argue with you. They can’t out-reason you.
Provocative Questions for Bold Leaders
To provoke deeper reflection, consider these questions:
- What audacious goal would you declare if feasibility wasn’t a factor?
- How many of your current goals are set out of obligation rather than genuine desire?
- If your entire team started openly expressing ambitious wants, how would your organizational culture change?
- For political leaders: If your leadership were guided by bold desire rather than public expectations, how differently would you act?
Ultimately, leadership is about envisioning beyond the visible, feasible, and practical. Ask yourself—and dare to answer honestly—what do you truly want?
Your answer might just redefine everything.
