Let’s talk about that thing that’s been bugging you. That goal that feels perpetually out of reach. We’ve all been there, feeling stuck and spinning our wheels.
It’s like having a tiny, sharp stone in your shoe. At first, it’s just a little annoying. You can limp along, telling yourself, “It’s not that bad. I’ll deal with it later.”
But with every step, that stone grinds away. Eventually, what was a minor nuisance wears a raw, painful hole in your foot. You’re now injured, all because you didn’t take a moment to dump the stone out.
You know that moment when you’re trying to solve a problem, and you keep circling back to the same reasons? “I don’t know how.” “I can’t figure it out.” “I need more information first before starting.”
You want something. You know that you are meant for more.
You know that you are more capable than what your current level of success shows.
And yet you hold back, you wait, you hesitate – instead of moving forward boldly and unapologetically.
That is like living with a stone in your foot.
This is what happens when we avoid the things we know we need to do. We think we’re saving time and energy by ignoring the discomfort, but we’re actually creating a much bigger, more painful problem down the road.
So, why do we do it? Why do we live with the stone in our shoe?
When I talk to people who feel stuck, they almost always give me the same reasons, in this exact order:
- “I don’t know how to fix it.” (The plan)
- “I don’t really believe I can fix it.” (The confidence)
- “I guess I’m just not that committed to fixing it.” (The commitment)
This sounds logical, right? It makes sense.
“Of course I’m not committed! I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m not even sure it’ll work! So how can I commit?”
Here’s what nobody tells you: you’re looking at it backwards.
The real order, the one that actually runs the show, is this:
- “I’m not committed to fixing it.” (The commitment)
- “So, I don’t believe I can fix it.” (The confidence)
- “And that’s why I never figure out how to fix it.” (The plan)
I see this constantly with leaders who come to me stuck, frustrated, and running on empty. They’re brilliant people. They’ve built careers, led teams, created value. But they’re grinding against the same obstacles over and over, like there’s an invisible wall they can’t get past.
In every case, the person lays out their evidence: “No plan, no surety, no confidence.” And then they draw what feels like an inevitable conclusion: “Therefore, I cannot commit.“
The Moment of Power
Understanding this backwards flip is everything. The “how” is findable. The “belief” is buildable through action. But you will never access them if you haven’t made the foundational choice – to commit.
Commitment is the engine. Everything else is just cargo. You can have all the maps and fuel in the world (“the how” and “the belief”), but if the engine is off, you’re going nowhere.
The moment you make a real, internal commitment—a “I AM doing this, period”—your brain stops being a problem-finder and becomes a solution-finder.
The commitment creates the first step. The first step creates a result. The result builds belief. And belief fuels the next step. The “how” reveals itself one piece at a time.
So, ask yourself: what’s the “stone in your shoe”? And are you using “I don’t know how” and “I don’t believe I can” as a comfortable excuse to avoid the one thing that has always been in your power?
The power to choose. The power to commit.
The Trap of “How” and “Belief”
We’ve been taught to wait. We think, “First, I need a detailed map. Then, I need to feel super confident. Then, and only then, will I start the journey.”
It’s like wanting to learn to cook a fantastic meal. If you use the backwards logic, you’d say: “I can’t start cooking because a) I don’t know the recipe, and b) I don’t believe I’m a good cook.” So you never turn on the stove. You never chop a vegetable. You just stare at the kitchen, feeling helpless, and order takeout again.
But what’s the real problem? It’s not the lack of a recipe—you can find a million recipes online! It’s not the lack of belief—belief comes from practice! The real problem is that you never made a firm commitment to cook the meal.
The “how“ is out there for the finding. You can learn just about anything. And “belief”? Belief isn’t a magic feather that you’re given. It’s a seed. You can’t wait for it to grow before you plant it. You have to plant it first—by taking action—and then it grows.
But commitment? That’s different. That’s the one thing no one can give you. That’s the one thing you can’t google. It’s a choice that happens entirely inside you. Nobody else can make that choice for you.
Commitment isn’t the final prize you get after everything is easy and figured out. It’s the first step you take when everything is hazy.
The real order—the one that actually creates all results—is:
- Get clear and commit to what it is that you want (nothing else required)
- Commitment creates the courage and belief that you need to start
- Learn how to adapt and stay committed on the way – building confidence and momentum
Commitment comes first. Not eventually. Not “once I figure things out.” First.
because Commitment creates everything else.
The Power Move: Commitment Creates Everything Else
Here’s the thing about commitment that most people miss: commitment doesn’t follow results. Results follow commitment.
You don’t wait until you have clarity to commit. You commit, and clarity emerges.
You don’t wait until you believe it’s possible to commit. You commit, and belief builds.
You don’t wait until you know how to commit. You commit, and the how reveals itself.
You don’t wait until you have all the resources to commit. You commit, and then get resourceful to make it happen.
This isn’t some positive thinking nonsense. This is how reality works.
When you genuinely commit—not “try” or “hope” or “see what happens”—everything changes. Resources appear (because of your actions – not because of some magical “secret”).
You speak and share your commitment with others wherever you go. Opportunities show up. Solutions that were invisible become obvious. People start helping.
Why? Because commitment changes you. It changes what you notice, what you prioritize, what you’re willing to do. It changes what you say yes to and what you say no to. Commitment reorganizes your entire operating system as a human BEING.
I’ve watched this happen hundreds of times. A client comes in stuck on something they’ve been “working on” for months or years. We get clear on what they actually want. They make a real commitment—not a wish, not a goal, a commitment—and within weeks, sometimes days, what seemed impossible starts moving.
Not because they suddenly got smarter or learned some secret technique. Because commitment unlocked everything else.
From Standstill to Creation
Let’s make this practical. Pull out that mental list of “Things I Need to Change.” Now, ask yourself a more pointed question: which one of these, if accomplished, would have the greatest impact on my life, business, career, or family?
Prioritize your top one or two. Are they important? You know they are. They are the stones in your shoe that you’ve been ignoring.
Now, instead of asking, “Do I know how to do this?” or “Do I truly believe I can?” ask only this: “Am I willing to make a commitment to this, right now?”
This commitment is not a vague wish. It is a definitive, internal contract. It is the decision that, no matter what, you are in the game. This commitment immediately changes your orientation. The “how” that once seemed invisible suddenly becomes visible. You notice relevant information, you are drawn to the right people, and you begin to see pathways where before there were only walls.
Your belief begins to grow, not from thin air, but from the evidence of your own actions. Each step you take, fueled by your commitment, becomes a brick in the foundation of your self-confidence. The clarity you longed for emerges from the process of engagement, not from passive contemplation.
Commitment creates the action. Action creates results and builds belief. Belief fuels more commitment and bigger actions. This is the virtuous cycle that commitment initiates. It is the force that creates everything else—the clarity, the capability, the confidence, and ultimately, the tangible results you desire.
The power to move past standstill was never outside of you. It was never hidden in a secret formula or contingent on the right circumstances. It resides in the most fundamental choice you can make: the choice to commit.
Stop waiting for the path to appear. Choose where you want to go, and the very act of commitment will start carving the path for you.
Creating Commitment Is Always In Your Power
The beautiful, sometimes terrifying truth is this: creating commitment is always available to you.
You might not have the skills yet. You might not have the resources. You might not have the evidence that it’s possible.
You always have the power to commit.
You can commit to learning. You can commit to believing. You can commit to finding the way.
You can create a commitment to something you don’t have, and then create it.
This is where real power lives. Not in having all the answers. Not in being certain. In being willing to commit anyway. And then move from that commitment.
Commitment is how you stop, take off the shoe, and remove the stone. Not someday. Not when you figure out the perfect way to do it. Now.
Everything you want is on the other side of a real commitment.
Not a try. Not a hope. Not an “I’ll see.”
A commitment.
And creating that commitment? That’s always, always in your power.
So what are you going to commit to?