The End, or a New Beginning?

It has been three months today since my mother passed away, and since I have written anything. Maybe because words aren’t enough to capture what is going on in my mind lately. Maybe because I don’t want the world to see me vulnerable. Maybe because I am scared or confused, frustrated and angry.. Or perhaps, it is life’s way of teaching me something new. Three months have passed, and although I am more at peace, I have come to realize that life will NEVER be the same again…

It has not been easy – these last three months. I have often found myself lost and asking questions like –  Where I am going? What purpose will it serve? What do I want? And who and what really matters? It has been a painful process, but I guess there are also some lessons and learnings in it. I have done things in the last three months I have never done before, or never thought I would do. But does anything matter?

As some of my friends have reminded me, I should write again. And so I am writing this small post to tell the world I am still alive. Life is turbulent, and I guess this is just one of those patches, and I will come out of it as a better person. And though I have not written lately, I have thought about writing a lot, and I will pick it up again soon. So hang in there, I feel a lot better every passing day.

I will leave you with this poem which I read somewhere and this is what I think She is trying to say to all her loved ones from wherever she is –

” When tomorrow starts without me, & I’m not there to see
Your eyes full of tears, showing your love for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry so much, the way you did that day
Thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you
And each time you think of me, I’m thinking of you too

So when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
An angel came & called my name & took me by my hand

It was time for me to take my place, in heaven far above
Leaving everyone behind, especially the ones I love

As I turned & walked away, a tear fell from my eye
Remembering the life I lived & why I had to die

I do not want to go, with having so much to do
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you

So when tomorrow starts without me, don’t think that we’re apart
For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart. “